实验结果如何?和冷水实验一样,忍受较长时间的大肠镜检查(主观上比较糟)、但结尾没那么痛的病患,他们记忆中整场经验比较不痛,以后比较可能再做一次做大肠镜检查。
相关实验告诉我们一件重要的事:一段经历的尾声,深深影响我们记住那段经历的方式。不论是全家出门度假、公司出游或谈判,最好有美好的收尾。
以卡札狄亚的例子来说,他第一次碰到巴瑞斯时,让巴瑞斯很满意,因此第二次再遇上他时,谈判顺利许多。不只是危机谈判出现这样的现象,我们答应起薪、与客户达成协议,或是请邻居小孩除草时,我们未来很可能会再度与对方合作,如果对方这次的感受不太好,可能就不想再与我们合作。然而,如果我们能让事情结束在合作的气氛之中,对方下一次可能会再度和我们打交道,甚至给我们更好的东西。
和睦的结尾,能让我们在未来得到更多的机会。如同满意的顾客会再度光顾,满意的谈判伙伴也会再回来找我们。此外,满意的人会口耳相传,帮我们建立名声,一传十、十传百,更多人抢着与我们合作。让一个谈判对象满意,不只会带来一个回头客,还会吸引其它人。
此外,今日让谈判对象满意,明日就更能取得让步,「记得上次我给你多好的条件吗?这次我需要你帮一点小忙。」反过来也一样,如果对方觉得上次拿到的条件不好,下次会想要讨回来。换句话说,无法释怀的不公平感会化友为敌。
· 面露笑容时要小心
怎么做可以让谈判的另一方开心离开?方法与本书开头讨论的「社会比较」有关。还记得吗?不论是薪水、体重或人际关系,我们靠着「社会比较」了解自己的表现。同样重要的是,「社会比较」会影响我们满意自己的程度。
我们和他人达成协议时,立刻变成对方第一个社会信息来源。他们想知道自己是否得到一笔好交易时,寻找的第一个线索是什么?答案是我们的表情。如果我们有些垂头丧气,我们传递的讯息是:这是一场艰难的战役,最后对方占了上风。
如果我们露出大大的微笑,则是在发送非常不一样的讯息:我们对于结果感到非常满意……此时,另一方会担心自己是不是被占便宜了。事实上,西北大学莉.汤普森(Leigh Thompson)的研究显示,签约时表现得太快乐,是在告诉对方他们达成不利的交易。你可以表达自己欣慰能达成协议,但千万别表现得太快乐,以免对方认为你愚弄了他们。
经验丰富的政治人物懂这个道理。以冷战为例,美国与苏联两个敌手互相对抗了数十年,投下数兆美元抢夺在全球与太空的领导地位,其中两方最严重的冲突引爆点是东西德分裂。之后,苏联失去在东欧的影响力,柏林围墙倒塌这个著名的历史事件象征着冷战结束。开心的德国人用锤子敲碎围墙,甚至徒手去拆。
对美国人来说,柏林围墙倒塌代表着这场历经数十年、鲜少能明确证明自己获胜的对抗,这下子终于有可以欢呼的胜利。那么美国总统老布什(George H. W. Bush)有什么反应?他轻描淡写地表示:「本人深感欣慰。」这句话实在太普通,老布什后来不得不为自己辩解:「我不是那种喜怒哀乐都表现在脸上的人。」不过,老布什私底下大概乐翻了。他的国务卿詹姆斯.贝克(James Baker)回忆:「布什拒绝幸灾乐祸。」老布什知道,自己依旧得和苏联领导人打交道,沾沾自喜无助于未来的互动。
此外,达成交易时,我们还得注意另一件事,以免让谈判的另一方沮丧:一定要慢慢来。想想许多人到国外旅游碰到的经验就知道。你造访当地市场,有很多小贩在卖小东西,你看到有个花瓶满漂亮的,你停下来,拿起花瓶仔细研究。小贩要你出个价,你想起以前看过的其它花瓶,开口说:「40美元!」小贩立刻同意,帮你包起来。
此时你有什么感觉?
再想象一下,如果小贩没同意,摇头说要60美元才够。你坚守立场,讨价还价了很久,老板终于同意:「那就50美元好了。」此时你有什么感觉?
当然,第一种情形我们理应比较开心,因为省了10美元与讨价还价的二十分钟。然而依据我们与西北大学麦维教授的研究,如果对方立刻答应我们第一次的出价,我们会懊悔不已:「我出太多了!」就算其实很划算,对方立刻答应,还是会让我们沮丧。
考虑到另一方的观点后,我们知道永远都不应该立刻答应对方第一次的出价。要求对方提高价格与让步,不但可以达成更好的交易,还能让对方心满意足。
· 结束其实是开始
在本书的结尾,我们学到,就算已经成交,依旧得处理合作与竞争之间的张力,而且还得放眼未来。
「commencement」这个英文字很能说明相关道理。这个字让人想起代表「结束」的事件,例如中学或大学毕业典礼。然而,「commencement」的字根「commence」却是「开始」的意思。因此,毕业典礼其实代表着新开始。如同毕业生踏上追求新机会的旅程,我们结束互动或达成交易的方式,开启了接下来每一件事。
不要忘了,接下来会发生的事,不会只是合作,也不会只是竞争,而是时而合作,时而竞争。我们在不稳定的社会争取稀缺资源时,不能光是准备好合作,也不能光是准备好竞争,而是竞争之中有合作,合作之中有竞争。
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
谢辞
我们得到许许多多人的协助,才能通过终点线。首先我们要感谢经纪人吉姆.列文(Jim Levine),要是没有他的鼓励、智慧与温和的催促,我们永远无法完成本书。我们还要感谢塔利亚.克罗恩(Talia Krohn)让我们写出能见人的草稿。如果各位依旧觉得不好读,应该看看塔利亚编辑前的版本!塔利亚不但有锐利的双眼,也有开放的心胸,感谢她愿意与我们讨论本书几乎每一个面向。
我们努力让本书充满趣味十足的例子,其中许多来自尚恩.法司(Sean Fath)、提姆.法蓝克(Tim Flank)与安娜塔西亚.乌索法(Anastasia Usova)。我们也要感谢尚恩与安娜塔西亚确认每一份研究、每一则故事的出处。我们感谢他们付出的心血。
有太多人协助编辑各章节与提供建议,他们让我们免于尴尬的错误,还让内容更简洁、更通顺。我们要感谢艾瑞克.安尼屈、亚当.格兰特、艾瑞卡.豪尔(Erika Hall)、席娜.艾言格(Sheena Iyengar)、艾丽斯.李、乔.马基、雪柔.桑德伯格、克劳德.修恩伯格(Claude Schoenberg)、沙洁.席瑞佛(Sargent Shriver)、罗德瑞克.史瓦伯、安迪.托德(Andy Todd)、珍.惠特森(Jenn Whitson)、辛迪.王(Cindy Wang)。
我们也要感谢约书华.济伊(Joshua Keay)提供书封设计灵感,他将本书的精神化为惊人视觉设计!
亚当的话:
我要感谢哥哥麦可与我的另一半珍妮弗.欧雷恩(Jennifer Olayon)。麦可在我最需要的时候催促我、鼓励我、挑战我。他是杰出的创意艺术家与纪录片制作人,他从本书的第一版草稿,就用他的电影专长帮忙编辑。珍的爱与支持,让我得以打起精神整理堆积如山的文献。她提供举办多元会议的关键专业见解,永远鼓励我们让本书纳入多元观点。她是我的心灵支柱,这本书是我的,也是她的。
我要感谢太多导师、同事、学生,他们引导我思考,带来本书灵感。大力支持我的导师包括:珍.贝瑞特(Jeanne Brett)、盖伦.博登浩森(Galen Bodenhausen)、约尔.库柏(Joel Cooper)、黛伯.葛鲁芬德、理查德.哈克曼(Richard Hackman)、丹尼尔.康纳曼、玛西亚.强森(Marcia Johnson)、艾琳.雷曼(Erin Lehman)、维琦.麦维(Vicki Medvec)、戴尔.米勒(Dale Miller)、凯斯.莫尼汉(Keith Murnighan)、戈登.莫斯寇维滋、杰夫.史东,以及莉.汤普森。
鼓励我的研究同仁包括:亚裘.亚当(Hajo Adam)、卡麦隆.安德森、艾文.艾普费班穆、丹尼尔.艾姆斯、亚利亚.克兰姆(Alia Crum)、帝娜.迪克曼(Tina Diekmann)、奈特.法斯特(Nate Fast)、尼尔.哈列维(Nir Halevy)、哈尔.赫许费德(Hal Hershfield)、雅考伯.赫许(Jacob Hirsh)、艾娜.印森(Ena Insei)、席娜.艾言格、索妮亚.甘(Sonia Kang)、亚伦.凯、盖文.基尔杜夫、布兰登.金恩(Brayden King)、劳拉.克瑞(Laura Kray)、柯谢金、约里斯.拉默斯、乔佛瑞.李奥纳德里、乔.马基、贝诺.莫宁(Benoit Monin)、威尔.马杜思、玛丽亚.梅森、麦可.莫里斯(Michael Morris)、汤玛士.穆斯魏勒、罗兰.诺葛伦(Loran Nordgren)、威利.奥卡丘(Willie Ocasio)、杰拉朵.欧库森(Gerardo Okhuysen)、卡西.菲利浦斯(Kathy Phillips)、理查德.罗内(Richard Ronay)、德瑞克.洛克、盖李.什坦伯格(Garriy Shteynberg)、潘.史密斯(Pam Smith)、哈瑞斯.索达克(Harris Sondak)、罗德瑞克.史瓦伯、伊泰.史坦(Ithai Stern)、布莱恩.乌齐(Brian Uzzi)、亚当.伟滋(Adam Waytz),以及朱蒂斯.怀特(Judith White)。
我很幸运能合作的学生包括:艾瑞克.安尼屈、吉茵.高(Jiyin Cao)、艾希利.卡特(Ashli Carter)、艾琳.周(Eileen Chou)、戴维.杜伯斯(David Dubois)、布莱恩.古尼亚(Brian Gunia)、艾瑞卡.豪尔、丹尼斯.许(Dennis Hsu)、莉.黄(Li Huang)、桑尼.金(Sunny Kim)、姬莲.古、艾丽斯.李、凯蒂.李简奎斯特、杰克森.卢(Jackson Lu)、布莱恩.卢卡斯(Brian Lucas)、艾丝利.马丁(Ashley Martin)、瑞秋.卢坦(Rachel Ruttan)、尼罗.席瓦森(Niro Sivanathan)、安迪.托德、珍妮弗.惠特森、辛西亚.王(Cynthia Wang)、安迪.叶(Andy Yap)、承柏.锺(Chenbo Zhong)。
我也要感谢莫里斯。我们踏上这趟旅程时,我原本还以为自己文笔够好,但是从以前到现在,莫里斯才是优秀的那个人。不过,我没把莫里斯看成写作上的对手,而是把他当成模范,我想象他那样轻轻松松就写下精准文字,他是写作旅程中的完美同伴。
莫里斯的话:
许多人启发了我对本书的思考。我要感谢我的导师、同事与朋友,包括克里希南.阿南德(Krishnan Anand)、丹.艾利里(Dan Ariely)、麦克斯.贝滋曼(Max Bazerman)、布拉德.贝特里(Brad Bitterly)、艾莉森.布鲁克斯、戴利安.肯(Daylian Cain)、科林.卡麦瑞(Colin Camerer)、珍妮弗.杜恩(Jennifer Dunn)、法兰西丝卡.吉诺(Francesca Gino)、麦可.哈森汉(Michael Haselhuhn)、奇普.希思(Chip Heath)、杰克.赫胥黎(Jack Hershey)、杰西卡.肯尼迪(Jessica Kennedy)、布鲁斯.寇斯曼(Bruce Kothmann)、霍华.库伦瑟(Howard Kunreuther)、埃玛.李文、罗伊.鲁维齐(Roy Lewicki)、罗伯特.罗特(Robert Lount)、凯德.马西(Cade Massey)、彼得.麦克罗(Peter McGraw)、凯瑟琳.麦克曼(Katherine Milkman)、朱莉亚.明森、席孟.莫伦(Simone Moran)、凯斯.莫尼汉、迈克.诺顿、莉萨.欧登内滋(Lisa Ordonez)、葛兰罕.欧文顿(Graham Overton)、戴文.波普、托德.罗杰斯(Todd Rodgers)、拿欧米.罗曼(Naomi Rothman)、妮可.鲁迪(Nicole Ruedy)、乔.西蒙斯(Joe Simmons)、尤里.西蒙逊、克里斯廷.史密斯——克罗威(Kristin Smith-Crowe)、史蒂夫.乌连(Steve Ulene)、丹妮尔.华伦(Danielle Warren)、山姆.沃吉尼罗尔、杰若米.叶(Jeremy Yip)。
我也要感谢女儿艾维塔、丹妮尔、林赛、塔莎,以及我世界的中心:我的太太米歇尔。她们体谅我放假、周末、深夜都得埋首于笔电,让我明白友谊与平衡的意义,并且鼓励我完成本书!
最后我要感谢亚当。几年前我在研讨会上认识亚当,我告诉他自己想写一本书,他听完我的计划后,告诉我别写那本书,建议两人一起合作,两人一起写比较好。就这样,我们踏上成为朋友与敌人的旅程,一路上我从他身上学到太多,最后的成果和我几年前想写的书完全不一样,正如亚当所想,合作的结果精彩太多!
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