'Shall I, Miss Temple?'
'You will,' said she, passing her arm round me. 'And now tell mewho is the lady whom Mr. Brocklehurst called your benefactress?'
'Mrs. Reed, my uncle's wife. My uncle is dead, and he left me toher care.'
'Did she not, then, adopt you of her own accord?'
'No, ma'am; she was sorry to have to do it: but my uncle, as I haveoften heard the servants say, got her to promise before he died thatshe would always keep me.'
'Well now, Jane, you know, or at least I will tell you, that when acriminal is accused, he is always allowed to speak in his own defence.You have been charged with falsehood; defend yourself to me as well asyou can. Say whatever your memory suggests as true; but add nothingand exaggerate nothing.'
I resolved, in the depth of my heart, that I would be mostmoderate- most correct; and, having reflected a few minutes in orderto arrange coherently what I had to say, I told her all the story ofmy sad childhood. Exhausted by emotion, my language was more subduedthan it generally was when it developed that sad theme; and mindful ofHelen's warnings against the indulgence of resentment, I infusedinto the narrative far less of gall and wormwood than ordinary. Thusrestrained and simplified, it sounded more credible: I felt as Iwent on that Miss Temple fully believed me.
In the course of the tale I had mentioned Mr. Lloyd as havingcome to see me after the fit: for I never forgot the, to me, frightfulepisode of the red-room: in detailing which, my excitement was sure,in some degree, to break bounds; for nothing could soften in myrecollection the spasm of agony which clutched my heart when Mrs. Reedspurned my wild supplication for pardon, and locked me a second timein the dark and haunted chamber.
I had finished: Miss Temple regarded me a few minutes in silence;she then said-
'I know something of Mr. Lloyd; I shall write to him; if hisreply agrees with your statement, you shall be publicly cleared fromevery imputation; to me, Jane, you are clear now.'
She kissed me, and still keeping me at her side (where I was wellcontented to stand for I derived a child's pleasure from thecontemplation of her face, her dress, her one or two ornaments, herwhite forehead, her clustered and shining curls, and beaming darkeyes), she proceeded to address Helen Burns.
'How are you to-night, Helen? Have you coughed much to-day?'
'Not quite so much, I think, ma'am.'
'And the pain in your chest?'
'It is a little better.'
Miss Temple got up, took her hand and examined her pulse; thenshe returned to her own seat: as she resumed it, I heard her sigh low.She was pensive a few minutes, then rousing herself, she saidcheerfully-
'But you two are my visitors to-night; I must treat you as such.'She rang her bell.
'Barbara,' she said to the servant who answered it, 'I have not yethad tea; bring the tray and place cups for these two young ladies.'
And a tray was soon brought. How pretty, to my eyes, did thechina cups and bright teapot look, placed on the little round tablenear the fire! How fragrant was the steam of the beverage, and thescent of the toast! of which, however, I, to my dismay (for I wasbeginning to be hungry), discerned only a very small portion: MissTemple discerned it too.
'Barbara,' said she, 'can you not bring a little more bread andbutter? There is not enough for three.'
Barbara went out: she returned soon-
'Madam, Mrs. Harden says she has sent up the usual quantity.'
Mrs. Harden, be it observed, was the housekeeper: a woman after Mr.Brocklehurst's own heart, made up of equal parts of whalebone andiron.
'Oh, very well!' returned Miss Temple; 'we must make it do,Barbara, I suppose.' And as the girl withdrew she added, smiling,'Fortunately, I have it in my power to supply deficiencies for thisonce.'
Having invited Helen and me to approach the table, and placedbefore each of us a cup of tea with one delicious but thin morsel oftoast, she got up, unlocked a drawer, and taking from it a parcelwrapped in paper, disclosed presently to our eyes a good-sizedseed-cake.
'I meant to give each of you some of this to take with you,' saidshe, 'but as there is so little toast, you must have it now,' andshe proceeded to cut slices with a generous hand.
We feasted that evening as on nectar and ambrosia; and not theleast delight of the entertainment was the smile of gratification withwhich our hostess regarded us, as we satisfied our famishedappetites on the delicate fare she liberally supplied.
Tea over and the tray removed, she again summoned us to the fire;we sat one on each side of her, and now a conversation followedbetween her and Helen, which it was indeed a privilege to beadmitted to hear.
Miss Temple had always something of serenity in her air, of statein her mien, of refined propriety in her language, which precludeddeviation into the ardent, the excited, the eager: something whichchastened the pleasure of those who looked on her and listened to her,by a controlling sense of awe; and such was my feeling now: but asto Helen Burns, I was struck with wonder.
The refreshing meal, the brilliant fire, the presence andkindness of her beloved instructress, or, perhaps, more than allthese, something in her own unique mind, had roused her powerswithin her. They woke, they kindled: first, they glowed in thebright tint of her cheek, which till this hour I had never seen butpale and bloodless; then they shone in the liquid lustre of hereyes, which had suddenly acquired a beauty more singular than thatof Miss Temple's- a beauty neither of fine colour nor long eyelash,nor pencilled brow, but of meaning, of movement, of radiance. Then hersoul sat on her lips, and language flowed, from what source I cannottell. Has a girl of fourteen a heart large enough, vigorous enough, tohold the swelling spring of pure, full, fervid eloquence? Such was thecharacteristic of Helen's discourse on that, to me, memorable evening;her spirit seemed hastening to live within a very brief span as muchas many live during a protracted existence.
They conversed of things I had never heard of; of nations and timespast; of countries far away; of secrets of nature discovered orguessed at: they spoke of books: how many they had read! What storesof knowledge they possessed! Then they seemed so familiar withFrench names and French authors: but my amazement reached its climaxwhen Miss Temple asked Helen if she sometimes snatched a moment torecall the Latin her father had taught her, and taking a book from ashelf, bade her read and construe a page of Virgil; and Helenobeyed, my organ of veneration expanding at every sounding line. Shehad scarcely finished ere the bell announced bedtime! no delay couldbe admitted; Miss Temple embraced us both, saying, as she drew us toher heart-
'God bless you, my children!'
Helen she held a little longer than me: she let her go morereluctantly; it was Helen her eye followed to the door; it was for hershe a second time breathed a sad sigh; for her she wiped a tear fromher cheek.
On reaching the bedroom, we heard the voice of Miss Scatcherd:she was examining drawers; she had just pulled out Helen Burns's,and when we entered Helen was greeted with a sharp reprimand, and toldthat to-morrow she should have half a dozen of untidily foldedarticles pinned to her shoulder.
'My things were indeed in shameful disorder,' murmured Helen to me,in a low voice: 'I intended to have arranged them, but I forgot.'
Next morning, Miss Scatcherd wrote in conspicuous characters on apiece of pasteboard the word 'Slattern,' and bound it like aphylactery round Helen's large, mild, intelligent, andbenign-looking forehead. She wore it till evening, patient,unresentful, regarding it as a deserved punishment. The moment MissScatcherd withdrew after afternoon school, I ran to Helen, tore itoff, and thrust it into the fire: the fury of which she wasincapable had been burning in my soul all day, and tears, hot andlarge, had continually been scalding my cheek; for the spectacle ofher sad resignation gave me an intolerable pain at the heart.
About a week subsequently to the incidents above narrated, MissTemple, who had written to Mr. Lloyd, received his answer: it appearedthat what he said went to corroborate my account. Miss Temple,having assembled the whole school, announced that inquiry had beenmade into the charges alleged against Jane Eyre, and that she was mosthappy to be able to pronounce her completely cleared from everyimputation. The teachers then shook hands with me and kissed me, and amurmur of pleasure ran through the ranks of my companions.
Thus relieved of a grievous load, I from that hour set to workafresh, resolved to pioneer my way through every difficulty: Itoiled hard, and my success was proportionate to my efforts; mymemory, not naturally tenacious, improved with practice; exercisesharpened my wits; in a few weeks I was promoted to a higher class; inless than two months I was allowed to commence French and drawing. Ilearned the first two tenses of the verb Etre, and sketched my firstcottage (whose walls, by the bye, outrivalled in slope those of theleaning tower of Pisa), on the same day. That night, on going tobed, I forgot to prepare in imagination the Barmecide supper of hotroast potatoes, or white bread and new milk, with which I was wontto amuse my inward cravings: I feasted instead on the spectacle ofideal drawings, which I saw in the dark; all the work of my own hands:freely pencilled houses and trees, picturesque rocks and ruins,Cuyp-like groups of cattle, sweet paintings of butterflies hoveringover unblown roses, of birds picking at ripe cherries, of wrens' nestsenclosing pearl-like eggs, wreathed about with young ivy sprays. Iexamined, too, in thought, the possibility of my ever being able totranslate currently a certain little French story which Madame Pierrothad that day shown me; nor was that problem solved to mysatisfaction ere I fell sweetly asleep.
Well has Solomon said- 'Better is a dinner of herbs where loveis, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.'
I would not now have exchanged Lowood with all its privations forGateshead and its daily luxuries.
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CHAPTER IX
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BUT the privations, or rather the hardships, of Lowood lessened.Spring drew on: she was indeed already come; the frosts of winterhad ceased; its snows were melted, its cutting winds ameliorated. Mywretched feet, flayed and swollen to lameness by the sharp air ofJanuary, began to heal and subside under the gentler breathings ofApril; the nights and mornings no longer by their Canadian temperaturefroze the very blood in our veins; we could now endure the play-hourpassed in the garden: sometimes on a sunny day it began even to bepleasant and genial, and a greenness grew over those brown beds,which, freshening daily, suggested the thought that Hope traversedthem at night, and left each morning brighter traces of her steps.Flowers peeped out amongst the leaves; snowdrops, crocuses, purpleauriculas, and golden-eyed pansies. On Thursday afternoons(half-holidays) we now took walks, and found still sweeter flowersopening by the wayside, under the hedges.
I discovered, too, that a great pleasure, an enjoyment which thehorizon only bounded, lay all outside the high and spike-guarded wallsof our garden: this pleasure consisted in prospect of noble summitsgirdling a great hill-hollow, rich in verdure and shadow; in abright beck, full of dark stones and sparkling eddies. How differenthad this scene looked when I viewed it laid out beneath the iron skyof winter, stiffened in frost, shrouded with snow!- when mists aschill as death wandered to the impulse of east winds along thosepurple peaks, and rolled down 'ing' and holm till they blended withthe frozen fog of the beck! That beck itself was then a torrent,turbid and curbless: it tore asunder the wood, and sent a raving soundthrough the air, often thickened with wild rain or whirling sleet; andfor the forest on its banks, that showed only ranks of skeletons.
April advanced to May: a bright, serene May it was; days of bluesky, placid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up itsduration. And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook looseits tresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, andoak skeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprangup profusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filledits hollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealthof its wild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam inovershadowed spots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre. All this Ienjoyed often and fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for thisunwonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause, to which it nowbecomes my task to advert.
Have I not described a pleasant site for a dwelling, when I speakof it as bosomed in hill and wood, and rising from the verge of astream? Assuredly, pleasant enough: but whether healthy or not isanother question.
That forest-dell, where Lowood lay, was the cradle of fog andfog-bred pestilence; which, quickening with the quickening spring,crept into the Orphan Asylum, breathed typhus through its crowdedschoolroom and dormitory, and, ere May arrived, transformed theseminary into an hospital.
Semi-starvation and neglected colds had predisposed most of thepupils to receive infection: forty-five out of the eighty girls layill at one time. Classes were broken up, rules relaxed. The few whocontinued well were allowed almost unlimited license; because themedical attendant insisted on the necessity of frequent exercise tokeep them in health: and had it been otherwise, no one had leisureto watch or restrain them. Miss Temple's whole attention wasabsorbed by the patients: she lived in the sick-room, never quittingit except to snatch a few hours' rest at night. The teachers werefully occupied with packing up and making other necessary preparationsfor the departure of those girls who were fortunate enough to havefriends and relations able and willing to remove them from the seat ofcontagion. Many, already smitten, went home only to die: some diedat the school, and were buried quietly and quickly, the nature ofthe malady forbidding delay.
While disease had thus become an inhabitant of Lowood, and deathits frequent visitor; while there was gloom and fear within its walls;while its rooms and passages steamed with hospital smells, the drugand the pastille striving vainly to overcome the effluvia ofmortality, that bright May shone unclouded over the bold hills andbeautiful woodland out of doors. Its garden, too, glowed with flowers:hollyhocks had sprung up tall as trees, lilies had opened, tulipsand roses were in bloom; the borders of the little beds were gaywith pink thrift and crimson double daisies; the sweetbriars gave out,morning and evening, their scent of spice and apples; and thesefragrant treasures were all useless for most of the inmates of Lowood,except to furnish now and then a handful of herbs and blossoms toput in a coffin.
