Translator: Rainbow Turtle
翻译:彩虹龟
I remembered the moment I read a novel for the first time.
我想起了我第一次读小说的那一刻。
The texture of the soft paper touching my fingertips. The black letters blooming on a white field. The texture of the page I folded with my hands.
柔软的纸张触摸着我的指尖。黑色的字母在白色的田野上绽放。我双手合十的页面的纹理。
「 It isn’t important to read the letters. The important thing is where the letters lead you. 」
「阅读字母并不重要，重要的是字母指引你到哪里」
My mother, who loved books, used to say this. At least for me, it wasn’t just a saying.
我喜欢读书的母亲过去常常这样说，至少对我来说，这不仅仅是一句谚语。
The gaps in the black print. My own little snow garden lay in between the letters. This space, which was too small for someone to go into, was a perfect place for a child who liked to hide. Every time a pleasant sound was heard, the letters stacked up like snow.
黑色印刷中的间隙。我自己的小雪花园就在这些信件之间。对于一个喜欢躲藏的孩子来说，这个空间太小了，无法进入。每次听到悦耳的声音，信件就像雪一样堆积起来。
In it, I became a hero. I had adventures, loved and dreamt. Thus, I read, read and read again.
在那里，我成为了一个英雄，我经历了冒险、爱情和梦想，因此，我不断地阅读、阅读和再阅读。
I remembered the first time I was about to finish a book. It was like being deprived of the world.
我记得我第一次快要完成一本书的时候，感觉就像被剥夺了世界的存在。
The protagonist and supporting characters walked off with the sentence ‘They lived happily ever after’ and I was left alone at the end of the story. In my vanity and sense of betrayal, my young self struggled because I couldn’t stand the loneliness.
主角和配角带着‘他们住在很想和你在一起’离开了，故事的结尾只剩下我一个人。在虚荣和被背叛的感觉中，我年轻的自我挣扎着，因为我无法忍受孤独。
「This… is the end? 」
“这...就是尽头吗?”
Perhaps it was similar to learning about death. For the first time, I realized that something was finite.
也许这就像学习死亡一样，我第一次意识到有些东西是有限的。
My mother said, 「This is the end. 」 「There isn’t anything that comes next? 」
母亲说“这就是结局”“不”表示接下来没有什么东西了吗?”
「There is no ‘next.’ 」
“没有‘下一个’”
My mother was cold as she told me a brutal truth.
我母亲告诉我一个残酷的事实，她很冷漠。
「 However, just because it is the end doesn’t mean you’ve seen the whole story. 」
“然而，仅仅因为它是结局并不意味着你看到了整个故事”
Then she gave me wise advice.
然后她给了我明智的建议。
「 Yes? 」
“是吗?”
「 Read it again. 」
“再读一遍”
Reread the finished story. As a child, I didn’t know what this meant.
重读完成的故事。作为一个孩子，我不知道这意味着什么。
「 Why read a story I already know? 」 「 If you read it again, it will definitely be a different story. 」 「…I don’t want to. 」
“为什么要读一个我已经知道的故事?”“如果你再读一遍，情况肯定会大不相同”“...我不想”
I was stubborn because I was afraid of feeling the deprivation again. Then my mother said, 「 Do you want to read it together? 」
我很固执，因为我害怕再次感受到那种被剥夺的感觉。然后妈妈说，“你想一起读吗?”
Thus, I learnt to read again.
于是，我又学会了阅读。
At first, I only saw the main character’s position. The second reading showed the position of the supporting character and the third reading showed the position of the enemy.
起初，我只看到了主角的位置。二读显示配角的位置，三读显示敌人的位置。
The story changed every time I read it. The story was over but it wasn’t over. The story wouldn’t end unless the reader gave up on the story.
每次我读到这个故事，它都会改变。故事结束了，但还没有结束。除非读者放弃这个故事，否则这个故事就不会结束。
I still thought about it often. What if my mother had said something else at that time?
我仍然经常想起这件事，如果我母亲当时说了别的什么呢？
All fiction was fake and it would just be a loss of my life if I read it.
所有的小说都是虚构的，如果我读了，那就是我生命的损失。
Would I then have a lot of friends? What if I didn’t study hard, wasn’t bullied and didn’t run away from the reality given to me?
我会有很多朋友吗？如果我没有努力学习，没有被欺负，没有逃避现实呢？
Sparks appeared in the air and the flowing memories were broken.
空气中出现了火花，流动的记忆被打破了。
「 Kim Dokja. You look relaxed. 」
“金道佳，你看上去很放松”
I turned my head and saw someone standing in the darkness. It was a presence that could easily pierce other people’s dreams. Apart from a mighty god, the only possible people who could do this were prophets. However, the person here wasn’t Anna Croft.
我转过头，看见有人站在黑暗中。这种存在可以轻易地刺穿别人的梦想。除了一个全能的神，唯一可能做到这一点的人是先知。然而，这里的人不是安娜·克罗夫特。
「 Is ‘fate’ bearable? 」
「「命运」可以忍受吗?」
I knew this face. It was a crowned wanderer dressed in old clothes. That reminded me, there was a prophet among the constellations.
我认识这张脸。那是一个戴着王冠的流浪者，穿着旧衣服。这提醒了我，在星座中有一个先知。
‘Poked Out His Eyes.’
“戳瞎了他的眼睛。”
It was King Oedipus of Olympus, who I met at the banquet. King Oedipus said to me.
我在宴会上遇到的是奥林匹斯的俄狄浦斯王，俄狄浦斯王对我说。
「 Your fate is approaching. 」
“你的命运即将到来”
‘Fate? Hasn’t it already been realized? Aren’t I dead as you planned?’ 「 This isn’t a fate that can be avoided with a shameful story. You have to decide which side you will stand on soon. I believe you will make the right choice. 」 ‘I’m not on anyone’s side.’
”“命运？这难道不是已经实现了吗？我不是像你计划的那样死了吗「这不是一个可以用可耻的故事来避免的命运。」。你必须尽快决定站在哪一边。我相信你会做出正确的选择。」我不站在任何一边
King Oedipus laughed.
俄狄浦斯国王笑了。
「 You will definitely come to Olympus. It is because no incarnation fits the story of Olympus as much as you. 」
“你一定会来到奥林匹斯山。”。因为没有一个化身像你这样符合奥林巴斯的故事
‘What are you talking about…’
你在说什么
Before I could finish speaking, my memories came back.
还没等我说完，我的记忆就回来了。
「 Dokja. 」
“ Dokja. ”
Shit. I remembered this. It was a bloody living room. My mother was holding a knife and standing in front of a dead man.
该死。我记得这个。那是一个血淋淋的起居室。我母亲拿着一把刀站在一个死人面前。
「 From now on, I will read all of this again. 」
“从现在开始，我将再次阅读所有这些内容”
My mother smiled towards me and said.
母亲对我微笑着说。
「Thus, you have to remember well. Understood? 」
“因此，你必须记得清楚，明白吗?”
A nightmare was coming towards me. I heard screaming. King Oedipus’s voice was heard, as if he was laughing at all the memories.
一场噩梦正向我袭来。我听到尖叫声。人们听到了俄狄浦斯国王的声音，仿佛他在嘲笑所有的回忆。
「 Succeed the Lightning Carnival. Otherwise you will die ‘forever’ in the following scenarios. 」
「成功举办闪电嘉年华，否则在以下情况下你将永远死去」
***
***
[The attribute ‘Eight Lives’ has been activated.]
[“八条命”属性已被激活]
[Your body will be resurrected.]
[你的身体会复活。]
My breath burst out of me like amniotic fluid.
我的呼吸像羊水一样迸发出来。
[The second head of the snake has been sacrificed.] [The power of the head is ‘intelligence.’]
[第二个蛇头被献祭了][头的力量是‘智慧’。]
My cold skin turned warm again and my stretched muscles gained strength. This was the fourth death I had experienced.
我冰冷的皮肤再次变暖，伸展的肌肉变得强壮，这是我第四次经历死亡。
Once against the fire dragon, once against the Disaster of Floods and once when dealing with Nirvana. At this point, I should think about whether Yoo Jonghyuk was the sunfish or if I was the sunfish.
一次对抗火龙，一次对抗洪水灾害，一次对抗涅盘。在这一点上，我应该考虑柳钟玉是翻车鱼还是我是翻车鱼。
“…Uh, where is this place?”
“呃，这个地方在哪里?”
I looked around but I couldn’t tell where I was. I only saw a white cloud-like ground and an open sky.
我向四周看了看，但不知道自己在哪里。我只看到一片白云似的地面和一片开阔的天空。
…Was this Dark Castle?
这是黑暗城堡吗？
[The bonus effect has sped up the actions of your brain.]
[奖励效应加速了你大脑的行动。]
Due to the resurrection bonus, my judgment of the situation became clearer and faster. I decided to look at it again from the beginning.
由于复活奖金，我对形势的判断变得越来越清晰和快速。我决定从头再看一遍。
First, there was the biggest question.
首先，有一个最大的问题。
‘Why did I die?’
“我为什么会死?”
I had been using third person’s viewpoint to watch Paradise and left my body with Han Sooyoung. Suddenly, my consciousness blurred and the death message emerged.
我一直用第三人称的视角观看《天堂》，把自己的身体留给了韩素英。突然，我的意识模糊了，死亡的讯息出现了。
There was only one conclusion. Someone killed me while I was asleep. Who was it? Han Sooyoung?
只有一个结论，有人在我睡觉的时候杀了我，是谁?韩素英？
[A new achievement has been added to your fifth story.] [People will know you as the ‘Messiah Who Bears Shame.]
[你的第五个故事增添了一项新的成就][人们将知道你是‘带着耻辱的弥赛亚’。]
I died at a strange time so a weird achievement was added to my story.
我在一个奇怪的时间去世，所以一个奇怪的成就被添加到我的故事。
…I didn’t think it was actually shameful.
我不认为这是可耻的。
The prophecy was ‘Incarnation Kim Dokja will be killed by the person he loves most’. Then to kill me, they must be someone I loved.
预言是‘化身金杜佳将被他最爱的人杀死’。那么要杀我，他们必须是我爱的人。
“Hey Kim Dokja! You survived?” In the distance, Han Sooyoung was walking this way.
“嘿，金东子!你还活着吗?”远处，韩秀英正朝这边走来。
“What on earth happened?”
“到底发生了什么事?”
“An ambush.” Han Sooyoung grumbled as she looked at the cloud field. It was a place where nothing could be seen except for floating clouds. It was an overly peaceful scene to be called an ambush.
“有埋伏。”韩素英看着云原，嘟囔着。那是一个除了浮云什么也看不见的地方。这是一个被称为伏击的过于平静的场面。
“As soon as you fell asleep, some people appeared who were after you. I tried to stop them but it didn’t work. You ended up with a fatal wound and I carried you away while crying. Suddenly, I appeared in this place.”
“你一睡着，就有人出现在你后面。我试图阻止他们，但没有成功。你最后受了致命的伤，我哭着把你抱走了。突然，我出现在这个地方。”
The story flowed as naturally as the clouds but it was unbelievable.
这个故事就像云朵一样自然而然地流淌着，但它是不可思议的。
[The exclusive skill ‘Lie Detection Lv. 2’ is activated!]
[独家技能‘测谎第2卷’被激活!]
[You have confirmed that the statement is true.]
你已经证实了这句话的真实性
“…Did you see the faces of those who attacked?”
“......你看到那些袭击者的脸了吗?”
“Everybody was wearing an mask and I couldn’t see properly. I saw a few people using Detect Attributes but I didn’t know them.”
“每个人都戴着面具，我看不清楚。我看到一些人在使用检测属性，但我不知道他们。”
The three day journey had made Han Sooyoung considerably stronger. Now Han Sooyoung would be 20th in the Dark Castle rankings. Yet the people broke through her to kill me, then brought us here. I couldn’t come up with a plausible group, no matter how hard I thought.
三天的旅程使韩素英变得强壮多了。现在，韩秀英在黑暗城堡排行榜上将名列第20位。然而人们冲破她的防线杀了我，然后把我们带到这里。不管我怎么想，我也想不出一个合理的组合。
“You didn’t find out anything else?”
“你没有发现别的什么吗?”
“By the way, aren’t you really relaxed? Who was the one suffering for three days…”
“顺便说一句，你不是真的很放松吗?谁是那个忍受了三天的人......”
“Three days?”
“三天?”
“You have been dead for three days. Didn’t you know?”
“你已经死了三天了，你不知道吗?”
That reminded me, Eight Lives had a bit of a wait time. Three days… damn. What happened to the other party members? Surely they hadn’t already passed onto the next scenario? If so, all my plans would go wrong.
这提醒了我，《八条命》有一段等待的时间。三天...该死。其他党员怎么样了？他们肯定还没有进入下一个阶段吧？如果是这样的话，我所有的计划都会失败。
Han Sooyoung sighed. “No matter how far I go, there are only clouds. I have already given up.”
韩秀英叹了口气，“不管我走多远，都只有云，我已经放弃了。”
“…Is that why you released your clones?”
“......这就是你释放克隆人的原因吗?”
Han Sooyoung’s clones were training in various parts of the cloud field. Han Sooyoung training in Hidden Weapons Technique, Han Sooyoung training her footwork… each Han Sooyoung was devoted to one skill.
韩素英的克隆兵正在云原的各个地方训练。韩秀英练习隐藏兵器技术，韩秀英练习步法......每个韩秀英都专注于一项技能。
“It is my own training. I didn’t want to waste time waiting for you and once I take back my clones, my skill proficiency increases quickly.”
“这是我自己的训练。我不想浪费时间等你，一旦我拿回我的克隆人，我的技能熟练程度就会迅速提高。”
Somehow, I discovered the secret behind how Han Sooyoung could become so strong in such a short time.
不知怎么的，我发现了韩素英如何在这么短的时间内变得如此强大的秘密。
“What? Are you a ■?”
“什么?你是■吗?”
“I’m a ■?” Damn… it is filtering something like this. Well, I have an idea of what you wanted to say.”
“我是一个■?”该死...它正在过滤这样的东西。我知道你想说什么了。”
In any case, she didn’t seem like just a plagiarist writer anymore. I was suddenly curious. The original description in Ways of Survival didn’t describe the Avatar skill in detail. It wouldn’t be bad to learn a bit more about this skill.
无论如何，她看起来不再像是一个剽窃者了。我突然很好奇。生存之道》中最初的描述并没有详细描述阿凡达的技能。多了解一些这方面的知识并不是坏事。
“Are there no constraints on the skill? You can make infinite number of clones as long as you have the magic power?”
“这种技能没有限制吗？只要你有魔法，你就可以制造无限多的克隆人?”
“That would be a scam. Of course there are restrictions. Every time I use the skill, I share some of my memories with the avatar.”
“这是一个骗局。当然也有一些限制。每次我使用这个技能，我都会和化身分享一些我的记忆。”
“…Some of your memories? Then what about after the avatar dies?”
“...你的一些记忆?那么在神通死后呢?”
“Then I will lose the memories.”
“那么我就会失去这些记忆。”
I felt a bit surprised when Han Sooyoung responded casually. Wasn’t it a skill that could give her Alzheimer’s if she made a mistake?
当韩素英随意地回答时，我感到有点吃惊。如果她犯了一个错误，这个技能难道不会导致她患上老年痴呆症吗？
Han Sooyoung read my thoughts and smiled. “Don’t worry. I usually use unnecessary memories. In addition, the memories will come back if I recover the clones. Sometimes… it is a problem because some go out of control.”
韩素英看出了我的心思，笑了。“别担心。我通常使用不必要的记忆。另外，如果我恢复克隆人，记忆就会恢复。有时候......这是一个问题，因为有些人失控了。”
“Out of control?”
“失去控制?”
“The first time I tried creating a clone using Avatar… I gave away too many of my memories and it went out of control.”
“我第一次尝试用《阿凡达》创造一个克隆人......我放弃了太多的记忆，结果失去了控制。”
“…Is that possible? Then did you lose those memories?”
“......这可能吗?那么你失去了那些记忆吗?”
Han Sooyoung shrugged. “I don’t know. But now I use small memories so it’s fine.”
韩素英耸了耸肩，“我不知道，但是现在我用小记忆，所以没关系。”
“You just think that you’re fine.”
“你只是觉得自己很好。”
“Shut up.”
“闭嘴。”
A clone ended up having important memories due to a mistake. I shivered as I thought about another Han Sooyoung that might still be moving around somewhere in Seoul.
由于一个错误，一个克隆体最终拥有了重要的记忆。当我想到另一个韩淑英可能还在首尔某个地方的时候，我不禁打了个寒颤。
One be one, the clones turned into smoke and returned to Han Sooyoung. It was probably to recover the accumulated skills proficiency.
一个是，克隆人变成了烟，回到了HanSooyoung。可能是为了恢复所积累的熟练技能。
Han Sooyoung suddenly exclaimed, “Ah! There was something I didn’t say. I just remembered. A constellation came looking for me when you died.”
韩素英忽然惊叫道:“啊！有些事我没有说。我刚想起来。你死的时候有个星座来找我。”
Why give such an important memory to her clone?
为什么给她的克隆人如此重要的记忆？
“I forgot the name but the constellation belonged to a nebula. Vedas or… Tamna?”
“我忘了它的名字，但是这个星座属于一个星云。是吠陀还是......塔姆纳?”
These names were dangerous. Regardless of how I felt, Han Sooyoung muttered in a relaxed manner, “I heard some ambiguous words. Make the right choice…”
这些名字很危险。不管我怎么想，韩秀英轻松地喃喃自语道:“我听到了一些模棱两可的话。做出正确的选择......”
“Can’t you remember it properly?”
“你难道记不清楚了吗?”
“I’m sorry. If I recall all my avatars then I can remember… oh, it was a strange Goryeo warrior.”
“对不起。如果我回忆起所有的阿凡达，那么我就能记起......哦，那是一个奇怪的高丽战士。”
“Goryeo warrior?”
“高丽战士?”
“He left without saying anything. He stared at your dead body for a moment and left straight away.”
“他什么也没说就走了。他盯着你的尸体看了一会儿，然后就直接走了。”
If it was a Goryeo warrior, it was probably Cheok Jungyeong. There were also Olympus, Vedas and Tamna. The big nebulae were moving so it seemed like something was going to happen.
如果是一个高丽武士，那很可能是陈俊英。还有奥林巴斯、吠陀经和Tamna。巨大的星云在移动，所以看起来好像要发生什么事情。
At this moment, something crossed my mind. “Wait, a constellation appeared directly? It wasn’t an avatar?”
这时，我突然想到一件事:“等等，一个星座直接出现了?它不是一个化身吗?”
“Yes. It was a symbol. Why?”
“是的，这是一个象征，为什么?”
“…Don’t you know the problem with this?”
