that stuff out now. This ain't no Follies.' I had to laugh. He
does get so sore at times at all of us. But I put him in his place
just the same. He's kinda soft on me, you know--he wouldn't fire
me for worlds, not him. So I says to him, 'See here, Mr. Beck, you
can't talk to me in any such style as that. I'm not in the habit
of comin' late often. An' wot's more, this ain't the only place I
can work in K.C. If I can't be late once in a while without
hearin' about it, you can just send up for my time, that's all,
see.' I wasn't goin' to let him get away with that stuff. And
just as I thought, he weakened. All he says was, 'Well, just the
same, I'm warnin' you. Next time maybe Mr. Tierney'll see you an'
then you'll get a chance to try some other store, all right.' He
knew he was bluffing and that I did, too. I had to laugh. An' I
saw him laughin' with Mr. Scott about two minutes later. But, gee,
I certainly do pull some raw stuff around there at times."
By then she and Clyde, with scarcely a word on his part, and much
to his ease and relief, had reached Frissell's. And for the first
time in his life he had the satisfaction of escorting a girl to a
table in such a place. Now he really was beginning to have a few
experiences worthy of the name. He was quite on edge with the
romance of it. Because of her very high estimate of herself, her
very emphatic picture of herself as one who was intimate with so
many youths and girls who were having a good time, he felt that up
to this hour he had not lived at all. Swiftly he thought of the
different things she had told him--Burkett's on the Big Blue,
skating and dancing on the ice--Charlie Trone--the young tobacco
clerk with whom she had had the engagement for to-night--Mr. Beck
at the store who was so struck on her that he couldn't bring
himself to fire her. And as he saw her order whatever she liked,
without any thought of his purse, he contemplated quickly her face,
figure, the shape of her hands, so suggestive always of the
delicacy or roundness of the arm, the swell of her bust, already
very pronounced, the curve of her eyebrows, the rounded appeal of
her smooth cheeks and chin. There was something also about the
tone of her voice, unctuous, smooth, which somehow appealed to and
disturbed him. To him it was delicious. Gee, if he could only
have such a girl all for himself!
And in here, as without, she clattered on about herself, not at all
impressed, apparently, by the fact that she was dining here, a
place that to him had seemed quite remarkable. When she was not
looking at herself in a mirror, she was studying the bill of fare
and deciding what she liked--lamb with mint jelly--no omelette, no
beef--oh, yes, filet of mignon with mushrooms. She finally
compromised on that with celery and cauliflower. And she would
like a cocktail. Oh, yes, Clyde had heard Hegglund say that no
meal was worth anything without a few drinks, so now he had mildly
suggested a cocktail. And having secured that and a second, she
seemed warmer and gayer and more gossipy than ever.
But all the while, as Clyde noticed, her attitude in so far as he
was concerned was rather distant--impersonal. If for so much as a
moment, he ventured to veer the conversation ever so slightly to
themselves, his deep personal interest in her, whether she was
really very deeply concerned about any other youth, she threw him
off by announcing that she liked all the boys, really. They were
all so lovely--so nice to her. They had to be. When they weren't,
she didn't have anything more to do with them. She "tied a can to
them," as she once expressed it. Her quick eyes clicked and she
tossed her head defiantly.
And Clyde was captivated by all this. Her gestures, her poses,
moues and attitudes were sensuous and suggestive. She seemed to
like to tease, promise, lay herself open to certain charges and
conclusions and then to withhold and pretend that there was nothing
to all of this--that she was very unconscious of anything save the
most reserved thoughts in regard to herself. In the main, Clyde
was thrilled and nourished by this mere proximity to her. It was
torture, and yet a sweet kind of torture. He was full of the most
tantalizing thoughts about how wonderful it would be if only he
were permitted to hold her close, kiss her mouth, bite her, even.
To cover her mouth with his! To smother her with kisses! To crush
and pet her pretty figure! She would look at him at moments with
deliberate, swimming eyes, and he actually felt a little sick and
weak--almost nauseated. His one dream was that by some process,
either of charm or money, he could make himself interesting to her.
And yet after going with her to the theater and taking her home
again, he could not see that he had made any noticeable progress.
For throughout the performance of "The Corsair" at Libby's,
Hortense, who, because of her uncertain interest in him was really
interested in the play, talked of nothing but similar shows she had
seen, as well as of actors and actresses and what she thought of
them, and what particular youth had taken her. And Clyde, instead
of leading her in wit and defiance and matching her experiences
with his own, was compelled to content himself with approving of
her.
And all the time she was thinking that she had made another real
conquest. And because she was no longer virtuous, and she was
convinced that he had some little money to spend, and could be made
to spend it on her, she conceived the notion of being sufficiently
agreeable--nothing more--to hold him, keep him attentive, if
possible, while at the same time she went her own way, enjoying
herself as much as possible with others and getting Clyde to buy
and do such things for her as might fill gaps--when she was not
sufficiently or amusingly enough engaged elsewhere.
Chapter 13
For a period of four months at least this was exactly the way it
worked out. After meeting her in this fashion, he was devoting not
an inconsiderable portion of his free time to attempting to
interest her to the point where she would take as much interest in
him as she appeared to take in others. At the same time he could
not tell whether she could be made to entertain a singular
affection for any one. Nor could he believe that there was only an
innocent camaraderie involved in all this. Yet she was so enticing
that he was deliriously moved by the thought that if his worst
suspicions were true, she might ultimately favor him. So
captivated was he by this savor of sensuality and varietism that
was about her, the stigmata of desire manifest in her gestures,
moods, voice, the way she dressed, that he could not think of
relinquishing her.
Rather, he foolishly ran after her. And seeing this, she put him
off, at times evaded him, compelled him to content himself with
little more than the crumbs of her company, while at the same time
favoring him with descriptions or pictures of other activities and
contacts which made him feel as though he could no longer endure to
merely trail her in this fashion. It was then he would announce to
himself in anger that he was not going to see her any more. She
was no good to him, really. But on seeing her again, a cold
indifference in everything she said and did, his courage failed him
and he could not think of severing the tie.
She was not at all backward at the same time in speaking of things
that she needed or would like to have--little things, at first--a
new powder puff, a lip stick, a box of powder or a bottle of
perfume. Later, and without having yielded anything more to Clyde
than a few elusive and evasive endearments--intimate and languorous
reclinings in his arms which promised much but always came to
nothing--she made so bold as to indicate to him at different times
and in different ways, purses, blouses, slippers, stockings, a hat,
which she would like to buy if only she had the money. And he, in
order to hold her favor and properly ingratiate himself, proceeded
to buy them, though at times and because of some other developments
in connection with his family, it pressed him hard to do so. And
yet, as he was beginning to see toward the end of the fourth month,
he was apparently little farther advanced in her favor than he had
been in the beginning. In short, he was conducting a feverish and
almost painful pursuit without any definite promise of reward.
In the meantime, in so far as his home ties went, the irritations
and the depressions which were almost inextricably involved with
membership in the Griffiths family were not different from what
they had ever been. For, following the disappearance of Esta,
there had settled a period of dejection which still endured. Only,
in so far as Clyde was concerned, it was complicated with a mystery
which was tantalizing and something more--irritating; for when it
came to anything which related to sex in the Griffiths family, no
parents could possibly have been more squeamish.
And especially did this apply to the mystery which had now
surrounded Esta for some time. She had gone. She had not
returned. And so far as Clyde and the others knew, no word of any
kind had been received from her. However, Clyde had noted that
after the first few weeks of her absence, during which time both
his mother and father had been most intensely wrought up and
troubled, worrying greatly as to her whereabouts and why she did
not write, suddenly they had ceased their worries, and had become
very much more resigned--at least not so tortured by a situation
that previously had seemed to offer no hope whatsoever. He could
not explain it. It was quite noticeable, and yet nothing was said.
And then one day a little later, Clyde had occasion to note that
his mother was in communication with some one by mail--something
rare for her. For so few were her social or business connections
that she rarely received or wrote a letter.
One day, however, very shortly after he had connected himself with
the Green-Davidson, he had come in rather earlier than usual in the
afternoon and found his mother bending over a letter which
evidently had just arrived and which appeared to interest her
greatly. Also it seemed to be connected with something which
required concealment. For, on seeing him, she stopped reading at
once, and, flustered and apparently nervous, arose and put the
letter away without commenting in any way upon what she had been
doing. But Clyde for some reason, intuition perhaps, had the
thought that it might be from Esta. He was not sure. And he was
too far away to detect the character of the handwriting. But
whatever it was, his mother said nothing afterwards concerning it.
She looked as though she did not want him to inquire, and so
reserved were their relations that he would not have thought of
inquiring. He merely wondered, and then dismissed it partially,
but not entirely, from his mind.
A month or five weeks after this, and just about the time that he
was becoming comparatively well-schooled in his work at the Green-
Davidson, and was beginning to interest himself in Hortense Briggs,
his mother came to him one afternoon with a very peculiar
proposition for her. Without explaining what it was for, or
indicating directly that now she felt that he might be in a better
position to help her, she called him into the mission hall when he
came in from work and, looking at him rather fixedly and nervously
for her, said: "You wouldn't know, Clyde, would you, how I could
raise a hundred dollars right away?"
Clyde was so astonished that he could scarcely believe his ears,
for only a few weeks before the mere mention of any sum above four
or five dollars in connection with him would have been preposterous.
His mother knew that. Yet here she was asking him and apparently
assuming that he might be able to assist her in this way. And
rightly, for both his clothes and his general air had indicated a
period of better days for him.
At the same time his first thought was, of course, that she had
observed his clothes and goings-on and was convinced that he was
deceiving her about the amount he earned. And in part this was
true, only so changed was Clyde's manner of late, that his mother
had been compelled to take a very different attitude toward him and
was beginning to be not a little dubious as to her further control
over him. Recently, or since he had secured this latest place, for
some reason he had seemed to her to have grown wiser, more assured,
less dubious of himself, inclined to go his own way and keep his
own counsel. And while this had troubled her not a little in one
sense, it rather pleased her in another. For to see Clyde, who had
always seemed because of his sensitiveness and unrest so much of a
problem to her, developing in this very interesting way was
something; though at times, and in view of his very recent finery,
she had been wondering and troubled as to the nature of the company
he might be keeping. But since his hours were so long and so
absorbing, and whatever money he made appeared to be going into
clothes, she felt that she had no real reason to complain. Her one
other thought was that perhaps he was beginning to act a little
selfish--to think too much of his own comfort--and yet in the face
of his long deprivations she could not very well begrudge him any
temporary pleasure, either.
Clyde, not being sure of her real attitude, merely looked at her
and exclaimed: "Why, where would I get a hundred dollars, Ma?" He
had visions of his new-found source of wealth being dissipated by
such unheard of and inexplicable demands as this, and distress and
distrust at once showed on his countenance.
"I didn't expect that you could get it all for me," Mrs. Griffiths
suggested tactfully. "I have a plan to raise the most of it, I
