He scrutinised the reverse of these living medals some fiveminutes, then pronounced sentence. These words fell like the knellof doom-
'All those top-knots must be cut off.'
Miss Temple seemed to remonstrate.
'Madam,' he pursued, 'I have a Master to serve whose kingdom is notof this world: my mission is to mortify in these girls the lusts ofthe flesh; to teach them to clothe themselves with shame-facedness andsobriety, not with braided hair and costly apparel; and each of theyoung persons before us has a string of hair twisted in plaits whichvanity itself might have woven; these, I repeat, must be cut off;think of the time wasted, of-'
Mr. Brocklehurst was here interrupted: three other visitors,ladies, now entered the room. They ought to have come a littlesooner to have heard his lecture on dress, for they were splendidlyattired in velvet, silk, and furs. The two younger of the trio (finegirls of sixteen and seventeen) had grey beaver hats, then in fashion,shaded with ostrich plumes, and from under the brim of this gracefulhead-dress fell a profusion of light tresses, elaborately curled;the elder lady was enveloped in a costly velvet shawl, trimmed withermine, and she wore a false front of French curls.
These ladies were deferentially received by Miss Temple, as Mrs.and the Misses Brocklehurst, and conducted to seats of honour at thetop of the room. It seems they had come in the carriage with theirreverend relative, and had been conducting a rummaging scrutiny of theroom upstairs, while he transacted business with the housekeeper,questioned the laundress, and lectured the superintendent. They nowproceeded to address divers remarks and reproofs to Miss Smith, whowas charged with the care of the linen and the inspection of thedormitories: but I had no time to listen to what they said; othermatters called off and enchained my attention.
Hitherto, while gathering up the discourse of Mr. Brocklehurstand Miss Temple, I had not, at the same time, neglected precautions tosecure my personal safety; which I thought would be effected, if Icould only elude observation. To this end, I had sat well back onthe form, and while seeming to be busy with my sum, had held myslate in such a manner as to conceal my face: I might have escapednotice, had not my treacherous slate somehow happened to slip frommy hand, and falling with an obtrusive crash, directly drawn every eyeupon me; I knew it was all over now, and, as I stooped to pick upthe two fragments of slate, I rallied my forces for the worst. Itcame.
'A careless girl!' said Mr. Brocklehurst, and immediately after-'It is the new pupil, I perceive.' And before I could draw breath,'I must not forget I have a word to say respecting her.' Then aloud:how loud it seemed to me! 'Let the child who broke her slate comeforward!'
Of my own accord I could not have stirred; I was paralysed: but thetwo great girls who sat on each side of me, set me on my legs andpushed me towards the dread judge, and then Miss Temple gentlyassisted me to his very feet, and I caught her whispered counsel-
'Don't be afraid, Jane, I saw it was an accident; you shall notbe punished.'
The kind whisper went to my heart like a dagger.
'Another minute, and she will despise me for a hypocrite,'thought I; and an impulse of fury against Reed, Brocklehurst, andCo. bounded in my pulses at the conviction. I was no Helen Burns.
'Fetch that stool,' said Mr. Brocklehurst, pointing to a veryhigh one from which a monitor had just risen: it was brought.
'Place the child upon it.'
And I was placed there, by whom I don't know: I was in no conditionto note particulars; I was only aware that they had hoisted me up tothe height of Mr. Brocklehurst's nose, that he was within a yard ofme, and that a spread of shot orange and purple silk pelisses and acloud of silvery plumage extended and waved below me.
Mr. Brocklehurst hemmed.
'Ladies,' said he, turning to his family, 'Miss Temple, teachers,and children, you all see this girl?'
Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed likeburning-glasses against my scorched skin.
'You see she is yet young; you observe she possesses the ordinaryform of childhood; God has graciously given her the shape that Hehas given to all of us; no signal deformity points her out as a markedcharacter. Who would think that the Evil One had already found aservant and agent in her? Yet such, I grieve to say, is the case.'
A pause- in which I began to steady the palsy of my nerves, andto feel that the Rubicon was passed; and that the trial, no longerto be shirked, must be firmly sustained.
'My dear children,' pursued the black marble clergyman, withpathos, 'this is a sad, a melancholy occasion; for it becomes myduty to warn you, that this girl, who might be one of God's own lambs,is a little castaway: not a member of the true flock, but evidently aninterloper and an alien. You must be on your guard against her; youmust shun her example; if necessary, avoid her company, exclude herfrom your sports, and shut her out from your converse. Teachers, youmust watch her: keep your eyes on her movements, weigh well her words,scrutinise her actions, punish her body to save her soul: if,indeed, such salvation be possible, for (my tongue falters while Itell it) this girl, this child, the native of a Christian land,worse than many a little heathen who says its prayers to Brahma andkneels before Juggernaut- this girl is- a liar!'
Now came a pause of ten minutes, during which I, by this time inperfect possession of my wits, observed all the female Brocklehurstsproduce their pocket-handkerchiefs and apply them to their optics,while the elderly lady swayed herself to and fro, and the twoyounger ones whispered, 'How shocking!'
Mr. Brocklehurst resumed.
'This I learned from her benefactress; from the pious andcharitable lady who adopted her in her orphan state, reared her as herown daughter, and whose kindness, whose generosity the unhappy girlrepaid by an ingratitude so bad, so dreadful, that at last herexcellent patroness was obliged to separate her from her own youngones, fearful lest her vicious example should contaminate theirpurity: she has sent her here to be healed, even as the Jews of oldsent their diseased to the troubled pool of Bethesda; and, teachers,superintendent, I beg of you not to allow the waters to stagnate roundher.'
With this sublime conclusion, Mr. Brocklehurst adjusted the topbutton of his surtout, muttered something to his family, who rose,bowed to Miss Temple, and then all the great people sailed in statefrom the room. Turning at the door, my judge said-
'Let her stand half an hour longer on that stool, and let no onespeak to her during the remainder of the day.'
There was I, then, mounted aloft; I, who had said I could notbear the shame of standing on my natural feet in the middle of theroom, was now exposed to general view on a pedestal of infamy. What mysensations were, no language can describe; but just as they allrose, stifling my breath and constricting my throat, a girl came upand passed me: in passing, she lifted her eyes. What a strange lightinspired them! What an extraordinary sensation that ray sent throughme! How the new feeling bore me up! It was as if a martyr, a hero, hadpassed a slave or victim, and imparted strength in the transit. Imastered the rising hysteria, lifted up my head, and took a firm standon the stool. Helen Burns asked some slight questions about her workof Miss Smith, was chidden for the triviality of the inquiry, returnedto her place, and smiled at me as she again went by. What a smile! Iremember it now, and I know that it was the effluence of fineintellect, of true courage; it lit up her marked lineaments, herthin face, her sunken grey eye, like a reflection from the aspect ofan angel. Yet at that moment Helen Burns wore on her arm 'the untidybadge;' scarcely an hour ago I had heard her condemned by MissScatcherd to a dinner of bread and water on the morrow because she hadblotted an exercise in copying it out. Such is the imperfect nature ofman! such spots are there on the disc of the clearest planet; and eyeslike Miss Scatcherd's can only see those minute defects, and are blindto the full brightness of the orb.
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CHAPTER VIII
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ERE the half-hour ended, five o'clock struck; school was dismissed,and all were gone into the refectory to tea. I now ventured todescend: it was deep dusk; I retired into a corner and sat down on thefloor. The spell by which I had been so far supported began todissolve; reaction took place, and soon, so overwhelming was the griefthat seized me, I sank prostrate with my face to the ground. Now Iwept: Helen Burns was not here; nothing sustained me; left to myself Iabandoned myself, and my tears watered the boards. I had meant to beso good, and to do so much at Lowood: to make so many friends, to earnrespect and win affection. Already I had made visible progress; thatvery morning I had reached the head of my class; Miss Miller hadpraised me warmly; Miss Temple had smiled approbation; she hadpromised to teach me drawing, and to let me learn French, if Icontinued to make similar improvement two months longer: and then Iwas well received by my fellow-pupils; treated as an equal by those ofmy own age, and not molested by any; now, here I lay again crushed andtrodden on; and could I ever rise more?
'Never,' I thought; and ardently I wished to die. While sobbing outthis wish in broken accents, some one approached: I started up-again Helen Burns was near me; the fading fires just showed her comingup the long, vacant room; she brought my coffee and bread.
'Come, eat something,' she said; but I put both away from me,feeling as if a drop or a crumb would have choked me in my presentcondition. Helen regarded me, probably with surprise: I could notnow abate my agitation, though I tried hard; I continued to weepaloud. She sat down on the ground near me, embraced her knees with herarms, and rested her head upon them; in that attitude she remainedsilent as an Indian. I was the first who spoke-
'Helen, why do you stay with a girl whom everybody believes to be aliar?'
'Everybody, Jane? Why, there are only eighty people who haveheard you called so, and the world contains hundreds of millions.'
'But what have I to do with millions? The eighty, I know, despiseme.'
'Jane, you are mistaken: probably not one in the school eitherdespises or dislikes you: many, I am sure, pity you much.'
'How can they pity me after what Mr. Brocklehurst has said?'
'Mr. Brocklehurst is not a god: nor is he even a great andadmired man; he is little liked here; he never took steps to makehimself liked. Had he treated you as an especial favourite, youwould have found enemies, declared or covert, all around you; as itis, the greater number would offer you sympathy if they dared.Teachers and pupils may look coldly on you for a day or two, butfriendly feelings are concealed in their hearts; and if youpersevere in doing well, these feelings will ere long appear so muchthe more evidently for their temporary suppression. Besides, Jane'-she paused.
'Well, Helen?' said I, putting my hand into hers: she chafed myfingers gently to warm them, and went on-
'If all the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while yourown conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you wouldnot be without friends.'
'No; I know I should think well of myself; but that is notenough: if others don't love me I would rather die than live- I cannotbear to be solitary and hated, Helen. Look here; to gain some realaffection from you, or Miss Temple, or any other whom I truly love,I would willingly submit to have the bone of my arm broken, or tolet a bull toss me, or to stand behind a kicking horse, and let itdash its hoof at my chest-'
'Hush, Jane! you think too much of the love of human beings; youare too impulsive, too vehement; the sovereign hand that createdyour frame, and put life into it, has provided you with otherresources than your feeble self, or than creatures feeble as you.Besides this earth, and besides the race of men, there is an invisibleworld and a kingdom of spirits: that world is round us, for it iseverywhere; and those spirits watch us, for they are commissioned toguard us; and if we were dying in pain and shame, if scorn smote us onall sides, and hatred crushed us, angels see our tortures, recogniseour innocence (if innocent we be: as I know you are of this chargewhich Mr. Brocklehurst has weakly and pompously repeated at secondhandfrom Mrs. Reed; for I read a sincere nature in your ardent eyes and onyour clear front), and God waits only the separation of spirit fromflesh to crown us with a full reward. Why, then, should we ever sinkoverwhelmed with distress, when life is so soon over, and death isso certain an entrance to happiness- to glory?'
I was silent; Helen had calmed me; but in the tranquillity sheimparted there was an alloy of inexpressible sadness. I felt theimpression of woe as she spoke, but I could not tell whence it came;and when, having done speaking, she breathed a little fast and cougheda short cough, I momentarily forgot my own sorrows to yield to a vagueconcern for her.
Resting my head on Helen's shoulder, I put my arms round her waist;she drew me to her, and we reposed in silence. We had not sat longthus, when another person came in. Some heavy clouds, swept from thesky by a rising wind, had left the moon bare; and her light, streamingin through a window near, shone full both on us and on the approachingfigure, which we at once recognised as Miss Temple.
'I came on purpose to find you, Jane Eyre,' said she; 'I want youin my room; and as Helen Burns is with you, she may come too.'
We went; following the superintendent's guidance, we had tothread some intricate passages, and mount a staircase before wereached her apartment; it contained a good fire, and lookedcheerful. Miss Temple told Helen Burns to be seated in a low arm-chairon one side of the hearth, and herself taking another, she called meto her side.
'Is it all over?' she asked, looking down at my face. 'Have youcried your grief away?'
'I am afraid I never shall do that.'
'Why?'
'Because I have been wrongly accused; and you, ma'am, and everybodyelse, will now think me wicked.'
'We shall think you what you prove yourself to be, my child.Continue to act as a good girl, and you will satisfy us.'
