if they have apprehension and capacity; women are therein not a jote
inferiour to them. Which cannot but redound to your great benefite,
because, when any one knoweth, that another is as cunning and
subtile as himselfe; he will not be so rashly adventurous in
deceite. And who maketh any doubt, that if those sleights and trickes,
whereof this dayes argument may give us occasion to speake, should
afterwardes be put in execution by men: would it not minister just
reason, of punishing themselves for beguiling you, knowing, that (if
you please) you have the like abilitie in your owne power? Mine intent
therefore is to tell you, what a woman (though but of meane
qualitie) did to her husband, upon a sodaine, and in a moment (as it
were) for her owne safety.
Not long since, there lived in Naples, an honest meane man, who
did take to Wife, a fayre and lustie young Woman, being named
Peronella.-He professing the Trade of a Mason, and shee Carding and
Spinning, maintained themselves in a reasonable condition, abating and
abounding as their Fortunes served. It came to passe, that a
certayne young man, well observing the beauty and good parts of
Peronella, became much addicted in affection towardes her: and by
his often and secret sollicitations, which he found not to be
unkindely entertayned; his successe proved answerable to his hope,
no unindifferencie appearing in their purposes, but where her estate
seemed weakest, his supplies made an addition of more strength.
Now, for their securer meeting, to stand cleare from all matter of
scandal or detection, they concluded in this order between themselves.
Lazaro, for so was Peronellaes Husband named, being an earely riser
every morning, either to seeke for worke, or to effect it being
undertaken: this amorous friend being therewith acquainted, and
standing in some such convenient place, where hee could see Lazaroes
departure from his house, and yet himselfe no way discerned; poore
Lazaro was no sooner gone, but presently he enters the house, which
stood in a verie solitarie street, called the Avorio. Many mornings
had they thus met together, to their no meane delight and
contentation, till one especial morning among the rest, when Lazaro
was gone forth to worke, and Striguario (so was the amorous young
man named) visiting Peronella in the house: upon a verie urgent
occasion, Lazaro returned backe againe, quite contrary to his former
wont, keeping foorth all day, and never comming home till night.
Finding his doore to be fast lockt, and he having knockt softlie
once or twice, he spake in this manner to himselfe. Fortune I thanke
thee, for albeit thou hast made mee poore, yet thou hast bestowed a
better blessing on me, in matching me with so good, honest, and loving
a Wife. Behold, though I went early out of my house, her selfe hath
risen in the cold to shut the doore, to prevent the entrance of
theeves, or any other that might offend us. Peronella having heard
what her husband sayde, and knowing the manner of his knocke, said
fearfully to Striguario. Alas deare friend, what shall wee doe? I am
little lesse then a dead Woman: For, Lazaro my Husband is come backe
again, and I know not what to do or say. He never returned in this
order before now, doubtlesse, hee saw when you entred the doore; and
for the safety of your honour and mine: creepe under this brewing Fat,
till I have opened the doore, to know the reason of his so soone
returning.
Striguario made no delaying of the matter, but got himselfe closelie
under the Fat, and Peronella opening the doore for her husbands
enterance, with a frowning countenance, spake thus unto him. What
meaneth this so early returning home againe this morning? It
seemeth, thou intendest to do nothing to day, having brought backe thy
tooles in thy hands? If such be thine intent, how shall we live? Where
shal we have bread to fill our bellies? Dooest thou thinke, that I
will suffer thee to pawne my gowne, and other poore garments, as
heeretofore thou hast done? I that card and spinne both night and day,
till I have worne the flesh from my fingers; yet all will hardly finde
oyle to maintaine our Lampe. Husband, husband, there is not one
neighbour dwelling by us, but makes a mockerie of me, and tels me
plainly, that I may be ashamed to drudge and moyle as I do;
wondering not a little, how I am able to endure it; and thou returnest
home with thy hands in thy hose, as if thou hadst no worke at all to
do this day.
Having thus spoken, she fell to weeping, and then thus began
again. Poore wretched woman as I am, in an unfortunate houre was I
borne, and in a much worse, when I was made thy Wife. I could have had
a proper, handsome yong man; one, that would have maintained mee brave
and gallantly: but, beast as I was, to forgoe my good, and cast my
selfe away on such a beggar as thou art, and whom none wold have
had, but such an Asse as I. Other women live at hearts ease, and in
jollity, have their amorous friends and loving Paramours, yea, one,
two, three at once, making their husbands looke like a Moone cressent,
wheron they shine Sun-like, with amiable lookes, because they know not
how to helpe it: when I (poore foole) live heere at home a miserable
life, not daring once to dreame of such follies, an innocent soule,
heartlesse and harmelesse.
Many times, sitting and sighing to my selfe: Lord, thinke I, of what
mettall am I made? Why should not I have a Friend in a corner,
aswell as others have? I am flesh and blood, as they are, not made
of brasse or iron, and therefore subject to womens frailty. would thou
shouldest know it husband, and I tell it thee in good earnest; That if
I would doe ill, I could quickely finde a friend at a neede.
Gallants there are good store, who (of my knowledge) love me
dearely, and have made me very large and liberall promises, of
Golde, Silver, jewels, and gay Garments, if I would extend them the
least favour. But my heart will not suffer me, I never was the
daughter of such a mother, as had so much as a thought of such
matters: no, I thanke our blessed Ladie, and S. Friswid for it: and
yet thou returnest home againe, when thou shouldst be at Worke.
Lazaro, who stoode all this while like a well-beleeving Logger-head,
demurely thus answered. Alas good Wife! I pray you bee not so angry, I
never had so much as an ill thought of you, but know wel enough what
you are, and have made good proofe thereof this morning. Understand
therefore patiently (sweet Wife) that I went forth to my work as dayly
I use to do, little dreaming (as I thinke you doe not) that it had
bene Holyday. Wife, this is the Feast day of Saint Galeone; whereon we
may in no wise worke, and this is the reason of my so soone returning.
Neverthelesse (dear Wife) I was not carelesse of our Houshold
provision: For, though we worke not, yet we must have foode, which I
have provided for more then a moneth. Wife, I remembred the brewing
Fat, whereof we have little or no use at all, but rather it is a
trouble to the house, then otherwise. I met with an honest Friend, who
stayeth without at the doore, to him I have sold the Fat for ten
Gigliatoes, and he tarrieth to take it away with him.
How Husband? replied Peronella, Why now I am worse offended then
before. Thou that art a man, walkest every where, and shouldst be
experienced in worldly affaires: wouldst thou bee so simple, as to
sell such a brewing Fat for ten Gigliatoes? Why, I that am a poore
ignorant woman, a house Dove, sildome going out of my doore: have sold
it already for twelve Gigliatoes, to a very honest man, who (even a
little before thy comming home) came to me, we agreed on the bargaine,
and he is now underneath the Fat, to see whether it be sound or no.
When credulous Lazaro heard this, he was better contented then ever,
and went to him that taried at the doore, saying. Good man, you may
goe your way, for, whereas you offered me but ten Gigliatoes for the
Fat, my loving wife hath sold it for twelve, and I must maintaine what
shee hath done: so the man departed, and the variance ended.
Peronella then saide to her husband. Seeing thou art come home so
luckily, helpe me to lift up the Fat, that the man may come foorth,
and then you two end the bargaine together. Striguario, who thogh he
was mewed up under the tubbe, had his eares open enough; and hearing
the witty excuse of Peronella, tooke himselfe free from future
feare: and being come from under the Fat, pretending also, as if he
had herd nothing, nor saw Lazaro, looking round about him, said. Where
is this good woman? Lazaro stepping forth boldly like a man,
replyed: Heere am I, what would you have Sir? Thou? quoth
Striguario, what art thou? I ask for the good wife, with whom I made
my match for the Fat. Honest Gentleman (answered Lazaro) I am that
honest Womans Husband, for lacke of a better, and I will maintaine
whatsoever my Wife hath done.
I crie you mercie Sir, replyed Striguario, I bargained with your
Wife for this brewing Fat, which I finde to be whole and sound: only
it is uncleane within, hard crusted with some dry soile upon it, which
I know not well how to get off, if you will be the meanes of making it
cleane, I have the money heere ready for it. For that Sir (quoth
Peronella) take you no care, although no match at all had beene
made, what serves my Husband for, but to make it cleane? Yes
forsooth Sir, answered sily Lazaro, you shall have it neate and cleane
before you pay the mony.
So, stripping himselfe into his shirt lighting a Candle, and
taking tooles fit for the purpose; the Fat was whelmed over him, and
he being within it, wrought untill he sweated, with scraping and
scrubbing. So that these poore Lovers, what they could not
accomplish as they wold, necessity enforced them to performe as they
might. And Peronella, looking in at the vent-hole, where the Liquor
runneth forth for the meshing; seemed to instruct her husband in the
businesse, as espying those parts where the Fat was fowlest, saying:
There, there Lazaro, tickle it there, the Gentleman payes well for it,
and is worthy to have it: but see thou do thy selfe no harme good
Husband. I warrant thee Wife, answered Lazaro, hurt not your selfe
with leaning your stomacke on the Fat, and leave the cleansing of it
to me. To be breefe, the Brewing Fat was neatly cleansed, Peronella
and Striguario both well pleased, the money paide, and honest
meaning Lazaro not discontented.
THE SEVENTH DAY, THE THIRD NOVELL
SERVING AS A FRIENDLY ADVERTISEMENT TO MARRIED WOMEN, THAT MONKS,
FRIARS, AND PRIESTS MAY BE NONE OF THEIR GOSSIPS, IN
REGARD OF UNAVOYDABLE PERILLES ENSUING THEREBY
Friar Reynard, falling in love with a Gentlewoman, Wife to a man
of good account; found the meanes to become her Gossip. Afterward,
he being conferring closely with her in her Chamber, and her Husband
coming sodainly thither: she made him beleeve, that he came thither
for no other end; but to cure his God-sonne by a charme, of a
dangerous disease which he had by Wormes.
Philostratus told not this Tale so covertly, concerning Lazaros
simplicity, and Peronellaes witty policy; but the Ladies found a
knot in the rush, and laughed not a little, at his queint manner of
discoursing it. But upon the conclusion, the King looking upon Madam
Eliza, willed her to succeede next, which as willingly she granted,
and thus began. Pleasant Ladies, the charme or conjuration wherwith
Madam Aemillia laid her night-walking Spirit, maketh me remember a
Novell of another enchantment; which although it carrieth not
commendation equall to the other, yet I intend to report it, because
it suteth with our present purpose, and I cannot sodainly be
furnisht with another, answerable thereto in nature.
You are to understand then, that there lived in Siena, a proper yong
man, of good birth and well friended, being named Reynard. Earnestly
he affected his neere dwelling neighbour, a beautifull Gentlewoman,
and wife to a man of good esteeme: of whom hee grew halfe perswaded,
that if he could (without suspition) compasse private conference
with her, he should reach the height of his amorous desires. Yet
seeing no likely meanes wherewith to further his hope, and shee
being great with childe, he resolved to become a Godfather to the
childe, at such time as it should be brought to Christening. And being
inwardly acquainted with her Husband, who was named Credulano; such
familiar intercourses passed betweene them, both of Reynards kinde
offer, and Credulanoes as courteous acceptance, that hee was set downe
for a Gossippe.
Reynard being thus embraced for Madam Agnesiaes Gossip, and this
proving the onely colourable meanes, for his safer permission of
speech with her, to let her now understand by word of mouth, what long
before she collected by his lookes and behaviour: it fell out no way
beneficiall to him, albeit Agnesia seemed not nice or scrupulous in
hearing, yet she had a more precious care of her honor. It came to
passe, within a while after (whether by seeing his labour vainly
spent, or some other urgent occasion moving him thereto, I know not)
Reynard would needs enter into Religion, and whatsoever strictnesse or
austeritie hee found to be in that kinde of life, yet he determined to
persevere therein, whether it were for his good or ill. And although
within a short space, after he was thus become a Religious Monke,
hee seemed to forget the former love which he bare to his gossip
Agnesia, and divers other enormous vanities beside: yet let me tell
you, successe of time tutord him in them again(!; and, without any
respect to his poore ho habite, but rather in contempt thereof (as
it were) he tooke an especiall delight, in wearing garments of much
richer esteeme, yet favoured by the same Monasticall profession,
appearing (in all respects) like a Court-Minion or Favourite, of a
sprightly and Poeticall disposition, for composing Verses, Sonnets,
and Canzons, singing them to sundry excellent instruments, and yet not
greatly curious of his company, so they were some of the best, and
