①见《圣经·路加福音》第七章，第四十四至四十八节。 .22

“迪韦尔诺瓦太太来过了，”纳尼娜看见我们进门就说。

“她走了吗？”玛格丽特问道。

“走了，坐夫人的车子走的，她说这是讲好了的。”

“很好，”玛格丽特急切地说，“吩咐下去给我们开饭。”

两天以后，普律当丝来了一封信，以后的两周里，玛格丽特已经不再那么莫名其妙地发愁了，而且还不断地要求我为这件事原谅她。

但是马车没有回来。

“普律当丝怎么不把你的马车送回来？”有一天我问。

“那两匹马里有一匹病了，车子还要修理。反正这里用不着坐车子，趁我们还没有回巴黎之前把它修修好不是很好吗？”

几天以后，普律当丝来看望我们，她向我证实了玛格丽特对我讲的话。

两个女人在花园里散步，当我向她们走去的时候，她们就把话题扯开去了。

晚上普律当丝告辞的时候，抱怨天气太冷，要求玛格丽特把开司米披肩借给她。

一个月就这样过去了，在这一个月里玛格丽特比过去任何时候都要快乐，也更加爱我了。

但是马车没再回来，披肩也没有送回来。凡此种种不由得使我起了疑心。我知道玛格丽特存放普律当丝来信的抽屉，趁她在花园里的时候，我跑到这个抽屉跟前。我想打开看看，但是打不开，抽屉锁得紧紧的。

接着我开始搜寻那些她平时盛放首饰和钻石的抽屉，这些抽屉一下就打开了，但是首饰盒不见了，盒子里面的东西不用说也没有了。

一阵恐惧猛地袭上了我的心头。

我想去问玛格丽特这些东西究竟到哪儿去了，但是她肯定不会对我说实话的。

“我的好玛格丽特，”于是我这样对她说，“我来请求你允许我到巴黎去一次。我家里的人还不知道我在哪里，我父亲也该来信了，他一定在挂念我，我一定要给他写封回信。”

“去吧，我的朋友，”她对我说，“但是要早点回来。”

我走了。

我立即跑到普律当丝的家里。

“啊，”我开门见山地跟她说，“您老实告诉我，玛格丽特的马车到哪儿去了？”

“卖掉了。”

“披肩呢？”

“卖掉了。”

“钻石呢？”

“当掉了。”

“是谁去替她卖的？是谁去替她当的？”

“是我。”

“为什么不告诉我。”

“因为玛格丽特不准我告诉您。”

“那您为什么不向我要钱呢？”

“因为她不愿意。”

“那么这些钱派了什么用场呢？”

“还账。”

“她还欠人家很多钱吗？”

“还欠三万法郎左右。啊！我亲爱的，我不是早就跟您讲过了吗？您不肯相信我的话，那么现在总该相信了吧。原来由公爵作保的地毯商去找公爵的时候吃了闭门羹，第二天公爵写信告诉他说他不管戈蒂埃小姐的事了。这个商人来要钱，只好分期付给他，我向您要的那几千法郎就是付给他的。后来一些好心人提醒他说，他的债务人已经被公爵抛弃了，她正在跟一个没有财产的青年过日子；别的债权人也接到了同样的通知，他们也来讨债，来查封玛格丽特的财产。玛格丽特本来想把什么都卖掉，但是时间来不及，何况我也反对她这样做。帐是一定得还的，为了不向您要钱，她卖掉了马匹和开司米披肩，当掉了首饰。您要不要看看买主的收据和当铺的当票？”

于是普律当丝打开一只抽屉给我看了这些票据。

“啊！您相信了吧！”她用有权利说“我是有理的”那种女人的洋洋自得的口气接着说，“啊！您以为只要相亲相爱就够了吗？您以为只要一起到乡下去过那种梦一般的田园生活就行了吗？不行的，我的朋友，不行的。除了这种理想生活，还有物质生活，最纯洁的决心都会有一些庸俗可笑、但又是铁铸成的链索把它拴在这个地上，这些链索是不容易挣断的。如果说玛格丽特从来不骗您，那是因为她的性格与众不同。我劝她并没有劝错，因为我不忍心看到一个可怜的姑娘吃尽当光。她不听我的话！她回答我说她爱您，绝不欺骗您。这真是太美了，太富有诗意了，但这些都不能当作钱来还给债主的呀。我再跟您说一遍，眼下她没有三万法郎是没法过门的。”

“好吧，这笔钱我来付。”

“您去借吗？”

“是啊，老天。”

“您可要干出好事来了，您要跟您父亲闹翻的，他会断绝您的生活来源，再说三万法郎也不是一两天内筹划得到的。相信我吧，亲爱的阿尔芒，我对女人可比您了解得多。别干这种傻事，总有一天您会后悔的。您要理智一些，我不是叫您跟玛格丽特分手，不过您要像夏天开始时那样跟她生活。让她自己去设法摆脱困境。公爵慢慢地会来找她的。N伯爵昨天还在对我说，如果玛格丽特肯接待他的话，他要替她还清所有的债务，每月再给她四五千法郎。他有二十万利弗尔的年金。这对她来说可算是一个依靠，而您呢，您迟早要离开她的；您不要等到破了产再这样做，何况这位N伯爵是个笨蛋，您完全可以继续做玛格丽特的情人。开始时她会伤心一阵子的，但最后还是会习惯的，您这样做了，她总有一天会感谢您的。您就把玛格丽特当作是有夫之妇，您欺骗的是她的丈夫，就是这么回事。

“这些话我已经跟您讲过一遍了，那时候还不过是一个忠告，而现在已几乎非这样做不行了。”

普律当丝讲的话虽然难听，但非常有道理。

“就是这么回事，”她一面收起刚才给我看的票据，一面继续对我说，“做妓女的专等人家来爱她们，而她们永远也不会去爱人；要不然，她们就要攒钱，以便到了三十岁的时候，她们就可以为一个一无所有的情人这么个奢侈品而自己掏腰包。如果我早知今日有多好啊，我！总之，您什么也别跟玛格丽特说，把她带回巴黎来。您和她已经一起过了四五个月了，这已经够好的了；眼开眼闭，这就是对您的要求。半个月以后她就会接待N伯爵。今年冬天她节约一些，明年夏天你们就可以再过这种生活。事情就是这么干的，我亲爱的。”

普律当丝似乎对她自己的一番劝告很得意，我却恼怒地拒绝了。

不单是我的爱情和我的尊严不允许我这样做，而且我深信玛格丽特是宁死也不肯再过以前那种人尽可夫的生活了。

“别开玩笑了，”我对普律当丝说，“玛格丽特到底需要多少钱？”

“我跟您讲过了，三万法郎左右。”

“这笔款子什么时候要呢？”

“两个月以内。”

“她会有的。”

普律当丝耸了耸肩膀。

“我会交给您的，”我继续说，“但是您要发誓不告诉玛格丽特是我给您的。”

“放心好了。”

“如果她再托您卖掉或者当掉什么东西，您就来告诉我。”

“不用操心，她已什么也没有了。”

我先回到家里看看有没有我父亲的来信。

有四封。

Chapter 19

IN the first three letters, my father expressed his concern for my silence and asked the reason for it. In the last, he made it clear that he had beeninformed of my changed way of life, and announced his arrival in the very near future.

I have always felt great respect and a genuine affection for my father. So I wrote back saying that the reason for my silence was that I had been away travelling for a while, and I asked him to let me know on which day he proposed to arrive so that I could be there to meet him.

I gave my servant my country address and left orders that he was to bring the first letter that came postmarked C. Then I set off again immediately for Bougival.

Marguerite was waiting for me at the garden gate.

Her look was anxious. She threw her arms around my neck and could not stop herself asking:

'Did you see Prudence?'

'No.'

'Why did you stay so long in Paris?'

'I found some letters from my father which I had to answer.'

A few moments after this, Nanine came in. She was out of breath. Marguerite stood up, went over and spoke to her softly.

When Nanine had gone, Marguerite sat down beside me once more and, taking my hand, said:

'Why did you deceive me? You went to Prudence's, didn't you?'

'Who told you?'

'Nanine.'

'And who told her?'

'She followed you.'

'So you told her to follow me?'

'Yes. I thought there must have been a very good reason to make you go up to Paris like that. You've not left my side for four months. I was afraid that something awful had happened or that perhaps you were going to see another woman.'

'Silly girl!'

'My mind's easy now. I know what you did, but I still don't know what you were told.'

I showed Marguerite my father's letters.

'That's not what I asked. What I'd like to know is why you called on Prudence.'

'To see her.'

'You're lying, my dear.'

'All right then. I went to ask her if the horse was better, and if she'd finished with your shawl and your jewels.'

Marguerite flushed, but said nothing.

'And, ' I continued, 'I found out to what use you'd put the horses, shawls and diamonds.'

'And you're angry with me?'

'I'm angry with you for not thinking of asking me for whatever you needed.'

'In affairs like ours, as long as the woman has something of her self- respect left, she must shoulder any number of sacrifices herself rather than ask her lover for money and in so doing taint her love with mercenary motives. You love me, I know you do, but you have no idea just how weak are the ties that bind the love men have for girls like me. Who knows? Perhaps one day, when you were short of money or feeling annoyed, you'd have come round to thinking that our affair was a carefully worked- out plot! Prudence talks too much. I didn't need those horses! I've saved myself money by selling them: I can manage without, and now I don't have to spend anything on them. As long as you love me, that's all I ask. And you can love me just as much without horses and shawls and diamonds.'

She said all this in so natural a tone of voice that there were tears in my eyes as I listened.

'But, my sweet Marguerite, ' I answered, lovingly pressing my mistress's hands in mine, 'you must have known that some day I'd find out about your sacrifice, and that the day I did find out, I'd never have allowed it.'

'And why not?'

'Because, dearest girl, I do not intend that the affection you truly feel for me should leave you the poorer by even a single piece of jewelry. Like you, I don't ever want you to think, when things are hard or you're feeling angry, that such bad times would never have happened if you'd lived with somebody else. Nor can I stand the thought that you should ever regret living with me, even for a moment. A few days from now, your horses, your diamonds and your shawls will be returned to you. You need them as much as life needs air. It may be ridiculous, but I'd rather have you lavish than frugal.'

'Which is to say you don't love me any more.'

'Don't be silly!'

'If you really loved me, you'd let me love you in my own way. But you persist in thinking of me as though I'm some girl who can't live without all this luxury, someone you still think you have to pay. You are ashamed to accept proof that I love you. In your heart, you're thinking of leaving me some day, and you're being very careful to put your scruples beyond suspicion. You're quite right, my dear, but I had expected better.'

And Marguerite stirred, as though she were about to get up. I held her back a moment, saying:

'I want you to be happy. I don't want there to be anything that you can reproach me for. That's all.'

'Even so, we shall go our separate ways!'

'Why, Marguerite? Who can separate us?' I exclaimed.

'You. You won't take me into your confidence by saying exactly where you stand, and you're vain enough to want to keep me in my place. You want to keep me in the luxury to which I was accustomed, but you also want to maintain the moral distance between us. You're the one. You don't consider that my feelings are sufficiently disinterested to want to share what money you have with me so that we could live happily together. No, you'd sooner ruin yourself. A slave to a stupid prejudice, that's what you are. Do you really think I compare a carriage and bits of jewelry with your love? Do you imagine I think happiness consists of those empty pleasures which people make do with when they've got nothing to love, but which seem so unimportant when they have? You'll pay my debts, you'll sign away all you have and you'll be my keeper! And how long will that last? Two or three months ?and then it'll be too late to start the life I'm offering you, for then you'd be kept by me, and that's something which no self- respecting man could accept. Whereas at the moment, you've got eight or ten thousand francs a year on which we can manage. I'll sell everything I don't need, and by investing the proceeds I'd have a steady two thousand a year. We'll rent a nice little apartment and live there together. In summer, we'll come down to the country, not to a house like this, but to something smaller, just big enough for two. You've no ties, I'm free, and we're young. For heaven's sake, Armand, don't make me go back to the life I had to lead once!'

I could not answer. My eyes brimmed over with tears of gratitude and love, and I threw myself into Marguerite's arms.

'I wanted, ' she went on, 'to arrange everything without telling you. I wanted to pay my debts and get my new apartment ready. In October, we would have reteurned to Paris and it would have been too late to say no. But since Prudence has told you everything, you'll have to agree before and not after. Do you love me enough to say yes?'

I could not hold out against such devotion. I kissed Marguerite's hands with great feeling and told her:

'I shall do whatever you want.'

And so what she had decided was agreed between us.

Then she became wildly exhilarated. She danced, she sang, she went into raptures about how homely her new apartment would be, and was already asking me in what part of Paris it should be and how it should be laid out.

I could see she was happy and very proud of this arrangement which seemed as though it would bring us together for good.

Which was why I had no wish to be any less keen than she was.

In a moment, I decided what course my life was to take. I worked out how I stood financially, and made over to Marguerite the income from my mother's estate, though it did not seem anything like an adequate return for the sacrifice which I was accepting.

There remained the allowance of five thousand francs which my father made me and, however things turned out, this annual allowance would always be enough to live on.

I did not tell Marguerite what I had decided, for I was quite convinced that she would refuse to accept my deed of gift.

The money in question derived from a mortgage of sixty thousand francs on a house which I had never even seen. All I knew was that each quarter, my father's solicitor, an old family friend, handed over seven hundred and fifty francs against my signature.

The day Marguerite and I came to Paris to look at apartments, I called at his office and asked him how I should set about transferring this income to another party.

The good man thought that I was ruined, and asked me questions about why I had decided to take such a step. Now, since I was going to have to tell him sooner or later in whose favour I was making the deed of gift, I decided to confess the truth there and then.

He did not raise any of the objections which his position as solicitor and friend entitled him to make, and he assured me that he would see that everything was arranged for the best.

Of course, I urged him to the greatest discretion with regard to my father, and left him to join Marguerite who was waiting for me at Julie Duprat's, where she had preferred to stay rather than go and be lectured by Prudence.

We started looking for apartments. Marguerite found all the ones we saw too expensive, and I thought them too ordinary. Even so, we did agree in the end, and, in one of the quietest parts of Paris, decided on a modest lodge which was situated at a good distance from the main house.

Behind this small lodge there was a delightful garden which was part of the property. It was enclosed by walls high enough to separate us from our neighbours, but not so high that they restricted the view.

It was better than we had hoped for.

While I went back to my apartment to arrange to vacate the premises, Marguerite went to see a dealer who, she said, had already done for one of her friends what she was now going to ask him to do for her.

She came for me in the rue de provence, quite delighted. The man had promised to pay all her debts, give her a receipt in full, and let her have around twenty thousand francs in exchange for relinquishing all her furniture.

You can see form the sum realized by the auction that this good man of business stood make upwards of thirty thousand francs out of his client.

We set off back to Bougival in high spirits. As we went, we continued telling each other about our plans for the future which, with the help of our thoughtlessness but especially our love, we saw in the rosiest of lights.

A week later, we were having lunch when Nanine came in and told me that my servant was asking for me.

I told her to show him in.

'Sir, ' he said, 'your father has arrived in Paris, and asks you to return to your apartment at once. He's waiting for you there.'

The news was the simplest thing imaginable, and yet, as we took it in, Marguerite and I exchanged looks.

We scented trouble in this turn of events.

Which was why, though she did not intimate to me anything of her reaction which I shared, I responded by holding out my hand to her:

'There's nothing to be afraid of.'

'Come back as soon as you can, ' murmured Marguerite as she kissed me. 'I'll be waiting by the window.'

I sent Joseph on ahead to let my father know I was on my way.

And two hours later, I was in my apartment in the rue de Provence.

在前三封信里，父亲因我没有去信而担忧，他问我是什么原因。在最后一封信里，他暗示已经有人告诉他我生活上的变化，并通知我说不久他就要到巴黎来。 我素来很尊敬我的父亲，并对他怀有一种很真挚的感情。

因此我就回信给他说我所以不回信是因为作了一次短途旅行，并请他预先告诉我他到达的日期，以便我去接他。

我把我乡下的地址告诉了我的仆人，并嘱咐他一接到有C城邮戳的来信就送给我，随后我马上又回到布吉瓦尔。