第 49 页

Celegorm blinked into the darkness, reveling in the thoughtless static of his mind. One hand trailed off the bed, just brushing the fur of the dog curled at his bedside. At one point, late into the night, he half thought he heard footsteps on the stairs and in the hallway, but assumed he was imagining it – either way, he couldn’t bring himself to care.

But the second time he heard a noise, he was sure he wasn’t imagining it. He heard the front door click open, followed by quiet but decisive footsteps on the stairs. They crossed the hallway to his room, and didn’t hesitate before the doorknob turned with a snick. He didn’t turn over to look at the door, but heard someone come in; the sound of someone slipping off their shoes. The visitor crossed the room, and the bed dipped as someone got into bed with him. He finally closed his eyes, hot tears stinging his eyelids, when a familiar arm wrapped around his waist, and familiar lips brushed a kiss to the back of his neck.

“Hey,” said a soft voice, as a body slid warm and solid along his back. “I hear you’ve had a rough couple days.”

He didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to. There was a light hum at his ear, and the arm around his waist tightened. “I’m right here, babe. It’s gonna be okay.”

And for the first time in days, he let his body truly loosen from tight rigidity, as more tears slipped out from under his eyelids and Aredhel held him close.

Chapter End Notes

3. The other theme of this chapter, apart from ‘before, after and during coitus’ is, of course, doorknobs.

Troubled spirits on my chest

Chapter Notes

0. Hmm, warnings…protective/upset parents in the beginning. Later, sexual content alluded to. Nothing explicit, nothing explosive. (No flying plates I promise)

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Thunk

Thunk Thunk

BANG

Nerdanel took another nail from between her lips and positioned it carefully on the statue’s head. She wielded her hammer expertly.

Thunk

Thunk

BANG

Originally, it seemed she had been going for a whimsical topiary of nails to make up her figure’s hair, but now Amrod, who was peeking around the corner of the door to her studio, thought her statue looked more like a voodoo doll gone awry.

Nerdanel had always been a deeply expressive artist.

Fëanor was pacing the sunlit studio, as he had been pacing it for almost an hour now. His hands were clasped tightly behind his back, but as his voice rose and fell, he periodically couldn’t keep himself from throwing his hands in the air, or raking his fingers through his usually neat dark hair.

“Our children. Our children, Nerdanel – where did we go wrong? How does this keep happening, how do they keep ending up in these entanglements that entirely – ”

“Don’t even think about comparing this situation to Maitimo’s,” said Nerdanel, sending another nail into the bust before her, this one sinking almost all the way in with one blow. Behind the door, Amrod winced. “This is entirely different, and you know it. Maitimo fell in love with a boy more or less his age who happened to be the son of your estranged stepbrother. All the issues there were primarily yours, not his. I never had a problem with their relationship; I always trusted Findekáno. This,” she grabbed another handful of nails, “is entirely different. This is a betrayal of our trust by someone we’ve known and respected for years. This is someone we trusted with our son, whom we considered a positive influence and a significant mentor and role model. For god’s sake, Fëanaro, Tyelkormo spent half a summer living with him!” She pulled in a deep breath, her shoulders tight, her cheeks flushed but her lips bloodless. “I can’t believe we allowed that. I can’t believe we considered it okay. Do you think that’s when…”

“I do.”

Nerdanel smacked her hammer down against nothing in particular, opening a long crack in her workbench.

“Exactly. Exactly.” Fëanor resumed pacing. “I should have known better than to trust that man – he associates with the likes of that crowd. His sister is married to Tulkas, for god’s sake, I think he’s a friend of Manwë. I’ve never trusted any of them, that whole cabal; especially after that farce of a trial...It makes sense that he’s friends with them. The irony that I’m considered hardly better than a criminal, while they…”

“Focus, Fëanaro.”

“This is why we need to go to the university immediately. I should call my lawyer while I’m at it.”

“I’m not sure we should rush into that.”

“What? You just said – You feel the same as I do – ”

“Of course I do. But the situation is hardly straight-forward.” Nerdanel pushed a few loose strands of red hair out of her eyes and laid down her hammer. “Tyelkormo is an adult, and he’s made it clear to us that he will not make it easy for us to act. I think we’d be foolish to assume that us destroying this man’s career will push Tyelko away from him – it may do just the opposite. And it may push him away from us, entirely.”

“He doesn’t mean that,” said Fëanor shortly. “He’s always been over-emotional and out of control – he doesn’t mean what he says half the time. He still lives in the house we own, he still lives with his brothers – ”

“And do you really think that will last? I take his threats seriously, Fëanaro, I think you underestimate him at your cost. Next thing you know, he’ll be moving out of the house and in with – ”

“No.”

“He would. I swear he would. And then we have a son who won’t speak to us, who’s living with the man who took advantage of him and who has no reason to feel anything but ill-will towards us after all this has happened…”

Fëanor swore fervently. “But we can’t do nothing! We can’t just allow – ”

“I know. But I refuse to lose our boy. And then,” Nerdanel lowered her voice, and Amrod leaned forward to listen, Amras hanging onto his shoulder, “then there’s the fallout if we ask for an investigation. It’s going to be in the papers again, you know it will be – a prestigious university, an award-winning coach, and most of all – the son of an infamous family.”

“Bah,” said Fëanor loudly. “Like I care if my name gets dragged up again. No one could argue that I am not in the right on this one…”

“I’m not thinking of you. I’m thinking of the boys.”

“Tyelkormo won’t – ”

“We have more than one son, Fëanaro. And we have two in particular who are still young, and in school, and are still dealing with the fallout of past scandals. You know how cruel high schoolers can be.”

“Ambarussa are tougher than you give them credit for.”

“They shouldn’t have to be this tough! And I’m saying…”

Their voices dropped, too low for Amrod and Amras to hear without craning around the doorway all together. Instead, they quietly got up and tiptoed back into the main house.

Back in their room, Amrod dropped down on his bed. “Well. That’s interesting. Do you think it’s what it sounds like?”

Amras perched on the dresser and fiddled absently with an old penknife of Caranthir’s that he had stolen years ago. “Y’mean is Tyelko screwing around with his old coach?”

“Yep.”

“Yep.”

They contemplated this for a while.

Amrod wrinkled his nose, looking vaguely affronted. “I can’t believe he didn’t tell us.”

“I know.” Amras slid off the bureau and dropped to the floor in front of Amrod. “The asshole. I bet all the others know.”

“For sure. Curvo knows everything.”

“And Nelyo hovers.”

“And Moryo’s a sneak.”

“And Káno’s a mom.”

“So that means they were helping him cover it up.”

“And they left us out! The nerve.” Amras scowled. “We’ve helped them out before. That whole thing with calling dad from the warehouse district…”

“We never learned what that was about, actually. Do you reckon it was something to do with this?”

“Maybe. Ugh, those dicks. They’d be lost without us, and yet they leave us out.”

“If we’d been involved maybe dad wouldn’t be flipping a nutty right now.”

“And mom wouldn’t be perforating a statue.”

They fell quiet again, thinking.

“It’s kinda crazy, though,” said Amrod slowly. “Tyelko sleeping with his coach…”

“Yes.” But Amras didn’t seem put off. Instead, he gave a wriggle of excitement. “But dude, do you realize what this means?”

“Tyelko’s boyfriend is gonna get fired?”

“No. It means that Oromë Aldaron could be our brother-in-law.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tyelko’s not gonna get married. Also, who would be dumb enough to marry Tyelko?”

“But we could have a LEGEND in the family.”

“A legend that mom clobbers with a hammer.”

“She’d get over it.”

“Dad wouldn’t.”

“He played for the national squad.”

“I don’t think dad cares...”

“Think Tyelko could get us some signed merch?”

“We should probably give it some time before we ask. Two more days, at least.”

* * *

It was Maglor who opened the door when the bell rang, Maglor who took an involuntary step back from the man standing on their front step – He has to be at least as tall as Nelyo and twice as broad. Jeez.

But Oromë’s smile was warm enough, even though his eyes held sadness and concern, and Maglor felt himself relax slightly. I should resent him for all the trouble he’s brought down on us, but…I can see how he would be easy to like.

“Hello,” said Oromë softly, “You must be – ” He looked Maglor up and down, as if cross-referencing some mental list, and said, “Maglor?”

“That’s me,” said Maglor. “I…I assume you’re here for Tyelko.”

“I haven’t been able to reach him,” said Oromë, and this time the anxiety in his face and voice was unmistakable. “He isn’t replying to my calls or texts, and his phone rings straight to voicemail. I wanted to make sure he’s okay.”

“Yeah, he is, he’s upstairs. His phone is, uh, out of commission right now.” Maglor winced slightly.

Oromë let out a breath, looking like some of his worst fears, at least, were being laid to rest. “Is it all right if I see him?”

What would Nelyo do? I wish he were here to tell me. “Yeah, I think so.” Maglor stepped aside, half expecting Oromë to need to duck as he stepped through the doorway. “He’s up in his room, he’s been there since…anyway, he’s up there.” Maglor pointed. “Take a left and then his is the room with – well, you’ll probably be able to tell.” Celegorm’s door not only had half the wood haphazardly replaced following an indoor soccer incident when he’d kicked straight through it, but there was also a Beleriand U. Rugby pennant pinned to it.

“Thank you.” Oromë hesitated, looking like he was going to say more – like he wants to apologize for everything, Maglor thought, in a moment of intuition – but he just nodded appreciatively at Maglor and headed up the stairs.

-

Celegorm was lying on his bed, tossing a rugby ball into the air and catching it again. He was so absorbed in this activity that he didn’t notice someone had come into his room until a hand reached out and caught the ball as it reached the peak of its trajectory. Celegorm sat up at once and spun quickly towards the door. Oromë palmed the ball and smiled crookedly at him.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“Oromë,” Celegorm croaked, and reached for him.

Oromë let the ball drop to the ground as Celegorm’s hands closed painfully hard on his upper arms and dragged him to the bed. He held Celegorm tightly, pulling him close, and Celegorm clung to him, arms hard around his shoulders, face pressed against Oromë’s neck.

“Hey,” murmured Oromë, “hey, my wild one, I missed you…”

Celegorm didn’t say anything, his face still hidden in Oromë’s shoulder, and Oromë stroked his hair gently.

“How are you doing?”

Celegorm made a rough, disbelieving noise into Oromë’s neck, and Oromë smiled. “I’m sorry. We can work our way up to that question.” He ran his hand down Celegorm’s back, feeling the knotted muscle, the tension there as perceptible as if it had been written across his skin. They didn’t say anything for a long while, holding onto each other, Celegorm refusing to unknot his fingers from Oromë’s hair, Oromë’s arm wrapped tightly around Celegorm’s waist as his free hand worked the knots from Celegorm’s back.

Finally, they loosened their holds on each other slightly, enough for Celegorm to pull back and look up into Oromë’s face, and Oromë’s heart smote him at the brightness in Celegorm’s eyes. He kissed him then, trying to pour as much comfort and reassurance as he could into the gesture, and he felt Celegorm exhale into their kiss, a soft sound of relief that nevertheless carried the unspoken weight of three days apart – three days too long.

They settled down together onto the bed, Oromë leaning back against the wall, Celegorm pressed to his side, head on his shoulder.

Oromë let his fingers linger on the back of Celegorm’s neck. “I’ve never seen your room before.”

Celegorm gave a short laugh. “Right, you’ve really been missing out.”

Oromë looked around the room, finally registering Huan’s presence in the dog bed in the corner. There was a careless comfort to the room: old jerseys and varsity letters tacked to the walls, a bookshelf that contained more trophies than books, and the windowsills and desk scattered with the things that Celegorm would randomly collect – anything that caught his eye on the street, in the woods, on the water. Shells and honeycomb and bits of sea glass; lichen and scraps of hide and shotgun shells; bones and half-bricks and carefully preserved insects – even a few dried flowers. Oromë recognized an aster he’d tucked behind Celegorm’s ear in a rare moment of amused whimsy, on one of the first hikes they’d taken after getting back together. “It feels very you.”

“A total fucking mess? Yeah, that seems accurate.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Oromë kissed Celegorm’s temple. “I like seeing the space you inhabit.”

“Weirdo.”

“It’s a good thing you put up with me regardless.” Oromë nuzzled at Celegorm’s hair as Celegorm leaned into him. “Can I ask how you’re doing now?”

“Oh, fucking peachy.”

“That bad?”

“The worst.” Celegorm closed his eyes and tightened his fingers in Oromë’s shirt. He was pressed so close it felt like he was trying to crawl inside Oromë’s very skin. Oromë held him tighter. “I don’t want to get into it now. But. Has there been any news on your end?”

Oromë wanted to ask more – about the level of despair and guilt in Celegorm’s eyes, about the mysteriously ‘out of commission’ phone – but he restrained himself. “Your father hasn’t gone to the school yet.”

Celegorm raised his head, frowning. “Really? How do you know?”

“I think I would have heard something pretty immediately.”

“Huh. I wonder why he’s…” Celegorm’s voice trailed off. “He’s probably just gathering his forces. Getting his lawyers, talking shit out with mom…”

“Nothing you said to him had any– ”

“Zero fucking impact. Big surprise. I’m not gonna be able to convince him on any of this; when he gets an idea in his head, it’s set.”

Oromë nodded; he’d predicted as much. “I suppose that’s what I expected. But the fact that he hasn’t done anything yet means I can do something on my end. Tyelko – I’m going to go to the AD and the administration and come clean about our relationship.”