Ben: Oh, we're kidding ourselves. There's no way we're gonna pass this exam. Stinky: Speak for yourself, I haven't got a single question wrong. Ben: That's because you got the book right in front of you. Maggie: Ben, Carol says you need my help. Ben: I do not! Look Mom, the studying is coming along just fine. In fact I was just commenting to Stinky, how much fun learning is. Maggie: Well, I hope so, Ben; because if you bring home another D in Science, you'll see another side of me, you've never seen before. Stinky: Does it have a pouch? Ben: See Mom, we know this stuff so well, we're already telling jokes about it. Stinky just called you a Gasiopod. Carol: Marsupial! Marsupial! Ben: Well at least we know which animal has a blow whole, don't we, Carol?
Ben: A!
Stinky: No. Ben: B. St Uh uh. Ben: C. Stinky: Wrong. Ben: D. Stinky: Uh uh. Ben: Well it's gotta be one of them. Stinky: Trick question. Ben: I don't need a trick question. I need an easy one. Stinky: Was it just me, or was Laura-Lynn not wearing a bra today? Ben: Stinky, that's not gonna be on the exam. And she was wearing a bra. Stinky: No. You got that wrong too. Vito: Yo guys!
Mike: Well, you better go and explain that to them because they think the reason you took off
is because you found some fool-proof way to cheat. Ben: How do they know these things? Mike: Well Benny, I think it's time you were told; Mom and Dad are witches. Ben: What? Mike: Oh, come on, don't tell me you haven't suspected it. I mean haven't you heard those strange noises coming from their room at night. I mean and sometimes Dad's not even there! Ben: Yeah. Mike: Snap out of it, Ben. Benny, come on, the only reason they know you do this stuff is because you're a slimy little kid. Ben: It shows, huh? Mike: Benny, look, just because they know every move you're gonna make, there's no reason not to go through with this fool-proof plan of yours. Ben: It isn't?
Mike: Of course it is. You're a walking dead man. Ben: But you just said... Mike: I know what I just said, but Benny, I like messing with your mind; it's one of the joys I have as your older brother. OK, now all things aside, when you go inside that house, don't panic, be very cool and don't crack. Ben: Right! Right! Mike: Alright, you can do it bro. Ben: Alright, thanks a lot, Mike. Mike: And don't be throw by the fact that they know every thought in your head before you even think it. Ben: Thanks for nothing, Mike. And for your information, I can handle Mom and Dad. I will be completely cool. Jason: How interesting. Ben: Oh, Dad I just meant...
Ben: I can't cheat, Vito, they're on to me. Vito: Your not thinking. You don't have to get 'em all right. Just make sure you get a couple wrong. Ben: But how do I do that? Vito: Just be yourself. Mike: They're witches Ben, they're witches. Maggie: Ben, you bring home another D in Science, you'll see a side of me, you have never
seen before! Carol: Ben, if I haven't mentioned it before, disappointment to me and the other marsupials. Vito: Come on Ben, cheat! Stinky: Yeah, Ben, cheat! Jason: Of course it's not OK to cheat! let me mention it now; you're a real
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Vito: Hey, who'll know? Mike: They're witches, Ben. Stinky: What else can you do? Carol: Marsupial! Marsupial! Maggie: And your little dog too. Leotard Girl: And one and two and three! Ben: Who are you? Leotard Girl: Well, I'm the girl from the leotard shop who you thought would look good in your room. Ben: I never said that out loud. Leotard Girl: Ben, you can A, wrestle with ethical dilemma of cheating, B, study the other two hundred and sixty pages that you ignored this semester or C, watch me aerobicise. Ben: Is there a D? Jason: There will be if you don't wake up!
Jason: Ben, wake up! Ben: Aarrghh! Dad, you're not a woman! Jason: Not for years. You OK, Ben?
Ben: Yes sir. Jason: Now come on, let's go! Forget that nonsense, Ben, you can do it! Study hard, hit those books! Let's get the best grade you can. I have faith in you!
Vito: Hey Ben, you are never gonna believe this. I dreamed that the girl from the leotard shop showed up in my room and aerobicised for me. Ben: You too! Stinky: You guys aren't gonna believe the dream I had.
Ben: Girl from the leotard shop. Vito: Aerobicising in your room. Stinky: No. Carol's in this kangaroo suit hopping all over my bed. Vito: Stinky, you are on sick little dude. Stinky: Thanks. Ben, you look like doggy doo. Ben: I should, I was up till four studying. Vito: Why would you study till four? You got the cheat sheet. Ben: I'm not using it, OK? Stinky: Why?Ben: Let's just say, my parents are witches. Teacher: Attention, Science students. I have some bad news! There was a disaster in the ditto room and...your tests have been destroyed. Students: Yeah!
Teacher: Just kidding. I'm messing with your minds, it's one of the few joys of being a teacher. OK, keep your eyes on your paper. Keep your arms and legs inside the car and fasten your seatbelts, it's gonna be a bumpy ride! Ben: (In his head) Which of these four is not a marsupial? A, kangaroo, B, wombat, C, a possum D, your sister. Oh, I'm so confused. Sure, they're happy now, but cheaters never win. Eventually they're gonna get an A.
Ben: (In his head) Mom, Dad, the first thing that my report card will show you is that I didn't cheat. Na, I can do better than that. You know, I don’t' think my report card is that important in light of the recent events in the Soviet Union. Na, if I mention the Soviet Union, they're gonna bring up my grade in Current Events. OK, now the best thing to do is not to mention my report card at all; just keep it under my hat and try to see which way the wind blows. Yeah, I think I can do that. Mike: Yo, Benny! Ben: Hey, Mike, what are you doing here? Mike: Having lunch with my friends. Ben: Are Mom and Dad around? Mike: Ah...report card day. Ben: How do you know? Mike: Hey Benny, I can smell the fear in the air...smells like defeat.
Mike: Listen Ben, I gotta run! Ben: You're leaving! Mike: Yeah, well I don't want any of what's coming your way to land on me.
Maggie: Ben, we don't get upset as long as you do your best, but a D is not your best and you know it. Jason: You're starting high school next year, Ben, it's only gonna get tougher. I hope this two week grounding is gonna impress upon you the fact that you cannot let a class slide all sememster and then suddenly catch up in one night. Maggie: That means, no TV, no hanging out after school with your friends. You are up in your room studying. Ben: Perhaps you over-looked my A in Health. Maggie: That only proves that you can do it if you want to.
Jason: And if you can't pull up that D on your final report card, you're gonna be doing time in summer school. Ben: Um...you know I could've gotten an A. Jason: By cheating Ben! Is that what you're brining up now? Ben: Um...no... Jason: Come on, Ben. You know what happens to cheaters. Ben: Yeah, yeah, they never win. Maggie: Exactly. Ben: Is that rule, they never win or they hardly ever win? Because... Jason: Come on, you're missing the whole point on purpose. Now forget cheating, we're talking about you working up to your potential! Vito: Yo, Benny! Maggie: OK, Ben, we won't embarrass you in front of your little friend. Go tell Vito that your grounding starts right now and that he has to leave. Jason: Damn, what's with that kid? Who does he remind you of? Maggie: Mike. Jason: Exactly. Of course, he turned out alright. Maggie: No he didn't. Ben: Hi guys, look I...
Ben: Nothing. Go on. Jason: Well, the...advice I gave you last week about cheating Ben, was...wrong. Ben: Sure was. Jason: I'm not saying it was wrong...it was incomplete. Ben: Oh, so it is gonna be one of those talks. Jason: Ben, don't pout like a kid. Come on, I'm trying to talk to you as an adult. Look, when I told you cheaters never win, Ben, I thought that was all you needed to know. But there is a lot more to it, because cheaters do win. Ben: Not only do they win, they win cash. Jason: Sometimes it's even bigger than that. Sometimes they win gold medals at the Olympics; on a rare occasion they even win the White House. Ben: Dad, I'm not following this. I mean, if you can cheat, and get away with it, then what's wrong with it?
Jason: Ben, the way you see cheating really depends on how you see the whole world. Ben: I don't understand it at all. I got a D in Science, remember? Jason: Look...why are we on this earth, Ben? What's the point of our lives. You know, I mean we all have to make a choice, you either see things as order or chaos. And if you see the world as chaos, then there's no point in life at all. You know, nothing matters. We're all just a bunch of people running around we're bumping into each other, having fun, making noises till we die. We're just taking up space, Ben, and I can't believe in that. Well look, if you see...if you see the world as having order, Ben, then there's a reason to everything. There's a reason to get up in the morning, there's a reason to make something of your life; there's a reason for learning, Ben, it all fits together. And if learning is important, Ben, then cheating is wrong. Ben: Even when you get away with it? Jason: What's getting away with it? Ben: Not getting caught. Jason: Which means? Ben: Getting an A. Jason: So does what does the A mean? Ben: Ten Bucks! Jason: So what does it mean you've learned? Ben: Nothing! Jason: Well then you've been cheating for nothing! Ben: Yes! Jason: What's the point in it? Ben: Does there have to be a point? Jason: Yes Ben, or there's chaos!
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沪江英语Professor Thorn: So, we have reached that magical time, the last drama project of the year. Now, upon graduation from Landen, many of you will go on to pursue your theatre dreams in Broadway, television, the cinema; or if you're really serious by becoming a waiter. This night of scenes is an important opportunity for all of you to, as we say in show business, suck up. Many of my New York heavy-weight theatre friends will be in attendance, so there's a lot more riding on this evening than just a good grade...possibly a future. (In Mike's imagination) Professor Thorn: What can I say, he acts, he directs, he is theatre...Michael Seaver. Mike: Well I always thought I was kind of good, but I didn't know I was this good. Kate, well what are you doing here dressed like that? Kate: It's your dream, you tell me. Professor Thorn: And so after two weeks, we will show it to you... Kate: Mike, stop smiling. Mike: Oh, sorry, right, I was day dreaming about what could happen...and what you'd be wearing when it did. (Jason and Maggie are playing basketball) Maggie: Alright...ooh...and in! And she scores again. It's not even a contest! Jason: Yep, yep, yep. All in energy in the world out here, and when we get upstairs...zippo. Maggie: Pardon me? Jason: Nothing sweetheart. Maggie: Oh, what was that score? I forgot. Jason: The score...what's the point... The point is for us to get a little exercise, isn't it? Maggie: Uh hu, that's why you are losing. Thirteen months younger and he folds like a tent. Kate: You cheated! Mike: I did not. Kate: Let me see the coin. Mike: Hey, look, I won the toss fair and square... Jason: Remember what you and I used to flip coins over? Maggie: Oh, do I! You always called pence. Jason: I still do. Mike: Look Kate, you're just being a sore loser. Kate: Oh, yeah!Mike: Fair is fair, Kate! Kate: Fair is fair, Kate! Fair is fair, Kate! Jason: Mike, Mike, you don't even try to explain when they're in a mood like that. Maggie: They!
Jason: Not you honey. I'm talking about young women. No, I meant women without... Maggie: Do you really wanna finish this sentence? Jason: Na.Maggie: OK, what's the deal, Mike? Mike: Oh, don't worry guys. It was just a professional disagreement. I mean, see, Kate and I are both directing scenes for drama class, and we both want the same actress. Jason: Oh, Kate's jealous, huh? Mike: No Dad, I told you, this is professional. Don't you know anything about modern women? Jason: Well... Maggie: No he doesn't. What's so special about this actress? Mike: Well, see, she's done sit-coms, and she's done real plays. Oh and Dad, OK, you know that commercial, with the girl and chimpanzee and they shave her legs? Jason: Yes. Mike: Yes. She takes classes at Landen. Jason: The chimp or the actress?
Mike: No.Courtney: Well, it doesn't matter. I'm sorry Mike, but good luck with your play anyway.
Mike: Oh, thanks.Courtney: You're doing a scene from Night of the Iguana? You're doing Tennessee Williams! Mike: Well yeah... Courtney: I have been dying to do something by Williams! Mike: Oh, great, well then do it. Courtney: But what do I tell Kate? Mike: Tell Kate, she's a dirty, double-crossing, back-stabbing.... It doesn't matter if she's got great eyes, beautiful hair and a killer body.
Mike: Morning everybody and welcome to Night of the...Iguana. OK, before we start, I just wanna say a couple of things. First, thank you all for coming, especially you Courtney. Courtney: Oh, Mike, come on. Mike: Everyone have a seat and we'll read through the scene, OK? (In Mike's head) With lights
down we can hear the surf. It's a quiet evening in Mexico, but passions run deep. Oh, she is so bad. Man, is she bad? And she's done sit-coms! Well I be none of the ones on ABC. Courtney: Mike! Mike! That's the end of the scene. Do you wanna run it again from the top? Mike: Err...No. (In his head) One more word and I'll shoot myself. (Spoken) I think everyone's worked pretty hard for the first day, so I'll see everybody tomorrow. Courtney: Do you have any notes you want me to think about for tomorrow. Mike: (In his head) Yeah, don't come back. (Spoken) No, no, no, I think it's going pretty good. Courtney: 'Cause if you have concerns, don't hesitate to speak up. Mike: (In his head) You stink, like a dead mackerel. (Spoken) No, I got nothing to say. Courtney: OK, see you tomorrow. Mike: OK, bye bye. (In his head) I wonder if that chimp is available. Kate: Oh, excuse me. Courtney: Oh, Kate, listen, I hope Mike explained to you how bad I felt about not doing your scene.
Mike: (In his head) Yes! Yes! She's stinking up the joint. She's history, she'll realise and quit.
She's related to all those people, that's the only explanation. Kate: I suppose I should blame myself for trusting a guy with a two-headed coin. Mike: What are you talking about? Kate: Oh, Kate, she's terrible. She played Night of the Iguana, and the iguana won. Mike: What, you thought she was good? Kate: Yes.Mike: This has got to be a dream. Wait a minute, this can't be a dream, you've got all your clothes on. Kate: If what that girl did out there tonight is your idea of terrible, you have no place anywhere near a stage. Courtney: Oh, Mike, they loved it! Congratulations! Mike: Um...you had doubts?Maggie: Oh, Mike, you can act, you can direct, you can do it all!
