奇克夫人本人在片刻间也失去了她十分引以自豪的镇静，默默无言地望着那张美丽的年轻的脸，这张脸曾经长久地、耐性地、始终如一地照看过那张小床。可是她在恢复声音——它与镇静是同义的，它们实际上是同一个东西——以后，尊严地回答道：
“弗洛伦斯，我亲爱的孩子，你可怜的爸有时有些古怪；你向我问到他，那就是向我问一个我确实不敢自称是了解的问题。我相信，我对你爸爸的影响不比任何人小。可是我所能说的只是，他跟我谈得很少，我总共只见过他一、两次，每次不过一分钟；老实说，就是在那时候，我也没有看见他，因为他的房间是黑暗的。我曾对你爸爸说，‘保罗！’——当时我就是这样一字不差地对他说的——‘保罗！’你为什么不服点儿振奋精神的东西？你爸爸总是这样回答：‘路易莎，请你行行好离开我吧。我不需要任何东西。我一个人待着好。’卢克丽霞，如果明天要叫我到地方长官面前去起誓的话，”奇克夫人继续说，“那么我毫无疑问敢于发誓，他说过这些话。”
托克斯小姐表示钦佩地说，“我的路易莎总是这样有条有理！”
“总之，弗洛伦斯，”姑妈继续说道，“直到今天以前，我跟你可怜的爸爸几乎没有交谈过；今天我跟你爸爸说，巴尼特爵士和斯克特尔斯夫人写来了一封极其亲切的短简——我们亲爱的小男孩！斯克特尔斯夫人喜欢他极了，就像喜欢……
我的手绢在那里？”
托克斯小姐递上一块。
“这是一封极其亲切的短简，他们建议你去访问他们，换换环境。我跟你爸爸说，我觉得托克斯小姐和我现在可以回家了，这一点他完全同意；这时我就问他，他是不是反对你接受这个邀请，他说，‘不，路易莎，一点也不。’”。
弗洛伦斯抬起她那泪汪汪的眼睛。
“但是，弗洛伦斯，如果你宁愿待在这里，而不想现在去进行这次访问或跟我回家去的话——”
“我很愿意待在这里，姑妈——”回答的声音是微弱的。
“好吧，孩子，”奇克夫人说，“你可以待在这里。我得说，这是个古怪的选择。不过你总是古怪的。要是换了别人，不论是谁，到了你这样的年纪，又在经历了这样的事情之后，都是会高高兴兴离开这里的，这是人们意料之中的事情——我亲爱的托克斯小姐，我又找不到我的手绢了——”
“我不愿意觉得，仿佛应该避开这个家才好。”弗洛伦斯说，“我不愿意想到楼上的那个——他的房间空空荡荡，十分凄凉，姑妈。我目前宁肯留在这里。啊，我的弟弟呀！我的弟弟呀！”
这是自然的情感激动，不能加以压制；它甚至会从她捂在脸上的手指中间冲出来。那负担过重、疲惫不堪的胸膛有时必须有个排泄的孔道，否则里面那可怜的受伤的孤独的心就会像一只折断了翅膀的鸟那样挣扎扑腾，掉落在尘土之中的。
“好吧，孩子！”奇克夫人停了一下，接着又说道，“我无论如何也不愿意跟你说不客气的话，我相信，你也知道这一点。那么，你就待在这里，爱做什么就做什么。谁也不来干涉你，弗洛伦斯，而且我相信，谁也不希望来干涉你。”
弗洛伦斯点点头，悲伤地表示同意。
“我劝告你可怜的爸爸，他确实应该暂时换个环境，想法散散心，恢复一下精神，”奇克夫人说，“我的话刚说完，他就立刻对我说，他已经有了打算，想到乡下去一段短短的时间。说实在的，我真希望他很快就走。走得越早越好。不过我想他还得处理处理有关私人单据之类的事情，这些单据都是因为这次使我们受尽痛苦折磨的不幸事件所发生的。——我真闹不明白，我的手绢是怎么回事，它到哪里去了，卢克丽霞，我亲爱的，把您的信给我吧！——因此，他在他的房间里得忙上一、两个晚上。孩子，你的爸爸真不愧是我们董贝家里的人，如果要真有一个能当之无愧的人的话，”奇克夫人用托克斯小姐手绢的两个对角十分细心地把她的两只眼睛同时擦干。“他会作出努力的。不必为他担心。”
“姑妈，”弗洛伦斯颤抖着问道，“我就不可以做点什么事情使——”
“天主呀，我亲爱的孩子，”奇克夫人急忙打断她说，“你讲的是些什么话呀？如果你爸爸对我说——我已经把他的话原原本本地告诉你了——‘路易莎，我不需要任何东西。我一个人待着好。’——那么你以为他会对你说什么呢？你千万别在他跟前露面，孩子。别去梦想这种事情吧。”
“姑妈，”弗洛伦斯说，“我到我床上去躺躺。”
奇克夫人赞成她的这个决定，吻了吻她，就让她走了。可是托克斯小姐却假装去寻找丢失的手绢，跟着她上楼去，并偷出几分钟来想法安慰安慰她，尽管苏珊•尼珀表示出很不支持的态度。因为尼珀姑娘在她炽烈的热情中，把托克斯小姐贬损为一条鳄鱼；可是托克斯小姐的同情看来是真诚的，至少不是出于自私，这是个可取的优点——她这样做得不到什么好处。
难道就没有一个比苏珊更贴近更亲爱的人来支持那颗在极度痛苦中在努力奋斗的心了吗？难道就没有另一个脖子她可以搂抱，没有另一张脸她可以望着了吗？难道就没有另外一个人对这样深切的悲伤说上一句安慰的话了吗？难道在这凄凉的世界上，弗洛伦斯就这么孤独，没有给她留下任何别的东西了吗？没有。在失去母亲又失去弟弟的双重打击下——因为在失去小保罗以后，那第一个也是最大的损失就更沉重地压在她身上了——，苏珊是她唯一能得到的帮助。啊，谁能说得出，她首先多么需要帮助啊！”
最初，当住宅中的生活逐渐步入惯常的轨道，除了仆人和关在自己房间里的父亲之外，所有其他的人们都已离开时，弗洛伦斯不能做别的，她只是哭泣，在屋子里来回漫步，有时在悲凉的回忆突然引起的极度痛苦中飞跑到她自己的房间中，使劲地绞扭着双手，脸贴在床上，得不到任何安慰——除了剧烈的、无情的悲痛之外，再也得不到别的什么了。这通常是在看到一些跟小保罗亲切的感情紧密相连的场所或物品之后发生的；这就使这座悲惨不幸的住宅最初成了一个使她苦恼重重的地方。
但是，纯洁的爱在性质上并不会猛烈地、无情地长久燃烧。爱的火焰，由于其中粗俗的部分受到世俗的污染，所以它可能会折磨庇护它的胸膛；但是从上天降临的圣火却在心中柔和地闪耀，就像它降临在聚集在一起的十二个人的头上①，向他们每个人指明他的兄弟都笑逐颜开、安然无恙时的情形一样。当圣像被召唤
Chapter 19
Walter goes away
The wooden Midshipman at the Instrument-maker's door, like the hard-hearted little Midshipman he was, remained supremely indifferent to Walter's going away, even when the very last day of his sojourn in the back parlour was on the decline. With his quadrant at his round black knob of an eye, and his figure in its old attitude of indomitable alacrity, the Midshipman displayed his elfin small-clothes to the best advantage, and, absorbed in scientific pursuits, had no sympathy with worldly concerns. He was so far the creature of circumstances, that a dry day covered him with dust, and a misty day peppered him with little bits of soot, and a wet day brightened up his tarnished uniform for the moment, and a very hot day blistered him; but otherwise he was a callous, obdurate, conceited Midshipman, intent on his own discoveries, and caring as little for what went on about him, terrestrially, as Archimedes at the taking of Syracuse.
Such a Midshipman he seemed to be, at least, in the then position of domestic affairs. Walter eyed him kindly many a time in passing in and out; and poor old Sol, when Walter was not there, would come and lean against the doorpost, resting his weary wig as near the shoe-buckles of the guardian genius of his trade and shop as he could. But no fierce idol with a mouth from ear to ear, and a murderous visage made of parrot's feathers, was ever more indifferent to the appeals of its savage votaries, than was the Midshipman to these marks of attachment.
Walter's heart felt heavy as he looked round his old bedroom, up among the parapets and chimney-pots, and thought that one more night already darkening would close his acquaintance with it, perhaps for ever. Dismantled of his little stock of books and pictures, it looked coldly and reproachfully on him for his desertion, and had already a foreshadowing upon it of its coming strangeness. 'A few hours more,' thought Walter, 'and no dream I ever had here when I was a schoolboy will be so little mine as this old room. The dream may come back in my sleep, and I may return waking to this place, it may be: but the dream at least will serve no other master, and the room may have a score, and every one of them may change, neglect, misuse it.'
But his Uncle was not to be left alone in the little back parlour, where he was then sitting by himself; for Captain Cuttle, considerate in his roughness, stayed away against his will, purposely that they should have some talk together unobserved: so Walter, newly returned home from his last day's bustle, descended briskly, to bear him company.
'Uncle,' he said gaily, laying his hand upon the old man's shoulder, 'what shall I send you home from Barbados?'
'Hope, my dear Wally. Hope that we shall meet again, on this side of the grave. Send me as much of that as you can.'
'So I will, Uncle: I have enough and to spare, and I'll not be chary of it! And as to lively turtles, and limes for Captain Cuttle's punch, and preserves for you on Sundays, and all that sort of thing, why I'll send you ship-loads, Uncle: when I'm rich enough.'
Old Sol wiped his spectacles, and faintly smiled.
'That's right, Uncle!' cried Walter, merrily, and clapping him half a dozen times more upon the shoulder. 'You cheer up me! I'll cheer up you! We'll be as gay as larks to-morrow morning, Uncle, and we'll fly as high! As to my anticipations, they are singing out of sight now.
'Wally, my dear boy,' returned the old man, 'I'll do my best, I'll do my best.'
'And your best, Uncle,' said Walter, with his pleasant laugh, 'is the best best that I know. You'll not forget what you're to send me, Uncle?'
'No, Wally, no,' replied the old man; 'everything I hear about Miss Dombey, now that she is left alone, poor lamb, I'll write. I fear it won't be much though, Wally.'
'Why, I'll tell you what, Uncle,' said Walter, after a moment's hesitation, 'I have just been up there.'
'Ay, ay, ay?' murmured the old man, raising his eyebrows, and his spectacles with them.
'Not to see her,' said Walter, 'though I could have seen her, I daresay, if I had asked, Mr Dombey being out of town: but to say a parting word to Susan. I thought I might venture to do that, you know, under the circumstances, and remembering when I saw Miss Dombey last.'
'Yes, my boy, yes,' replied his Uncle, rousing himself from a temporary abstraction.
'So I saw her,' pursued Walter, 'Susan, I mean: and I told her I was off and away to-morrow. And I said, Uncle, that you had always had an interest in Miss Dombey since that night when she was here, and always wished her well and happy, and always would be proud and glad to serve her in the least: I thought I might say that, you know, under the circumstances. Don't you think so ?'
'Yes, my boy, yes,' replied his Uncle, in the tone as before.
'And I added,' pursued Walter, 'that if she - Susan, I mean - could ever let you know, either through herself, or Mrs Richards, or anybody else who might be coming this way, that Miss Dombey was well and happy, you would take it very kindly, and would write so much to me, and I should take it very kindly too. There! Upon my word, Uncle,' said Walter, 'I scarcely slept all last night through thinking of doing this; and could not make up my mind when I was out, whether to do it or not; and yet I am sure it is the true feeling of my heart, and I should have been quite miserable afterwards if I had not relieved it.'
His honest voice and manner corroborated what he said, and quite established its ingenuousness.
'So, if you ever see her, Uncle,' said Walter, 'I mean Miss Dombey now - and perhaps you may, who knows! - tell her how much I felt for her; how much I used to think of her when I was here; how I spoke of her, with the tears in my eyes, Uncle, on this last night before I went away. Tell her that I said I never could forget her gentle manner, or her beautiful face, or her sweet kind disposition that was better than all. And as I didn't take them from a woman's feet, or a young lady's: only a little innocent child's,' said Walter: 'tell her, if you don't mind, Uncle, that I kept those shoes - she'll remember how often they fell off, that night - and took them away with me as a remembrance!'
They were at that very moment going out at the door in one of Walter's trunks. A porter carrying off his baggage on a truck for shipment at the docks on board the Son and Heir, had got possession of them; and wheeled them away under the very eye of the insensible Midshipman before their owner had well finished speaking.
But that ancient mariner might have been excused his insensibility to the treasure as it rolled away. For, under his eye at the same moment, accurately within his range of observation, coming full into the sphere of his startled and intensely wide-awake look-out, were Florence and Susan Nipper: Florence looking up into his face half timidly, and receiving the whole shock of his wooden ogling!
More than this, they passed into the shop, and passed in at the parlour door before they were observed by anybody but the Midshipman. And Walter, having his back to the door, would have known nothing of their apparition even then, but for seeing his Uncle spring out of his own chair, and nearly tumble over another.
'Why, Uncle!' exclaimed Walter. 'What's the matter?'
Old Solomon replied, 'Miss Dombey!'
'Is it possible?' cried Walter, looking round and starting up in his turn. 'Here!'
Why, It was so possible and so actual, that, while the words were on his lips, Florence hurried past him; took Uncle Sol's snuff-coloured lapels, one in each hand; kissed him on the cheek; and turning, gave her hand to Walter with a simple truth and earnestness that was her own, and no one else's in the world!
'Going away, Walter!' said Florence.
'Yes, Miss Dombey,' he replied, but not so hopefully as he endeavoured: 'I have a voyage before me.'
'And your Uncle,' said Florence, looking back at Solomon. 'He is sorry you are going, I am sure. Ah! I see he is! Dear Walter, I am very sorry too.'
'Goodness knows,' exclaimed Miss Nipper, 'there's a many we could spare instead, if numbers is a object, Mrs Pipchin as a overseer would come cheap at her weight in gold, and if a knowledge of black slavery should be required, them Blimbers is the very people for the sitiwation.'
With that Miss Nipper untied her bonnet strings, and alter looking vacantly for some moments into a little black teapot that was set forth with the usual homely service on the table, shook her head and a tin canister, and began unasked to make the tea.
In the meantime Florence had turned again to the Instrument-maker, who was as full of admiration as surprise. 'So grown!' said old Sol. 'So improved! And yet not altered! Just the same!'
'Indeed!' said Florence.
'Ye - yes,' returned old Sol, rubbing his hands slowly, and considering the matter half aloud, as something pensive in the bright eyes looking at him arrested his attention. 'Yes, that expression was in the younger face, too!'
'You remember me,' said Florence with a smile, 'and what a little creature I was then?'
'My dear young lady,' returned the Instrument-maker, 'how could I forget you, often as I have thought of you and heard of you since! At the very moment, indeed, when you came in, Wally was talking about you to me, and leaving messages for you, and - '
'Was he?' said Florence. 'Thank you, Walter! Oh thank you, Walter! I was afraid you might be going away and hardly thinking of me;' and again she gave him her little hand so freely and so faithfully that Walter held it for some moments in his own, and could not bear to let it go.
Yet Walter did not hold it as he might have held it once, nor did its touch awaken those old day-dreams of his boyhood that had floated past him sometimes even lately, and confused him with their indistinct and broken shapes. The purity and innocence of her endearing manner, and its perfect trustfulness, and the undisguised regard for him that lay so deeply seated in her constant eyes, and glowed upon her fair face through the smile that shaded - for alas! it was a smile too sad to brighten - it, were not of their romantic race. They brought back to his thoughts the early death-bed he had seen her tending, and the love the child had borne her; and on the wings of such remembrances she seemed to rise up, far above his idle fancies, into clearer and serener air.
'I - I am afraid I must call you Walter's Uncle, Sir,' said Florence to the old man, 'if you'll let me.'
'My dear young lady,' cried old Sol. 'Let you! Good gracious!'
'We always knew you by that name, and talked of you,' said Florence, glancing round, and sighing gently. 'The nice old parlour! Just the same! How well I recollect it!'
Old Sol looked first at her, then at his nephew, and then rubbed his hands, and rubbed his spectacles, and said below his breath, 'Ah! time, time, time!'
There was a short silence; during which Susan Nipper skilfully impounded two extra cups and saucers from the cupboard, and awaited the drawing of the tea with a thoughtful air.
'I want to tell Walter's Uncle,' said Florence, laying her hand timidly upon the old man's as it rested on the table, to bespeak his attention, 'something that I am anxious about. He is going to be left alone, and if he will allow me - not to take Walter's place, for that I couldn't do, but to be his true friend and help him if I ever can while Walter is away, I shall be very much obliged to him indeed. Will you? May I, Walter's Uncle?'
The Instrument-maker, without speaking, put her hand to his lips, and Susan Nipper, leaning back with her arms crossed, in the chair of presidency into which she had voted herself, bit one end of her bonnet strings, and heaved a gentle sigh as she looked up at the skylight.
