But against his taking this step, which he still felt to be acontemptible relinquishment of present work, a guilty turning aside fromwhat was a real and might be a widening channel for worthy activity, tostart again without any justified destination, there was this obstacle, thatthe purchaser, if procurable at all, might not be quickly forthcoming.And afterwards? Rosamond in a poor lodging, though in the largest cityor most distant town, would not find the life that could save her fromgloom, and save him from the reproach of having plunged her into it. Forwhen a man is at the foot of the hill in his fortunes, he may stay a longwhile there in spite of professional accomplishment. In the Britishclimate there is no incompatibility between scientific insight andfurnished lodgings: the incompatibility is chiefly between scientificambition and a wife who objects to that kind of residence.
But in the midst of his hesitation, opportunity came to decide him. Anote from Mr. Bulstrode requested Lydgate to call on him at the Bank. Ahypochondriacal tendency had shown itself in the banker's constitutionof late; and a lack of sleep, which was really only a slight exaggeration ofan habitual dyspeptic symptom, had been dwelt on by him as a sign ofthreatening insanity. He wanted to consult Lydgate without delay on thatparticular morning, although he had nothing to tell beyond what he hadtold before. He listened eagerly to what Lydgate had to say in dissipationof his fears, though this too was only repetition; and this moment inwhich Bulstrode was receiving a medical opinion with a sense of comfort,seemed to make the communication of a personal need to him easierthan it had been in Lydgate's contemplation beforehand. He had beeninsisting that it would be well for Mr. Bulstrode to relax his attention tobusiness.
"One sees how any mental strain, however slight, may affect adelicate frame," said Lydgate at that stage of the consultation when theremarks tend to pass from the personal to the general, "by the deepstamp which anxiety will make for a time even on the young andvigorous. I am naturally very strong; yet I have been thoroughly shakenlately by an accumulation of trouble."
"I presume that a constitution in the susceptible state in which mineat present is, would be especially liable to fall a victim to cholera, if itvisited our district. And since its appearance near London, we may wellbesiege the Mercy-seat for our protection," said Mr. Bulstrode, notintending to evade Lydgate's allusion, but really preoccupied with alarmsabout himself.
"You have at all events taken your share in using good practicalprecautions for the town, and that is the best mode of asking forprotection," said Lydgate, with a strong distaste for the broken metaphorand bad logic of the banker's religion, somewhat increased by theapparent deafness of his sympathy. But his mind had taken up its long-prepared movement towards getting help, and was not yet arrested. Headded, "The town has done well in the way of cleansing, and findingappliances; and I think that if the cholera should come, even our enemieswill admit that the arrangements in the Hospital are a public good."
"Truly," said Mr. Bulstrode, with some coldness. "With regard towhat you say, Mr. Lydgate, about the relaxation of my mental labor, Ihave for some time been entertaining a purpose to that effect—a purposeof a very decided character. I contemplate at least a temporarywithdrawal from the management of much business, whether benevolentor commercial. Also I think of changing my residence for a time:probably I shall close or let 'The Shrubs,' and take some place near thecoast—under advice of course as to salubrity. That would be a measurewhich you would recommend?"
"Oh yes," said Lydgate, falling backward in his chair, with ill-repressed impatience under the banker's pale earnest eyes and intensepreoccupation with himself.
"I have for some time felt that I should open this subject with you inrelation to our Hospital," continued Bulstrode. "Under the circumstancesI have indicated, of course I must cease to have any personal share in themanagement, and it is contrary to my views of responsibility to continuea large application of means to an institution which I cannot watch overand to some extent regulate. I shall therefore, in case of my ultimatedecision to leave Middlemarch, consider that I withdraw other support tothe New Hospital than that which will subsist in the fact that I chieflysupplied the expenses of building it, and have contributed further largesums to its successful working."
Lydgate's thought, when Bulstrode paused according to his wont,was, "He has perhaps been losing a good deal of money." This was themost plausible explanation of a speech which had caused rather astartling change in his expectations. He said in reply—
"The loss to the Hospital can hardly be made up, I fear."
"Hardly," returned Bulstrode, in the same deliberate, silvery tone;"except by some changes of plan. The only person who may be certainlycounted on as willing to increase her contributions is Mrs. Casaubon. Ihave had an interview with her on the subject, and I have pointed out toher, as I am about to do to you, that it will be desirable to win a moregeneral support to the New Hospital by a change of system." Anotherpause, but Lydgate did not speak.
"The change I mean is an amalgamation with the Infirmary, so thatthe New Hospital shall be regarded as a special addition to the elderinstitution, having the same directing board. It will be necessary, also,that the medical management of the two shall be combined. In this wayany difficulty as to the adequate maintenance of our new establishmentwill be removed; the benevolent interests of the town will cease to bedivided."
Mr. Bulstrode had lowered his eyes from Lydgate's face to thebuttons of his coat as he again paused.
"No doubt that is a good device as to ways and means," said Lydgate,with an edge of irony in his tone. "But I can't be expected to rejoice in itat once, since one of the first results will be that the other medical menwill upset or interrupt my methods, if it were only because they aremine."
"I myself, as you know, Mr. Lydgate, highly valued the opportunityof new and independent procedure which you have diligently employed:the original plan, I confess, was one which I had much at heart, undersubmission to the Divine Will. But since providential indications demanda renunciation from me, I renounce."
Bulstrode showed a rather exasperating ability in this conversation.The broken metaphor and bad logic of motive which had stirred hishearer's contempt were quite consistent with a mode of putting the factswhich made it difficult for Lydgate to vent his own indignation anddisappointment. After some rapid reflection, he only asked—
"What did Mrs. Casaubon say?"
"That was the further statement which I wished to make to you," saidBulstrode, who had thoroughly prepared his ministerial explanation. "Sheis, you are aware, a woman of most munificent disposition, and happilyin possession—not I presume of great wealth, but of funds which she canwell spare. She has informed me that though she has destined the chiefpart of those funds to another purpose, she is willing to considerwhether she cannot fully take my place in relation to the Hospital. Butshe wishes for ample time to mature her thoughts on the subject, and Ihave told her that there is no need for haste—that, in fact, my own plansare not yet absolute."
Lydgate was ready to say, "If Mrs. Casaubon would take your place,there would be gain, instead of loss." But there was still a weight on hismind which arrested this cheerful candor. He replied, "I suppose, then,that I may enter into the subject with Mrs. Casaubon."
"Precisely; that is what she expressly desires. Her decision, she says,will much depend on what you can tell her. But not at present: she is, Ibelieve, just setting out on a journey. I have her letter here," said Mr.Bulstrode, drawing it out, and reading from it. "'I am immediatelyotherwise engaged,' she says. 'I am going into Yorkshire with Sir Jamesand Lady Chettam; and the conclusions I come to about some land whichI am to see there may affect my power of contributing to the Hospital.'Thus, Mr. Lydgate, there is no haste necessary in this matter; but Iwished to apprise you beforehand of what may possibly occur."
Mr. Bulstrode returned the letter to his side-pocket, and changed hisattitude as if his business were closed. Lydgate, whose renewed hopeabout the Hospital only made him more conscious of the facts whichpoisoned his hope, felt that his effort after help, if made at all, must bemade now and vigorously.
"I am much obliged to you for giving me full notice," he said, with afirm intention in his tone, yet with an interruptedness in his deliverywhich showed that he spoke unwillingly. "The highest object to me is myprofession, and I had identified the Hospital with the best use I can atpresent make of my profession. But the best use is not always the samewith monetary success. Everything which has made the Hospitalunpopular has helped with other causes—I think they are all connectedwith my professional zeal—to make me unpopular as a practitioner. I getchiefly patients who can't pay me. I should like them best, if I hadnobody to pay on my own side." Lydgate waited a little, but Bulstrodeonly bowed, looking at him fixedly, and he went on with the sameinterrupted enunciation—as if he were biting an objectional leek.
"I have slipped into money difficulties which I can see no way out of,unless some one who trusts me and my future will advance me a sumwithout other security. I had very little fortune left when I came here. Ihave no prospects of money from my own family. My expenses, inconsequence of my marriage, have been very much greater than I hadexpected. The result at this moment is that it would take a thousandpounds to clear me. I mean, to free me from the risk of having all mygoods sold in security of my largest debt—as well as to pay my otherdebts—and leave anything to keep us a little beforehand with our smallincome. I find that it is out of the question that my wife's father shouldmake such an advance. That is why I mention my position to—to theonly other man who may be held to have some personal connection withmy prosperity or ruin."
Lydgate hated to hear himself. But he had spoken now, and hadspoken with unmistakable directness. Mr. Bulstrode replied withouthaste, but also without hesitation.
"I am grieved, though, I confess, not surprised by this information,Mr. Lydgate. For my own part, I regretted your alliance with my brother-in-law's family, which has always been of prodigal habits, and which hasalready been much indebted to me for sustainment in its presentposition. My advice to you, Mr. Lydgate, would be, that instead ofinvolving yourself in further obligations, and continuing a doubtfulstruggle, you should simply become a bankrupt."
"That would not improve my prospect," said Lydgate, rising andspeaking bitterly, "even if it were a more agreeable thing in itself."
"It is always a trial," said Mr. Bulstrode; "but trial, my dear sir, is ourportion here, and is a needed corrective. I recommend you to weigh theadvice I have given."
"Thank you," said Lydgate, not quite knowing what he said. "I haveoccupied you too long. Good-day."
CHAPTER LXVIII.
"What suit of grace hath Virtue to put on
If Vice shall wear as good, and do as well?
If Wrong, if Craft, if Indiscretion
Act as fair parts with ends as laudable?
Which all this mighty volume of events
The world, the universal map of deeds,
Strongly controls, and proves from all descents,
That the directest course still best succeeds.
For should not grave and learn'd Experience
That looks with the eyes of all the world beside,
And with all ages holds intelligence,
Go safer than Deceit without a guide!
—DANIEL: Musophilus.
That change of plan and shifting of interest which Bulstrode statedor betrayed in his conversation with Lydgate, had been determined inhim by some severe experience which he had gone through since theepoch of Mr. Larcher's sale, when Raffles had recognized Will Ladislaw,and when the banker had in vain attempted an act of restitution whichmight move Divine Providence to arrest painful consequences.
His certainty that Raffles, unless he were dead, would return toMiddlemarch before long, had been justified. On Christmas Eve he hadreappeared at The Shrubs. Bulstrode was at home to receive him, andhinder his communication with the rest of the family, but he could notaltogether hinder the circumstances of the visit from compromisinghimself and alarming his wife. Raffles proved more unmanageable thanhe had shown himself to be in his former appearances, his chronic stateof mental restlessness, the growing effect of habitual intemperance,quickly shaking off every impression from what was said to him. Heinsisted on staying in the house, and Bulstrode, weighing two sets ofevils, felt that this was at least not a worse alternative than his goinginto the town. He kept him in his own room for the evening and saw himto bed, Raffles all the while amusing himself with the annoyance he wascausing this decent and highly prosperous fellow-sinner, an amusementwhich he facetiously expressed as sympathy with his friend's pleasure inentertaining a man who had been serviceable to him, and who had nothad all his earnings. There was a cunning calculation under this noisyjoking—a cool resolve to extract something the handsomer fromBulstrode as payment for release from this new application of torture.But his cunning had a little overcast its mark.
Bulstrode was indeed more tortured than the coarse fibre of Rafflescould enable him to imagine. He had told his wife that he was simplytaking care of this wretched creature, the victim of vice, who mightotherwise injure himself; he implied, without the direct form offalsehood, that there was a family tie which bound him to this care, andthat there were signs of mental alienation in Raffles which urged caution.He would himself drive the unfortunate being away the next morning. Inthese hints he felt that he was supplying Mrs. Bulstrode withprecautionary information for his daughters and servants, andaccounting for his allowing no one but himself to enter the room evenwith food and drink. But he sat in an agony of fear lest Raffles should beoverheard in his loud and plain references to past facts—lest Mrs.Bulstrode should be even tempted to listen at the door. How could hehinder her, how betray his terror by opening the door to detect her? Shewas a woman of honest direct habits, and little likely to take so low acourse in order to arrive at painful knowledge; but fear was strongerthan the calculation of probabilities.
