第 69 页

Celegorm and Curufin stared after him, the scent of lilac dying in the air, while Huan gave a happy whuff of farewell.

“He’s got some nerve,” said Celegorm finally. “Trying to tell us what to do. Who does he think he is?”

“I know, tell me about it. Presumptuous, sanctimonious prat. And he calls us unnecessarily dramatic?”

“No shit.”

They both stared at the door a while longer, then Curufin turned briskly to Celegorm. “If you’re still planning on running errands, I could use some more paper.”

Celegorm shrugged his sweatshirt straight, freeing his hair from the hood. “What kinda paper? Toilet paper? Paper towels?”

“No, you simpleton, notepaper, for school. Engineering pads, to be specific.”

“Dude, I was planning on going to, like, the 7-11.”

“If you walk three more blocks you’d be by a Staples…”

“If you walk three more blocks you’d be all set, then.”

“Fine,” said Curufin, heading to the door. “I’ll go with you. Let me grab my jacket.”

“Cool.” Celegorm grabbed Huan’s leash, Curufin pulled on his jacket, and side-by-side, they headed out into the bright sunshine, still talking.

“He’s right about one thing, though. You’re not my guard dog.”

“Hah. Shows what you know, peanut.”

Chapter End Notes

1. I can't guarantee that there will be a chapter update next Thursday, fyi. I'm traveling for the next week (my little bother is graduating from college of all things, and I have to go tell embarrassing stories about him to his frat brothers); I'm also helping my partner move across the country for a summer job and dealing with that transition. I didn't mean to have Aredhel and Elenwe's long-distance situation so clearly mirror my own, but hey! Art imitates life, or vice versa, or something. I promise I'm not drunk and crying about it though (yet). Anyway, re: next Thursday update: you never know, but I figured I should lower expectations right off the bat. <3

2. ILLUSTRATIONS FOR THIS CHAPTER OMG. First! Finrod + lilac by sirins-tree :3

Second! Last scene of the chapter - genderbent by Snartha. AMAZING.

Third! Finrod+lilac portrait, by Silje. Just. spectacular.

Now we soar on the live wire

Chapter Summary

In which we experience a first date, some digital communications, and a fight.

Chapter Notes

0. Warnings for first dates, light allusions to alcohol abuse, and oral sex. All in separate scenes, amazingly.

See the end of the chapter for more notes

To: “Makalaurë” <mightyvoice@gmail.com>

From: “Ríanellë” <garlandgirl@gmail.com>

Subject: hey friend hey

Dear Magsabags,

I bring you greetings from the north! I miss the city already :((((

Quick, before I forget: Track 12 (what we’ve been calling Salt Crusade, I think). I was listening to the recording I had on my phone and I realized the bridge is all wrong. I’m rewriting it as we speak and I’ll record it on my phone and send it so you guys can listen and see if you agree – but I feel confident that doing it in a minor chord will be way way better. Maybe we can have a skype session when I get done with work, if you two aren’t in the studio (or rolling like pimps down 5 th ave, what whaaaat, don’t pick up too many hot girls without me.)

Other things! I’m back at work, trying not to feel all dejected and blah to be back. As you asked, I have been sneakily eyeballing your brother to make sure he is in one piece etc etc. He looks good (I mean he always looks good, but – hang on, I’m gonna stop before I dig myself into a hole here) and apparently he got into some teaching fellowship program? Did you know that? So he’s all freaking out and getting ready to start that this summer, I guess, and studying like mad for this math teacher test. He says he wanted to teach social studies (poli sci major and all that) but no one needs more social studies teachers, and so he’s going to try the math thing. More power to him; I haven’t done math since high school and if I had to relearn it now my brain would actually coalesce into sponge cake. But you know all this about Maedhros already, don’t you? Because you’ve talked to him, haven’t you? HAVEN’T YOU.

You told him, Mags, YOU TOTALLY TOLD HIM.

So yesterday he was trying to get the students to break out into small groups, and he said, “Okay, let’s break into threeso- ” and then he caught himself, and looked at me, and turned bright red, and choked on his tongue, and stopped talking. And I said, “Groups of three, kids, groups of three,” and then asked him if he needed to go get a drink of water. He did.

YOU TOLD HIM.

But he’s being an adult about it (mostly) and seems to have his blushes under control, which is good, because he’s a grown human adult and all that and we work with children. So. I shall say no more.

(but you totally told him)

I’m so bummed I’m not going to see your first performance this weekend. I have no doubt you and Dai will be awesome and bring down the house. He’s got stage presence out the ass, I know, but don’t undersell yourself – you are compelling as hell when you’re performing, and you’ve got mad skills to boot. Try not to compete with each other, try to work with each other, because seriously, when you do, no one’s better. I heard it in the studio, hell, I heard it in Dai’s apartment, I hear it every time you guys get out of your heads and your weird posturing and just let yourselves play.

You know this. This is your sweet spot.

I should go, recess is almost over and I’m typing this on my phone like a mad thing and Maedhros is probably wondering why I’m not helping him set up the afterschool tables.

Say hi to Dai for me. More later.

xx

Ría~

* * *

Curufin dug through his bureau drawers, cursing quietly under his breath. Part of his frustration had to do with the fact that there was something small and panicky rocketing around in his chest that was screaming you have nothing to wear and will look like a fool and all is destined to failure, but the majority of his frustration was that he, of all people, was falling into the worst stereotype in the book.

“Nervous before a first date,” he muttered, as he held up a shirt critically and then threw it back into the drawer with a hiss of rejection, and tried not to be even more annoyed by the fact he’d used the phrase ‘first date’. “Nervous about what to wear, pathetic, this is the stupidest… I am better than this…”

He finally settled on a simple collared shirt, a pair of almost new dark wash jeans (he’d discarded slacks as too formal, but kept going back and forth on the matter), and all that remained was choosing an over-layer. He rummaged through his sweaters with increasing temper. When had everything he owned started to look so frumpy and poor quality? Why was everything in such hideous shades? What kind of low-performance materials did clothing manufacturers use these days, anyway? His hand settled in relief on a soft, charcoal-grey sweater, exactly the color of his eyes. Yes, perfect; easy, classic, simple – His heart rate briefly slowed as he half dragged it out to put on – before he remembered.

At once, he shoved it back into the drawer with an exclamation of disgust.

When more time than he cared to admit had elapsed, and half a dozen times the same grey wool returned to the corner of his eye as the only ideal option, he gave a cry of fury, jerked the drawer out of the bureau entirely and upended it on the floor, before giving the bureau itself a sharp kick for good measure.

“Ooh, nice touch,” said a voice.

Curufin whirled around to see Celegorm leaning in his doorway, watching with good-humored interest.

“How long have you been there?”

Celegorm shrugged. “I heard you starting to go crazy about 20 minutes ago, so I decided to watch and wait for the break to actually happen. Shoulda tipped me off that you were so far gone that you didn’t even notice me come in, but man, dumping your clothes on the floor? A-plus. Killer move. Super adult.”

Curufin pressed his lips together, all too aware that it only served to make him look petulant. “The drawer,” he said, through clenched teeth, “sticks abominably. This bureau is a piece of garbage, I’ve always said so. I was…trying to fix it.”

“Yeah, sure. That’s how I like to fix shit too.” Celegorm eyed the mess on the floor, and the other clothes strewn on the bed. “This is the messiest any room you’ve occupied has been since you were a fetus. Wanna tell me why you’re freaking out?”

“No.”

“Wanna give me a decent lie about it then?”

“Furniture repair.”

“Right. Of course. Can I get you a hammer for that furniture repair of yours? Or better yet, a stiff drink? A sedative?”

“All you need to get is out.”

“Whatever you want,” said Celegorm, and crossed the hallway back to his room. “But,” he called, as if an afterthought, over his shoulder, “you shouldn’t bother with a sweater today, anyway. It’s going to be warm, you can get away with that light jacket of yours and you’ll be fine. It looks good on you, too.”

Curufin made sure Celegorm’s door had clicked shut behind him before letting out a quiet sigh of relief and going to his closet to grab the jacket in question.

Perfect.

* * *

Irissssseeeeee

Hey Tyelko what’s up

my DICK

gross

you love it.

no but seriously I’m just shitting around waiting for something to happen

boreddddd as helllllll

no work today?

nope. big job next week though thank god

i’m almost outta $$

and no boyfriend today either?

nope. he’s wth his sister. how u?

Meh

meh?

Mehemehehemeh. I’m not doing good in this place

u in ur apt?

Yeah. it’s too fucking quiet. My brain won’t shut up.

So I try to drown it, you know

uh huh

you need a drinking buddy? drinking alone is bad for u

Everything about this is bad for me.

I am bad at being alone. I hate this place.

What, beleriand?

No, my apartment.

I thought I wanted to be done with roommates, but living alone sucksss.

I am not the type for it.

I am sooo claustrophobic/agoraphobic/anxious/depressed/lonely rn

huh

That all you got? You’re useless, Feanorion.

well actually i had this idea after the other night…

Uh oh

i gotta run it by curvo first. i was actually gonna try him today but thn I walked into his room n it was like a bomb had gone off

so i think ill wait til after his ‘‘’’date’’“”

DATE?!?

ye lets not go there im wrking at ‘being cool with it’

Hahaha ok

anyway i have a propoisiton 4 you but i gotta talk to the peewee 1st

i’ll get back to you

Are you considering what I think you’re considering?

nope

You ARE

mebbe. wouldja be into it if i was?

I might be crazy for saying this…but yeah. yeah I totally would

then i’ll just hafta ask curvo wont i ;)

Good fucking luck he hates me

he doesnt hate you. he’s afraid of you

Much better

anyway. i’ll get back to u. stop drinking now k?

Yea

Srsly tho

Yea

I will

Thanks.

* * *

Finrod met Curufin downtown at the corner of 5th and Aros, as they’d agreed. He looked effortlessly stylish in a light shirt cuffed to the elbows and slim-cut jeans; even his hair managed to look artfully windblown, and Curufin stared at him with a mixture of resentment and appreciation.

Finrod smiled at him. “Hello.”

“Hello.”

“You look nice.”

Curufin rolled his eyes. “Not even a minute in and we’re already resorting to clichés.”

“Not even a minute in and you’re already calling me out on them.”

“Touché.”

“Shall we?” Finrod turned and started down the street. For a moment, Curufin had thought he was going to hold out his arm, or take his hand, but he was relieved that Finrod kept his hands at his sides, the only point of contact between them the occasional brush of their shoulders.

“Well?” demanded Curufin at last, when he could take it no longer. “Where are you taking me?”

“Goodness, you make it sound like I’m abducting you.”

“Close enough, as far as I’m concerned. Where are we going?”

“I have been thinking about our conversation,” said Finrod, apparently not hearing his question. “And turning it over in my mind, for the implications and so on.”

“Which conversation?” Curufin couldn’t figure out what to do with his arms. When he let them swing at his side, his fingertips brushed against Finrod’s, and the next thing he knew he’d do something inane like grab Finrod’s hand, and he didn’t think he could stand the embarrassment of that. He shoved them, instead, deep into the pockets of the jacket he was glad Celegorm had suggested.

“The one we had at Bëor’s,” said Finrod. “About our relationship.” Curufin made a tsking sound and Finrod grinned. “Or whatever you want to call it.”

“Fine. But what were you thinking about? I gave you a list,” Curufin warned, “of things I won’t do.”

“Yes, it was that list I was thinking of.”

“Of which you were thinking.”

“Pedant.”

“Philistine.”

They glanced sideways at each other, and Curufin bit the inside of his cheek to keep a half smile from slipping across his face. “Get on with it already.”

“I was thinking about the stargazing rule, and how if it was going to be done, there should be no ‘necking on picnic blankets’.”

“Yes,” said Curufin, trying to figure out where Finrod was going with this. “Why, were you hoping to negotiate the terms? It’s too early, and too urban, for stargazing, anyway.”

“No, I was thinking very seriously about the ‘if we’re looking at stars, we should be being scientific about it’ part.”

“And?”

“And I thought of the perfect place for our first date. Sorry, our ‘first outing as intimate acquaintances’, if the terminology bothers you so.” Finrod stopped, and Curufin walked into him. Finrod half turned, steadying him with a light hand at his waist, and for a moment they were face to face, their bodies brushing together, Finrod’s hand on Curufin’s side. Curufin swallowed as their eyes met, but Finrod just raised a brief hand to brush against his cheek before turning away. “How do you feel about observatories? Purely scientific, I promise, and I shall do no necking whatsoever – unless, of course, you want me to.”

Curufin looked up at the familiar dome. He’d been so distracted by the novelty of this excursion, and the confusing tension of trying to figure out what to do with his hands and to figure out what to do with Finrod, and if he should act differently, or the same, or different but better, that he hadn’t even noticed their trajectory - a novel experience in itself.

“Ah,” he said, processing. “Not bad, Felagund.”

“High praise indeed, Fëanorion,” said Finrod, and held out his hand. After only the briefest hesitation, Curufin took it, and followed him through the gates.

-

Fifteen minutes later they were back out on the street.

Finrod put his hands in his pockets and walked along, staring thoughtfully at the sky. Curufin brooded next to him.