第 27 页

bars of wood which were reared against its walls, and had propped it up

so long that even they were decaying and yielding with their load, and

of a windy night might be heard to creak and crack as if the whole

fabric were about to come toppling down. The house stood--if anything

so old and feeble could be said to stand--on a piece of waste ground,

blighted with the unwholesome smoke of factory chimneys, and echoing

the clank of iron wheels and rush of troubled water. Its internal

accommodations amply fulfilled the promise of the outside. The rooms

were low and damp, the clammy walls were pierced with chinks and holes,

the rotten floors had sunk from their level, the very beams started

from their places and warned the timid stranger from their

neighbourhood.

To this inviting spot, entreating him to observe its beauties as they

passed along, Mr Quilp led Richard Swiveller, and on the table of the

summer-house, scored deep with many a gallows and initial letter, there

soon appeared a wooden keg, full of the vaunted liquor. Drawing it off

into the glasses with the skill of a practised hand, and mixing it with

about a third part of water, Mr Quilp assigned to Richard Swiveller his

portion, and lighting his pipe from an end of a candle in a very old

and battered lantern, drew himself together upon a seat and puffed away.

'Is it good?' said Quilp, as Richard Swiveller smacked his lips, 'is it

strong and fiery? Does it make you wink, and choke, and your eyes

water, and your breath come short--does it?'

'Does it?' cried Dick, throwing away part of the contents of his glass,

and filling it up with water, 'why, man, you don't mean to tell me that

you drink such fire as this?'

'No!' rejoined Quilp, 'Not drink it! Look here. And here. And here

again. Not drink it!'

As he spoke, Daniel Quilp drew off and drank three small glassfuls of

the raw spirit, and then with a horrible grimace took a great many

pulls at his pipe, and swallowing the smoke, discharged it in a heavy

cloud from his nose. This feat accomplished he drew himself together

in his former position, and laughed excessively.

'Give us a toast!' cried Quilp, rattling on the table in a dexterous

manner with his fist and elbow alternately, in a kind of tune, 'a

woman, a beauty. Let's have a beauty for our toast and empty our

glasses to the last drop. Her name, come!'

'If you want a name,' said Dick, 'here's Sophy Wackles.'

'Sophy Wackles,' screamed the dwarf, 'Miss Sophy Wackles that is--Mrs

Richard Swiveller that shall be--that shall be--ha ha ha!'

'Ah!' said Dick, 'you might have said that a few weeks ago, but it

won't do now, my buck. Immolating herself upon the shrine of Cheggs--'

'Poison Cheggs, cut Cheggs's ears off,' rejoined Quilp. 'I won't hear

of Cheggs. Her name is Swiveller or nothing. I'll drink her health

again, and her father's, and her mother's; and to all her sisters and

brothers--the glorious family of the Wackleses--all the Wackleses in

one glass--down with it to the dregs!'

'Well,' said Richard Swiveller, stopping short in the act of raising

the glass to his lips and looking at the dwarf in a species of stupor

as he flourished his arms and legs about: 'you're a jolly fellow, but

of all the jolly fellows I ever saw or heard of, you have the queerest

and most extraordinary way with you, upon my life you have.'

This candid declaration tended rather to increase than restrain Mr

Quilp's eccentricities, and Richard Swiveller, astonished to see him in

such a roystering vein, and drinking not a little himself, for

company--began imperceptibly to become more companionable and

confiding, so that, being judiciously led on by Mr Quilp, he grew at

last very confiding indeed. Having once got him into this mood, and

knowing now the key-note to strike whenever he was at a loss, Daniel

Quilp's task was comparatively an easy one, and he was soon in

possession of the whole details of the scheme contrived between the

easy Dick and his more designing friend.

'Stop!' said Quilp. 'That's the thing, that's the thing. It can be

brought about, it shall be brought about. There's my hand upon it; I

am your friend from this minute.'

'What! do you think there's still a chance?' inquired Dick, in surprise

at this encouragement.

'A chance!' echoed the dwarf, 'a certainty! Sophy Wackles may become a

Cheggs or anything else she likes, but not a Swiveller. Oh you lucky

dog! He's richer than any Jew alive; you're a made man. I see in you

now nothing but Nelly's husband, rolling in gold and silver. I'll help

you. It shall be done. Mind my words, it shall be done.'

'But how?' said Dick.

'There's plenty of time,' rejoined the dwarf, 'and it shall be done.

We'll sit down and talk it over again all the way through. Fill your

glass while I'm gone. I shall be back directly--directly.'

With these hasty words, Daniel Quilp withdrew into a dismantled skittle-

ground behind the public-house, and, throwing himself upon the ground

actually screamed and rolled about in uncontrollable delight.

'Here's sport!' he cried, 'sport ready to my hand, all invented and

arranged, and only to be enjoyed. It was this shallow-pated fellow who

made my bones ache t'other day, was it? It was his friend and

fellow-plotter, Mr Trent, that once made eyes at Mrs Quilp, and leered

and looked, was it? After labouring for two or three years in their

precious scheme, to find that they've got a beggar at last, and one of

them tied for life. Ha ha ha! He shall marry Nell. He shall have

her, and I'll be the first man, when the knot's tied hard and fast, to

tell 'em what they've gained and what I've helped 'em to. Here will be

a clearing of old scores, here will be a time to remind 'em what a

capital friend I was, and how I helped them to the heiress. Ha ha ha!'

In the height of his ecstasy, Mr Quilp had like to have met with a

disagreeable check, for rolling very near a broken dog-kennel, there

leapt forth a large fierce dog, who, but that his chain was of the

shortest, would have given him a disagreeable salute. As it was, the

dwarf remained upon his back in perfect safety, taunting the dog with

hideous faces, and triumphing over him in his inability to advance

another inch, though there were not a couple of feet between them.

'Why don't you come and bite me, why don't you come and tear me to

pieces, you coward?' said Quilp, hissing and worrying the animal till

he was nearly mad. 'You're afraid, you bully, you're afraid, you know

you are.'

The dog tore and strained at his chain with starting eyes and furious

bark, but there the dwarf lay, snapping his fingers with gestures of

defiance and contempt. When he had sufficiently recovered from his

delight, he rose, and with his arms a-kimbo, achieved a kind of

demon-dance round the kennel, just without the limits of the chain,

driving the dog quite wild. Having by this means composed his spirits

and put himself in a pleasant train, he returned to his unsuspicious

companion, whom he found looking at the tide with exceeding gravity,

and thinking of that same gold and silver which Mr Quilp had mentioned.

CHAPTER 22

The remainder of that day and the whole of the next were a busy time

for the Nubbles family, to whom everything connected with Kit's outfit

and departure was matter of as great moment as if he had been about to

penetrate into the interior of Africa, or to take a cruise round the

world. It would be difficult to suppose that there ever was a box

which was opened and shut so many times within four-and-twenty hours,

as that which contained his wardrobe and necessaries; and certainly

there never was one which to two small eyes presented such a mine of

clothing, as this mighty chest with its three shirts and proportionate

allowance of stockings and pocket-handkerchiefs, disclosed to the

astonished vision of little Jacob. At last it was conveyed to the

carrier's, at whose house at Finchley Kit was to find it next day; and

the box being gone, there remained but two questions for consideration:

firstly, whether the carrier would lose, or dishonestly feign to lose,

the box upon the road; secondly, whether Kit's mother perfectly

understood how to take care of herself in the absence of her son.

'I don't think there's hardly a chance of his really losing it, but

carriers are under great temptation to pretend they lose things, no

doubt,' said Mrs Nubbles apprehensively, in reference to the first

point.

'No doubt about it,' returned Kit, with a serious look; 'upon my word,

mother, I don't think it was right to trust it to itself. Somebody

ought to have gone with it, I'm afraid.'

'We can't help it now,' said his mother; 'but it was foolish and wrong.

People oughtn't to be tempted.'

Kit inwardly resolved that he would never tempt a carrier any more,

save with an empty box; and having formed this Christian determination,

he turned his thoughts to the second question.

'_You_ know you must keep up your spirits, mother, and not be lonesome

because I'm not at home. I shall very often be able to look in when I

come into town I dare say, and I shall send you a letter sometimes, and

when the quarter comes round, I can get a holiday of course; and then

see if we don't take little Jacob to the play, and let him know what

oysters means.'

'I hope plays mayn't be sinful, Kit, but I'm a'most afraid,' said Mrs

Nubbles.

'I know who has been putting that in your head,' rejoined her son

disconsolately; 'that's Little Bethel again. Now I say, mother, pray

don't take to going there regularly, for if I was to see your

good-humoured face that has always made home cheerful, turned into a

grievous one, and the baby trained to look grievous too, and to call

itself a young sinner (bless its heart) and a child of the devil (which

is calling its dead father names); if I was to see this, and see little

Jacob looking grievous likewise, I should so take it to heart that I'm

sure I should go and list for a soldier, and run my head on purpose

against the first cannon-ball I saw coming my way.'

'Oh, Kit, don't talk like that.'

'I would, indeed, mother, and unless you want to make me feel very

wretched and uncomfortable, you'll keep that bow on your bonnet, which

you'd more than half a mind to pull off last week. Can you suppose

there's any harm in looking as cheerful and being as cheerful as our

poor circumstances will permit? Do I see anything in the way I'm made,

which calls upon me to be a snivelling, solemn, whispering chap,

sneaking about as if I couldn't help it, and expressing myself in a

most unpleasant snuffle? on the contrary, don't I see every reason why

I shouldn't? just hear this! Ha ha ha! An't that as nat'ral as

walking, and as good for the health? Ha ha ha! An't that as nat'ral

as a sheep's bleating, or a pig's grunting, or a horse's neighing, or a

bird's singing? Ha ha ha! Isn't it, mother?'

There was something contagious in Kit's laugh, for his mother, who had

looked grave before, first subsided into a smile, and then fell to

joining in it heartily, which occasioned Kit to say that he knew it was

natural, and to laugh the more. Kit and his mother, laughing together

in a pretty loud key, woke the baby, who, finding that there was

something very jovial and agreeable in progress, was no sooner in its

mother's arms than it began to kick and laugh, most vigorously. This

new illustration of his argument so tickled Kit, that he fell backward

in his chair in a state of exhaustion, pointing at the baby and shaking

his sides till he rocked again. After recovering twice or thrice, and

as often relapsing, he wiped his eyes and said grace; and a very

cheerful meal their scanty supper was.

With more kisses, and hugs, and tears, than many young gentlemen who

start upon their travels, and leave well-stocked homes behind them,

would deem within the bounds of probability (if matter so low could be

herein set down), Kit left the house at an early hour next morning, and

set out to walk to Finchley; feeling a sufficient pride in his

appearance to have warranted his excommunication from Little Bethel

from that time forth, if he had ever been one of that mournful

congregation.

Lest anybody should feel a curiosity to know how Kit was clad, it may

be briefly remarked that he wore no livery, but was dressed in a coat

of pepper-and-salt with waistcoat of canary colour, and nether garments

of iron-grey; besides these glories, he shone in the lustre of a new

pair of boots and an extremely stiff and shiny hat, which on being

struck anywhere with the knuckles, sounded like a drum. And in this

attire, rather wondering that he attracted so little attention, and

attributing the circumstance to the insensibility of those who got up

early, he made his way towards Abel Cottage.

Without encountering any more remarkable adventure on the road, than

meeting a lad in a brimless hat, the exact counterpart of his old one,

on whom he bestowed half the sixpence he possessed, Kit arrived in

course of time at the carrier's house, where, to the lasting honour of

human nature, he found the box in safety. Receiving from the wife of

this immaculate man, a direction to Mr Garland's, he took the box upon

his shoulder and repaired thither directly.

To be sure, it was a beautiful little cottage with a thatched roof and

little spires at the gable-ends, and pieces of stained glass in some of