'Wot are yer blushin' abaht?' ingenuously asked one of the girls.
And they all looked from her to Mrs. Blakeston and back again. Someone said: ''Ow abaht our Sunday boots on now?' And a titter went through them. Liza's nerve deserted her; she could think of nothing to say, and a sob burst from her. To hide the tears which were coming from her eyes she turned away and walked homewards. Immediately a great shout of laughter broke from the group, and she heard them positively screaming till she got into her own house.
十一月。风和日丽的季节过去了，随之而去的是吉姆和丽莎的爱情的欢乐。
他们夜里来到亚尔培堤，只觉得阴沉寒冷；有时薄雾笼罩着河岸，使一盏盏灯光朦朦胧胧地化成一个个大光圈；又时常下着小雨，阴冷入骨。路上偶有行人，撑着伞，眼睛直盯着前方，匆匆在阴湿和寒冷中走过；时而一辆出租马车很快地经过，两边泥浆飞溅。
那些凳子都空着没人坐，除了或许有个把无家可归、又没钱找个地方投宿的可怜人，蜷缩在角落里，头钻在胸窝里，死人般地沉睡着。
湿的泥浆把丽莎的裙子粘住在她腿上，潮气从腿上渐渐侵袭到全身，终于使她噤战不止，为了得到一点暖气，紧紧贴着吉姆。
有时候他们跑进滑铁卢注或查林广场车站的三等车候车室，坐在那里。但那儿不象夏夜的公园和河堤。那儿暖和，可是热使他们潮湿的农服蒸发出难闻的味儿，煤气灯耀眼睛，而且他们讨厌那穿流不息地出出进进的人，一开门就是一阵冷风．他们讨厌车站管理员和脚夫们叫喊“开车了”的喧嚷和机车刺耳的气笛声，讨厌那一片忙乱、嘈杂和烦嚣。
到十一点钟光景，来往火车少了，他们可以安静一点，可是他们心情不宁，感到烦闷、忧伤、痛苦。
有一天晚上，他们坐在滑铁卢车站的候车室里。外面是大雾——十一月份的黄色的浓雾弥漫着整个候车室，直往肺里钻，它叫人嘴里苦涩，眼睛刺痛。此刻是十一点半左右，车站上异常地清静：几个乘客穿着大衣、围着围巾，踱来踱去，在等待末班火车，一两个脚夫站在那里打呵欠。
丽莎和吉姆在那儿闷坐了一个钟头，彼此没说过一句话；两个人都抑郁不欢，好似头脑里压着沉重的铅块。
丽莎身子向前倾着，臂肘撑在膝盖上，双手捧着脸。
“我能堂堂正正地做人该多好，”她终于说，眼睛也不抬一抬。
“是啊，你为什么不跟我在一起？那样你不就好了吗？”他回答。
“不．那不行，我不能那样做。”
他几次三番要求她干脆跟他住一起去，然而她始终不答应。
“你可以跟我一起住，我到霍洛韦注去租间屋子，我们在那里一起住，就象结了婚的一样。”
“你的工作怎么办？”
“我能这里找到工作，也能在那边找到工作。我对现在的情况实在受不了啦。”
“我也是，可我不能把我妈丢下。”
“她可以一起去嘛。”
“我没有结婚．不能叫她去。我不愿意让她知道——知道我走错了路。”
“我跟你结婚。天啊，我是日思夜想正要跟你结婚呀。”
“你不能；你已经结婚了。”
“那没有关系！要是我每个月工钱里拿出一点给我老婆，她会签字立凭据，放弃她对我的一切要求的，那样我们就好结婚了。有个和我在一起干活的人就是那样做的，什么都解决。”
丽莎摇摇头。
“不，我现在不能这样做；这要犯重婚罪，警察把你抓去，你要吃官司，服一年苦役。”
“但是，天晓得，丽莎，我没法一直这样下去。你知道我那老婆——该死的，她毫无疑问知道你和我搅在一起，她都在我面前说穿了。”
“她不会说穿吧？”
“嗯，她并不明说，可她发脾气，不睬我，而当我说了什么的时候，她就跟我吵，什么都挖空心思地骂得出来。我要狠狠揍她一顿，可我又不大想动手！她把一个家闹得变成了我的地狱．我实在忍受不下去啊！”
“你只好忍耐I你没有办法。”
“有办法，我有办法，那就是你跟我走。我看你根本不喜欢我，否则你准跟我走了。”
她转身向他，双臂抱着他的脖子。
“你知道我喜欢你的，我亲爱的．”她说。“你是我天下最喜欢的人，但是我不能丢下我妈走掉呀。"
“我真不懂为什么；她从没有好好待过你。她要你做死做活给她付房租，而她挣的钱全部喝酒喝掉。”
“的确，她对我从来不是个你说的好妈妈——可是她总是我的妈妈，我不愿把她一个人丢下不管，而且她年纪这么大，患着风湿又不能多做什么事。再说，亲爱的吉姆，不光是我妈，还有你自己的孩子们，你不能丢了他们。”
他想了想，然后说——
“你这话也对，丽莎；我恐怕是丢不下他们。要是我能带着他们，也带着你，一起走，老天爷，我才开心哪。”
丽莎苦笑了一下。
“所以你瞧，吉姆，我们的处境真糟透，我竟毫无办法。”
他把她抱在膝盖上，紧紧搂住她，长长地热情地吻着她。
“唉，我们只得听天由命，”她又说，“或许就会有什么转机，最后一切都好——到时候一个铜币买四团绒线。”
时间已过十二点，他们分手了，各自沿着阴暗、潮湿、阒无人影的道路，分头回到维尔街去。
丽莎觉得这条小街似乎跟三个月前完全两样了，谦卑地爱慕她的汤姆已经在她生命中消失了。
还是在八月公假日过后三、四个星期的某一天，她曾经看见汤姆徘徊在人行道上，她顿觉好久没有见他了。只是当时她满怀欢乐，除了吉姆之外，谁都不在心上。她不知汤姆到哪儿去了，因为在过去，无论她到哪里，汤姆总也在那里。
她经过他身边，可是他并不理她，这使她大为惊异。
她想会不会碰巧他没有看见她，不过她明明觉得他的目光注视着她。
她回过头来，他突然低头往下看，仿佛没看见她似地向前走去，可是面孔涨得通红。
“汤姆，”她招呼他，“你怎么不理我？’’
他愣了一下，面孔涨得更红了。
“我没看到你，”他回答。
“别对我装蒜，”她说；“到底怎么回事？’’
“我也不知道，”他勉强地说。
“我没有得罪你吧，汤姆？”
“不，我没有觉得，”他回答，很沮丧的样子。
“你这一阵子一直不来接近我，”她说。
“我不知道你要和我见面。”
“去！你知道我同喜欢别人一样喜欢你。”
“你喜欢的人太多了，丽莎，”他涨红着脸说。
“你这是什么意思？”丽莎气愤地说，但是脸也涨得很红；她怕他这会儿都知道了，她是特别不愿意让他知道的。
“没有什么，”他答道。
“一个人说这话不会没有意思，除非他是该死的傻子。”
“你说对了，丽莎，”他回答，“我是个该死的傻子。”
他对她瞥了一眼，她觉得他目光里带有责骂的意思。他接着说了声“再见’’，转身就走了。
开始她很怕他知道了她对吉姆的爱情；后来她觉得也无所谓。毕竟，这不关别人的事，只要她爱吉姆、吉姆爱她，有什么关系？
然后她又恼恨汤姆怀疑她；他除了有几个人曾经在沃克斯霍尔附近看见她和吉姆在一起之外，别的什么也不会知道。她以为他凭这一点对她大惊小怪，十分可恶。
从那一回之后，她遇上汤姆就回避他。他从不想对她说话，但是她经过他身边的时候，尽管他装着看在她前面的样子，她看得出他每次都脸红，同时总觉得他眼睛里流露着非常悲伤的神色。
过了几个星期，她越来越感觉到在小街上怪孤寂的。她懊悔那回跟汤姆吵嘴。她想到失去了他的忠实而温柔的爱情，哭泣起来，她真想跟他重归于好。
当时只要他主动有些表示，她马上就热情欢迎他了，而她又是那么高傲，不肯自己去要求他原谅她——不过，他怎么能原谅她呢？
她也失去了萨莉，因为她一结婚，哈利就叫她放弃了厂里的工作。他是个足以当国会议员讲一篇大道理的人，他说一
“女人的位置是在家庭里。．如果一个男人不能养活老婆，非要她到厂里去做工——那末，我只能认为他还是做光棍的好。”
“这也对，”他的丈母娘同意；“而且她很快就有孩子要照顾，这我是比什么人都体会，我生过十二个孩子，还不算两个死胎和一次流产。”
丽莎很羡慕萨莉的幸福，因为新娘快活得又是唱歌，又是欢笑，简直乐不可支。
“我很幸福．”她在结婚的几个星期后有一天对丽莎说。“你不知道哈利多好。他真是个宝贝，没错的。我不管人家怎么说，我说没有比结婚更幸福的。他嘴里从没有一句恼火的话。我妈三顿都在我们这儿吃，他说这再好也没有。嗳，我真是快活得东南西北也分不清了。”
奈何好景不常！
后来丽莎碰到她，萨莉可就不是那么喜满胸怀了。有一天她眼睛很象是哭过的样子。
“怎么啦？”丽莎瞧着她。“怎么你眼睛都哭肿了？”
“我？”萨莉说，一阵脸红。“噢，我有点牙痛——我真有点傻，牙痛得厉害，我不禁哭了。”
丽莎对这回答不满意，可也没法再问出什么来。
后来另有一天，这才真相大白。
那是个星期六的夜晚，是维尔街上女人哭泣的时候。
丽莎在到威斯敏斯特桥大道去碰头吉姆的路上，顺便到萨莉屋里去看看她。哈利租的是间顶层的后房，丽莎爬到第二座楼梯时，照例叫道——
“喂，嗬，萨莉！”
房门不开，虽然丽莎看得出房间里面灯亮着。她听见呜咽的声音，所以她到房门口，站停了脚。她听了一会，然后敲敲房门，里面一阵慌张，接着有人叫着答应——
“谁啊？”
“就是我，”丽莎说，推门进去。她踏进房门，只见萨莉急忙揩揩眼睛，把手帕塞开。她母亲坐在她旁边，显然在安慰她。
“发生什么事啦？”丽莎问。
“没事，”萨莉回答，拚命屏住了哭泣，低下了头，不让丽莎看见她眼眶里的泪水。但是泪水还是直涌而出，她迅速拿出手帕，掩着面孔，伤心地抽噎起来。丽莎向她母亲疑问地望望。
“啊，又是那个家伙！”老太太说着，仰天长叹。
“不是哈利吧！”丽莎惊异地说。
“不是哈利？一一不是哈利又是准！那个流氓!”
“他干出了什么来啦？”丽莎又问。
“打她，这就是他干出来的！啊，这个流氓，他改为自己害臊——应该害臊！”
“我原先不知道他是那样的人！”丽莎说。
“你不知道？我想现在整条街上都知道了，”库柏老太太愤恨地说。“唉，他真不是个东西！”
“这不是他的错，”萨莉抽抽搭搭地哭着插嘴说，“他只是因为多喝了一口。他不喝醉的时候是好好的。”
“多喝了一口！我看他也确实是多喝了一口，这畜生！我要是个男的，我要好好教训他一顿。他们都是那个样子——做丈夫的都是一样；有时候他们不喝醉，确是好好的；可一喝醉就是畜生，没错的。过去我也有丈夫，一起生活了二十五年，所以我懂得他们。”
“不过，妈，”萨莉抽噎着说，“这回全是我不好。我该早些回家的。”
“不，这根本不是你的过错。你瞧瞧这里，丽莎：这是他干的，还自己算是个男子汉。就只因为萨莉出去和隔壁麦克劳德太太聊了会天，回到屋里，他就把她乱打。还打我，你倒想想看！”库柏太太气愤得脸都发了紫。
“是的，”她继续说，“这叫是男子汉。当然我总不见得站在那里，眼看我女儿被乱踢乱打吧？他又骂我，用拳头打我。瞧这里。”
她撩起袖子，露出两条又红又强壮的．臂膊。
“他打伤了我的手臂；我起初还当打断了呢。要不是我举起臂膀来，他会打我头上，甚至把我打死了的。
“我对他说，‘你敢再碰碰我，我报警察局去，我报局去！’
“嗨，这一下他可有点害怕了，我就这样放过他吗！
“‘你还自己算是个男子汉，’我说，‘你还不配去通阴沟呢。’
“你没听到他说的下流话。‘你这肮脏的老太婆，’他说，‘你滚开；你老是跟我缠不清。’我实在不高兴重复他说的话。
“我对他说，‘我女儿不做你老婆多好，我早知道你是这个样子，我死也不会让她嫁给你。”’
“唉，我也想不到他是这样的！”丽莎说。
“开始的时候，他很好的，”萨莉说。
“是啊，他们开始的时候总是很好的！可是你想想看，现在他们结婚还不到三个月，第一个孩子还没生下，已经闹到这个地步！真丢人哪！”
丽莎继续待了一会，帮着安慰安慰萨莉，可怜她始终把这回吵架的过错拉在自己身上。
最后她向萨莉道了晚安，祝她今后幸福，自己赶去会见吉姆了。
她到了约好的地点，不看见他。她等了好一会，才看见他从附近一家小酒店里出来。
“晚上好，吉姆，”她跑到他面前招呼他。
“你到底来了，是不是？”他回过头来，粗暴地说。
“怎么了，吉姆？”她怯声怯气地问，因为他以前从来没有这样对她说话过。
“你好哇，叫我整夜地等着你出来！”
她知道他喝了酒，她用歉疚的口气回答说——
“对不起，吉姆，我到萨莉那里去弯了弯。她男人打了她一顿，所以我陪她坐了一会。”
“打了一顿吗？也是活该；该好好打的女人多着呢！”
丽莎不响。他朝她看看，然后忽然说——
“一起去喝一杯。”
“不，我不渴，我不想喝，”她回答。
“一起去”，他凶狠狠地说。
“不要去了，吉姆，你已经喝得够多了。"
“你在对谁说话？”他说。“你不去就不去，我一个人去喝一杯。”
“不，吉姆，不要去。’’她拖着他的手臂。
“我要去，”他说着，往小酒店走去，丽莎拖住他。
“让我去，你让我！让我去！”他猛力把丽莎甩开。她还想去拖住他，他推开她，在你拉我扯的当儿，他给她j：卜面一拳。
“噢！”她说，“你打得我好痛！”
他顿时清醒了过来。
“丽莎．”他说。“我没有打痛你吧？”
她不作声，他把她抱在怀里。
“丽莎，我没有打痛你吧，没有吧？说我没有打痛你。我很遗憾，我求你原谅我，丽莎。”
“好，亲爱的，”她说，对他温柔地微笑着。“这一拳倒没什么，你说话的口气和态度叫我心痛。”
“我是无心的，丽莎，’’他很后悔，尽量低声下气地说。“今夜我跟老太婆又大吵了一场，跑到这里又不看见你，尽等着等着——唉，我实在恼火了。因此我去喝了两、三品脱四便士半的啤酒——我自己也不知道——”
“不要紧，亲爱的，只要你爱我，更厉害的我也受得了。”
他吻她，他们又完全和好了。
不过，这一场小吵架对丽莎有更坏的影响。
当她第二天醒来的时候，她觉得左眼底下的面颊骨上有点痛．朝镜子里一看，原来是又黑、又青、又绿的一块。她把它洗刷也洗刷不掉，而且似乎反而更加显著。她深怕人家看到，所以在家里躲了一整天，可是第二天这一块更黑得厉害。
她到厂里去的时候，把帽子盖着眼睛，把头沉得低低的，总算没被人发觉。但是她在回家的路上，没有这样运气。有几个姑娘目光锐利，首先发现。
“你的眼睛怎么了？”一个姑娘问。
“我？’’丽莎应道，假装糊涂，伸手摸摸。“我不知道嘛。”
有两三个年轻小伙子站在旁边，听到了那姑娘说的话，也注意到了。
“呀，你眼睛青肿了，丽莎！”
“我？我眼睛没有青肿！”
“青肿了；怎么会青肿了的？”
“我不知道，”丽莎说。“我不知道我眼睛青肿。”
“得了！你再说谎吧！”这是她得到的回答。“没有人会眼睛青肿了而不知怎么青肿的。”
“哦，我昨天确实在五斗橱上撞过一下，准是那一撞撞出来的。”
“原来如此，我们才相信哪，相信吗？”
“我倒不知道他的拳头有这么厉害，你本来知道吗，特德？”一个男的问另一个男的。
丽莎觉得从脸上一直红到了脚趾尖。
“你们说谁？”她问。
“你别管，你不认识的。”
这时候，吉姆的妻子走过，她对丽莎恶狠狠地看看。丽莎恨不得自己远在一百英里外，脸涨得更红了。
“你为什么脸红了？”那些姑娘中的一个爽快地问。
他们的目光从丽莎身上移到布莱克斯顿太太身上，又重新移回来。
有一个人说，“这下我们该穿起节日的皮靴，庆祝我们胜利了吧？”大伙嗤嗤地窃笑。
丽莎的神经支持不住了；她一句对答的话也想不出来，突然哽咽起来。为了不让人看见她夺眶而出的眼泪，转身就朝家里走。
人群中立即爆发出一阵叫笑，直到她走进屋里，还清清楚楚听得见他们的尖叫。
Chapter 11
A few days afterwards Liza was talking with Sally, who did not seem very much happier than when Liza had last seen her.
''E ain't wot I thought 'e wos,' she said. 'I don't mind sayin' thet; but 'e 'as a lot ter put up with; I expect I'm rather tryin' sometimes, an' 'e means well. P'raps 'e'll be kinder like when the biby's born.'
'Cheer up, old gal,' answered Liza, who had seen something of the lives of many married couples; 'it won't seem so bad after yer gets used to it; it's a bit disappointin' at fust, but yer gits not ter mind it.'
After a little Sally said she must go and see about her husband's tea. She said good-bye, and then rather awkwardly:
'Say, Liza, tike care of yerself!'
'Tike care of meself--why?' asked Liza, in surprise.
'Yer know wot I mean.'
'Na, I'm darned if I do.'
'Thet there Mrs. Blakeston, she's lookin' aht for you.'
'Mrs. Blakeston!' Liza was startled.
'Yus; she says she's goin' ter give you somethin' if she can git 'old on yer. I should advise yer ter tike care.'
'Me?' said Liza.
Sally looked away, so as not to see the other's face.
'She says as 'ow yer've been messin' abaht with 'er old man.'
Liza didn't say anything, and Sally, repeating her good-bye, slid off.
Liza felt a chill run through her. She had several times noticed a scowl and a look of anger on Mrs. Blakeston's face, and she had avoided her as much as possible; but she had no idea that the woman meant to do anything to her. She was very frightened, a cold sweat broke out over her face. If Mrs. Blakeston got hold of her she would be helpless, she was so small and weak, while the other was strong and muscular. Liza wondered what she would do if she did catch her.
That night she told Jim, and tried to make a joke of it.
'I say, Jim, your missus--she says she's goin' ter give me socks if she catches me.'
'My missus! 'Ow d'yer know?'
'She's been tellin' people in the street.'
'Go' lumme,' said Jim, furious, 'if she dares ter touch a 'air of your 'ead, swop me dicky I'll give 'er sich a 'idin' as she never 'ad before! By God, give me the chanst, an' I would let 'er 'ave it; I'm bloomin' well sick of 'er sulks!' He clenched his fist as he spoke.
Liza was a coward. She could not help thinking of her enemy's threat; it got on her nerves, and she hardly dared go out for fear of meeting her; she would look nervously in front of her, quickly turning round if she saw in the distance anyone resembling Mrs. Blakeston. She dreamed of her at night; she saw the big, powerful form, the heavy, frowning face, and the curiously braided brown hair; and she would wake up with a cry and find herself bathed in sweat.
It was the Saturday afternoon following this, a chill November day, with the roads sloshy, and a grey, comfortless sky that made one's spirits sink. It was about three o'clock, and Liza was coming home from work; she got into Vere Street, and was walking quickly towards her house when she saw Mrs. Blakeston coming towards her. Her heart gave a great jump. Turning, she walked rapidly in the direction she had come; with a screw round of her eyes she saw that she was being followed, and therefore went straight out of Vere Street. She went right round, meaning to get into the street from the other end and, unobserved, slip into her house, which was then quite close; but she dared not risk it immediately for fear Mrs. Blakeston should still be there; so she waited about for half an hour. It seemed an age. Finally, taking her courage in both hands, she turned the corner and entered Vere Street. She nearly ran into the arms of Mrs. Blakeston, who was standing close to the public-house door.
Liza gave a little cry, and the woman said, with a sneer:
'Yer didn't expect ter see me, did yer?'
Liza did not answer, but tried to walk past her. Mrs. Blakeston stepped forward and blocked her way.
'Yer seem ter be in a mighty fine 'urry,' she said.
'Yus, I've got ter git 'ome,' said Liza, again trying to pass.
'But supposin' I don't let yer?' remarked Mrs. Blakeston, preventing her from moving.
'Why don't yer leave me alone?' Liza said. 'I ain't interferin' with you!'
'Not interferin' with me, aren't yer? I like thet!'
'Let me go by,' said Liza. 'I don't want ter talk ter you.'
'Na, I know thet,' said the other; 'but I want ter talk ter you, an' I shan't let yer go until I've said wot I wants ter sy.'
Liza looked round for help. At the beginning of the altercation the loafers about the public-house had looked up with interest, and gradually gathered round in a little circle. Passers-by had joined in, and a number of other people in the street, seeing the crowd, added themselves to it to see what was going on. Liza saw that all eyes were fixed on her, the men amused and excited, the women unsympathetic, rather virtuously indignant. Liza wanted to ask for help, but there were so many people, and they all seemed so much against her, that she had not the courage to. So, having surveyed the crowd, she turned her eyes to Mrs. Blakeston, and stood in front of her, trembling a little, and very white.
'Na, 'e ain't there,' said Mrs. Blakeston, sneeringly, 'so yer needn't look for 'im.'
'I dunno wot yer mean,' answered Liza, 'an' I want ter go awy. I ain't done nothin' ter you.'
'Not done nothin' ter me?' furiously repeated the woman. 'I'll tell yer wot yer've done ter me--you've robbed me of my 'usbind, you 'ave. I never 'ad a word with my 'usbind until you took 'im from me. An' now it's all you with 'im. 'E's got no time for 'is wife an' family--it's all you. An' 'is money, too. I never git a penny of it; if it weren't for the little bit I 'ad saved up in the siving-bank, me an' my children 'ud be starvin' now! An' all through you!' She shook her fist at her.
'I never 'ad any money from anyone.'
'Don' talk ter me; I know yer did. Yer dirty bitch! You oughter be ishimed of yourself tikin' a married man from 'is family, an' 'im old enough ter be yer father.'
'She's right there!' said one or two of the onlooking women. 'There can't be no good in 'er if she tikes somebody else's 'usbind.'
'I'll give it yer!' proceeded Mrs. Blakeston, getting more hot and excited, brandishing her fist, and speaking in a loud voice, hoarse with rage. 'Oh, I've been tryin' ter git 'old on yer this four weeks. Why, you're a prostitute--that's wot you are!'
'I'm not!' answered Liza indignantly.
'Yus, you are,' repeated Mrs. Blakeston, advancing menacingly, so that Liza shrank back. 'An' wot's more, 'e treats yer like one. I know 'oo give yer thet black eye; thet shows what 'e thinks of yer! An' serve yer bloomin' well right if 'e'd give yer one in both eyes!'
