Jason: Where is that contract? I should have left five minutes ago. There's all that traffic and then the toll, oh! Maggie, I'm gonna need exact change for the toll. Mike: Allow me Dad. Ben, give the man a Buck.Jason: Maggie, come on, you said you'd get me some extra diapers for Chrissy. Maggie: I did, Jason. You're nervous. Jason: Well, I'm not who's comfortable with change. Ben: Then give me my quarters back. Jason: You know everything I need is right here at home; I don't need to commute, and I don't have any interruptions... Ben: And you get to watch Operah. Everybody knows, Dad. Maggie: And all these years I thought you were doing me a big favour by working at home. Jason: Well, I'm not the kind of guy to bring it up, but I am! Oh finally! Ben: Yep.
Jason: Can you believe, three thousand Dollars for textured walls! Maggie: Sure, now that I'm being offered good articles to write, I'm too busy to take them! Jason: And now that I bothered with medical school, I find out the big Bucks are in contracting! Oh Chrissy, I'm sorry, Daddy wouldn't leave without ya!
Jason: Don't cry, baby. Bye bye baby!! Goo goo! Kevin: You're a little early, the doctor’s not in yet. Jason: Oh, yes he is. Kevin: Sure he is. Jason: Oh, I'm Jason Seaver, I'm gonna be in Dr. Bigman's office this... Kevin: Right, we were expecting you. I'm Kevin Randall. Jason: Hi. Oh, I was just putting my daughter in day care. So, what's your area of expertise? Kevin: Filing, typing, steno.
Jason: Oh, you treat secretaries? Kevin: I am a secretary. In fact, I'm yours. Jason: Ah, a male secretary! That's kind of strangely...fascinating, as an idea, yes. Well, err...I'll be in my office, which is where? Paul: Jason Seaver, you son of a gun! Jason: Hey Paul! Paul: How long's it been? Jason: About a week. You had dinner at my place, remember? Paul: Oh, then why am I hugging you? Jason: Well, I don't know, you always do that when you see me; it's starting to get on my nerves. Paul: Have you seen your office? Jason: No. Paul: Then let me show you. Jason: Wow. Paul: Yeah. Alright! Jason: A male secretary?! Paul: Come on! Where have you been, Jase?
Thelma: Nice alliteration. Maggie: So, this is the day, I take a stand. Mr. Sedlovich, I am a darn good reporter, and I have worked very hard to show you that, but it's not easy when the biggest story I have done in months is, "Gingivitis, are your gums trying to tell you something!" Boss: I have failed to make use of your journalistic talent. I accept full responsibility, as of today, I'm out of here. Maggie: Well, I didn't mean that you had to quit! Boss: I didn't quit, I'm fired! Maggie: You're kidding! Boss: No. I'm fired. If I were kidding, I would not be packing all of my worldly possessions into this incredibly smelly box. Do you want my happy feet? Maggie: Oh, Mr. Sedlovich, how can they do this to you?Boss: Station manager's unhappy with our image, so we hired a media consulted. He
consulted. I'm gone.Maggie: But that is so unfair. Well, what if we're all gone? Boss: Oh, I don't think you have to worry, Maggie, I said some very nice things about you. Of course, I said some very nice things about me too, and look what happened. Well, I guess that's about it. Maggie: Mr. Sedlovich, if there's anything I can do, let me know. I mean it...anything. Boss: You know, I might take a shot at print journalism again. That guy from Esquire that keeps calling you, what's his number? Maggie: Oh, it's five six five it's... Wait a second, I... Mr. Sedlovich, I may need that number... Boss: Bye Maggie. Maggie: Bye Sid. Boss: Bye office. No number, no feet.
Mike: Oh great Mom, you're home! Maggie: Oh you are...
anyway, why not put in...I don't know...a whole wall of Japanese screens. You know, maybe do the rest of the room in some blue/grey tones, huh? Frank: I think I should have charged you by the hour. Jason: Yeah. Well, I gotta run...my colleagues are expecting me. Well I guess I can't put it off any longer, I better get into the office. Maggie: Oh, honey, you don't have to fake being down for me, I'm fine. Jason: You sure? Maggie: Yeah, what can I do? It's out of my hands. Jason: Well, that's a very good attitude. Maggie: But, if what I think is going to happen to me happens, and you have another great day...fake your little heart.
Maggie: They won't fire Dr. Claus, he's being doing the weather for ever. Dr. Claus, not you
too! Dr. Claus: Auf wiedersein. Maggie: Well if that's the way they're going to be, I don't care if they fire me. Colleague: Oh God, I hope they don't fire me.
Patient: So, I thought maybe I was wrong about my wife wanting to work. Jason: Then, we're making progress. Patient: I took your advice. I told her, you don't wanna be at home anymore, fine. Jason: Bravo. Patient: Haven't seen her for three days. Jason: I'm very sorry. Patient: I'm not. I'm just waiting for the day she comes waddling home, with her tale between her legs. Excuse me, Dr. Seaver, is that your chair ringing?
Paul: Oh wait a second, I promise I'll never hug you again.
Jason: No, Paul I have a deal with Maggie. We have always believed that one of us should be there for the kids at all times. It's her time for career opportunities, not mine! Paul: Oh, come on, give me a break, Jase. I mean look, you can make a lot of money here, and that's important for your family too. And besides, you're the man of the house, what you say goes, right?Jason: Well that's a very sexist thing to say...agreeable, but sexist.Paul: Think Jase, this office can be yours, permanently. Yes, even the chair. Jason: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you...I can't. No, I'm happy at home Paul.Paul: Wait a second, you're happy? Jason: I'm happy, I'm happy, ha ha ha ha! Paul: Jase, are you sure you're not blocking or displacing or repressing... Jason: Yes. Paul: Yes, you're repressing.
Jason: No, I'm not. Paul: Well then, you're blocking. Jason: No, no. Paul: Yes you are. Jason: No, no. Paul: Are too. Jason: Am not. Paul: Are too! Jason: Am not, am not. Paul: Yeah, you just won't admit it!! Jason: Am not! Am not! Am not! Am not! Paul: Jason is blocking, blocking, blocking, blocking!
Ben: Hey, Mike check this out! Mike: What the heck is that?
Jason: I didn't think so. Let me ask you this; do you think that a man should be boss, do you think what a man says goes? Frank: Well, that's a pretty sexist thing to say...agreeable but sexist. Jason: Well, I don't feel that way. I feel that if Maggie's happy at her job...and by the way, I'm not so sure Maggie is all that happy at her job. In fact that may not even be her job any more, if they decided who they're gonna fire! Ho ho, wouldn't that be something if Maggie got canned!!! No, no, I didn't mean that.Maggie: Hello, Jason, anybody home?Jason: Oh, hi honey. Maggie: Hi honey, how was your day? Jason: Well errm, to tell you, since you asked, there was something I kind of wanted to talk about... Maggie: Mine was absolutely, without a doubt, the most...fabulous day of my entire life!! Not
only did they not fire me they... You are looking at the core of channel nineteen's new news team. From now on we're a hard news network, and I am their number one hard news reporter! They don't want to fire me, they want to sign me to a seven year contract!!! Jason: Seven years. Maggie: Honey, is something wrong? Jason: No. No, no, that's fantastic, unexpected news. Ho ho. Seven years. Maggie: Oh, I'm sorry I cut you off, sweetheart, what was it you wanted to say?Jason: Well, errm...it doesn’t' compare to your news. Maggie: Seven years!!
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Jason: Alright, well, that's our session for today. I'll be remodeling this office, so next week we'll be at another address, OK? Patient: A real office, huh? Jason: This is a real office Mr. Lapepki, I do real work here.
Jason: Now, I'm not saying we have to have beamed ceilings, but let's not be afraid of spruce Frank: You know what, why don't we just go take a look at your office? Jason: Yes. Mike: Carol, do I detect a sudden interest in contracting? Carol: Just because I look at a good-looking guy with a nice chest of power tools, doesn't mean I'm ready to have his child!
Paul: Jason Seaver!! Jason: Paul. Paul: You son of a gun! How long's it been? Jason: About a week. You had dinner at my place, remember? Paul: Oh! Then why am I hugging you?Jason: I don't know. You always do that when you see me; you're starting to get on my nerves. Paul: Have you seen your office? Jason: No. Paul: Oh, let me show you. Jason: I really have to thank you and Phil for letting me use this office. Paul: Hey jees, hey please, don't mention Phil, huh. He's off at a Zurich conference, and I'm stuck here with a double patient load.
Jason: Oh, well, at least you're not bitter about it.
Maggie: He has got to be kidding. Thelma have you seen this assignment sheet? Thelma: No. Maggie: Thelma, you typed it.Thelma: Well yeah, but I didn't read it. That way I don't get involved.Maggie: I'm supposed to do a feature entitled, "Winterizing your Dog." So rather than writing an insightful, respectable, journalistic piece for Esquire Magazine, I'll be showing people how to put snow tyres on their Shiatsus.Thelma: Nice alliteration. Maggie: So this is the day, I take my stand.Maggie’s Boss: I have failed to make use of your journalistic talent! I accept full responsibility! As of today, I'm out of here. Maggie: Oh, well I didn't mean you have to quit. Maggie’s Boss: I didn't quit, I'm fired.
Maggie: You're kidding. Maggie’s Boss: Station manager's unhappy with our image, so he hired a media consultant, he consulted, I'm gone.Maggie: But that is so unfair! Oh, what if we're all gone?
Maggie: You certainly seem to have had a good day! Jason: Good, doesn't begin to describe it, Maggie; I had a great day! I had the most fabulous office, the people down there are terrific, and two doctors...count 'em...two doctors consulted me on their cases. I have never been so excited. How was your day? Maggie: My boss was fired, and I may be next. Paul: How would you like to take over for Phil here? Jason: Well, it's a very unexpected offer! A very attractive offer! Maybe we could do something finally about that free clinic idea, we talked about at lunch. Paul: Absolutely!
Mike: Alright, now if...if you are gonna have this party, and if this is gonna be full of frisky little horn bowls...and if! You do not want Mom and Dad finding out about this thing...
Ben: Mike, stop saying, if! I'm having the stinking party! Mike: Come on Benny, give me some diability here. Mike and Ben: Morning Dad! Jason: Only coffee! Come on, whose turn to make breakfast?Mike: Ah...Carol's. Jason: Fine, fine, I'll whip something up myself. Comes with the territory when you're the parent who works at home. Maggie: Good morning. Jason: Morning. Maggie: See you guys later. Mike: See you, Mom.Jason: Not having breakfast! Maggie: Oh honey, I can't stay. Dick and Steve said they wanted to talk to me first thing about
some of the changes they have in store for their new star reporter. Ooh, that's what they called me. Oh honey, I still can't believe all this is happening. Jason: Neither can I.
Carol: Frank... Frank: Yeah. Carol: May I touch your drill? Jason: Carol! Carol: Dad, can't you knock? Jason: I just want you to know, that it did not go unnoticed that it was your turn to make breakfast, OK? Carol: But it was Mike's turn, remember? Jason: Oh, as long as I'm here Carol, let me remind you that the reason that Frank is here this
Maggie: No I didn't... Dick: Well you're getting the director who shot that! Maggie: Really? Steve: Maggie, you can put this in the bank. Channel Nineteen is going to be spending its resources on solid, hard news. No more mini cam crews, and investigative stories, no more flashy sets and hairdressers. Dick: Sound good? Maggie: Oh boy, it sure does. Oh, but I would still get to have a...hair person, right?
Jason: ...in direct, the core of Mr. Mitchell's problem is his inability to tell his wife, how he really feels. Ha, must be contagious!Jason and Kevin: Strike that last word! Kevin: I'll have these notes, typed and on your desk before lunch.
Jason: OK Kev, good. Thanks. Kevin: Your next patient isn't due until eleven...Mrs. Proll. Jason: Oh, yes, well...err...could you... Kevin: Her file's under your elbow.Jason: I'm think of a number between one and ten, Kevin; do you know what it is?Kevin: Three. Jason: Amazing. Three, yeah; the number of days left before I say, goodbye office.Paul: Hey Jase. Jason: Hi Paul. Paul: I just got to apologise to you for giving you a hard time the other day. I was being selfish, because quite frankly I just wanted you to work here so bad. But hey listen, you made this deal with Maggie, and you should honour it, OK? I'm sorry.Jason: That's it? You're not going to try to talk me into staying again?Paul: Sorry?
Girl: Your name is Stinky? It fits! Ben: Dad, let me explain how Mike got me into this. Jason: Hey, I want you to go up to your room and don't you come down until you can shave. Ben: Shave what? Jason: I don't care! Now I sure don't need these anymore. I can't believe... My one chance to turn this whole deal thing around and I'm foolish enough to count on you kids to help! Mike, where are you going? Mike: We...well I was gonna put these in water for you, Dad. Jason: Carol, what was going on in there that you couldn't hear what was happening out here? Carol: Dad, I don't like what you're implying. Jason: Stop! Carol: What? Jason: What is on your backside?
Mike: Carol, looks to me like your butts got a big mouth. Carol: You think these are Frank's, Dad! Dad they're mine! Well, I was just talking to him and standing like this.Mike: God Carol, and Dad was worried you were hot for the guy. Jason: Maybe it's time I had a worried with Frank... Maybe more than a word. Carol: Dad, please! Jason: And another thing, you're fired!
Maggie: Chrissy's upstairs, ready to go. Where are the other kids? Jason: Well, Ben just blew through here like a shot, Carol mumbled something about breakfast at work, and Mike...hey who's seen him? Maggie: I can't say I blame them. You were pretty rough on them last night. Jason: Well, do you think I over-reacted? Maggie: I didn't say, over-reacted. Jason: No, but you think that, don't you? Mmm?
