Student 2: And is it true they graduated you, just to get rid of you? Mike: Where'd you hear that? Scuzz: You're a legend here, man. Mike: Yeah? Student 2: And now he's our teacher. Alright! Student: Hey, I don't think I ever had a cool teacher before. Mike: Thanks. Student: Oh, oh, you got to tell us about the time you snook the camera into the girls locker rooms. Mike: Which time? Student 2: Tell us about the time you killed Mr. Buginshoes! Mike: Well, that was blown a little out of proportion! Student 2: Yeah!
Student: Get out o' here, Mike! Mike: Hey, look guys, there’s' plenty of time for fun stories, right? But first we got to get this quiz out of the way. Students: Huh? What? No way. Mike: Hey, hey, look guys, come on, this was not my idea. Now just pass these things out. If you need help sharpening your pencils, then.... Good one guys! Hey, where's the quizzes? Students: Smokey! Fire! Smokey! Mike: I know it's here somewhere. Ah, hi, Mr. Dewitt. Hey. Dewitt: Problems already, Seaver? Mike: Ah, no, no, not at all, sir. Dewitt: You got them to take the quiz? Mike: Well, let's just say, I lit a fire under 'em. Dewitt: Good.
Mike: Oh yeah! Dewitt: Round two. Go get 'em!
Mike: Hey! Hey! No! You guys be quiet! Thanks. Look, before we have any fun, we gotta get these quizzes out of the way. Pupil: Hey, Mike Seaver, it really is you! Mike: Yeah! Pupil: Hey, hey look man. We wanted to get you a little something. It's not an apple, but we figured it's something you could use. Pupils: Woooo!!! Mike: Hey! Hey!
Maggie: OK, Chrissy, this is a dictionary, and it's filled with words...wonderful words, clean
words. Carol: Mom, where's the mop? Maggie: Oh, I'm airing out from the last time. Carol: Well it's the next time again. I'll get it. Maggie: Well the beauty of this book, Chrissy, is that you can say any word in it, and you won't make Mommy mad. Carol: Mom, what are you doing? Maggie: Oh, I'm teaching Chrissy the beauty of the English language. OK, Chrissy, pick any page here you want. Chrissy. Look, what page? OK, that's good. Now, point to any word here at all. Chrissy: Goo goo. Maggie: Good, good, that's very good. Now, that word is... How did that word get in the dictionary? I didn't know that word until I was twenty one. I didn't know I had one until last Saturday. Chrissy, let's pick another word. OK? Chrissy: ****! Carol: Mom!
girls: Woo!!
Mike: (In his head) Last class, Mike, you can get through this. Come on, you've never let Dewitt beat you, you can't start today. Dewitt: (In Mike's head) Yes you can Mr. Seaver. Mike: (In his head) Mr. Dewitt, what are you doing in my head? Dewitt: (In Mike's head) Mr. Seaver, I'm everywhere. Students: Wooo! Seaver! Mike: Scuzz, hey Scuzz, wait a minute, you're not in this class. Scuzz: When I heard you was teaching it, I decided to audit it. Student: Yeah, me too. Scuzz: And then the word started spreading, this was the place to be and then... students: Wooo!!
Student 2: Mikey, I liberated this from the AV room, I figured we could check out this documentary. Mike: Cowgirls in Spain. Student 2: Yippee yaw yey! Oh, and the beer's on its way.Pupil: This'll be the best party of the year. Students: Alright! Pupil: Hey, you're a very popular teacher, Mike! Students: Yeah!!!Mike: I am not a teacher, alright? Scuzz: You bet you aint. And that's the beauty of this deal; for once we've got someone behind the big desk, who's like us. Students: Yeah!! Mike: I'm not like you. Student 2: Hey, pull the shades, it's time to learn something, class. Mike: Turn off the movie, alright? Students: Wow!! Scuzz: That's right, you wait until Mike gets a good seat. Mike: Hey, I am not like you. Scuzz: Oh, that's OK, we got one of those films too. Student 2: Show time!
Mike: Well, Mr. Dewitt, they're taking a quiz, I mean, isn't that' what you wanted?
Dewitt: I wanted you to feel bad about every teacher you mistreated in your academic career! And I use that term in its broadest sense. I wanted you to crack and cry like a baby on a cold vermilion floor, like I do in my office every morning. Mike: Isn't it carpeted? Dewitt: Well yes it is...Seaver! Mike: Eyes on your papers, people! You were saying... Dewitt: I was saying... Wait a minute, you expect me to fall for this act? You're paying these people off, of course. Mike: Mr. Dewitt, I...I'm not paying anyone off, alright? And even if I did, it wouldn't have worked. You know, I've tried being funny with these people, I've tried being nice, I've tried being cool, but the only thing that ever got through to them was when I was an...an uncool, iron-fisted tyrant! Dewitt: Tyrant?
Mike: Yeah. Dewitt: Seaver, you just used a two syllable word. Mike: That's why teachers can't be cool! That's why you're such a bozo! Dewitt: That's righ... Mike: Mr. Dewitt, look, I've got something to tell you; teaching is a tough job!! Dewitt: No! Mike: You know, I got another thing to say; it's that those kids are gonna take that test tomorrow, if it kills me. Mr. you better have a real good reason for being out of your seat, and Mr. get your ears away from this door, as this conversation has nothing to do with you! Dewitt: Good golly, Miss Molly. Mike: What? Dewitt: There's theory among educators that all talk about when we gather at the...teacherplace
.Thetheorygoeslikethis;ifwe couldtakeoneofourgoof-offs,theones weawho suck up our energy and give nothing back. If we could take such a student and turn him so that he could use his powers for good instead of evil, he, oh he, would be the perfect teacher...the one! The one, we've always been waiting for. You could be this man. Mike: Me, a perfect teacher? Dewitt: Chilling, isn't it? Mike: Well, Mr. Dewitt, I don't know about being perfect, but I sure smell like a teacher. Dewitt: Ah, yes, the mixture of flop sweat and cheap clothing, I know it well. Mike: Hey, look Mr. Dewitt, I'm really sorry for all the grief I ever gave you... Dewitt: Well Mike, if you're the one, none of that matters. Mike: Well, you know, I mean, all of the stuff I said behind your back and like the time that I put the...the PA mike in your private bathroom... Dewitt: Oh Mike yes.... That was you!! Mike: Yeah. Dewitt: Mr. Seaver... Mike: I got to go check on my class, alright? And thank you for all the nice things you said about me. Dewitt: Maybe I am imagining all this. Maybe I am hallucinating. I know, I have the flu. I do. I have the flu. I'm out of here.
Jason: Wait a minute, slow down. You've had quite a day now, just take it easy. You've learned something today, nobody ever thought you would...especially your parents. The question is, what are you gonna do with all this new found knowledge? Listen to me, now are you not to
Chrissy: ****!
沪江英语编辑部
Growing Pains 520 V2.0
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沪江英语Maggie: OK Ben, we'll be back from the theatre by eleven, unless your father springs an after show supper...we'll be back by eleven. Now, you know Chrissy's diapers are and I laid out her pajamas, and I don't think it's a very good idea for you to have any friends over. Stinky: Hey Ben, Big Bad Mama's on cable tonight! Maggie: Stinky, I think you're gonna have to go home now. Stinky: I'm not allowed at home whenever my mom and dad rent video tapes. Maggie: Hello. Mike, somebody's calling about your car ad!! Ben: He's not here; it’s outside showing his car to a ripe one. Mike: Now I'm not selling flash or chrome or any space-age ignition systems like the cars you've been considering. I'm talking about reliable transportation from a country that was a major participant in world war two. Did I mention, it floats? Carol: Mike, a lot of things float. Mike: I am insulted. Carol: Mike, forget it. Mike: No, no, Carol, do me just this one favour, after all the good times we've had together. Carol: Do I count this one? Mike: Not yet. Come on, just try me Carol, I mean look... Carol: Shut up, I'll take it for a spin Mike: Good. Have a spin. By the way, you are sitting on something that did not require the slaughter of a single living thing. Carol: Then why does it smell in here? Mike: I'll tell you after the cheque clears. Carol: Where's the key? Mike: Ah, interesting, Carol. I have done away with the inconvenience of keys. Carol: What? Mike: Yeah, you just touch the little red wire to the blue wire. Aha, I assume my anti-theft system is on guard. Maggie: Honey, why are you drinking coffee, we're gonna be late for the theatre. Jason: Oh, relax Maggie, the curtain doesn't go up until eight forty five. Maggie: Oh, well that's an odd time for a Broadway play to start. Jason: Yeah, well they have to clear all the dishes. Maggie: What dishes? Jason: From the dinner. Maggie: Jason, what Broadway theatre serves dinner before the show? Jason: Oh, I said we were going to a Broadway play, I didn't say were going to Broadway theatre. Maggie: So, we're not going into New York. Jason: Not if you want to make it to Perambis by show time.
Maggie: So, instead of going to Broadway, we're going to a dinner theatre in New Jersey and we're not even having dinner! Jason: Honey! I don't know about you, but when I'm going to see Charles Nelson Riley, I don't care where he performs. Maggie: Hello. Oh, yes I think it's still for sale. I'll try and find him. Mike!!! Mike: What? Maggie: It's for you, it's about your car. Mike: Oh, thanks.Jason: Are you gonna talk? Mike: Err, yeah, Dad, come on, if I look too anxious this guy's gonna think something's wrong with the car. Jason: I thought there was. Mike: See. Ah, hello, sir, sorry sorry for the wait, but I was just out showing my V Dub to a young publishing executive who's test driving it now. Jason: What young publishing executive?
Stinky: He's not here. Carol: Then my parents! Stinky: They're out seeing Charles Manson Riley. Carol: Then let me talk to Ben. Stinky: Oh, hi Carol, how's it going? Carol: Just get Ben!! Stinky: Ben, phone for you, it's Carol! Ben: Take a message, I'm in the can. Stinky: He's in the can. Carol: Stinky, I need to talk to him, it's a life or death situation. Stinky: It's a life or death situation! Ben: So's what I'm doing! Stinky: So is what he's doing.
Carol: Help Ben find my mom and dad and tell them that I'm... Stinky: Errm, Carol, could you hold on, I think there's a call waiting. Carol: Look Stinky, this is more important... Stinky: Hello, Seaver residence, Stinky speaking. Oh, hi Laura, it's Stinky. Ben, it's Laura-Lynn! Ben: Alright, alright, alright! Hello. Oh, hi Laura. Aha. Both your parents are gone! Yeah, I think I could stop by some time tonight. I think it'll be late. Aha. Alright. Thanks. Bye. Well what are you waiting for Chrissy, grab Stinky and let's go. Stinky: I think he's got that backwards. Ben! I'm not going to answer it, it's never for me. Answer phone message (Maggie and Jason): It's OK, we know a lot of people try to leave cutesy little messages on their machines, but not us. Leave your massage at the tone, doo da doo da. We'll call back when we're at home, do di doo da day. Hey! Carol: (Leaving a message on the machine) Stinky, pick up! Ben you little rodent, where are
Jason: Chrissy! Maggie: Chrissy! What are you doing out here all alone? Jason: Ben, what's going on here? Ben: Oh, I was just gonna give her this suck box. Jason: What did you call me? Ben: You explain it, Mom. Maggie: No Ben, you explain why you and your baby sister are up past midnight and why she is wearing this jacket. Ben: Hey, she's going through this overcoat stage. I've been with her, on the couch, all evening. Jason: Is that why there are phone messages? Ben: Ah, well you know what you've told me about not answering the phone when I'm home alone.
Maggie: Ben, we never told you any thing like that. Ben: Oh, right that was President Bush. Maggie: So you've heard all these phone messages as they were coming in. Answer phone Messages: (Carol) Stinky, pick up! Ben, you little rodent, where are you? This isn't funny. I'm in jail and they're about to de-louse me. Somebody better do something quick! Jason: Jail! Answer phone message continued: Is anybody there? Mom! Mom! Maggie: Oh, yes honey, I'm coming!! Oh, come on, Jason. Answer phone message: (Laura-Lynn) Hi Benjamin, this is Laura-Lynn, I had a great time tonight. Let's do it again next time my parents are out. Maggie: Ben, this is serious. Ben: You're telling me. There's some kid going around this town pretending he's me, with my girl!
Prison Warden: Seaver! Carol Seaver! Carol: Yes.
Carol: Alright, now when do we meet with the lawyer. Maggie: Tomorrow, right before we see the judge. Carol: But we need time to gather our evidence, interview witnesses, take depositions... Jason: Hey, w...w...ait...wait, wait! It's gonna be a lot simpler than that. Carol: Really?Jason: Yes, Fiman says as long as you plead guilty in the judge's chambers tomorrow, there'll
be no trial, no hearing, nothing goes on your record. Carol: But I'm not guilty! Maggie: Honey, that's not the important thing here! What's important is that you don't get yourself in deeper than you already are. Carol: What's more important than justice? Mike: My car, where the heck is it? Carol: Impounded, like I was for six hours. Mike: Oh, that's horrible. Carol: Well, it was for a while, Mike, but I'm OK now. Mike: They got my cute little car. Maggie: Mike, your sister has been through a lot tonight, can you please show a little compassion. Mike: Oh, sorry about the jail thing. How am I gonna get my car back!?
Carol: Mike, forget your car! This is bigger than your stinking car! Mike: Boy, prison has made you a bitter woman. Carol: Mom, Dad, I want a full vindication, and I will not rest until my name is clear. Jason: W...wait, wait, Carol, this could drag on for months and months. Do you really want that to happen? Carol: Well you always told me not to lie, and I do not want to say I'm guilty when I'm not. Maggie: What if this thing goes to trial and somehow they find you guilty of resisting arrest. You could go to prison. Carol: I'm innocent. Maggie: Carol, sometimes they find innocent people guilty, you've got to remember what's important here. Mike: My car! Maggie: No. Your future. Carol: Mom!
Carol: Mmm. Sidney: Don't worry, I'll take good care of you. Mike: I'm Mike and I could use a little care myself. Sidney: I may have to throw you to the wolves to save your sister. Maggie: So, this is why you didn't mind taking our lawyer out to lunch and didn't mind paying.
