abilitie, as the youthfullest gallant in the World could doe.
Whereas (in verie deede) his person was utterly displeasing, his
behaviour immodest and scandaious, and his usuall Language,
savouring of such sensualitie, as, very fewe or none cared for his
company. And if any Woman seemed respective of him, it was in regard
of his outside and profession, and more for feare, then the least
affection, and alwayes as welcome to them, as the head-ake.
His fond and foolish carriage stil continuing to this Gentlewoman;
she being wise and vertuously advised, spake thus unto him. Holy
Sir, if you love me according as you protest, and manifest by your
outward behaviour: I am the more to thanke you for it, being bound
in dutie to love you likewise. But if your Love have any harshe or
unsavourie taste, which mine is no way able to endure, neyther dare
entertaine in anie kinde whatsoever: you must and shall hold mee
excused, because I am made of no such temper. You are my ghostly and
spirituall Father, an Holy Priest. Moreover, yeares have made you
honorably aged; all which severall weighty considerations, ought to
confirme you in continency and chastity. Remember withall (good sir)
that I am but a child to you in years, and were I bent to any wanton
appetites, you shold justly correct me by fatherly counsell, such as
most beautifieth your sacred profession. Beside, I am a Widdow, and
you are not ignorant, how requisite a thing honestie is in widdowes.
Wherefore, pardon mee (Holy Father:) for, in such manner as you make
the motion: I desire you not to love mee, because I neither can or
will at any time so affect you.
The Provoste gaining no other grace at this time, would not so
give over for this first repulse, but pursuing her still with
unbeseeming importunity; many private meanes he used to her by
Letters, tokens, and insinuating ambassages; yea, whensoever shee came
to the Church, he never ceased his wearisome solicitings. Whereat
she growing greatly offended, and perceyving no likelyhood of his
desisting; became so tyred with his tedious suite, that she considered
with her selfe, how she might dispatch him as he deserved, because she
saw no other remedy. Yet shee would not attempte anie thing in this
case, without acquainting her Bretheren first therwith. And having
tolde them, how much shee was importuned by the Provost, and also what
course she meant to take (wherin they both counselled and encouraged
her:) within a few daies after, shee went to Church as she was wont to
do; where so soone as the Provost espyed her: forthwith he came to
her, and according to his continued course, he fell into his amorous
courting. She looking upon him with a smiling countenance, and walking
aside with him out of any hearing: after he had spent many impertinent
speeches, shee (venting foorth manie a vehement sighe) at length
returned him this answer.
Reverend Father, I have often heard it saide: That there is not
any Fort or Castle, how strongly munited soever it bee; but by
continuall assayling, at length (of necessity) it must and will be
surprized. Which comparison, I may full well allude to my selfe.
For, you having so long time solicited me, one while with affable
language, then againe with tokens and entisements, of such
prevailing power: as have broken the verie barricado of my former
deliberation, and yeelded mee uppe as your prisoner, to be commanded
at your pleasure for now I am onely devoted yours.
Well may you (Gentle Ladies) imagine, that this answere was not a
little welcome to the Provost; who, shrugging with conceyte of joy,
presently thus replyed. I thanke you Madame Piccarda, and to tell
you true, I held it almost as that you could stand upon such long
resistance, considering, it never so fortuned to mee with anie
other. And I have many times saide to my selfe, that if women were
made of silver, they hardly could be worth a pennie, because there can
scarsely one be found of so good allay, as to endure the test and
essay. But let us breake off this frivolous conference, and resolve
upon a conclusion; How, when and where we may safely meete together.
Worthy Sir, answered Piccarda, your selfe may appoint the time
whensoever you please, because I have no Husband, to whom I should
render any account of my absence, or presence: but I am not provided
of any place.
A pretty while the Provoste stood musing, and at last saide. A place
Madame? where can be more privacie, then in your owne house? Alas
Sir (quoth she) you know that I have two Gentlemen my brethren, who
continually are with me, and other of their friends beside: My house
also is not great, wherefore it is impossible to be there, except
you could be like a dumbe man, without speaking one word, or making
the very least noyse; beside, to remaine in darkenesse, as if you were
blinde, and who can be able to endure all these? And yet (without
these) there is no adventuring, albeit they never come into my
Chamber: but their lodging is so close to mine, as there cannot any
word be spoken, be it never so low or in whispering manner, but they
heare it very easily. Madame said the Provoste, for one or two nights,
I can make hard shift. Why Sir (quoth she) the matter onely
remaineth in you, for if you be silent and suffering, as already you
have heard, there is no feare at all of safty. Let me alone Madame,
replyed the Provoste, I will be governed by your directions: but, in
any case, let us begin this night. With all my heart, saide shee. So
appointing him how, and when hee should come; hee parted from her, and
shee returned home to her house.
Heere I am to tell you, that this Gentlewoman had a servant, in
the nature of an old maide, not indued with any well featured face,
but instead thereof, she had the ugliest and most counterfeit
countenance, as hardly could be seene a worse. She had a wrie mouth,
huge great lippes, foule teeth, great and blacke, a monstrous stinking
breath, her eyes bleared, and alwayes running, the complexion of her
face betweene greene and yellow, as if shee had not spent the Summer
season in the Citie, but in the parching Countrey under a hedge; and
beside all these excellent parts, shee was crooke backt, poult footed,
and went like a lame Mare in Fetters. Her name was Ciuta, but in
regard of her flat nose, lying as low as a Beagles, shee was called
Ciutazza. Now, notwithstanding all this deformity in her, yet she
had a singuler opinion of her selfe, as commonly all such foule
Sluts have: in regard whereof, Madame Piccarda calling her aside, thus
began.
Ciutazza, if thou wilt doe for me one nights service, I shall bestow
on thee a faire new Smocke. When Ciutazza heard her speake of a new
Smocke, instantly she answered. Madame, if you please to bestow a
new Smocke on me, were it to runne thorow the fire for you, or any
businesse of farre greater danger, you onely have the power to command
me, and I will doe it. I will not (said Piccarda) urge thee to any
dangerous action, but onely to lodge in my bed this night with a
man, and give him courteous entertainement, who shall reward thee
liberally for it. But have an especiall care that thou speake not
one word, for feare thou shouldst be heard by my Brethren, who (as
thou knowest) lodge so neere by; doe this, and then demaund thy Smocke
of me. Madame (quoth Ciutazza) if it were to lye with sixe men, rather
then one; if you say the word, it shall be done.
When night was come, the Provoste also came according to
appointment, even when two brethren were in their lodging, they easily
heard his entrance, as Piccarda (being present with them) had informed
them. In went the Provoste without any candle, or making the least
noise to be heard, and being in Piccardaes Chamber, went to bed:
Ciutazza tarrying not long from him, but (as her Mistresse had
instructed her) she went to bed likewise, not speaking any word at
all, and the Provoste, imagining to have her there, whom he so
highly affected, fell to imbracing and kissing Ciutazza, who was as
forward in the same manner to him, and there for a while I intend to
leave them.
When Piccarda had performed this hot piece of businesse, she
referred the effecting of the remainder to her Brethren, in such
sort as it was compacted betweene them. Faire and softly went the
two brethren forth of their Chamber, and going to the Market place,
Fortune was more favourable to them then they could wish, in
accomplishing the issue of their intent. For the heat being somwhat
tedious, the Lord Bishop was walking abroad very late, with purpose to
visit the Brethren at the Widdowes house, because he tooke great
delight in their company, as being good Schollers, and endued with
other singular parts beside. Meeting with them in the open Market
place, he acquainted them with his determination; whereof they were
not a little joyfull, it jumping so justly with their intent.
Being come to the Widdowes house, they passed through a smal
nether Court, where lights stood ready to welcome him thither; and
entring into a goodly Hall, there was store of good wine and
banquetting, which the Bishop accepted in very thankefull manner:
and courteous complement being overpassed, one of the Brethren, thus
spake. My good Lord, seeing it hath pleased you to honour our poore
Widdowed Sisters house with your presence, for which wee shall
thanke you while we live: We would intreate one favour more of you,
onely but to see a sight which we will shew you. The Lord Bishop was
well contented with the motion: so the Brethren conducting him by
the hand, brought him into their Sisters Chamber, where the Provoste
was in bed with Ciutazza, both soundly sleeping, but enfolded in his
armes, as wearied (belike) with their former wantonning, and whereof
his age had but little need.
The Courtaines being close drawne about the bed, although the season
was exceeding hot, they having lighted Torches in their hands; drew
open the Curtaines, and shewed the Bishop his Provoste, close snugging
betweene the armes of Ciutazza. Upon a sudden the Provoste awaked, and
seeing so great a light, as also so many people about him: shame and
feare so daunted him, that hee shrunke downe in the bed, and hid his
head. But the Bishop being displeased at a sight so unseemely, made
him to discover his head againe, to see whom he was in bed withall.
Now the poore Provoste perceiving the Gentlewomans deceite, and the
proper hansome person so sweetly embracing him: it made him so
confounded with shame, as he had not the power to utter one word:
but having put on his cloathes by the Bishops command, hee sent him
(under sufficient guard) to his Pallace, to suffer due chastisement
for his sinne committed; and afterward he desired to know, by what
meanes hee became so favoured of Ciutazza, the whole Historie whereof,
the two brethren related at large to him.
When the Bishop had heard all the discourse, highly he commended the
wisedome of the Gentlewoman, and worthy assistance of her brethren,
who contemning to soile their hands in the blood of a Priest, rather
sought to shame him as hee deserved. The Bishop enjoyned him a
pennance of repentance for forty dayes after, but love and disdaine
made him weepe nine and forty: Moreover, it was a long while after,
before he durst be seene abroad. But when he came to walke the
streets, the Boyes would point their fingers at him, saying. Behold
the Provoste that lay with Ciutazza: Which was such a wearisome life
to him, that he became (well neere) distracted in his wits. In this
manner the honest Gentlewoman discharged her dutie, and rid her
selfe of the Provosts importunity: Ciutazza had a merry night of it,
and a new Smocke also for her labour.
THE EIGHT DAY, THE FIFT NOVELL
GIVING ADMONITION, THAT FOR THE MANAGING OF PUBLIQUE AFFAIRES, NO
OTHER PERSONS ARE OR OUGHT TO BE APPOINTED, BUT SUCH AS BE HONEST,
AND MEET TO SIT ON THE SEATE OF AUTHORITY
Three pleasant Companions, plaide a merry pranke with a Judge
(belonging to the Marquesate of Ancona) at Florence, at such time as
he sate on the Bench, and hearing criminall causes.
No sooner had Madam Aemillia finished her Novell, wherin, the
excellent wisdome of Piccarda, for so worthily punishing the luxurious
old Provoste, had generall commendations of the whole Assembly: but
the Queene, looking on Philostratus, said. I command you next to
supply the place: whereto he made answere, that hee was both ready and
willing, and then thus began. Honourable Ladies, the merry
Gentleman, so lately remembred by Madame Eliza, being named Maso del
Saggio; causeth me to passe over an intended Tale, which I had
resolved on when it came to my turne: to report another concerning
him, and two men more, his friendly Companions. Which although it
may appeare to you somewhat unpleasing, in regard of a little grosse
and unmannerly behaviour: yet it will move merriment without any
offence, and that is the maine reason why I relate it.
It is not unknowne to you, partly by intelligence from our
reverend predecessours, as also some understanding of your owne,
that many time have resorted to our City of Florence, Potestates and
Officers, belonging to the Marquesate of Anconia; who commonly were
men of lowe spirit, and their lives so wretched and penurious, as they
rather deserved to be tearmed Misers, then men. And in regard of
this their naturall covetousnesse and misery, the Judges would bring
also in their company, such Scribes or Notaries, as being paralelde
with their Masters: they all seemed like Swaines come from the Plough,
or bred up in some Coblers quality, rather then Schollers, or Students
of Law.
At one time (above all the rest) among other Potestates and
Judges, there came an especiall man, as pickt out of purpose, who
was named Messer Niccolao da San Lepidio, who (at the first beholding)
looked rather like a Tinker, then any Officer in authority. This
hansome man (among the rest) was deputed to heare criminall causes.
And, as often it happeneth, that Citizens, although no businesse
inviteth them to Judiciall Courts, yet they still resort thither,
