'Let's go for a walk, shall we?' he said.
'Arright!' They were speaking in whispers. 'You go into the road through the passage, an' I'll go by the street.'
'Yus, thet's right,' and kissing her once more, he slid out, and she closed the door behind him.
Then going back to get her hat, she came again into the passage, waiting behind the door till it might be safe for her to venture. She had not made up her mind to risk it, when she heard a key put in the lock, and she hardly had time to spring back to prevent herself from being hit by the opening door. It was a man, one of the upstairs lodgers.
''Ulloa!' he said, ''oo's there?'
'Mr. 'Odges! Strikes me, you did give me a turn; I was just goin' aht.' She blushed to her hair, but in the darkness he could see nothing.
'Good night,' she said, and went out.
She walked close along the sides of the houses like a thief, and the policeman as she passed him turned round and looked at her, wondering whether she was meditating some illegal deed. She breathed freely on coming into the open road, and seeing Jim skulking behind a tree, ran up to him, and in the shadows they kissed again.
肯普太太惯常在星期天的早晨昏昏沉沉地睡大觉,否则也不会让丽莎这样尽睡着。
丽莎醒来,揉揉眼睛,清一清头脑,渐渐记起了头夜到戏院看戏的事,接着一切全都闪现在眼前。
她伸了伸腿,喜悦地深深叹息一声。她心潮如涌;她想着吉姆,沉浸在爱情的迷人的快感中。她闭着眼睛,想象他的火热的吻,她举起臂膀,仿佛要揽住他的脖子,使他俯下身子挨近她。她几乎感觉到他粗硬的胡子贴在她脸上,坚实的臂膊搂抱着她的身体。
她自己笑笑,痛快地透了口气。于是她撩起睡衣的袖子,看看自己瘦削的手臂,就只两根骨头,没有一点肌肉,然而非常白嫩,一根根交叉的青色的血管看得清清楚楚。她没有注意到自己的手很粗,又红又脏,指甲有的坏了,有的被她咬到了指尖的活肉。
她爬下床来,在壁炉架上的镜子里自己照照,一只手把头发往后掠了掠,对着自己微笑。她的面庞是小小的,而且很瘦,可是她的面色可好,白嫩清秀,两颊微微泛红,一双大眼睛同她的头发一样乌黑。她感到非常快活。
她不想就换衣服,而要坐下随心想想,所以她把头发盘起一个小结子.在睡衣外面套上条裙子,在近窗口的一张椅子上坐下,朝室内四面看看。
房间的壁炉架上主要的装饰品是一只生梨、一只苹果、一只菠萝、一串葡萄和几个肥硕的李子,全都是蜡制的,做得很好看I那是这个最昌盛的王朝注中期的时兴玩意。它们颜色逼真:苹果象涨红的脸,葡萄象墨水的蓝黑色,衬托着几瓣翠绿的叶子,整个这一堆水果搁在一个覆着黑丝绒的乌木座子上,上面罩着红色长毛绒镶边的漂亮的玻璃罩子,不让沾上灰尘。丽莎盯着这看,十分欣赏,菠萝使她看得淌口水。
壁炉架的两旁是两只桃红色的大花瓶,几朵蓝色的花朵朝着外面I近瓶口处描着一圈金色的美术字:“一片情谊”。这两个花瓶倒有古董的艺术味儿。中间的位置上放着些杯盘和小花瓶——里面是金色的,外面是画的城市风景,边上一圈写着“克拉克顿注精制礼品”,有的还藏个韵,写着“马盖特注海滨纪念品”。这些东西,有的已经破损,但是用胶水粘补好的,不过大家知道,在鉴赏家眼里,陶器上有一、两道裂痕是丝毫无损其价值的。
此外就是数不清的肖像——一张张明信片那么大的黄色的小照片,镶着丝绒框子,有的还用贝壳作装饰,照片上有穿着老式服装的怪样的男人们,有紧身围腰和袖子裹紧在身上的女人们。那些女人都面孔铁板,头发在正中央分开,贴牢在两边,下颔和嘴巴都显得很坚定,眼睛小得象猪眼睛,脸上皱纹密布。男人们穿着怪不舒服的节日穿的新衣裳,做着僵硬和尴尬的姿势,两鬓留着一大蓬络腮胡子,面颊和上嘴唇剃得光光的,他们给人以饱经风霜的印象。
还有一、两张银版照相,是小小的全身像,金纸镶边。一张是肯普太太父亲的像,一张是肯普太太母亲的像。再就是几张订婚照和结婚照,女的坐着,男的站在她后面,手搁在椅背上,或者是男的坐着,女的手搭在他肩上。
这些照相,有的竖在壁炉架上,有的挂在炉架顶上,有的挂在墙上,有的挂在床头;照相上的人们永远固定在他们僵硬而不舒服的状态,从各个角度面一直注视着这间房间。
墙上糊着灰暗陈旧的墙纸,上面还点缀些圣诞特刊上剪下来的图画。有一张是很富有爱国精神的,一个士兵一面跟一个倒下的伙伴握手诀别,一面怒对一伙冲来的阿拉伯人挥着臂膊;一张是《樱桃园熟图》,日久尘染,几乎已经变成黑黑的了;还有两份几年前的旧年历,一份上面是洛恩侯爵注的彩色画像,极其漂亮而华贵,是肯普太太丈夫故后的爱之所钟;另一份上面是维多利亚女王在位六十周年庆典时的画像,可惜由于丽莎一时无礼,在女王脸上用木炭画了一簇小胡子,多少有损尊严。
室内的家具有一只脸盆架,一张松板五斗橱,这是兼当餐具柜的,凡是壁炉前面放不下的瓶瓶罐罐都往这上面放。此外,除了那张床,就剩两只烧火椅子和一盏灯。
丽莎瞧着这一切,十分满意。
她在高贵的侯爵像的一个角上钉上一根别针,不让它掉下来,又随手把那些小摆设弄弄整齐,然后她自己开始梳头洗脸。
她穿好衣服,吃了些黄油面包,一口吞了一碗冷茶,出门到街上去了。
她看见几个男孩子在打板球,就走到他们跟前。
“我来打,”她说。
“好,丽莎,”六七个孩子开心地叫道。队长接着说,“你到灯杆那边去守外场。”
“守你的魂!”丽莎气呼呼地说。“我打板球,总是当击球手的。”
“不,你不能总是当击球手。你当了我当什么?”队长回答说。他已经利用自己的身份,把自己先排进去,一直在场内。
“好,那我就不打,”丽莎说。
“得了,欧尼,让她进场!”队里两、三个队员嚷道。
“哼,该死!”队长说,把他的球棒给了丽莎。“我可以打赌,你场内待不长,”说着,他叫原来的投球手去守外场,他自己拿起了球。他是少年绅士,不肯过分退让的。
“出场!”当球飞过丽莎的球棒,打进了当作球门的一堆衣服里时,六、七个声音同时叫喊。队长跑上前来,要重当击球手,但是丽莎不把球棒给他。
“去!”她说;“这只是练球,不能算。”
“你没说过练球,”他恼火地回答。
“说过,我说过,”丽莎说;“我说的时候,正好球来r 说得轻了些。”
“哼,该死!”队长又是这么说。
就在那个时候,丽莎在旁边观看的人丛中看到了汤姆。那天早晨,她正对世界上的一切都感到亲切,所以就朝他叫喊起来一一
“喂,汤姆!”她说。“你来投球;那个家伙不行。”
“不,好歹我把你打出场了,”那个家伙说。
“呀,要是正式比赛,你休想把我打出场。而这是一次练球——练球的球可谁也说不准。”
汤姆开始非常缓慢而且平稳地投球,因此丽莎能挥舞球棒狠狠地击球;而且她连续得分,气喘吁吁地打到了二十分。这时候外场员们提出意见了——
“喂,喂,他尽给她投下手球,根本不想把她打出场。”
“你在破坏我们的比赛。”
“我不管I反正我得了二十分——这就比你们谁都强。现在我自动出场,就这样!来,汤姆。”
汤姆到她身边。队长重新拿起他的球棒。比赛继续进行。丽莎和汤姆开始聊起天来,丽莎靠在一幢房子的墙上,汤姆站在她面前欢乐地微笑着。
“你这一阵子躲到哪儿去了,汤姆?我不知多久没看见你了。”
“我还是象平时一样常在街上逛逛;你不看见我,我倒总看见你。”
“你看见我,也该过来招呼一声。”
“我不愿硬叫自己缠着你,丽莎。”
“去你的:你真是个莫名其妙的怪人!”
“我想你不喜欢我缠着你,所以我避开些。”
“啊,你这样说,好象我不喜欢你似的。要是我不喜欢你,我会跟你一起出去野餐狂欢吗?”
丽莎实在是极不老实,不过今天早晨她爱整个世界,当然汤姆也在其中。
她非常亲切地瞧着他,他感动得只觉得有一大块什么塞住了他的喉咙,说不出话来。
丽莎的目光转向吉姆住的房子,看见门口走出一个和她差不多年龄的姑娘;她觉得她长得有点象吉姆。
“哎,汤姆,”她问,“那个是不是布莱克斯顿的女儿?”
“是的,正是。”
“我去跟她说几句话,”丽莎说着,就丢下汤姆,跑了过去。
“你是波莉•布莱克斯顿,是不是?’’她说。
“我是!”那姑娘说。
“我一看就知道你是的。你爸爸,他对我说,“你不认识我女儿波莉吗?’他说。‘不,’我说,‘我不认识。,
“‘哎,’他说,‘你一看见她,就看出来了。’真的,我一看就看出来了。”
“我妈说我完全象爸爸,一点不象她。我爸说幸亏没有倒个头,否则他要离婚了。”
她们俩都笑了。
“你这会上哪儿去?”丽莎问,看她手里捧着那只倒茶脚的盘子。
“我就到大街上去买点冰淇淋,吃饭时候吃。我爸昨夜交好运,他说的,所以今天吃饭时候请我们大家吃冰淇淋。”
“我同你一起去,好不好?”
“好,走!”
她们一下就成了朋友,手挽手地向威斯敏斯特桥大道走去。她们一路走到一家意大利人开的卖这东西的铺子,她们先各人尝了尝味道之后,波莉拿出六个便士,让她的那个盘子给装厂满满的一盘红色和白色混在一起、看上去象是有毒的冰淇淋。
在回家的路上,波莉朝前一看,叫道——
“我爸来了!”
丽莎的心怦怦地跳起来,激动得脸也红了。但是突然感到一阵羞耻,她沉倒了头,尽量不要看见他。她说——
“我要回家去看看我妈怎么样。”波莉还没来得及答话,她已经一溜烟跑进了自己屋里。
她妈正觉得不舒服。
“你到底来啦,你这——,你!’’肯普太太看见丽莎进来,大吼大叫。
“怎么样,妈?”
“怎么样!我这样子——你说怎么样!随你怎么样,你要怎么样就怎么样!好哇,你这样对待我这样个老太婆一一还是你自己的母亲呢!”
“出了什么事?’’
“别跟我说话;我不要听你说。你把我一个人丢在家里,又是我的风湿,又是神经痛!我今天一个早晨一直神经痛,头简直要裂开来,我想头颅骨会一裂两爿,脑浆会流了一地。我醒来的时候,没有人给我弄杯茶,我躺在床上尽是等着、等着,到头来还得自己爬起来弄。而我的头简直痛得要我的命!还有,炉子里点着火,我睡着,活活烧死也不知道。”
“对不起,妈,不过我只出去了一刻工夫,想不到你会醒的。
而且炉子没生火。”
“去你的!我从来没有这样对待我的妈。啊,你真是个没良心的女儿——我肚子里有你的时候最难过,所有其他孩子加起来也没有使我那么难过。你生下来的时候,我苦透,你生下来以后.我一直为你吃尽苦头,现在我老了,一生做得筋疲力尽了,你却丢下我不管,让我去饿死、烧死。”说到这里,她放声大哭,其余的话都淹没在抽噎之中。
黄昏进入夜晚,肯普太太跟那些小鸟一样静下来休息了。
丽莎头脑里想着许多事情,她想为什么今天早晨她不愿意和吉姆见面。
“我是个十足的傻瓜,”她自忖。
昨天的夜晚竞象是不知多么久远,昨夜发生的事情确似发生在不知多久之前。
她整天没跟吉姆说过一句话,她有满腔的话要跟他说。
她不知他会不会在街上,所以她来到窗前,往外望着,但是外面什么人也没有。她重又把窗关了,就在窗边坐下,盼着他来,心里揣度着,他是不是也象她想着他那样地在想她呢。她头脑渐渐模糊起来。她瞌睡了。
她蓦地惊醒,好象听见什么声音。她再仔细听,一会儿这声音又来了,在窗上轻轻的、得得的三、四声。她连忙开窗,低声地叫道一
“吉姆。”
“是我,”他回答;“出来。’’
她把窗关上,跑到走廊里,去开沿街的门。锁刚开,占姆已经推门而入。他把门半掩着,把她一把抱住,紧紧贴在怀里。他热烈地吻她。
“我知道你今夜会来的,我心里有什么东西告诉我的。可你来得这么晚。”
“我故意不早来,因为我想街上有人。吻我!”他再次把嘴唇贴在她嘴唇上,丽莎乐陶陶的几乎晕过去。
“我们去散一会步,好不好?”他说。
“好!”他们低声耳语。“你穿小弄上大道,我打这街上走。”
“好,那样好.”他又吻了她一下,溜出门去,她把门关好。
然后她为了去拿顶帽子,回到走廊里,先在门背后等了一会儿,不要让人发觉了她的冒险行动。正在犹豫要不要回进去拿帽子的时候,她听见门锁上钥匙声音,想连忙缩回身子,不让有人开进门来撞到她,可是已经来不及。开门的是个男人,他是住在楼上的邻居。
“谁?”他说,“谁在这儿?”
“霍吉斯先生!Ⅱ育,你着实吓我一跳;我正要出去。”她脸涨得通红,幸亏他在黑暗里根本看不见。
“再见,”她说完,就出去了。
她紧贴着一幢幢房子的墙脚,象个贼似地走去。警察看见她走过,回过头来瞧着她,怀疑她是不是在想干什么违法的事情。
她一进入大道,呼吸舒畅了,看见吉姆在一棵树下躲着,直奔上前去,他们在荫影底下又是接吻。
Chapter 9
Thus began a time of love and joy. As soon as her work was over and she had finished tea, Liza would slip out and at some appointed spot meet Jim. Usually it would be at the church, where the Westminster Bridge Road bends down to get to the river, and they would go off, arm-in-arm, till they came to some place where they could sit down and rest. Sometimes they would walk along the Albert Embankment to Battersea Park, and here sit on the benches, watching the children play. The female cyclist had almost abandoned Battersea for the parks on the other side of the river, but often enough one went by, and Liza, with the old-fashioned prejudice of her class, would look after the rider and make some remark about her, not seldom more forcible than ladylike. Both Jim and she liked children, and, tiny, ragged urchins would gather round to have rides on the man's knees or mock fights with Liza.
They thought themselves far away from anyone in Vere Street, but twice, as they were walking along, they were met by people they knew. Once it was two workmen coming home from a job at Vauxhall: Liza did not see them till they were quite near; she immediately dropped Jim's arm, and they both cast their eyes to the ground as the men passed, like ostriches, expecting that if they did not look they would not be seen.
'D'you see 'em, Jim?' asked Liza, in a whisper, when they had gone by. 'I wonder if they see us.' Almost instinctively she turned round, and at the same moment one of the men turned too; then there was no doubt about it.
'Thet did give me a turn,' she said.
'So it did me,' answered Jim; 'I simply went 'ot all over.'
'We was bally fools,' said Liza; 'we oughter 'ave spoken to 'em! D'you think they'll let aht?'
They heard nothing of it, when Jim afterwards met one of the men in a public-house he did not mention a meeting, and they thought that perhaps they had not been recognized. But the second time was worse.
It was on the Albert Embankment again. They were met by a party of four, all of whom lived in the street. Liza's heart sank within her, for there was no chance of escape; she thought of turning quickly and walking in the opposite direction, but there was not time, for the men had already seen them. She whispered to Jim:
'Back us up,' and as they met she said to one of the men:
''Ulloa there! Where are you off to?'
The men stopped, and one of them asked the question back.
'Where are you off to?'
'Me? Oh, I've just been to the 'orspital. One of the gals at our place is queer, an' so I says ter myself, "I'll go an' see 'er."' She faltered a little as she began, but quickly gathered herself together, lying fluently and without hesitation.
'An' when I come aht,' she went on, ''oo should I see just passin' the 'orspital but this 'ere cove, an' 'e says to me, "Wot cheer," says 'e, "I'm goin' ter Vaux'all, come an' walk a bit of the wy with us." "Arright," says I, "I don't mind if I do."'
One man winked, and another said: 'Go it, Liza!'
She fired up with the dignity of outraged innocence.
'Wot d'yer mean by thet?' she said; 'd'yer think I'm kiddin'?'
'Kiddin'? No! You've only just come up from the country, ain't yer?'
'Think I'm kidding? What d'yer think I want ter kid for? Liars never believe anyone, thet's fact.'
'Na then, Liza, don't be saucy.'
'Saucy! I'll smack yer in the eye if yer sy much ter me. Come on,' she said to Jim, who had been standing sheepishly by; and they walked away.
The men shouted: 'Now we shan't be long!' and went off laughing.
After that they decided to go where there was no chance at all of their being seen. They did not meet till they got over Westminster Bridge, and thence they made their way into the park; they would lie down on the grass in one another's arms, and thus spend the long summer evenings. After the heat of the day there would be a gentle breeze in the park, and they would take in long breaths of the air; it seemed far away from London, it was so quiet and cool; and Liza, as she lay by Jim's side, felt her love for him overflowing to the rest of the world and enveloping mankind itself in a kind of grateful happiness. If it could only have lasted! They would stay and see the stars shine out dimly, one by one, from the blue sky, till it grew late and the blue darkened into black, and the stars glittered in thousands all above them. But as the nights grew cooler, they found it cold on the grass, and the time they had there seemed too short for the long journey they had to make; so, crossing the bridge as before, they strolled along the Embankment till they came to a vacant bench, and there they would sit, with Liza nestling close up to her lover and his great arms around her. The rain of September made no difference to them; they went as usual to their seat beneath the trees, and Jim would take Liza on his knee, and, opening his coat, shelter her with it, while she, with her arms round his neck, pressed very close to him, and occasionally gave a little laugh of pleasure and delight. They hardly spoke at all through these evenings, for what had they to say to one another? Often without exchanging a word they would sit for an hour with their faces touching, the one feeling on his cheek the hot breath from the other's mouth; while at the end of the time the only motion was an upraising of Liza's lips, a bending down of Jim's, so that they might meet and kiss. Sometimes Liza fell into a light doze, and Jim would sit very still for fear of waking her, and when she roused herself she would smile, while he bent down again and kissed her. They were very happy. But the hours passed by so quickly, that Big Ben striking twelve came upon them as a surprise, and unwillingly they got up and made their way homewards; their partings were never ending--each evening Jim refused to let her go from his arms, and tears stood in his eyes at the thought of the separation.
'I'd give somethin',' he would say, 'if we could be togither always.'
'Never mind, old chap!' Liza would answer, herself half crying, 'it can't be 'elped, so we must jolly well lump it.'
But notwithstanding all their precautions people in Vere Street appeared to know. First of all Liza noticed that the women did not seem quite so cordial as before, and she often fancied they were talking of her; when she passed by they appeared to look at her, then say something or other, and perhaps burst out laughing; but when she approached they would immediately stop speaking, and keep silence in a rather awkward, constrained manner. For a long time she was unwilling to believe that there was any change in them, and Jim who had observed nothing, persuaded her that it was all fancy. But gradually it became clearer, and Jim had to agree with her that somehow or other people had found out. Once when Liza had been talking to Polly, Jim's daughter, Mrs. Blakeston had called her, and when the girl had come to her mother Liza saw that she spoke angrily, and they both looked across at her. When Liza caught Mrs. Blakeston's eye she saw in her face a surly scowl, which almost frightened her; she wanted to brave it out, and stepped forward a little to go and speak with the woman, but Mrs. Blakeston, standing still, looked so angrily at her that she was afraid to. When she told Jim his face grew dark, and he said: 'Blast the woman! I'll give 'er wot for if she says anythin' ter you.'
'Don't strike 'er, wotever 'appens, will yer, Jim?' said Liza.
'She'd better tike care then!' he answered, and he told her that lately his wife had been sulking, and not speaking to him. The previous night, on coming home after the day's work and bidding her 'Good evenin',' she had turned her back on him without answering.
'Can't you answer when you're spoke to?' he had said.
'Good evenin',' she had replied sulkily, with her back still turned.
After that Liza noticed that Polly avoided her.
'Wot's up, Polly?' she said to her one day. 'You never speaks now; 'ave you 'ad yer tongue cut aht?'
'Me? I ain't got nothin' ter speak abaht, thet I knows of,' answered Polly, abruptly walking off. Liza grew very red and quickly looked to see if anyone had noticed the incident. A couple of youths, sitting on the pavement, had seen it, and she saw them nudge one another and wink.