饭饭TXT > 海外名作 > 《(精灵宝钻同人)Dancing with my punchlines》作者:LiveOakWithMoss【完结】 > Dancing with my punchlines.txt

第 14 页

作者:LiveOakWithMoss 当前章节:15405 字 更新时间:2026-6-22 23:47

“Now bear in mind,” said Lalwen, in a low, serious voice, “the psychological implications at play here. Am I bluffing? What’s my motivation? There’s no need to rush, no need to hasten your play – this bears consideration. Take your time.”

“Go fish,” said Caranthir, and cracked his gum.

“Damn it,” said Lalwen, and drew.

It was a hot day, for September, and the light wind coming through the open windows was a welcome relief in the sun-warm kitchen.

Caranthir waved his cards like a fan, stirring a breeze against his hot skin. “I told you we should have played poker.”

“I don’t play poker with you and your brothers anymore.”

“What? I’m not even that good, I lose to Curvo all the time… Got any Kings?”

“Exactly. I wouldn’t stand a chance against you. You’re used to playing the likes of your little brother, the most subtle and scheming genius this family’s seen since your father.” Lalwen handed over two cards.

“Well, then, you should have an advantage just like I do…”

“I didn’t grow up with your father, you forget. I was just his bratty little half-sister; he was out of the house before I was even born, and having babies before I was out of preschool, so I couldn’t learn to – ”

She was interrupted by the front door bursting open and a grey blur tearing into the kitchen.

“What-”

Lalwen hastily pulled her feet off the floor as the grey blur shot under the table and rocketed around for a while, letting off excited yips and loud snuffling noises.

“Yo, Dog, where you going?” Celegorm came into the kitchen, his hair wild and wind-tousled. “Aw, buddy, what are you doing under there?” He squatted and clicked his tongue. “C’mere, boy.”

The blur emerged at speed from under the table, overturning a chair in the process, and plowed into Celegorm’s chest, nearly knocking him of his feet as he laughed.

“What the hell is that?” Caranthir demanded.

“It’s a dog, dumbass,” said Celegorm, standing up with his arms full of what, once slowed down, appeared indeed to be a dog. “You like?”

“I would only know it’s a dog because that’s what you called it,” said Caranthir. “Tell me that’s not what you’re naming it.”

“He came with a name,” said Celegorm, as the dog licked eagerly at his face and squirmed until he put it back down. “Huan. But ‘Dog’ works just as well.”

Lalwen got up from her chair and crouched on the floor, scrutinizing the animal. It padded over to her happily and let her ruffle its ears. “He’s young, huh?”

“Still a puppy,” said Celegorm cheerfully.

“A puppy?” Caranthir looked deeply skeptical. “What’s he going to grow into, a dinosaur? He’s fucking enormous.”

“He’s an Irish Wolfhound,” said Lalwen, still examining Huan, who was submitting to her study with good grace. “Purebred, by the looks of him, and I bet he’s got a killer pedigree. Which means he must have cost a fortune.” She shot a look at her nephew. “How did you come by this pup, Tyelko?”

“Bought ‘im,” said Celegorm.

“Yeah, right,” said Lalwen, as Caranthir laughed. “Did you finally get a job none of us have heard about? I know your dad doesn’t give you kids that kind of pocket money, and my impression is that you spend most of the money you have on beer and weed.”

“Accurate,” said Caranthir.

“Shut up, Moryo, I buy my weed from you,” said Celegorm. “And anyway, I...got a deal on Huan. It was, ah, a discount.”

“A discount?” Lalwen and Caranthir exchanged dubious glances.

“Yeah. He was – on sale.”

“Why, did he not come with all parts included?” Caranthir was grinning, but Lalwen shook her head.

“You’d better hope he doesn’t have all parts included. Has he been neutered? What about his shots?”

“All taken care of,” said Celegorm, waving a hand. “The seller liked me, what can I say? Don’t worry about it.”

“That always makes me nervous,” said Lalwen, just as Caranthir said, “Where have we heard that one before?”

“Just chill out and accept the dog,” said Celegorm, as Huan barked happily. “Look, I have a friend who’s got an in, all right?”

“That makes it sound even sketchier, you weirdo,” said Caranthir. “Is he a black market dog?”

Celegorm looked annoyed, but was interrupted by the kitchen door opening again. Maglor came in, talking to a tall blond boy with a cheerful expression and very bright green eyes.

“Makalaurë,” said Caranthir loudly, “Tyelko brought home a beast, check it out.”

Maglor turned, just as Huan barreled into his legs, and his eyes widened in shock. “Tyelko – oh no, what now?”

“Everyone needs to calm the fuck down, it’s just a dog,” said Celegorm, but was distracted by Maglor’s guest. “Glorfindel? What the hell are you doing here, man?”

“Oh, right,” said Maglor, as Huan pushed him against the doorframe in his eagerness to greet him. “You two played together, didn’t you? I ran into him at the coffee shop – ouch, that was the door handle – and we got talking. He thinks he knows someone who can be the accompanist for my upcoming project.” Huan reared up to place his paws on Maglor’s waist, and Maglor pushed helplessly at him. “I’ve been looking for a decent flautist for ages, and he says – ”

“Let me give you a hand,” said Glorfindel, laughing, and knelt beside Huan, tugging him back. “Oof, hello. You look familiar.”

“It’s good to see you again,” said Celegorm, clapping Glorfindel on the back as he straightened up and Maglor went over to the sink to start scrubbing muddy paw prints off his jeans. “I hear you’re captain this year. Better you than one of those – ”

“Don’t start,” said Glorfindel, grinning. “Coach expressly told us that anyone who started up that ‘class rivalry bullshit’ again would be kicked off the team. And he had his ‘don’t fucking test me’ face on when he said it – you remember that one – so I’m taking him seriously.” He looked down at Huan, who was sitting at Celegorm’s side now, tail wagging furiously. “Speaking of whom, is this one of his? It looks just like his dog.”

“Does it?” said Celegorm evasively. “I guess…”

“Yeah, his dog was a show champ and all that, wasn’t it?” Glorfindel frowned, trying to remember. “I think Oromë said he lets his dog out as a – what do you call it, a stud? – sometimes. Did you get one of the puppies?”

“I dunno,” said Celegorm. Caranthir and Maglor were both listening, twin looks of curiosity on their faces. “Maybe.”

“Well, he looks just like Coach’s dog,” said Glorfindel, reaching down to scratch Huan’s head again. “Very cool. Anyway,” he said, turning back to Maglor, “I really should go, but here’s Ecthelion’s number and email address,” he scribbled briefly on a scrap of paper, “and I’ll tell him to expect to hear from you. I’m telling you, you won’t regret it, he’s great.” He smiled again and laid a hand on Celegorm’s shoulder. “It was good seeing you again. I’ll tell Coach I ran into you. You should come visit the team. I bet he’ll be glad to see you after all this time!”

“Sure,” said Celegorm uncomfortably. Maglor and Caranthir were scrutinizing him again, and now Lalwen was too, looking from him to his brothers and back.

“See you around,” said Glorfindel, oblivious to all this, and waving over his shoulder as he left. “Thanks for the coffee, Maglor, I’ll – oops, excuse me.” He dodged out of the way before he ran straight into the girl coming up the front steps.

“Your house really is like a train station,” said Lalwen, leaning against the table next to Caranthir and nudging him with her shoulder. “Do you always have this many visitors?”

Caranthir ignored her, his eyes brightening as the girl slipped through the doorway and looked around. “Haleth!”

Haleth raised a hand in greeting and started into the kitchen. “Sorry I’m late, there was – ” She broke off, her eyes falling on Lalwen. She froze.

“It’s okay,” said Caranthir. “We were just – Oh, I guess I should introduce you. This is my Aunt Irimë – ”

“Lalwen,” said Lalwen, and smiled crookedly, her eyes fixed on Haleth.

“Lalwen,” said Haleth, sounding a little dazed. “I mean, right. I’m Haleth.”

Caranthir frowned, looking between them.

“We’ve met,” said Lalwen lightly, and held out her hand. Haleth took it mutely. “She climbs at my gym.”

“Yes,” said Haleth. She seemed unable to articulate more than this, and Caranthir drew his brows together.

“You climb?” he said, and Haleth nodded. “I didn’t know that.”

“That’s because all we do is talk about school stuff when we’re together,” said Haleth, apparently regaining her tongue at last. “And fight about Ayn Rand.”

Lalwen laughed. “Oh god. You couldn’t pay me to sit in on those fights. I’ve had Thanksgiving dinners with Moryo, I know how he gets.”

“You’re – you’re his aunt?” Haleth seemed to be having a hard time looking at Lalwen straight on without blushing. “You don’t seem old enough…”

“Half-aunt,” said Lalwen, draping an arm around Caranthir’s neck. “I’m Fëanor’s baby half-sister. Moryo’s oldest brother is only about three years younger than me.”

“Oh.” Haleth examined the toes of her shoes.

Caranthir glanced between them again, feeling as if he’d been somehow left out of a key part of the conversation. “We’ve got a project to work on,” he said, and Lalwen released him and clapped her hands together.

“Right! I should be heading out anyway.” She kissed Caranthir on the cheek. “Say ‘bye to your brothers for me. I’ll try to swing by later in the week with take-out. And keep an eye on Tyelko, will you? That kid’s acting even weirder than usual. Good luck with living with both him and a dog.” She swung her bag over her shoulder and nodded to Haleth. “Nice seeing you again.”

“I’ll met you upstairs in minute,” said Haleth quickly, to Caranthir. “I need to – I think I forgot to lock my bike. Hang on.” She dashed out of the door after Lalwen.

-

“Lalwen. Wait!”

Lalwen turned at her whisper.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were Caranthir's aunt?”

Lalwen smiled. “I didn’t know you were his friend, Haleth. I just thought you were that pretty girl from the gym. We didn’t exactly exchange much information about ‘known acquaintances’…”

Haleth blushed again. “You won’t tell him, will you?”

-

They stood together on the lawn, talking quietly, Haleth shifting lightly from one foot to the other. Upstairs, Huan’s barking joined the sound of Maglor’s music. Usually, Curufin would be slamming out of his room to yell at everyone to keep the noise down, but today, like every other day of the past week, his door remained firmly closed and locked. He and Celegorm were pointedly ignoring each other for reasons that their brothers couldn’t get out of them, and Maedhros, fed up at last, had told everyone to stop trying.

“They’ll get over it, they always do,” he’d said, and shut himself in his room.

“He’s brooding again,” Caranthir had said, and Maglor had sighed.

“I think it’s because Findekáno hasn’t been around much recently, but I don’t know…”

Caranthir stood by the window, arms folded, a dark frown on his face as he watched his aunt talk quietly to Haleth.

Everyone in this damn family is keeping secrets.

Sit back and look for the warnings

Chapter Summary

Caranthir sleuths about. Questions are not quite answered. And we meet Galadriel’s hippie boyfriend and reunite with the rugby team.

Chapter Notes

0. (Relatively) long update, y’all. Consider it my apology.

1. Sorry for the delay; I got distracted first by Maedhros and Fingon breaking up four years ago, and then by…basically everything else. I was avoiding this story, I’m going to be honest. But I’m back on track, I think. Ideas are happening.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Caranthir generally avoided the university practice fields if he could help it. They always brought back unpleasant memories of getting kicked out of rec league soccer as a child – It was just for excessive biting, he thought in disgust. Like that sort of innovation shouldn’t be praised in a game where you’re not allowed to use your hands.

But today he suppressed his discomfort and bee-lined for where the rugby team was warming up.

To his surprise, he wasn’t alone in watching the practice. Galadriel was sitting on a blanket on the sidelines, deeply absorbed in a large textbook, while next to her a pale-haired boy with a feather tucked behind his ear was bent over and knitting busily on what looked like a very large jumper. Or perhaps it was a poncho; Caranthir couldn’t tell.

“Artanis,” said Caranthir, dropping down next to her without preamble. “What are you doing here?”

“Hm?” Galadriel looked up and blinked at him. “Oh, hello Carnistir. I’ve been meaning to tell you to congratulate your mother for me.”

“For what?”

“For getting that commission from Aulë.”

Caranthir frowned. “That’s…that’s not exactly public knowledge. I didn’t think she’d told anyone outside of the family…”

“Of course not.” Galadriel smiled. “But nevertheless, congratulate her for me.”

“Sure,” said Caranthir, distracted by Galadriel’s companion, who was counting stitches in his bulky sweater-poncho. “Hey, is that your own pattern?”

“Oh, right,” said Galadriel, laying down her book. “You remember my boyfriend, don’t you? Tele – ”

“Celeborn, please,” said the pale-haired boy, looking up with an amiable smile. “Yes, it’s my own pattern, but I’m not sure the cables are working. Carnistir, was it? I think we took Intro to Philosophy together.”

Caranthir squinted, trying to remember. “Uh, I don’t know if I...” Recognition hit. That group of hippie kids who sat in the front row and asked all the questions about free will… “I sold you pot in the hallway outside our classroom.”

Galadriel rolled her eyes and Celeborn nodded, looking pleased to be remembered. “You struck a very fair bargain.”

Not really, thought Caranthir, but you and your friends were either too good-natured or too naïve to haggle. “Thanks,” he said aloud.

“We’re here because we’re meeting Celeborn’s cousin – or is it half cousin? Step cousin? – after practice,” said Galadriel.

“Beleg is my mother’s brother-in-law’s stepson,” said Celeborn, casting off the final row of his poncho.

“I see what you mean about the cables,” said Caranthir, studying the garment. “They’re a little formal for that style, aren’t they?”

“I told you a sweater would be more practical,” said Galadriel, drifting back to her book. “Oh look, here comes Beleg.”

A tall boy whose bangs kept falling into his eyes jogged over, smiling warmly. “Celeborn! It’s good to see you. We’ll be done in an hour or so – are you okay to wait?”

“No problem,” said Celeborn. “We’ve got things to keep us entertained.” He pulled the poncho over his head and held it out in front of him, looking for loose threads. “Oh, and do you know–?”

“Caranthir, sure,” said Beleg, and held out his hand. “You’re one Celegorm’s brothers. I’m – ”

“Beleg Cúthalion,” said Caranthir, not taking his hand. “You’re a friend of Mablung’s, aren’t you?”

Beleg’s eyes flickered, but his smile didn’t falter. “Yes.”

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