and in this case, as it often happens in the world, the small heads
were the most fortunate. This will serve as sufficient introduction to
our tale. One of the young volunteers, of whom, physically speaking,
it might be said that he had a great head, was on guard that evening
at the hospital. The rain was pouring down, yet, in spite of these two
obstacles, he wanted to go out just for a quarter of an hour; it was
not worth while, he thought, to make a confidant of the porter, as
he could easily slip through the iron railings. There lay the
goloshes, which the watchman had forgotten. It never occurred to him
that these could be goloshes of Fortune. They would be very
serviceable to him in this rainy weather, so he drew them on. Now came
the question whether he could squeeze through the palings; he
certainly had never tried, so he stood looking at them. "I wish to
goodness my head was through," said he, and instantly, though it was
so thick and large, it slipped through quite easily. The goloshes
answered that purpose very well, but his body had to follow, and
this was impossible. "I am too fat," he said; "I thought my head would
be the worst, but I cannot get my body through, that is certain." Then
he tried to pull his head back again, but without success; he could
move his neck about easily enough, and that was all. His first feeling
was one of anger, and then his spirits sank below zero. The goloshes
of Fortune had placed him in this terrible position, and unfortunately
it never occurred to him to wish himself free. No, instead of
wishing he kept twisting about, yet did not stir from the spot. The
rain poured, and not a creature could be seen in the street. The
porter's bell he was unable to reach, and however was he to get loose!
He foresaw that he should have to stay there till morning, and then
they must send for a smith to file away the iron bars, and that
would be a work of time. All the charity children would just be
going to school: and all the sailors who inhabited that quarter of the
town would be there to see him standing in the pillory. What a crowd
there would be. "Ha," he cried, "the blood is rushing to my head,
and I shall go mad. I believe I am crazy already; oh, I wish I were
free, then all these sensations would pass off." This is just what
he ought to have said at first. The moment he had expressed the
thought his head was free. He started back, quite bewildered with
the fright which the goloshes of Fortune had caused him. But we must
not suppose it was all over; no, indeed, there was worse to come
yet. The night passed, and the whole of the following day; but no
one sent for the goloshes. In the evening a declamatory performance
was to take place at the amateur theatre in a distant street. The
house was crowded; among the audience was the young volunteer from the
hospital, who seemed to have quite forgotten his adventures of the
previous evening. He had on the goloshes; they had not been sent
for, and as the streets were still very dirty, they were of great
service to him. A new poem, entitled "My Aunt's Spectacles," was being
recited. It described these spectacles as possessing a wonderful
power; if any one put them on in a large assembly the people
appeared like cards, and the future events of ensuing years could be
easily foretold by them. The idea struck him that he should very
much like to have such a pair of spectacles; for, if used rightly,
they would perhaps enable him to see into the hearts of people,
which he thought would be more interesting than to know what was going
to happen next year; for future events would be sure to show
themselves, but the hearts of people never. "I can fancy what I should
see in the whole row of ladies and gentlemen on the first seat, if I
could only look into their hearts; that lady, I imagine, keeps a store
for things of all descriptions; how my eyes would wander about in that
collection; with many ladies I should no doubt find a large
millinery establishment. There is another that is perhaps empty, and
would be all the better for cleaning out. There may be some well
stored with good articles. Ah, yes," he sighed, "I know one, in
which everything is solid, but a servant is there already, and that is
the only thing against it. I dare say from many I should hear the
words, 'Please to walk in.' I only wish I could slip into the hearts
like a little tiny thought." This was the word of command for the
goloshes. The volunteer shrunk up together, and commenced a most
unusual journey through the hearts of the spectators in the first row.
The first heart he entered was that of a lady, but he thought he
must have got into one of the rooms of an orthopedic institution where
plaster casts of deformed limbs were hanging on the walls, with this
difference, that the casts in the institution are formed when the
patient enters, but here they were formed and preserved after the good
people had left. These were casts of the bodily and mental deformities
of the lady's female friends carefully preserved. Quickly he passed
into another heart, which had the appearance of a spacious, holy
church, with the white dove of innocence fluttering over the altar.
Gladly would he have fallen on his knees in such a sacred place; but
he was carried on to another heart, still, however, listening to the
tones of the organ, and feeling himself that he had become another and
a better man. The next heart was also a sanctuary, which he felt
almost unworthy to enter; it represented a mean garret, in which lay a
sick mother; but the warm sunshine streamed through the window, lovely
roses bloomed in a little flowerbox on the roof, two blue birds sang
of childlike joys, and the sick mother prayed for a blessing on her
daughter. Next he crept on his hands and knees through an overfilled
butcher's shop; there was meat, nothing but meat, wherever he stepped;
this was the heart of a rich, respectable man, whose name is doubtless
in the directory. Then he entered the heart of this man's wife; it was
an old, tumble-down pigeon-house; the husband's portrait served as a
weather-cock; it was connected with all the doors, which opened and
shut just as the husband's decision turned. The next heart was a
complete cabinet of mirrors, such as can be seen in the Castle of
Rosenberg. But these mirrors magnified in an astonishing degree; in
the middle of the floor sat, like the Grand Lama, the insignificant
I of the owner, astonished at the contemplation of his own features.
At his next visit he fancied he must have got into a narrow
needlecase, full of sharp needles: "Oh," thought he, "this must be the
heart of an old maid;" but such was not the fact; it belonged to a
young officer, who wore several orders, and was said to be a man of
intellect and heart.
The poor volunteer came out of the last heart in the row quite
bewildered. He could not collect his thoughts, and imagined his
foolish fancies had carried him away. "Good gracious!" he sighed, "I
must have a tendency to softening of the brain, and here it is so
exceedingly hot that the blood is rushing to my head." And then
suddenly recurred to him the strange event of the evening before, when
his head had been fixed between the iron railings in front of the
hospital. "That is the cause of it all!" he exclaimed, "I must do
something in time. A Russian bath would be a very good thing to
begin with. I wish I were lying on one of the highest shelves." Sure
enough, there he lay on an upper shelf of a vapor bath, still in his
evening costume, with his boots and goloshes on, and the hot drops
from the ceiling falling on his face. "Ho!" he cried, jumping down and
rushing towards the plunging bath. The attendant stopped him with a
loud cry, when he saw a man with all his clothes on. The volunteer
had, however, presence of mind enough to whisper, "It is for a wager;"
but the first thing he did, when he reached his own room, was to put a
large blister on his neck, and another on his back, that his crazy fit
might be cured. The next morning his back was very sore, which was all
he gained by the goloshes of Fortune.
THE CLERK'S TRANSFORMATION
The watchman, whom we of course have not forgotten, thought, after
a while, of the goloshes which he had found and taken to the hospital;
so he went and fetched them. But neither the lieutenant nor any one in
the street could recognize them as their own, so he gave them up to
the police. "They look exactly like my own goloshes," said one of
the clerks, examining the unknown articles, as they stood by the
side of his own. "It would require even more than the eye of a
shoemaker to know one pair from the other."
"Master clerk," said a servant who entered with some papers. The
clerk turned and spoke to the man; but when he had done with him, he
turned to look at the goloshes again, and now he was in greater
doubt than ever as to whether the pair on the right or on the left
belonged to him. "Those that are wet must be mine," thought he; but he
thought wrong, it was just the reverse. The goloshes of Fortune were
the wet pair; and, besides, why should not a clerk in a police
office be wrong sometimes? So he drew them on, thrust his papers
into his pocket, placed a few manuscripts under his arm, which he
had to take with him, and to make abstracts from at home. Then, as
it was Sunday morning and the weather very fine, he said to himself,
"A walk to Fredericksburg will do me good:" so away he went.
There could not be a quieter or more steady young man than this
clerk. We will not grudge him this little walk, it was just the
thing to do him good after sitting so much. He went on at first like a
mere automaton, without thought or wish; therefore the goloshes had no
opportunity to display their magic power. In the avenue he met with an
acquaintance, one of our young poets, who told him that he intended to
start on the following day on a summer excursion. "Are you really
going away so soon?" asked the clerk. "What a free, happy man you are.
You can roam about where you will, while such as we are tied by the
foot."
"But it is fastened to the bread-tree," replied the poet. "You
need have no anxiety for the morrow; and when you are old there is a
pension for you."
"Ah, yes; but you have the best of it," said the clerk; "it must
be so delightful to sit and write poetry. The whole world makes itself
agreeable to you, and then you are your own master. You should try how
you would like to listen to all the trivial things in a court of
justice." The poet shook his head, so also did the clerk; each
retained his own opinion, and so they parted. "They are strange
people, these poets," thought the clerk. "I should like to try what it
is to have a poetic taste, and to become a poet myself. I am sure I
should not write such mournful verses as they do. This is a splendid
spring day for a poet, the air is so remarkably clear, the clouds
are so beautiful, and the green grass has such a sweet smell. For many
years I have not felt as I do at this moment."
We perceive, by these remarks, that he had already become a
poet. By most poets what he had said would be considered common-place,
or as the Germans call it, "insipid." It is a foolish fancy to look
upon poets as different to other men. There are many who are more
the poets of nature than those who are professed poets. The difference
is this, the poet's intellectual memory is better; he seizes upon an
idea or a sentiment, until he can embody it, clearly and plainly in
words, which the others cannot do. But the transition from a character
of every-day life to one of a more gifted nature is a great
transition; and so the clerk became aware of the change after a
time. "What a delightful perfume," said he; "it reminds me of the
violets at Aunt Lora's. Ah, that was when I was a little boy. Dear me,
how long it seems since I thought of those days! She was a good old
maiden lady! she lived yonder, behind the Exchange. She always had a
sprig or a few blossoms in water, let the winter be ever so severe.
I could smell the violets, even while I was placing warm penny
pieces against the frozen panes to make peep-holes, and a pretty
view it was on which I peeped. Out in the river lay the ships,
icebound, and forsaken by their crews; a screaming crow represented
the only living creature on board. But when the breezes of spring
came, everything started into life. Amidst shouting and cheers the
ships were tarred and rigged, and then they sailed to foreign lands.
"I remain here, and always shall remain, sitting at my post at the
police office, and letting others take passports to distant lands.
Yes, this is my fate," and he sighed deeply. Suddenly he paused. "Good
gracious, what has come over me? I never felt before as I do now; it
must be the air of spring. It is overpowering, and yet it is
delightful."
He felt in his pockets for some of his papers. "These will give me
something else to think of," said he. Casting his eyes on the first
page of one, he read, "'Mistress Sigbirth; an original Tragedy, in
Five Acts.' What is this?- in my own handwriting, too! Have I
written this tragedy?" He read again, "'The Intrigue on the Promenade;
or, the Fast-Day. A Vaudeville.' However did I get all this? Some
one must have put them into my pocket. And here is a letter!" It was
from the manager of a theatre; the pieces were rejected, not at all in
polite terms.
"Hem, hem!" said he, sitting down on a bench; his thoughts were
very elastic, and his heart softened strangely. Involuntarily he
seized one of the nearest flowers; it was a little, simple daisy.
All that botanists can say in many lectures was explained in a
