第 37 页

Okay

He bit his tongue, impatient.

What’s YOUR answer?

It’s the same as yours.

Heart pounding rather hard, Curufin had laid the phone down. Then, deliberately, he’d shut it off, and buried himself in work. Some part of him wanted desperately to talk everything over with Celegorm, but the rest of him rebelled.

He wouldn’t like it. He doesn’t trust Findaráto.

Do I trust Findaráto?

Still, he’d wandered aimlessly through the house, half looking for Celegorm and half trying to pace the tumult of his thoughts into the floorboards, to grind the flickering anxiety under his heel and leave it behind him in the dust.

He’d found Celegorm, eventually, with Maglor.

And Caranthir.

Suddenly, his desire to share anything had quite evaporated.

Celegorm had left for the evening, and Curufin had heard no more until the SOS came, around 9 o’clock.

Follow-up on your idiot shenanigans, why don’t you? he demanded of his absent brother, now. And follow up on me.

He jerked upright as he heard the door downstairs open, and waited, holding his breath, for the familiar tread on the stairs. He heard Celegorm’s footsteps come up the stairs, then pass by Curufin’s door on the way to his own room.

“Tyelko!” he hissed. The doors were notoriously thin, surely he’d hear.

The footsteps paused, then turned. Slowly, Celegorm pushed the door open. “Curvo?”

“Obviously.” Curufin crossed his arms and glared at his brother. “I’m glad you can answer in person, even if you have some objection to answering by text.”

Celegorm winced and raised his hand to his head. “Ahh. Sorry. I meant to reply, but-”

“But doubtless some other dramatic interlude was taking place.”

“Kinda.”

Celegorm crossed the room and sat down on the foot of Curufin’s bed. Curufin examined him.

“What are you wearing?”

“My clothes from last night.”

“Why?”

Celegorm rolled his eyes. “Because they’re what I was wearing when I went over there?”

“You don’t keep spare clothes at Oromë’s house? Hmm.”

Celegorm shot Curufin a deeply unamused look. “Knock it off.”

“Knock what off?”

“You’re doing that thing. That planting seeds of doubt thing. Don’t even pretend with me, Curvo, I know you and I’ve seen you do it before. You almost got Findekáno to stop talking to Maitimo for a month last year with your little ‘Nelyo and commitment’ bit.”

Curufin widened his eyes and opened his mouth to protest, but stopped, dropping the look of aggrieved innocence, and sighed. “Fine. Force of habit.”

“No shit. As if I didn’t feel like my relationship was on thin ice enough, what with nearly getting outed to mom and dad last night…”

“Yes, let’s talk about that.” Curufin tossed back the covers and got out of bed, padding over to the dresser to grab a sweater from his bottom drawer and pull some socks on. “What on earth were you thinking?”

“I was thinking, hey, going on a date with the guy I’m dating, what a fuckin’ novelty. Almost like what normal people do.”

“You aren’t normal people.” Curufin pulled the sweater over his head.

“Thanks, bud.”

“I mean your relationship isn’t exactly the norm, and therefore you can’t assume that you can just waltz blithely around like everyone else. Who was planning this thing?” Curufin gave Celegorm an accusatory look.

“Vána and Nienna, I dunno! It wasn’t a fuckin’ heist, Curvo, it was dinner.”

“If you’re going to treat your relationship like some covert action, then you have to be better at it than this. So yes, for all intents and purposes, it is like a heist.” Curufin’s sharp stare turned thoughtful, and he pushed up his sleeves. “You say his wife organized it? Hm. Now, if I wanted you two to be found out, that would a clever way to do it…How certain are you that she’s not trying to sabotage you?”

Celegorm groaned. “Oh my god, you are the most paranoid little shit. Just because that’s what you would do…”

“What is that? 30% certain? 25%?”

“I am positive she’s not trying to sabotage us. She has a girlfriend, Curvo, she’s Oromë’s friend, she doesn’t have any reason to break us up.”

“Maybe not,” said Curufin, a little disappointed. That would have been a far more interesting track to take. “In that case, base incompetence it is. What a waste.”

“What are the odds that dad would show up there?”

Curufin gazed at him pityingly. “This is the town our father lives in. It is the best restaurant in the area. Our father has impeccable taste. Our parents go out to eat on weekends. It was a Saturday night. You do the math.”

“But – ”

“The real question, honestly, is how you ended up in such a nice place.” Curufin curled his lip. “You look like a stripper in a secondhand suit.”

Celegorm looked down at himself. “I look awesome, and thanks for the compliment.”

“It wasn’t intended as such.”

“I know it wasn’t, assface.”

“Oh, now I see why they let you in. It was for your manners and gracious way of speaking.”

“God, Curvo, why do I even bother coming to you?”

“Because you’re doomed without me, you simpleton.” Curufin sighed. “At any rate, I trust you escaped unscathed.”

“Yeah, we got out fine.” Celegorm looked at his hands. “Managed not to break up, either, so…”

Curufin’s eyes narrowed. “He was going to break up with you?”

“What?” said Celegorm absently. “No. Hey, did you need to talk about something? I thought you sounded kind of…”

“Sounded? We didn’t speak.”

“Well, your text…”

“As impressive as your decoding skills are, you must have misread that one.”

Celegorm scrutinized him, and Curufin turned away, going to his desk and opening his laptop.

“You sure you don’t have something you need to talk about?”

Curufin stared at his computer screen as if absorbed, but he wasn’t taking any of it in. His phone buzzed on the bedside table, and he managed not to flinch, or look over his shoulder – it would only draw Celegorm’s attention to who might be texting him.

“Curvo?”

“No,” said Curufin. “There’s nothing.” He immersed himself in email then, until Celegorm got bored and let out a long sigh behind him. Curufin heard him drop back on the bed with a groan.

“I need a drink.”

“It’s not even noon.”

“I still need a drink. No, fuck, I need to get high. Where’s Moryo?”

Curufin shook his head, but his scorn was only perfunctory. Despite waiting all night for Celegorm to get home, the only thing he wanted now was for Celegorm to leave, so he could check his phone.

And let it be who I hope it is.

----

“This is better than the stuff you usually get.” Celegorm exhaled and looked appreciatively at the joint in his hand.

“Yeah, I got a deal.” Caranthir leaned forward to blow a stream of smoke out the open window and shook his head. “Way too good to waste on the idiot freshmen who buy from me.”

“But just lousy enough to waste on me, eh?” said Celegorm lazily. “I appreciate it, bro.”

“Yeah, well, don’t think you don’t owe me.”

“Not this again.” Celegorm took another hit and put his feet up on Caranthir’s desk. “Family is about sharing. Are you high yet?”

Caranthir rolled his eyes. “I am literally getting high with you as we speak; what kind of stupid-ass question is that?”

“I was waiting for your inhibitions to be lowered.”

“Oh, god.”

“So I could ask you prying questions.”

“You ask me prying questions all the time, dickhead.”

“Yeah, but maybe now you’ll answer them.”

Caranthir pulled his wool hat down low over his eyes – it was quite cold in his room, with the window open. “…Fine.”

Celegorm grinned. “Excellent. Now tell me what Findaráto is like in bed.”

“No.”

Celegorm sputtered indignantly. “You just – What – You said you’d answer me!”

“I lied. Why do you even care?”

“Look, you’re the only other interesting person I can talk to about this shit! Maitimo’s basically married, and boring; Curvo is a virgin who would set me on fire if I tried to talk about this with him; the twins are babies who should never have sex; and even though Makalaurë gets loads of pussy he’ll never tell me any good stories.” Celegorm scowled, looking peeved. “Honestly. But now you’re banging Findaráto, who’s frankly beyond hot, and I want the gory details, you son of a bitch.”

Caranthir took a drag of the joint, holding the smoke in his lungs a long time before he let out a breath, and said, “What do you wanna know?”

Celegorm crossed his legs and steepled his fingers. If it hadn’t been for the joint dangling from his lips, he’d have looked like he was conducting a job interview. “What’s he like?”

“Uh…unexpected.”

“Wazzat mean?”

Caranthir made a face, still embarrassed. “He…he likes…I think he likes the sneaking around bit. Or the getting caught bit. I think. He gets even more into it when we have to be quiet ‘cos people are around, which makes me think…I’unno. ”

“Yeah, called it. He’s an exhibitionist.” Celegorm tipped back in his chair, thinking. “Did he cheat on Amarië with people other than you?”

Caranthir shrugged. “We don’t talk about that stuff. Maybe?”

“I bet he did.”

“He likes…public stuff, too.”

Celegorm tipped forward again, the legs of his chair coming down with a bang. Caranthir flinched but Celegorm just leaned forward, agog. “Like what?”

“Like…doin’ stuff in the car, and his office on campus and shit.”

“Oh man. I am so proud of you. Following in my footsteps…Though gross, dude, I drive that car. Where’d you do it?”

“Side of Route 3.”

“Are you fucking KIDDING me?”

“Just oral stuff, not full-blown sex…”

“He gave you head on the side of the highway?”

“It was raining…”

“DAMN.” Celegorm paused, shaking his head. “Ok, well, this is the best time I’ve ever had getting high.”

Caranthir let his head tip back over the back of his chair. “D’you smoke with Oromë?”

Celegorm looked away, his delight fading slightly. “Naw, you kidding? He hates weed. Pretty sure he hates that I smoke at all, but he doesn’t say anything…”

“Would you quit for him?” Caranthir watched Celegorm intently.

Celegorm shrugged, still not looking at him. “Maybe if he asked me to.”

“Huh.”

Celegorm took another hit and switched back into his teasing, jocular tone. “Enough about me, back to you. And your sex life. Are you always on top?”

“What? Jesus, Tyelko.”

“Basic sex question, bro.”

“I mean…I dunno, it varies. Like. Sometimes he’s on top of me…” Caranthir’s ears were very red.

“No, dude, I mean – Are you ever the one on the receiving end, y’know?”

“Oh. No.”

Celegorm tsked. “Missing out.”

“It’s just how we always end up – I don’t even know if I want – It sounds…”

Celegorm watched, fascinated, as his brother groaned and pulled his hat even lower over his face.

“What’s it like…uh…” Caranthir squirmed. “…being on the receiving end, anyway?”

“Fucking amazing,” said Celegorm bluntly. “Give it a shot, yo.”

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

Celegorm rolled his eyes. “Do you think it hurts Findaráto every time you fuck him? Do you, like, not warm up at all first? Do you just dive right in?”

“No! I mean. Sometimes he wants me to move faster and not use as much – Um. But it doesn’t seem like I hurt him.”

“Right. It doesn’t have to hurt. Your first time, maybe it’ll be a bit uncomfortable, but go slow and if he knows what he’s doing…”

“Did you go slow your first time?”

“Fuck, no.” Celegorm looked reminiscent. “I was impatient as hell and probably would have damaged myself if Oromë hadn’t forced me to slow down. And I still walked with a limp all week.”

Caranthir looked a little horrified. “Yeah. Uh, your boyfriend…is all of him that big?”

“Better believe it, boy.”

“Aah.” Caranthir scrunched up his face. “That sounds painful.”

“Not if you do it right. And I bet Findaráto isn’t hung like Oromë is, anyway. I mean, is he?” Celegorm leaned forward on his knees. “Is Findaráto secretly packing?”

“Ok, now we’re done,” said Caranthir firmly. “Jesus. Where’s my joint?”

He was just reaching for the ashtray when the door banged open and they both leapt in their chairs. Celegorm swore loudly, and Caranthir slipped sideways and dropped his hat.

A slight figure wearing enormous boots and a bulky down vest was standing in the doorway, eyes snapping furiously under her brimmed cap. The impact of her fierce expression was slightly lessened as she drew up short and scrunched up her face. “It smells like a skunk’s ass in here.”

“Haleth!” Caranthir sat up with an effort, staring. “What. What are you doing here?”

“I came to talk to you.” Haleth looked around. “Oh, weed.” She grabbed Caranthir’s joint from the ashtray and took a long drag. “That’s going to help.”

“Hey! You…you can’t just barge in without knocking,” said Caranthir, still several steps behind. “I could have been doing anything in here.”

“Like what?”

“Eheheh,” said Celegorm, and scooted down in his chair as they both looked at him, Caranthir with a warning glint in his eyes. “Hum. Say, the grain of this wood is wild…”

Haleth turned back to Caranthir, hands on her hips. “I came to talk to you. You have been being so weird to me lately.”

Caranthir looked like he was pulling himself together with an effort. “I have not.”

“You HAVE.” Haleth exhaled impatiently. “You’re pretending like nothing happened, but you’re also avoiding me and not answering my texts – Have you forgotten we’re supposed to be working on our term project, jackass? We’re two weeks behind already. We need to talk about what’s going on, okay? I know it’s really weird for you that I’m dating your aunt, and I totally get that. But I don’t do this avoidance thing!”

“Yeah, apparently, or you would have avoided dating my aunt in the first place.”

Haleth set her jaw, looking grimly determined. “And...okay, I know you liked me, too, and all that...”

Caranthir glowered. “Picked up on that, did you?”

“Oh, the five million times you sort-of-not-really-but-totally-did ask me out kinda tipped me off.” Haleth stomped over and heaved herself up on the desk in front of Caranthir so he couldn’t look away from her. “I said no. Why didn’t you hear me?”

“I did hear you! I stopped asking, didn’t I?”

“But you didn’t move the fuck on. I told you no for the first time last year and you still thought you had a chance. You wouldn’t just be normal around me because you kept thinking, ‘Oh, she’ll come around eventually, she’ll realize I’m right, and then–’ ”

“Yeah,” said Caranthir loudly. “Yeah, maybe I did think that. Why shouldn’t I? We get along, we have a good time, don’t we? We’re good friends, why wouldn’t we – ”

“Good friends does NOT necessarily mean we’d make a good couple.” Haleth kicked out with her heavy boots and Caranthir hastily backed up. “You know we’d make a terrible couple, right? Me and you?”

“No, we wouldn’t,” said Caranthir stubbornly.

“I dunno,” said Celegorm. “I’m kinda with Haleth on this one.”