The hand at his cheek stayed surprisingly gentle. Hakkai had expected it to come flying down and pound him into the floor, but it didn't. It cradled his face, though in its stiffness he could sense Kenren's reluctance. "Kenren I-" he spoke for Tenpou, not for himself. "There's no one else." but when he had uttered those last words, he realized how empty they sounded. Something not even Goku would believe. Kenren must have thought it a blatant lie.
"I don't care, *marshal*." the man's voice had grown dispassionate though their faces were only mere centimeters apart. Hakkai flinched at the scorn imbued with the mention of Tenpou's title.
Then lips descended on his own in a soft kiss like the one from this morning. Softer even. But bitter. "I'll request that Goujin reassign me in the morning. I'll be out of your hair from now on." Kenren's mouth hovered over his own, their breaths mingling as he received one bitter kiss after another.
"But Tenpou...mess with me or my soldiers again and I'll make you know what hell feels like."
Cho Gonou smiled cruelly up at him, piqued by the mention of absolute misery. "I already do."
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door, breaking both of them from their spell of hatred. For an eternity, neither moved. They stared at each other in disbelief- at the words they had exchanged, the threats...
Kenren pushed himself off the floor and quickly snatched up the cigarette he had dropped before it burned the entire place down. Not that he cared, of course. Hakkai took advantage of the disruption and tried not to race to the door. Upon opening it, he was met by an impassive face. /God, doesn't anybody smile in heaven?/
"I was sent by Goujin to convey a message."
It took Hakkai's muddled brain a good minute to register the sight before him. Heaven knows he'd seen this man enough.
"Marshal?" Shien prompted as he scrutinized Tenpou's astounded expression.
"Ah, yes." Hakkai apologized sheepishly. "Forgive me, Shien. What is it that were you sent to tell me?"
"Kenren Taishou's missing troops have returned. They were caught in a storm and had lost their way on earth. With all the turbulence, they say, access to the gate back to heaven was near impossible. They had to wait it out." the man reported verbatim from the written paper in his hand which he then gave to Hakkai.
"I see. Thank you."
"They will be marching through the streets as soon as they enter the holy city."
At the mention of his troop, Kenren jumped and made his way to the door. "See, Marshal?" he said, brushing roughly against Hakkai's shoulder as he walked out. "This bastard general can sure train his soldiers, even when he had to keep you in check too."
The meaning wasn't lost to Hakkai, nor to the other man who stood by him. They watched as Kenren stalked away, but before he was out of earshot, he heard, "A man's power is only as good as the freedom given to him by his superior."
But it wasn't Hakkai speaking.
The general balked and turned around quickly enough to glare daggers in Shien's direction before shrugging and rounding the corner.
"Oh my, now you've made him angrier." Hakkai commented as he held the door frame in order to regain his composure.
"No reason to pamper unjustified pride. I stand by that, marshal...Are you ill?"
"No. Just..."
"Angry."
"Perhaps."
"Too angry to see the parade?" Shien inquired, his voice level.
"No."
"Then let me accompany you."
"Please."
Chapter 6: Then you get desperate
The sound of breaking glass caught Goku's attention as he was walking through the hall on his way towards the kitchen. They had been pent up in the lodge all day and now the sun was setting behind the mountains. It was pretty and he stayed at the window looking outside for hours while Sanzo smoked and read the paper, grateful that he was being quiet for once. There was no better time when the sun was so alive. "Right before it dies out, saru? You make me sick." Well, a Sanzo comment was a Sanzo comment. At least he talked.
Gojyo spent most of the time flirting with the tavern waitress and drinking. Typical. But Hakkai...Hakkai didn't seem to want to talk to anybody. He apologized for not being able to cook for them. Too tired, Hakkai said. And that was that. Sanzo wouldn't allow anybody to pester the man about food. No question. No answer either. "Just leave him alone." the priest snapped earlier. "You're finally getting to him. It was inevitable." Goku didn't believe him though. Hakkai always had time for him. Hakkai never got mad with him. Hakkai had the patience of a saint.
Now Hakkai was acting like a ghost. It worried him tremendously. He crept to the room the healer and Sanzo shared- not even bothering to wonder why the monk refused to go in. And why he preferred Goku's company that day instead of Hakkai's. It just wasn't done. More likely that the stars would shift their positions and there would be a completely new sky to look up at. It just wasn't *natural.*
Goku found the door ajar and peeked in.
"I'm not human." he heard Hakkai mutter miserably. "I'm a goddam youkai!" His hands went to the cuffs at his ears and upon touching them, he drew his hand back as if he were burned.
"Um...Hakkai?"
At the sound of Goku's voice, the man in question whipped around like a thief caught red handed in the middle of a heist. "Goku!" His eyes widened. There was no concealing the broken mirror at his feet where a random ball of ki had hit. He was just looking at himself...and then it just...it just flew out of his hand, shattering everything.
Bad enough to think he was human. Condemnation to know that he was a youkai. Nataku killed people like him. A better man. Right. With a youkai in heaven, all was sure to go to hell. He was sure of it.
"You're hand's bleeding!"
"What? Oh." Tenpou looked absently down. The boy was right. It was stained red. When he looked up again, Goku was digging through Hakkai's luggage and after a moment produced a first aid kit. "Sit down." Tenpou dumbly obeyed and fell into a stiff armchair in the corner of the room.
Sitting at his feet, Goku got a basin filled with water and began to wash the superficial wound that stretched across Tenpou's palm.
"Thank you."
"No problem." the boy said. "Does it hurt?"
"Not anymore. Who taught you to dress wounds?"
Goku looked up with concern. "You did Hakkai."
"Yes. So I did." Bad recovery. Note to self: learn how to act. "And what I good job on my part, eh?" he laughed listlessly, hoping the other wouldn't notice.
"Of course! You're the sensei around here when it comes to practical stuff." continued Goku as he pulled out a tube of ointment, read it, and after confirming it was the correct one, applied it to the now clean surface of skin. Sanzo was there for anything cynically philosophical.
A sad smile suddenly tugged at the corners of Tenpou's mouth. It made Goku uneasy because it was an expression Hakkai rarely wore...or maybe wore often but never showed anybody else. It fell on his face whenever it rained. Whenever he thought of that dead lady.
"Tell me, Goku." Tenpou started. "Who taught you how to read? It wasn't Sanzo, was it?"
A shake of the head.
"Really? But I thought there were no other teachers before Sanzo. Before me."
A shrug. "I just knew." It was simple childlike acceptance. Why do you breathe? I just do. What do you see? I opened my eyes. Why do you speak? When I open my mouth, sound comes out.
"Favorite story?"
"Must've had something to do with food."
"Of course..."
He fell silent and hesitated, opening his mouth to say something that didn't want to come out. Finally, he forced it to, as much as it made him feel like the greatest fool in the universe. Hell, maybe he was.
"Two favors Goku. Can you do that for me?" Tenpou asked hopefully.
"Sure. What's the first?" Wide eyes regarded him quizzically and Tenpou swallowed hard. Fuck it, I'm pitiful.
"Repeat after me."
"Okay."
"Ten-" Like teaching the alphabet...
"Ten-" Goku repeated.
"-chan."
"-chan. Ten-chan? Ten-chan. Ten-chan!" God, it felt good to hear that voice say that name. It hasn't even been that long, but still...it put his heart more at ease. He bid his eyes closed and pictured a smaller boy with longer hair. Clanking chains with that same diadem. "Who's that? Someone you know, Hakkai?" Goku then went to the bandages, wrapping it around Tenpou's hand once. Twice.
He choked. "Not really. He hides himself in a library all the time. I never did have the time to get to know him well."
"It's not good to lock yourself up all the time. Not healthy. I tell Sanzo that. Tell him that too."
/Dammit Tenpou, don't you know it ain't good for you to stay cooped up in here all the time? Look, the kid's just begging for attention...
Ten-chan! Let's go on a picnic, kay? You, me, Ken-niichan and Konzen. Okay Ten-chan? It's nice outside and the books can't make jokes and laugh and talk to you.
He's got a point, Tenpou./
"It's as good as told, Goku. Thank you." Tenpou examined his newly bandaged hand. At least he didn't have to look at that dreadfully short lifeline half as much anymore.
"Second?"
"What?"
"Second favor, Hakkai." Goku pushed on as he carelessly stuffed the supplies back into the first aid kid and tossed it over to one side of the room for future use. A bit pessimistic for someone like Goku, Tenpou thought, maybe I'm really scaring the hell out of him.
Second favor most important. For the ruse and for his dignity. "Please don't tell the others about what I did. Something...something's happened to me and I can't get good control over my...powers. I'll be fine within a week's time. I promise, if you promise me that you won't tell." But Goku didn't look convinced. /Kenren's right. I'm such a bad liar./
"Promise." the boy chirped cheerfully, alleviated by the fact that Hakkai would get better. "It was kinda clutzy of me to run into the mirror like that. Seven years bad luck, right?"
Tenpou ruffled Goku's hair. "Seven years isn't very long. Don't worry about it."
Really, I shouldn't force you to keep my secrets all the time...
****
"What do you mean *gone*?" Gojyo roared as he grabbed the front of Sanzo's robe, only to have his hand violently slapped away.
"Gone to the lake, no doubt to investigate those rumors of celestial warriors." replied the monk, lighting himself a new cigarette and settling back into his chair by the windowsill, newspaper in hand. "Left an hour ago."
"And you just let him? What kind of friend are you, monk?"
"Don't talk to me about friendship." Sanzo growled. "If he needs to make peace with the gods, let him."
There was no denying that the storm outside was getting worse, but what bothered Gojyo the most was the fact that Hakkai went off alone just like he did three years ago. His mind did a dreadful replay. "And if he dies along the way?"
A cynical scowl graced the fine contours of the other's face as he flipped the page. "A journey in the name of the gods is never a journey lost." he said tritely. "Besides, no one's tying him down with this journey. He always has the choice to leave."
"Fuck you. He's coming back."
"Doglike faith you have for your master."
Gojyo's temper erupted and he clenched his fist, his knuckles going white. "Same goes for you, bastard!" He threw a punch directed right at the blonde's face, but it was blocked by Sanzo's left hand, the right one with the gun aimed point blank at Gojyo's forehead.
"Don't tempt me too much, Gojyo. I might just do it."
"Fuck you straight to hell." Gojyo spat out, retracting his fist and spinning around towards the door. "You might not give a damn for your companions, but I do."
"Stop treating him like your little wife. Hakkai can take care of himself."
Gojyo opened the door, only to face a scene of pure white chaos. He blanched, "Ch'. dipshit." then stepped through into the storm, closing the door behind him.
****
Tenpou pulled the cloak tighter around his body as he trudged wearily through the snow. The winds were picking up and clouds were moving in, blocking the sun's light. His skin screamed for warmth, and perhaps he would have collapsed by now if it weren't for Tenpou's insistent mind willing this new body to go on beyond its limits. Through the growing storm that seemed to take on a life of its own. Like destiny working against him. Through the snow that stuck to his boots. Through screeching winds that seemed to beat down upon him like invisible harpies.
One foot in front of the other. One. Two. One. Two. In time with the celestial army's drum beat. One. Two. As if he were going to war. Boom. Boom. It never ceased, an echo of the soldier's heart as he is thrown into the heat of battle. One. Two. And as long as it rung clear in the distance, he could be sure that others were fighting right next to him, that he wasn't alone. One. Two. The lake was getting nearer, he could sense it.
Then the sound of drums wasn't only in his mind. He could actually hear it faintly over the howling winds. Boom. Boom. Slow this time, like a death march. And so he journeyed, as if to his death because it was this beat of heaven which he followed so doggedly through the squall. Tenpou rounded the hill and there it was- a lake within a crater. Frozen yet solitary. Nobody was there, but something about the lake beckoned to him. Holy water.
With one last burst of energy, Tenpou sprinted towards it and fell at its icy shore. The winds seemed to blow less harshly here as if the powers of the earth had no place. On his knees and with shaking hands, he reached out and touched the glassy surface. It stung, but he refused to break contact. Leaning forward and cleaning the scattered snowflakes off the ice, the marshal felt as if his heart stopped beating. Staring back was his reflection. Tenpou Gensui's reflection. His real reflection.
