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People. A word with many meanings. (The American Heritage Dictionary, Third Edition, gives nine.) The people is a political term, not to be confused with the public. From the people comes political support or opposition; from the public comes artistic appreciation or commercial patronage.

The word people is best not used with words of number, in place of persons. If of "six people" five went away, how many people would be left? Answer: one people.

Personalize. A pretentious word, often carrying bad advice. Do not personalize your prose; simply make it good and keep it clean. See Chapter V, Reminder 1.

a highly personalized affair

a highly personal affair

Personalize your stationery.

Design a letterhead.

Personally. Often unnecessary.

Personally, I thought it was a good book.

I thought it a good book.

Possess. Often used because to the writer it sounds more impressive than have or own. Such usage is not incorrect but is to be guarded against.

She possessed great courage.

She had great courage (was very brave).

He was the fortunate possessor of

He was lucky enough to own

Presently. Has two meanings: "in a short while" and "currently." Because of this ambiguity it is best restricted to the first meaning: "She'll be here presently" ("soon," or "in a short time").

Prestigious. Often an adjective of last resort. It's in the dictionary, but that doesn't mean you have to use it.

Refer. See allude.

Regretful. Sometimes carelessly used for regrettable: "The mixup was due to a regretful breakdown in communications."

Relate. Not to be used intransitively to suggest rapport.

I relate well to Janet.

Janet and I see things the same way.

Janet and I have a lot in common.

Respective. Respectively. These words may usually be omitted with advantage.

Works of fiction are listed under the names of their respective authors.

Works of fiction are listed under the names of their authors.

The mile run and the two-mile run were won by Jones and Cummings respectively.

The mile run was won by Jones, the two-mile run by Cummings.

Secondly, thirdly, etc. Unless you are prepared to begin with firstly and defend it (which will be difficult), do not prettify numbers with -ly. Modern usage prefers second, third, and so on.

Shall. Will. In formal writing, the future tense requires shall for the first person, will for the second and third. The formula to express the speaker's belief regarding a future action or state is I shall; I will expresses determination or consent. A swimmer in distress cries, "I shall drown; no one will save me!" A suicide puts it the other way: "I will drown; no one shall save me!" In relaxed speech, however, the words shall and will are seldom used precisely; our ear guides us or fails to guide us, as the case may be, and we are quite likely to drown when we want to survive and survive when we want to drown.

So. Avoid, in writing, the use of so as an intensifier: "so good"; "so warm"; "so delightful."

Sort of. See kind of.

Split infinitive. There is precedent from the fourteenth century down for interposing an adverb between to and the infinitive it governs, but the construction should be avoided unless the writer wishes to place unusual stress on the adverb.

to diligently inquire

to inquire diligently

For another side to the split infinitive, see Chapter V, Reminder 14.

State. Not to be used as a mere substitute for say, remark. Restrict it to the sense of "express fully or clearly": "He refused to state his objections."

Student body. Nine times out of ten a needless and awkward expression, meaning no more than the simple word students.

a member of the student body

a student

popular with the student body

liked by the students

Than. Any sentence with than (to express comparison) should be examined to make sure no essential words are missing.

I'm probably closer to my mother than my father. (Ambiguous.)

I'm probably closer to my mother than to my father.

I'm probably closer to my mother than my father is.

It looked more like a cormorant than a heron.

It looked more like a cormorant than like a heron.

Thanking you in advance. This sounds as if the writer meant, "It will not be worth my while to write to you again." In making your request, write "Will you please," or "I shall be obliged." Then, later, if you feel moved to do so, or if the circumstances call for it, write a letter of acknowledgment.

That. Which. That is the defining, or restrictive, pronoun, which the nondefining, or nonrestrictive. (See Rule 3.)

The lawn mower that is broken is in the garage. (Tells which one.)

The lawn mower, which is broken, is in the garage. (Adds a fact about the only mower in question.)

The use of which for that is common in written and spoken language ("Let us now go even unto Bethlehem, and see this thing which is come to pass."). Occasionally which seems preferable to that, as in the sentence from the Bible. But it would be a convenience to all if these two pronouns were used with precision. Careful writers, watchful for small conveniences, go which-hunting, remove the defining whiches, and by so doing improve their work.

The foreseeable future. A cliche, and a fuzzy one. How much of the future is foreseeable? Ten minutes? Ten years? Any of it? By whom is it foreseeable? Seers? Experts? Everybody?

The truth. is.... The fact is.... A bad beginning for a sentence. If you feel you are possessed of the truth, or of the fact, simply state it. Do not give it advance billing.

They. He or She. Do not use they when the antecedent is a distributive expression such as each, each one, everybody, every one, many a man. Use the singular pronoun.

Every one of us knows they are fallible.

Every one of us knows he is fallible.

Everyone in the community, whether they are a member of the Association or not, is invited to attend.

Everyone in the community, whether he is a member of the Association or not, is invited to attend.

A similar fault is the use of the plural pronoun with the antecedent anybody, somebody, someone, the intention being either to avoid the awkward he or she or to avoid committing oneself to one or the other. Some bashful speakers even say, "A friend of mine told me that they...."

The use of he as a pronoun for nouns embracing both genders is a simple, practical convention rooted in the beginnings of the English language. Currently, however, many writers find the use of the generic he or his to rename indefinite antecedents limiting or offensive. Substituting he or she in its place is the logical thing to do if it works. But it often doesn't work, if only because repetition makes it sound boring or silly.

Consider these strategies to avoid an awkward overuse of he or she or an unintentional emphasis on the masculine:

Use the plural rather than the singular.

The writer must address his readers' concerns.

Writers must address their readers' concerns.

Eliminate the pronoun altogether.

The writer must address his readers' concerns.

The writer must address readers' concerns.

Substitute the second person for the third person.

The writer must address his readers' concerns.

As a writer, you must address your readers' concerns.

No one need fear to use he if common sense supports it. If you think she is a handy substitute for he, try it and see what happens. Alternatively, put all controversial nouns in the plural and avoid the choice of sex altogether, although you may find your prose sounding general and diffuse as a result.

This. The pronoun this, referring to the complete sense of a preceding sentence or clause, can't always carry the load and so may produce an imprecise statement.

Visiting dignitaries watched yesterday as ground was broken for the new high-energy physics laboratory with a blowout safety wall. This is the first visible evidence of the university's plans for modernization and expansion.

Visiting dignitaries watched yesterday as ground was broken for the new high-energy physics laboratory with a blowout safety wall. The ceremony afforded the first visible evidence of the university's plans for modernization and expansion.

In the lefthand example above, this does not immediately make clear what the first visible evidence is.

Thrust. This showy noun, suggestive of power, hinting of sex, is the darling of executives, politicos, and speech-writers. Use it sparingly. Save it for specific application.

Our reorganization plan has a tremendous thrust.

The piston has a five-inch thrust.

The thrust of his letter was that he was working more hours than he'd bargained for.

The point he made in his letter was that he was working more hours than he'd bargained for.

Tortuous. Torturous. A winding road is tortuous, a painful ordeal is torturous. Both words carry the idea of "twist," the twist having been a form of torture.

Transpire. Not to be used in the sense of "happen," "come to pass." Many writers so use it (usually when groping toward imagined elegance), but their usage finds little support in the Latin "breathe across or through." It is correct, however, in the sense of "become known." "Eventually, the grim account of his villainy transpired" (literally, "leaked through or out").

Try. Takes the infinitive: "try to mend it," not "try and mend it." Students of the language will argue that try and has won through and become idiom. Indeed it has, and it is relaxed and acceptable. But try to is precise, and when you are writing formal prose, try and write try to.

Type. Not a synonym for kind of. The examples below are common vulgarisms.

that type employee

that kind of employee

I dislike that type publicity.

I dislike that kind of publicity.

small, homelike hotels

a new type plane

a new type plane

a plane of a new design (new kind)

Unique. Means "without like or equal." Hence, there can be no degrees of uniqueness.

It was the most unique coffee maker on the market.

It was a unique coffee maker.

The balancing act was very unique.

The balancing act was unique.

Of all the spiders, the one that lives in a bubble under water is the most unique.

Among spiders, the one that lives in a bubble under water is unique.

Utilize. Prefer use.

I utilized the facilities.

I used the toilet.

He utilized the dishwasher.

He used the dishwasher.

Verbal. Sometimes means "word for word" and in this sense may refer to something expressed in writing. Oral (from Latin os, "mouth") limits the meaning to what is transmitted by speech. Oral agreement is more precise than verbal agreement.

Very. Use this word sparingly. Where emphasis is necessary, use words strong in themselves.

While. Avoid the indiscriminate use of this word for and, but, and although. Many writers use it frequently as a substitute for and or but, either from a mere desire to vary the connective or from doubt about which of the two connectives is more appropriate. In this use it is best replaced by a semicolon.

The office and salesrooms are on the ground floor, while the rest of the building is used for manufacturing.

The office and salesrooms are on the ground floor; the rest of the building is used for manufacturing.

Its use as a virtual equivalent of although is allowable in sentences where this leads to no ambiguity or absurdity.

While I admire his energy, I wish it were employed in a better cause.

This is entirely correct, as shown by the paraphrase

I admire his energy; at the same time, I wish it were employed in a better cause.

Compare:

While the temperature reaches 90 or 95 degrees in the daytime, the nights are often chilly.

The paraphrase shows why the use of while is incorrect:

The temperature reaches 90 or 95 degrees in the daytime; at the same time the nights are often chilly.

In general, the writer will do well to use while only with strict literalness, in the sense of "during the time that."

-wise. Not to be used indiscriminately as a pseudosuffix: taxwise, pricewise, marriagewise, prosewise, saltwater taffy-wise. Chiefly useful when it means "in the manner of: clockwise. There is not a noun in the language to which -wise cannot be added if the spirit moves one to add it. The sober writer will abstain from the use of this wild additive.

Worth while. Overworked as a term of vague approval and (with not) of disapproval. Strictly applicable only to actions: "Is it worth while to telegraph?"

His books are not worth while.

His books are not worth reading (are not worth one's while to read; do not repay reading).

The adjective worthwhile (one word) is acceptable but emaciated. Use a stronger word.

a worthwhile project

a promising (useful, valuable, exciting) project

Would. Commonly used to express habitual or repeated action. ("He would get up early and prepare his own breakfast before he went to work.") But when the idea of habit or repetition is expressed, in such phrases as once a year, every day, each Sunday, the past tense, without would, is usually sufficient, and, from its brevity, more emphatic.

Once a year he would visit the old mansion.

Once a year he visited the old mansion.

In narrative writing, always indicate the transition from the general to the particular — that is, from sentences that merely state a general habit to those that express the action of a specific day or period. Failure to indicate the change will cause confusion.

Townsend would get up early and prepare his own breakfast. If the day was cold, he filled the stove and had a warm fire burning before he left the house. On his way out to the garage, he noticed that there were footprints in the new-fallen snow on the porch.

The reader is lost, having received no signal that Townsend has changed from a mere man of habit to a man who has seen a particular thing on a particular day.

Townsend would get up early and prepare his own breakfast. If the day was cold, he filled the stove and had a warm fire burning before he left the house. One morning in January, on his way out to the garage, he noticed footprints in the new-fallen snow on the porch.

V

An Approach to Style (With a List of Reminders)