第 27 页

“Oh, nothing,” said Curufin softly. “Just speculating about how desperate someone would have to be to engage in certain acts. Just wondering how pathetic someone would have to be, how little control they must have over their baser needs, to enter into an arrangement where they are clearly being used. And with no heed for who might get hurt in the process…”

“You little shit,” spat Caranthir. “Why the fuck are you like this? What’s wrong with you? Just stay out of my goddamned business, you – ”

“Okay, that’s enough.” Celegorm hauled Caranthir back and pushed him against the wall, hands heavy on his shoulders. “God, I am too hung-over for this. Go walk it off, Moryo. Get some fresh air. Punch a tree or something. You gotta chill out.”

“Tell him that,” said Caranthir, jerking his head toward Curufin, who’d folded his arms and was smirking at him. “Tell him to – ”

“I will,” said Celegorm patiently, “but first you need to clear your damn head, kid. Go on.”

He let go of Caranthir and Caranthir wheeled and stomped down the hall to the front door, slamming it behind him.

“Ooo-kay,” said Celegorm, turning at last to Curufin. “Want to tell me what that was all about?”

“You know Moryo,” said Curufin, coolly. “He blows things out of proportion. That temper of his – ”

“Cut the bullshit,” said Celegorm. “I recognize the symptoms. You were needling him. You were also possibly nosing into his personal life. Don’t fuck with me, Curvo, I was in exactly that position a couple months ago, I know how you can be. What happened?”

“Nothing,” said Curufin, and as Celegorm raised his eyebrows, he rolled his eyes and said, “Except that I walked in on him and Findaráto last night.”

“Oh,” said Celegorm, and gave a deep sigh. Then he couldn’t hold back a grin. “How fucking crazy is that, though? I caught them last week and I’ve been dying to tell someone. Christ, who saw that coming? Isn’t it – Huh.” He broke off, studying Curufin’s face. “You don’t think it’s as funny as I do.”

“What’s funny about it?”

Celegorm shrugged. “It’s kind of entertaining. Moryo and Findaráto? I mean, come on, I’d see Findaráto sleeping with…well, anyone before Moryo.”

“And the fact that he’s cheating on his girlfriend to do so?” Curufin demanded. “You find that funny, do you?”

“Well, no.” Celegorm frowned. “That’s pretty dickish behavior, sure. And I feel bad for Amarië. But I don’t actually know her very well, and mostly I’m kinda happy Moryo’s getting laid. It’s got to have been a while for him...”

“Oh, so that matters so much more than basic morality?” said Curufin angrily. “Him getting his cock sucked is of such vital importance that the circumstances don’t matter? God, I don’t understand you people at all. How can anything be that important? How can you so let yourself be ruled by - ”

“Hey, slow down,” said Celegorm, laying a hand on Curufin’s shoulder. Curufin yanked himself free, furious. “I’m not saying anyone should value getting their rocks off over basic decency. I think Findaráto’s acting badly. But that’s on him, and in the meantime, I’m not gonna be unhappy over Moryo getting a bit of action. I don’t think he’s at any risk of getting his feelings hurt – I mean, apart from by you – and I think it’ll help distract him from, y’know, getting his heart broken.”

“Swell,” snarled Curufin. “It’s all fine then. Just because he’s not the one with the girlfriend he can do whatever the fuck he wants. Sure. Whatever.”

Celegorm squinted at him. “Curvo…why are you so worked up about this?”

“I’m not worked up!” hissed Curufin. “Leave it be, Tyelko!”

“I’m just trying to understand,” said Celegorm. “Look, Curvo, wind it down a little, okay? Last time you were like this you brought my relationship down on my head, so I’m a little nervous. Hang on, is that it? Is this like me and Oromë all over again? Are you worried Findaráto’s going to hurt Moryo? Because that’s touching, but I don’t think – ”

“Yes, that’s it,” said Curufin flatly, turning away. “I just have his best interests at heart.” He pushed past his brother and back up the stairs.

“Curvo,” Celegorm called briefly, but let him go. He leaned against the wall, thinking, as he heard Curufin’s door click shut, and the bolt of the lock slide home.

“That’s not it,” Celegorm muttered to himself. “What the fuck.” He pulled his hat off to rake his fingers through his hair as a thought occurred to him. He grimaced and shook his head. “No, can’t be. That would be a fucking disaster...”

How to be a heartbreaker

Chapter Summary

This is a drama-free zone, son.

Chapter Notes

0. Dear Other Half: Thanks for the encouragement. You know who you are.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

It was an unseasonably warm day, for October. By the time Finrod had walked the mile or so to his own block, he’d pushed his sleeves up to his elbows and was wishing he had sunglasses – the brilliant sun was doing nothing to improve his headache. He ran rueful fingers over his throat as the sun beat down on his shoulders. “A scarf might be a little conspicuous on a day like this,” he murmured to himself, and sighed.

He turned onto the sidewalk in front of his apartment building, and drew up short, his fingers once again flying self-consciously to his throat.

A tall girl, her blonde hair caught back in a ponytail, was sitting in the vestibule of the building, her long legs propped against the opposite wall as she leaned back, absorbed in a book.

“Amarië?”

She looked up and a smile broke over her face. She jumped to her feet, stowing her book in her bag. “Ingo! I tried to tell you my team meeting got out early, but…you weren’t answering your phone, so I thought I’d swing by and see if you were around. And then I went upstairs and Artanis said you weren’t home yet.”

Finrod still hung back a little, uneasy. “Oh, yes…”

Amarië smiled at him. “Quite the night, was it?” Her smile slipped a little, and she looked inquisitive as she asked, “…but where were you? Artanis said you never came home last night. Did you spend the night at Maitimo and Findekáno’s?”

“No,” said Finrod, and cleared his throat. “Makalaurë gave me a ride home and I crashed at their place.” He managed an apologetic smile. “Forgive me for being hung-over and not my most coherent. I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

Amarië shrugged, drawing close. “Not too long.” She reached out and took his hand. “I feel like we haven’t gotten time alone together in ages. I know you probably have work, but – ”

“I do,” said Finrod quickly. “I’m so sorry, Amarië, but there’s a pile of work knee-deep in my office, and I really can’t justify putting it off any longer. I was planning on heading to campus just as soon as I changed. Maybe we could get dinner later in the week?”

“Sure,” said Amarië, though she was clearly trying not to look disappointed. “I miss seeing you, though.” She reached up to put her arms around his neck then, pulling him into a kiss. “I wish I could have seen you last night.”

“Me too,” said Finrod, but the hand he laid on her waist was distracted, and he pulled free of her quickly. “I really need to – ”

But Amarië held onto his arm. “Findaráto.”

“Yes?”

She was staring at him, and her eyes had dropped to his neck. “…What’s that?”

He raised a hand to his throat and tried to retreat further. “It’s – I’m not sure what –”

“Findaráto,” said Amarië, slowly. She reached up and pulled his hand away. “Is that a hickey?”

“No,” said Finrod, too quickly, and then closed his eyes in resignation. “…Yes.”

“Are you kidding me?” Amarië dropped his wrist and backed away.

“Amarië…”

“No.” She looked at him, furious and despairing. “Not again.”

-

Aegnor shuffled through a stack of newspapers, quickly become more and more short-tempered. “Artanis!”

“What?” Galadriel looked up from the counter, where she was buried in a large textbook.

“Did you throw away yesterday’s crossword?”

“No,” said Galadriel returning to her book.

“Then where is it?”

“I finished it.”

“Goddamnit, Artanis, it was my turn!”

“Whoops,” said Galadriel, unconcernedly, turning a page.

“This is the third time this week,” said Aegnor, slamming down the stack of newspapers. “You steal it Monday, Ingoldo steals it Wednesday, you steal it again yesterday – what’s the point of having a crossword schedule if no one follows it?” He broke off as voices came up from the street. He peered out the window, frowning, and his eyes widened. “Shit. Artanis – come here.”

“Unless it’s Will Shortz, in the flesh, I’m not interested.”

“It’s not. It’s Ingoldo, and Amarië. I think something’s going down.”

Galadriel immediately put her book down and slid off the stool. She and Aegnor stood shoulder to shoulder and craned their necks to look down at the sidewalk below. Aegnor carefully slid the window open enough so that they could hear.

“ – I told you, I told you, Findaráto, that I couldn’t do this again! It was literally my only condition!”

“I know, Amarië, and I’m sorry…”

“Tell me this was a one time thing. Tell me it was one drunken mistake, and you’re not –”

“I can’t.”

Aegnor, who had been leaning forward on the windowsill, slipped, banging his head against the glass. “Shit!”

Down on the sidewalk, Amarië and Finrod broke off and looked up. Galadriel and Aegnor immediately dropped to the floor. Galadriel reached up carefully above their heads and slid the window shut. She and Aegnor sat quietly, backs to the wall, legs stretched out in front of them. Aegnor let out a low whistle and twiddled his thumbs. Galadriel sat silent, an arrested look on her face.

“I knew something was coming,” she muttered finally. “I should have known it would be one of you.”

“Hey,” said Aegnor, but Galadriel wasn’t listening. She was staring into space, her eyes foreboding.

“I should have known he’d mess it up again.”

-

Celegorm knocked on Caranthir’s door, and hearing no response, went ahead and opened it, slipping in.

Caranthir was at his desk, poring over a binder full of densely scrawled notes. He looked up with a scowl as Celegorm entered. “Do you mind?”

“Not really.” Celegorm flung himself down on the bed, crossing his arms behind his head. “Findaráto’s already left, so I know I’m not going to walk in on any horrific scene that will scar me for life.”

“No,” said Caranthir, “but you will annoy the shit out of me. Go away.”

“Nah. Look, I want to talk about what happened earlier.” Celegorm paused, looking vaguely horrified at himself. “Jesus. That was the most Maitimo moment I’ve ever had. Let’s move past it, though. You wanna tell me about what happened with you and Curvo?”

“I’m sure he told you.” Caranthir threw down his pen and turned in his chair to face his brother.

“He told me he walked in on you guys last night.”

“Yeah.” Caranthir’s scowl deepened. “And let me tell you, of the things you want to see when you’re getting head, our scary little brother is, like, bottom of the list.”

Celegorm shuddered. “Yeah, no argument there. When the fuck did he see you?”

Caranthir shrugged uncomfortably, and Celegorm whistled.

“You hooked up at the party? You dog.”

Caranthir fiddled with the pen on his desk, turning red as he refused to meet Celegorm’s eyes. “It wasn’t my idea.”

“It wasn’t, huh? Man, Findaráto has hidden depths, there’s so much I want to know…No. Another time. Seriously, that was a stupid-ass move. Are you trying to get caught? Where were you?”

“Nelyo’s room,” muttered Caranthir.

“Oh, Moryo, you poor dumb jackass,” said Celegorm, shaking his head. “With the door unlocked? Okay, two things are going on here. One, you won’t last a month with this ‘secret affair’ bullshit, and two, Findaráto’s clearly got a ‘getting caught’ kink.”

“We were drunk, I don’t think – ”

“Please, Findaráto’s smart, even when he’s drunk. He couldn’t have locked the door? I can smell exhibitionist from a mile away. And look what happened: Curvo, possibly the most terrifying person in the world to know your secrets – and I can vouch for this – walked in on you. You poor fucker.”

“I don’t get why he’s being such an asshole,” burst out Caranthir. “I mean, what the fuck is his problem?”

“Curvo’s always had a strong moral streak,” said Celegorm, not mentioning his own suspicions. “He really took to heart all that stuff dad used to go on about.”

“Swell,” said Caranthir. “That’s great. Of all the things for him to get a righteous stick up his ass over…He doesn’t even know her.”

“Who, Amarië?”

Caranthir flinched a little at the name. “Yeah.”

“Well, it’s not about the people involved,” lied Celegorm, “it’s about him having some sort of standard he holds us all to.”

“He’s gonna be really fucking disappointed then,” said Caranthir, scratching a deep line in the margin of his notes, digging the tip of the pen in until the paper tore. “D’you know, I think this is the first time in his life he’s even shown any interest in anything I was doing.”

“He probably doesn’t want you to get hurt, either,” began Celegorm, but Caranthir shook his head.

“He doesn’t give a shit,” he said flatly. “He’s never given a shit about me. He doesn’t give a shit about any of us, except maybe you. And I dunno why you’re pretending to give a shit either. Everyone in this family has someone who’s got their back: you’re not mine, and I’m not yours. I’m not anyone’s. That’s how it’s always been.” He turned back to his notes, dark brows knotted. “Now go away, Tyelko. I’ve got studying to do.”

Celegorm opened his mouth to say something, then closed it again. Rolling to his feet, he paused briefly on his way out of the room to lay a hand on Caranthir’s shoulder.

“You’re wrong,” he said quietly. “I do have your back. And I’m here if you need me, okay?” He squeezed Caranthir’s shoulder, and left.

Caranthir stared down at his notes, but didn’t take in any of them. He felt the lingering warmth of Celegorm’s hand on his shoulder, and then heard, echoing in his memory, the words Curufin had spat at him.

“I imagine Findaráto finds you a rather easy mark…So desperate for attention, so ravenous for affection…”

He dug his pen into the page again, tearing a deep gouge into the paper.

That’s how it’s always been.

-

“Hum.” Aredhel rested her chin on Elenwë’s shoulder, studying the laptop resting on Elenwë’s knees. “Well, I’m perfectly qualified for that one.”

“Right?” Elenwë sounded delighted. “I think you’d be really good at it.”

“Except…”

“Yes?”

“Elenwë, you know I don’t speak Mandarin, right?”

Elenwë paused, and reread the job posting, a frown crinkling her brow. “Oh. Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a quick learner, right?”

“Elenwë.” Aredhel sighed. They were curled up on the couch together, Elenwë propped against Aredhel as they browsed job sites together. “Honestly, a lot of these don’t interest me. I’d like to do something more like my summer job.”