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believed in. Whether or no the reserved and never-exercised power of

unbuttoning, fascinates mankind; whether or no wisdom is supposed to

condense and augment when buttoned up, and to evaporate when unbuttoned;

it is certain that the man to whom importance is accorded is the

buttoned-up man. Mr Tite Barnacle never would have passed for half his

current value, unless his coat had been always buttoned-up to his white

cravat.

'May I ask,' said Lord Decimus, 'if Mr Darrit--or Dorrit--has any

family?'

Nobody else replying, the host said, 'He has two daughters, my lord.'

'Oh! you are acquainted with him?' asked Lord Decimus.

'Mrs Merdle is. Mr Sparkler is, too. In fact,' said Mr Merdle, 'I rather

believe that one of the young ladies has made an impression on Edmund

Sparkler. He is susceptible, and--I--think--the conquest--' Here Mr

Merdle stopped, and looked at the table-cloth, as he usually did when he

found himself observed or listened to.

Bar was uncommonly pleased to find that the Merdle family, and this

family, had already been brought into contact. He submitted, in a low

voice across the table to Bishop, that it was a kind of analogical

illustration of those physical laws, in virtue of which Like flies to

Like. He regarded this power of attraction in wealth to draw wealth

to it, as something remarkably interesting and curious--something

indefinably allied to the loadstone and gravitation. Bishop, who

had ambled back to earth again when the present theme was broached,

acquiesced. He said it was indeed highly important to Society that one

in the trying situation of unexpectedly finding himself invested with a

power for good or for evil in Society, should become, as it were, merged

in the superior power of a more legitimate and more gigantic growth, the

influence of which (as in the case of our friend at whose board we sat)

was habitually exercised in harmony with the best interests of Society.

Thus, instead of two rival and contending flames, a larger and a lesser,

each burning with a lurid and uncertain glare, we had a blended and a

softened light whose genial ray diffused an equable warmth throughout

the land. Bishop seemed to like his own way of putting the case very

much, and rather dwelt upon it; Bar, meanwhile (not to throw away a

jury-man), making a show of sitting at his feet and feeding on his

precepts.

The dinner and dessert being three hours long, the bashful Member cooled

in the shadow of Lord Decimus faster than he warmed with food and drink,

and had but a chilly time of it. Lord Decimus, like a tall tower in a

flat country, seemed to project himself across the table-cloth, hide the

light from the honourable Member, cool the honourable Member's marrow,

and give him a woeful idea of distance. When he asked this unfortunate

traveller to take wine, he encompassed his faltering steps with the

gloomiest of shades; and when he said, 'Your health sir!' all around him

was barrenness and desolation.

At length Lord Decimus, with a coffee-cup in his hand, began to hover

about among the pictures, and to cause an interesting speculation to

arise in all minds as to the probabilities of his ceasing to hover, and

enabling the smaller birds to flutter up-stairs; which could not be

done until he had urged his noble pinions in that direction. After some

delay, and several stretches of his wings which came to nothing, he

soared to the drawing-rooms.

And here a difficulty arose, which always does arise when two people

are specially brought together at a dinner to confer with one another.

Everybody (except Bishop, who had no suspicion of it) knew perfectly

well that this dinner had been eaten and drunk, specifically to the end

that Lord Decimus and Mr Merdle should have five minutes' conversation

together. The opportunity so elaborately prepared was now arrived, and

it seemed from that moment that no mere human ingenuity could so much as

get the two chieftains into the same room. Mr Merdle and his noble guest

persisted in prowling about at opposite ends of the perspective. It was

in vain for the engaging Ferdinand to bring Lord Decimus to look at the

bronze horses near Mr Merdle. Then Mr Merdle evaded, and wandered away.

It was in vain for him to bring Mr Merdle to Lord Decimus to tell him

the history of the unique Dresden vases. Then Lord Decimus evaded and

wandered away, while he was getting his man up to the mark.

'Did you ever see such a thing as this?' said Ferdinand to Bar when he

had been baffled twenty times.

'Often,' returned Bar.

'Unless I butt one of them into an appointed corner, and you butt the

other,' said Ferdinand,'it will not come off after all.'

'Very good,' said Bar. 'I'll butt Merdle, if you like; but not my lord.'

Ferdinand laughed, in the midst of his vexation. 'Confound them both!'

said he, looking at his watch. 'I want to get away. Why the deuce can't

they come together! They both know what they want and mean to do. Look

at them!'

They were still looming at opposite ends of the perspective, each with

an absurd pretence of not having the other on his mind, which could not

have been more transparently ridiculous though his real mind had been

chalked on his back. Bishop, who had just now made a third with Bar and

Ferdinand, but whose innocence had again cut him out of the subject and

washed him in sweet oil, was seen to approach Lord Decimus and glide

into conversation.

'I must get Merdle's doctor to catch and secure him, I suppose,' said

Ferdinand; 'and then I must lay hold of my illustrious kinsman, and

decoy him if I can--drag him if I can't--to the conference.'

'Since you do me the honour,' said Bar, with his slyest smile, to ask

for my poor aid, it shall be yours with the greatest pleasure. I don't

think this is to be done by one man. But if you will undertake to pen

my lord into that furthest drawing-room where he is now so profoundly

engaged, I will undertake to bring our dear Merdle into the presence,

without the possibility of getting away.'

'Done!' said Ferdinand.

'Done!' said Bar.

Bar was a sight wondrous to behold, and full of matter, when, jauntily

waving his double eye-glass by its ribbon, and jauntily drooping to an

Universe of jurymen, he, in the most accidental manner ever seen,

found himself at Mr Merdle's shoulder, and embraced that opportunity of

mentioning a little point to him, on which he particularly wished to

be guided by the light of his practical knowledge. (Here he took Mr

Merdle's arm and walked him gently away.) A banker, whom we would call

A. B., advanced a considerable sum of money, which we would call fifteen

thousand pounds, to a client or customer of his, whom he would call P.

q. (Here, as they were getting towards Lord Decimus, he held Mr Merdle

tight.) As a security for the repayment of this advance to P. Q. whom

we would call a widow lady, there were placed in A. B.'s hands the

title-deeds of a freehold estate, which we would call Blinkiter Doddles.

Now, the point was this. A limited right of felling and lopping in

the woods of Blinkiter Doddles, lay in the son of P. Q. then past his

majority, and whom we would call X. Y.--but really this was too bad! In

the presence of Lord Decimus, to detain the host with chopping our dry

chaff of law, was really too bad! Another time! Bar was truly repentant,

and would not say another syllable. Would Bishop favour him with

half-a-dozen words? (He had now set Mr Merdle down on a couch, side by

side with Lord Decimus, and to it they must go, now or never.)

And now the rest of the company, highly excited and interested, always

excepting Bishop, who had not the slightest idea that anything was going

on, formed in one group round the fire in the next drawing-room, and

pretended to be chatting easily on the infinite variety of small topics,

while everybody's thoughts and eyes were secretly straying towards the

secluded pair. The Chorus were excessively nervous, perhaps as labouring

under the dreadful apprehension that some good thing was going to

be diverted from them! Bishop alone talked steadily and evenly. He

conversed with the great Physician on that relaxation of the throat with

which young curates were too frequently afflicted, and on the means

of lessening the great prevalence of that disorder in the church.

Physician, as a general rule, was of opinion that the best way to avoid

it was to know how to read, before you made a profession of reading.

Bishop said dubiously, did he really think so? And Physician said,

decidedly, yes he did.

Ferdinand, meanwhile, was the only one of the party who skirmished on

the outside of the circle; he kept about mid-way between it and the

two, as if some sort of surgical operation were being performed by Lord

Decimus on Mr Merdle, or by Mr Merdle on Lord Decimus, and his services

might at any moment be required as Dresser. In fact, within a quarter

of an hour Lord Decimus called to him 'Ferdinand!' and he went, and

took his place in the conference for some five minutes more. Then a

half-suppressed gasp broke out among the Chorus; for Lord Decimus rose

to take his leave. Again coached up by Ferdinand to the point of making

himself popular, he shook hands in the most brilliant manner with the

whole company, and even said to Bar, 'I hope you were not bored by my

pears?' To which Bar retorted, 'Eton, my lord, or Parliamentary?' neatly

showing that he had mastered the joke, and delicately insinuating that

he could never forget it while his life remained.

All the grave importance that was buttoned up in Mr Tite Barnacle, took

itself away next; and Ferdinand took himself away next, to the opera.

Some of the rest lingered a little, marrying golden liqueur glasses to

Buhl tables with sticky rings; on the desperate chance of Mr Merdle's

saying something. But Merdle, as usual, oozed sluggishly and muddily

about his drawing-room, saying never a word.

In a day or two it was announced to all the town, that Edmund Sparkler,

Esquire, son-in-law of the eminent Mr Merdle of worldwide renown, was

made one of the Lords of the Circumlocution Office; and proclamation was

issued, to all true believers, that this admirable appointment was to

be hailed as a graceful and gracious mark of homage, rendered by the

graceful and gracious Decimus, to that commercial interest which must

ever in a great commercial country--and all the rest of it, with

blast of trumpet. So, bolstered by this mark of Government homage, the

wonderful Bank and all the other wonderful undertakings went on and went

up; and gapers came to Harley Street, Cavendish Square, only to look at

the house where the golden wonder lived.

And when they saw the Chief Butler looking out at the hall-door in

his moments of condescension, the gapers said how rich he looked, and

wondered how much money he had in the wonderful Bank. But, if they had

known that respectable Nemesis better, they would not have wondered

about it, and might have stated the amount with the utmost precision.

CHAPTER 13. The Progress of an Epidemic

That it is at least as difficult to stay a moral infection as a physical

one; that such a disease will spread with the malignity and rapidity of

the Plague; that the contagion, when it has once made head, will spare

no pursuit or condition, but will lay hold on people in the soundest

health, and become developed in the most unlikely constitutions: is

a fact as firmly established by experience as that we human creatures

breathe an atmosphere. A blessing beyond appreciation would be conferred

upon mankind, if the tainted, in whose weakness or wickedness these

virulent disorders are bred, could be instantly seized and placed in

close confinement (not to say summarily smothered) before the poison is

communicable.

As a vast fire will fill the air to a great distance with its roar, so

the sacred flame which the mighty Barnacles had fanned caused the air to

resound more and more with the name of Merdle. It was deposited on every

lip, and carried into every ear. There never was, there never had

been, there never again should be, such a man as Mr Merdle. Nobody,

as aforesaid, knew what he had done; but everybody knew him to be the

greatest that had appeared.

Down in Bleeding Heart Yard, where there was not one unappropriated

halfpenny, as lively an interest was taken in this paragon of men as on

the Stock Exchange. Mrs Plornish, now established in the small grocery

and general trade in a snug little shop at the crack end of the Yard,

at the top of the steps, with her little old father and Maggy acting

as assistants, habitually held forth about him over the counter in

conversation with her customers. Mr Plornish, who had a small share in a

small builder's business in the neighbourhood, said, trowel in hand, on

the tops of scaffolds and on the tiles of houses, that people did tell

him as Mr Merdle was the one, mind you, to put us all to rights in

respects of that which all on us looked to, and to bring us all safe

home as much as we needed, mind you, fur toe be brought. Mr Baptist,

sole lodger of Mr and Mrs Plornish was reputed in whispers to lay by

the savings which were the result of his simple and moderate life,

for investment in one of Mr Merdle's certain enterprises. The female

Bleeding Hearts, when they came for ounces of tea, and hundredweights of

talk, gave Mrs Plornish to understand, That how, ma'am, they had heard

from their cousin Mary Anne, which worked in the line, that his lady's

dresses would fill three waggons. That how she was as handsome a lady,

ma'am, as lived, no matter wheres, and a busk like marble itself. That

how, according to what they was told, ma'am, it was her son by a former

husband as was took into the Government; and a General he had been, and

armies he had marched again and victory crowned, if all you heard was to

be believed. That how it was reported that Mr Merdle's words had been,