所有事物都有其内在的固有属性，都有好与坏两面，这取决于用途。比方说玫瑰上的刺，蜜蜂身上的刺，狮子的攻击性，小羚羊的怯弱，这些都既是好的也是不好的，取决于他们的用途。攻击性过强或太胆小的动物都可能还没发育完全就死掉了。而人类有能力审视自己，指导自身变化，有能力进行进化。
Most of us are born with attributes that both help us and hurt us, depending on their applications, and the more extreme the attribute, the more extreme the potential good and bad outcomes these attributes are likely to produce. For example, highly creative, goal- oriented people who are good at imagining the big picture often can easily get tripped up on the details of daily life, while highly pragmatic, task-oriented people who are great with the details might not be creative. That is because the ways their minds work make it difficult for them to see both ways of thinking. In nature everything was made for a purpose, and so too were these different ways of thinking. They just have different purposes. It is extremely important to one’s happiness and success to know oneself—most importantly to understand one’s own values and abilities—and then to find the right fits. We all have things that we value that we want and we all have strengths and weaknesses that affect our paths for getting them. The most important quality that differentiates successful people from unsuccessful people is our capacity to learn and adapt to these things.
我们大多数人生来具备的特质，既会帮助我们，也可能伤害到我们，根据用途而有别。程度越极端，特质带来的积极或消极影响就相对应越大。例如，创造力很强、目标很清晰，善于把握大局的人可能就会在生活细节上吃亏。而重实务、关注具体任务、能完美处理细节的人可能不怎么有创造力。因为我们思维的特性，很难两者兼顾。事事都存之有理，不同的思维方式也存之有理，因其有不同的存在目的，这对于个人幸福感和自身了解极为重要，尤其是了解自身价值和能力，这样才能进一步找到合适的定位。人人都有珍视之物，都有渴望之事，都有影响我们实现梦想的优缺点。区分成功人士与平庸之辈最重要的品质就是学习能力和适应能力。
Unlike any other species, man is capable of reflecting on himself and the things around him to learn and adapt in order to improve. He has this capability because, in the evolution of species man’s brain developed a part that no other species has—the prefrontal cortex. It is the part of the human brain that gives us the ability to reflect and conduct other cognitive thinking. Because of this, people who can objectively reflect on themselves and others —most importantly on their weaknesses are—can figure out how to get around these weaknesses, can evolve fastest and come closer to realizing their potentials than those who can’t.
和别的物种不同，人类能够进行自身反思，对周遭事物展开思考，进而获得学习与提高。人类拥有这些能力是因为在进化过程中大脑形成了前额叶皮层，这是别的生物所没有的。它使得人类具备自省、开展其他认知思维的能力。鉴于此，人类能客观地反思自己和别人，最重要的是反思自身的缺点，指出解决这些缺点的办法，能最快进化、开发潜能。
However, typically defensive, emotional reactions—i.e., ego barriers—stand in the way of this progress. These reactions take place in the part of the brain called the amygdala. As a result of them, most people don’t like reflecting on their weaknesses even though recognizing them is an essential step toward preventing them from causing them problems. Most people especially dislike others exploring their weaknesses because it makes them feel attacked, which produces fight or flight reactions; however, having others help one find one’s weaknesses is essential because it’s very difficult to identify one’s own. Most people don’t like helping others explore their weaknesses, even though they are willing to talk about them behind their backs. For these reasons most people don’t do a good job of understanding themselves and adapting in order to get what they want most out of life. In my opinion, that is the biggest single problem of mankind because it, more than anything else, impedes people’s abilities to address all other problems and it is probably the greatest source of pain for most people.
然而某些抵抗性的情绪反应，如自我设障，阻碍着我们进步的过程。这些情绪由大脑内杏仁体掌管。鉴于这种反应的存在，大多数人都不爱反省自身缺点，即便他们都知道反省缺点是避免出现问题的重要一步。大家尤其讨厌别人挖掘自己的缺点，令人深感冒犯，从而产生还击或逃离的反应。其实有人指出自己的缺点很重要，因为自己很难发现自身缺点。大多数人都不喜欢指出别人的缺点，不过背地里倒是挺愿意讨论别人的缺点。所以芸芸众生，真正了解自己的人甚少，也就无法适应环境、实现梦想了。我认为，这是人类面临最简单却最大的问题，深深阻碍着人们解决问题的能力，也是大多数人感到痛苦的根源。
Some people get over the ego barrier and others don’t. Which path they choose, more than anything else, determines how good their outcomes are. Aristotle defined tragedy as a bad outcome for a person because of a fatal flaw that he can’t get around. So it is tragic when people let ego barriers lead them to experience bad outcomes.
有人能克服自我设障这种情绪反应，有些人则做不到。选什么路，就会走向何种结果。亚里士多德认为悲剧是人类无法克服致命弱点而带来的不好结果。如果人们被自我设障这种情绪牵着鼻子走，碰了一鼻子灰，就是悲剧。
The Personal Evolutionary Process
个人成长过程
As I mentioned before, I believe that life consists of an enormous number of choices that come at us and that each decision we make has consequences, so the quality of our lives depends on the quality ofthe decisions we make.
我提过，人生由大量选择构成，我们要依次做出抉择，得到结果，所以生活质量取决于我们所作抉择的质量。
We aren’t born with the ability to make good decisions; we learn it.We all start off as children with others, typically parents, directing us. But, as we get older, we increasingly make our own choices. We choose what we are going after (i.e., our goals), which influences our directions. For example, if you want to be a doctor, you go to med school; if you want to have a family, you find a mate; and so on. As we move toward our goals, we encounter problems, make mistakes, and run into personal weaknesses. Above all else, how we choose to approach these impediments determines how fast we move toward our goals.
我们不是天生就会做出明智的决策，是通过学习才拥有这种能力的。我们从小都是和大人一起成长，尤其是父母，他们指导我们的生活，但日渐长大后我们就要靠自己做选择了。我们选择追寻什么样的目标影响着我们成长的方向。例如，你想成为一名医生，就会攻读医学院校，你想组建家庭，就会先找到伴侣，诸如此类。实现目标的征途中，我们遇到困难，犯错，发现自己的缺点。选择何种方式应对这些困难，决定着我们实现梦想的速度。
Of course it is true that people are born with differences in their various innate abilities. However, judgment is primarily learned.
当然，人们各种与生俱来的能力都确实存在差异，但判断力基本是靠学习获得的。
I believe that the way we make our dreams into reality is by constantly engaging with reality in pursuit of our dreams and by using these encounters to learn more about reality itself and how to interact with it inorder to get what we want—and that if we do this with determination, we almost certainly will be successful. In short:
要梦想成真，得不断在现实里历练，追寻梦想，总结教训，进而获得成长，了解现实，明白如何解决现实中的问题，实现自己的目标——下定决心，坚持不懈，定能成功。简而言之：
Reality + Dreams + Determination = A Successful Life
现实+梦想+决心=成功的人生
So what is success? I believe that it is nothing more than getting what you want—and that it is up to you to decide what that is for you. I don’t care whether it’s being a master of the universe, a couch potato, or anything else—I really don’t. What is essential is that you are clear about what you want and that you figure out how to get it.
成功是什么?没什么比实现梦想更重要了，想要什么是自己决定的。做宇宙之主？躺沙发看电视的宅男？还是别的什么？我可不在乎，重要的是清楚自己想要什么，知道怎么去实现这个梦想。
However, there are a few common things that most people want.
然而，有些东西看起来普通，但却是大多数人都想要的。
As I mentioned, for most people success is evolving as effectively as possible, i.e., learning about oneself and one’s environment and then changing to improve. Personally, I believe that personal evolution is both the greatest accomplishment and the greatest reward.
我说过，对大多数人来说，成功是一个高效的进化过程，即了解自己和周遭环境、做出改变、获得提高。我认为实现个人进化，即成长是最伟大的成就，也能获得最丰厚的回报。
Also, for most people happiness is much more determined by how things turn out relative to their expectations rather than the absolute level of their conditions. For example, if a billionaire loses $200 million he will probably be unhappy, while if someone who is worth $10 thousand unexpectedly gets another $2 thousand, he will probably be happy. This basic principle suggests that you can follow one of two paths to happiness: 1) have high expectations and strive to exceed them, or 2) lower your expectations so that they are at or below your conditions. Most of us choose the first path, which means that to be happy we have to keep evolving.
同样，对大多数人来说，幸福感取决于同自身期望值的关联度，而非个体条件的绝对水平。例如，一个亿万富翁输了两亿美金，他可能会不开心，但如果另一个身价一万美元的人意外获得了两千美金，那他可就乐开了花。这条基本原则说明，通往幸福之路有两条：1）期望值高，努力超越；2）降低期望值，符合或低于自身客观条件。大家一般都会选第一条路，也意味着想幸福，就得不断成长。
Another principle to keep in mind is that people need meaningful work and meaningful relationships in order to be fulfilled. I have observed this to be true for virtually everyone, and I know that it’s true for me.
另一条要牢记的原则是，充实的生活需要从事有意义的工作，需要跟值得打交道的人建立人脉。我发现这几乎是适用于每个人的一条真理，当然，对我更是如此。
As Freud put it, “Love and work are the cornerstones of our humanness.”
弗洛伊德说过：爱情和工作是我们人性的基石。
The work doesn’t necessarily have to be a job, though I believe it’s generally better if it is a job. It can be any kind of long-term challenge that leads to personal improvement. As you might have guessed, I believe that the need to have meaningful work is connected to man’s innate desire to improve. And relationships are the natural connections to others that make us relevant to society.
工作不一定是一份职业，当然我觉得最好是一份职业。只要是一项长期挑战，可以提升自我，就能称作是工作。我认为必须从事有意义的工作，因为想要提升自己是人类与生俱来的欲望，所以我们在社会中才会自然而然和他人建立关系。
Regardless of others’ principles, you will need to decide for yourself what you want and go after it in the best way for you.
别的原则暂且不谈，首先你得决定自己想要追寻的是什么，并通过最适合自己的方式实现它。
Your Most Important Choices
你最重要的选择
As I mentioned, as we head toward our goals we encounter an enormous number of choices that come at us, and each decision we make has consequences. So, the quality of our lives depends on the qualityof the decisions we make. We literally make millions of decisions that add up to the consequences thatare our lives.
我提过，实现目标的征途中，会遇到大量选择，而我们所做的每一个决定都产生其结果，生活质量取决于我们所作的抉择的质量。我们大概会做出百万次抉择，最终的结果累加构成了我们的人生。
Of these millions, I believe that there are five big types of choices that we continually must make that radically affect the quality of our lives and the rates at which we move toward what we want. Choosing well is not dependent on our innate abilities such as intelligence or creativity, but moare on what I think of as character. For this reason, I believe that most people can make the right choices.
这百万次选择中，我们一直在做的深刻影响生活质量与实现目标速度的选择主要有五大类。选对与否不是取决于我们天生的智慧或创造力，而是取决于我们的性格，所以我认为大多数人都能做出正确的选择。
The following five decision trees show these choices. I believe that those who don’t move effectively to their goals do the things on the top branches, and those who do move to them most quickly do the things on the bottom branches.
下面五大“决策树”展现了不同的选择。实现梦想的征途上，效率低下之人会选上分支的选项，效率高的会选下分支的选项。
First:
第一个选择：
It is a fundamental law of nature that to evolve one has to push one’s limits, which is painful, in order to gain strength—whether it’s in the form of lifting weights, facing problems head-on, or in any other way. Nature gave us pain as a messaging device to tell us that we are approaching, or that wehave exceeded, our limits in some way. At the same time, nature made the process of getting stronger require us to push our limits. Gaining strength is the adaptation process of the body and the mind to encountering one’s limits, which is painful. In other words, both pain and strength typically result from encountering one’s barriers. When we encounter pain, we are at an important juncture in our decision-making process.
大自然的一条根本定律是，要想进化，就要突破极限，承受痛苦，方能获得成长，举重也好，直面难题也好，都不外乎如此。大自然赋予我们痛苦，其实是让我们感受到离目标越来越近，或已在某方面超越了自己的极限。同时，大自然中物种变得强大的过程也要求突破极限。获得成长是身心适应环境，了解自身极限的痛苦过程，换句话说，痛苦与成长都是克服自身障碍的过程，当我们感到痛苦之时，我们其实是处于做出抉择的重要分叉口。
Most people react to pain badly. They have “fight or flight” reactions to it: they either strike out at whatever brought them the pain or they try to run away from it. As a result, they don’t learn to find ways around their barriers, so they encounter them over and over again and make little or no progress toward what they want.
大多数人对疼痛反应激烈，采取“战斗或逃避”的法子，要么奋起反抗给他们带来痛苦的东西，要么就想逃之夭夭，结果呢，终究没能解决这些障碍，这也决定了他们将会一次又一次遇到这些困难，遭受痛苦，无法取得进步，无法达成目标。
There are literally two different parts of each person’s brain that influence these reactions: the pre-frontal cortex and the amygdala. They work as though they were two different brains that fight for control of decision-making. The pre-frontal cortex is the logical part of the brain that evaluates choices logically and the amygdala is the “animal instinct” part of the brain that triggers emotional reactions like the instinct to fight or flee. When faced with an obstacle or threat, an emotional reaction (e.g. pain) can be triggered that can lead to a fight or flight reaction that “hijacks” decision making away from the pre-frontal cortex, where the rational choices are being made. This can result in our making decisions that produce consequences that we do not want. This typically causes really big problems.
人体大脑有两个部分会影响这类反应：前额叶皮层和杏仁体。它们就像两个不同的大脑，相互斗争想控制决策行为。前额叶皮层是大脑的逻辑组织，从逻辑上评估各种选项，杏仁体是大脑“动物天性”部分，会引起情绪反应，如战斗或逃跑。面对障碍或威胁，会产生情绪反应（比如痛苦），导致战斗或逃跑之类的行为，这种行为会将人做理性决策的行为能力从前额叶皮层那里抢过来，这样做的决策结果不是我们想要的。
Those who react well to pain that stands in the way of getting to their goals—those who understand what is causing it and how to deal with it so that it can be disposed of as a barrier—gain strength and satisfaction. This is because most learning comes from making mistakes, reflecting on the causes of the mistakes, and learning what to do differently in the future. Believe it or not, you are lucky to feel the pain if you approach it correctly, because it will signal that you need to find solutions and to progress. Since the only way you are going to find solutions to painful problems is by thinking deeply about them—i.e., reflecting — if you can develop a knee-jerk reaction to pain that is to reflect rather than to fight or flee, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving.
面对困难，有人反应得体，这种人深知根源起因，明白如何应对，清除掉这些人生路障，获得成长与满足感。这是因为人是在犯错中学习、反思根源，并学会如何在未来改变策略。不管你信不信，我觉得遭受痛苦是件幸事，能从中意识到哪儿有什么问题需要解决与提高。要想解决这些令人头疼的问题，唯一的法子就是深入思考。如果在膝跳反应中，对疼痛的反应是反思，而不是反抗或逃避，即可快速学习，获得成长。
Your very unique power of reflectiveness—i.e., your ability to look at yourself, the world around you, and the relationship between you and the world—means that you can think deeply and weigh subtle things to come up with learning and wise choices. Asking other believable people about the root causes of your pain in order to enhance your reflections is also typically very helpful— especially others who have opposing views and who share your interest in finding the truth rather than being proven right.
因为你拥有一项独特的能力，即反思的能力，能使你审视自己、周围的世界和你与世界的关系。因此你能够深入思考，对细节进行考量，从而获得知识，做出明智的选择。让值得信赖之人告诉你痛苦的根本原因，能提升反思的质量。尤其当对方与你观点相对立，或与你一样乐于自己去寻找真相而不是乐于坐等事实被别人证明。
If you can reflect deeply about your problems, they almost always shrink or disappear, because you almost always find a better way of dealing with them than if you don’t face them head on. The more difficult the problem, the more important it is that you think hard about it and deal with it. After seeing how effectively facing reality—especially your problems, mistakes and weaknesses— works, I believe you will become comfortable with it and won’t want to operate any other way.
如果你能深刻反思自己的问题，这些问题基本都会减少或消失。因为比起躲避这些问题，你几乎总是能找到一种更高的解决方法。问题越严重，越需要你认真思考并解决它，当看到有效面对现实，尤其是面对自己的问题，错误和缺点。我相信你终会从容应对，到时候都不会想用其他方法解决了。
So, please remember that:
所以，请记住：
Pain + Reflection = Progress
痛苦+反思=进步
How big of an impediment is psychological pain to your progress?
通往成功之路上，困难阻碍对你的心灵能造成多大的痛苦呢？
Second:
第二个选择：
People who confuse what they wish were true with what is really true create distorted pictures of reality that make it impossible for them to make the best choices. They typically do this because facing “harsh realities” can be very difficult. However, by not facing these harsh realities, they don’t find ways of properly dealing with them. And because their decisions are not based in reality, they can’t anticipate the consequences of their decisions.
