"Partly; but there was more still to hold me back."
"Probably the thought that should Kathleen not accept you, the charm of the present sweet intimacy would be broken, its growth checked, and that even your relations as guardian and ward would be unpleasantly strained. You must continue your oversight of Kathleen and her affairs, and it would have been pretty trying for you to meet constantly under the circumstances. You would have been thinking that everybody knew of your rejection, and Kathleen would have been miserable every time she saw you, because she cares far too much for you to feel other than sorry for having caused you pain."
"What a witch you are, Hetty! You have read my thoughts like an open book," said Aylmer.
"No witchcraft in that. Do I not know Kathleen's character and yours? Given this acquaintance with characters and circumstances, it is easy to picture how people would think and act towards each other. I can imagine what a shock it would be for you to meet Kathleen and John Torrance together this morning, when you were indulging in a sweet day-dream on your own account. Fancying that your most dangerous rival was far-away, and Kathleen and yourself growing nearer every day."
"It was a shock. You agree with me that John Torrance is trying to win Kathleen?"
"No doubt about it, and I fear for her and for you. He is a strong opponent, in spite of his blemished past, he ruined fortunes, and the fact that he is only tolerated amongst county society because he bears a name which was once an honoured one hereabouts."
"The fact and the memory that he loved and was beloved by so sweet a wife, and that he lost her."
"Yes, these two things have enabled John Torrance to keep his place, such as it is, and they are two of his most dangerous possessions—the old name and the fair memory."
"Then he is the handsomest man, I know, and looks count for a great deal," said Aylmer.
Hetty thought, though she did not say so, that on the score of looks Aylmer had little cause to be discouraged. "In his style, he is John Torrance's equal; and as to expression, there is no comparison. Mr. Torrance's face may well be dark, and Aylmer's what it is—the reflex of a pure mind and faithful heart," was what Hetty said to herself.
Her remark to Aylmer was very different.
"As to looks, they count for less than most people think, and that is fortunate for me, since I have none to speak of, in a complimentary way, I mean. Never trouble about looks. If you are anxious on account of John Torrance's, just call to mind the beautiful girls of your acquaintance who have married what are called plain men, and vice versa. Girls and men who have been poor as well as plain, have wedded with riches and good looks. And often enough their partners have had cause to thank God for having gained in exchange what was more precious than wealth or beauty, in the humble Christ-like nature and the unselfish life."
"That is true, Hetty; but all the same, when a girl is so impulsive and easily impressed as Kathleen, the personal appearance of an admirer will not fail to have its effect."
Hetty nodded. "I admit so much; but if you regard John Torrance's looks as all-important in Kathleen's sight, you will make a great mistake."
"Tell me, Hetty, where you think the chief danger lies," said Aylmer, not a little puzzled by the girl's manner, but impressed by her words.
"In little Ralph," she replied. "He will woo Kathleen most effectively by means of the boy. She is very fond of the fine little fellow. I have heard her speak regretfully of his motherless condition, and compare it with her own."
"Kathleen is very differently placed from Captain Torrance's unfortunate child. She is hedged round from evil influences as far as possible. He is constantly exposed to them by the one person, of all others, who ought to protect him—his own father," replied Aylmer.
"True, and here is where John Torrance will work upon Kathleen's tender heart. You know how she cherishes the memory of her parents. She pictures her own beautiful mother during her last years of helplessness, and if she had been likely to forget, Mr. Mountford's efforts would have kept the memory of his wife alive in the child's mind, so long as he lived. She knows what care and love have done to surround her young life with good things, and to keep her 'unspotted from the world.' Kathleen will contrast all she has with what Ralph needs, and has not; John Torrance will never lose an opportunity of talking about the dead wife, and the boy she left him. He will not pose as a good father, but he will as a loving one. He will lament his unworthiness to have the charge of Ralph, though he is his natural guardian. He will say how helpless he is in his loneliness, and that yet he cannot part with his boy, the only comfort left him. He will point out how possible it would be for one, equally beautiful and good, to prove the saviour of the boy, and turn Monk's How into an earthly paradise."
"Probably he will say more against himself, and own that he could never hope to win such a mother for Ralph, because, with the child, she who would act as the 'angel in the house,' must be the father's good angel also. Then such a nature as Kathleen's would be wrought upon, and she would be filled with sweet longings and noble aspirations. She would pity both Captain Jack and his child, and could not be contented without doing something to remedy the evil. She would see lofty possibilities, alike for the boy and his father, and would deem it a glorious privilege if, by dedicating her fortune, her time, her very life, she could turn possibilities into realities."
Hetty paused. She had spoken under a profound conviction of the truth of her impressions, and with an earnestness which convinced her only listener.
"You frighten me, Hetty," said Aylmer. "You have opened my eyes to dangers I never fully realized till now, though a dim notion of them may have flitted across my mind. After all, there is much that strikes me also in the picture you have drawn. The enterprise would be a glorious one, worthy of a pure soul and a noble nature. One could not be surprised that it should have attractions for a girl like Kathleen."
"Only we have to think for her, and to pray that we may be enabled to prevent her from undertaking it. For Kathleen would fail, and make shipwreck of her happiness and her life. I know John Torrance too well to suppose that more than a very temporary impression would be produced on him. If any human influence could have saved him, his wife's would have done it, for he loved her as much as his nature could love one so unlike itself. No, Aylmer. It would sacrifice another life, and leave him where he is, or it may be lower still, were Kathleen to become his wife, for, you see, he would have another fortune to squander."
"That, in any case, could be secured to Kathleen."
"She would not let you secure it. She is just the girl, if she gives aught, to give all. You will be powerless. Now I must go in, for my anxiety about Kathleen has kept me walking round these grounds with you too long already."
"You have been very good, and kind, and wise. I cannot tell you how much I value your advice and your friendship for Kathleen and me, for I know I may count on it."
"You may indeed. Now mind you don't scold Kathleen. Speak of her meeting with John Torrance as if any other neighbour had seen her and strolled with her to the gate. I hope and I pray for the best."
Hetty vanished round the corner of the house, and Aylmer Matheson walked homeward, with abundant material to occupy his anxious thoughts, but feeling more hopeful than he had ever done before.
CHAPTER XI GOOD RESOLUTIONS
BEFORE Aylmer Matheson's talk with Miss Stapleton, he had intended to remain at home and alone during the evening. Afterwards he decided to go, for the third time that day, to the Hall. He was deeply impressed by the grasp Hetty had taken of Kathleen's position and his own, and thankful too, for the friendship of one whose feminine instincts enabled her so to divine the working of another girl's feelings.
"It is true," thought Aylmer, "that either man or woman working alone works at a disadvantage. Each wants the mind and the varying nature of the other to ensure success, especially in all that relates to the most sacred ties and duties, ay, and affections of humanity. Hetty has opened my eyes to many things that I should never have noticed until they were manifest to all. And whilst warning me, she has cheered and strengthened me wonderfully."
It was no small satisfaction to the housekeeper at Westhill that Aylmer did justice to his evening meal, and left the house half an hour afterwards, humming a favourite air.
When Aylmer entered the drawing-room at the Hall, he made a half apology for his appearance.
"I have been here twice before, Kathleen," he said. "Once you were out, the second time you were resting, so, as Mrs. Ellicott and I pretty well exhausted all topics of conversation whilst Miss Stapleton was here, I must be considered your special visitor to-night. Ought I to apologize for haunting this home at all hours? If so, I shall plead my loneliness and weariness of my own society."
It was a relief to Kathleen to hear Aylmer speak in this tone. She had dreaded his coming, lest their meeting should result in a lecture.
"We have met before, to-day," she replied, "but I am very glad to see you now. Aunty and I are so constantly together, that she must find it a relief to hear another voice than mine, when even poor Ger is unable to turn our duet into a trio."
Aylmer made no direct reply to Kathleen's allusion to their earlier meeting, but asked after Geraldine, talked of Hetty Stapleton, and lastly, challenged his ward to a game at chess.
Kathleen readily agreed. She was on her best behaviour, and full of good resolutions, after what had passed. She felt the comfort of having acted on her aunt's advice, and her softened manner again cheered both Mrs. Ellicott and Aylmer.
The two were soon deep in the game. They were keen players and pretty equally matched, Kathleen having been her father's pupil, and an apt one, from her childish days. On this occasion the girl proved victorious. Just as the "mate" passed from her lips and a little smile of triumph lighted her face, Mrs. Ellicott was called from the room.
"I am fairly beaten, Kathleen," said Aylmer, "but ready to meet you again, in spite of that triumphant look of yours."
"Surely a girl may be allowed to rejoice in her victory over such a champion," replied Kathleen, as they replaced the pieces ready for the next game.
"I do not grudge you your success. Your excellent play deserved it, and I could not be beaten by a fairer adversary."
Kathleen lifted her eyes to Aylmer's with a merry glance, but she dropped them instantly before his. The man's heart was stirred to its utmost depths, and overflowing with tenderest affection for his wilful ward. And Kathleen read the story of it in the look he gave her. A moment after she spoke hurriedly and with some appearance of confusion, as if, too, she dreaded that Aylmer's tongue might become as eloquent as his eyes.
"I am glad aunty is away for a few minutes," she said; "I wanted to speak to you about—about—this morning. You met me with Captain Torrance."
"Yes. I was surprised to find that he had returned, as I have no doubt you were, when you saw him."
"Not exactly, though when I started on my walk I had no idea he was at Monk's How. In fact, he only came home last night. On my way I met his groom, who gave me a letter which he was bringing here for me."
It was unfortunate that Aylmer did not wait until Kathleen had finished what she had to tell.
"Surely Captain Torrance had not the impertinence to ask you to meet him?" he exclaimed, in a tone which almost startled the girl.
With quiet dignity she answered, "I should have thought you knew me better than to suppose I should regard such an invitation in any light but that of an insult. Yet, seeing me afterwards in company with Captain Torrance, you must have concluded that I not only received the invitation, but accepted it."
What would not Aylmer have given to recall his words? He began to speak, but Kathleen did not seem to heed him. She walked across to the letter-rack, in which Mrs. Ellicott had placed the note in question, and returning, handed it to Aylmer.
"Read Captain Torrance's note, if you please," she said.
"I do not wish to read it, Kathleen. When I saw you with him, I never for an instant supposed that the meeting was other than an accidental one. And just now I never meant to insinuate blame as regards yourself."
"Perhaps not," replied Kathleen, in a tone which conveyed the idea that she was weary of the whole affair. "But I must beg you to read this letter, which justifies the writer. For myself, I think I shall soon be equally indifferent to praise or blame."
There was no anger in the girl's manner, but it stung Aylmer to the quick.
"I have pained Kathleen needlessly, and injured my own cause by my impatience," he thought. "And yet how sternly have I played the part of judge towards others for impetuosity of temper!"
He read the letter, then returned it to Kathleen.
"I have wronged Torrance as well as you," he said. "I beg your pardon, though, believe me, I did not attach blame to you when we met this morning. I hope I shall have an opportunity of apologising to Torrance."
"No, no, Aylmer, please let the matter rest. I am quite satisfied, and you must see that it would not be pleasant for me, if you treated this simple affair so seriously. I should not like my name to be even mentioned again. I told aunty all about it, and how he met me at Crosspaths Corner, and walked back with me. That was all."
"You are right, Kathleen. Your name ought not to be brought up again. As to the letter. It is creditable to John Torrance, and the reading of it stirred my sympathy, as I am sure it would yours. He may have been and is much to blame in many respects, but he is also much to be pitied."
Kathleen's eyes filled at these words.
"It is like you, Aylmer, to be both just and generous," she said. "When you turned round so sharply just now, I could hardly believe it was my wise and patient guardian. Well, you have blamed and judged yourself, so there is no need for me to say another word on that side. Now I am going to confess."
