"You understand now?"
The healer gulped, his hands growing instantly cold. "So you are saying that you can be talking to me...and think it is me, but perhaps I am really not here, but down there. Is that it?"
"But of course I am not accusing you-"
"Of course not."
Silence descended upon the two of them, interrupted momentarily by a long winded, "Ten-chaaaaaaaan!" and a brown blur racing towards them. Goku leaped up and clung to Hakkai's neck.
"Goku." Like a monkey, the boy was hanging off him playfully. "You shouldn't interrupt adults while they're talking." Immense brown orbs looked up at him, smiling widely.
"Gomen, Ten-chan! But Konzen's super busy doing paperstuff and got mad at me and Ken-niichan's sad so I thought I could get you to come cheer him up because I couldn't and if I couldn't I thought you could because you can. On yeah, and Konzen taught me how to count! You want to hear? One...two...three...four...five...six...seven...eight...nine... ten..."
"Not now, Goku. Later perhaps." With considerable difficulty, Hakkai managed to unwrap the little Goku's iron grip around his neck and placed him gently down on the ground. "Fifteen...sixteen...seventeen..." All the while, Shien said nothing, scanning the second story windows and quickly pulling the three of them further into the shadows as the army passed their section of the street.
Goku sniffed the air, then scrunched up his nose. "Ack." he pouted while pointing to the file of marching kami.
"Twenty...twenty-one...twenty-two..."
Then it dawned on him. That feeling returned, unfamiliar to this body, but to his mind the memory of it all was only too acute. The only thing as painful as rain was youkai...
The boy hid behind Hakkai's coat with childish suspicion. "They smell...like blood."
"I requested that they not be allowed to return." Shien confessed quietly. "But it seems that it never reached the higher ups."
Goku's oblivious-to-the-world counting resumed. "Twenty-five, twenty-six..."
Youkai, Hakkai thought frenetically, youkai in heaven. Youkai in the bodies of kami. Just as he was a youkai, in the body of a kami. Hell in heaven.
"Twenty-seven, twenty eight..."
There was no question of who, but what- and he could divine that as well. Thirty youkai in the bodies of thirty, now-dead heavenly soldiers...they didn't march, they stalked, their hunger barely suppressed. They glared beneath those glazed eyes, thirty pairs of them, thirsted, licked their lips, thirty tongues grazing over sharp teeth.
"They'll spill blood here..." Hakkai choked out as he looked to Shien who had returned to close his eyes.
"And I can only think of two men who have the influence to stand in their way." The man with the bandaged arms turned started to walk in the direction opposite of the Holy City's main street. "I am afraid that with my position in Nataku-sama's army, I can do no more for you. See to your foolish general," He stopped in thought, as if wondering whether to continue with what he was about to say. "Take back his heart before the archer up there pins it to his body."
"Twenty-nine! Aren't you proud of me Ten-chan? I counted all the soldiers. Twenty-nine!"
*****
Heaven seemed like a better place, now that he was tipsy. It gave him a lighter heart- in a way as light as it was before he met Tenpou who was (besides physically satisfying) like a foggy day in the middle of an Under Heaven summer...and alcohol made him poetic... heavy, hot, blinding, fatalistic. Fatalistic and he didn't care either. Learned to live with it, fatalistic, hot, naked, blinding, just close your eyes and let...and alcohol made him forgetful of the present, and reminiscent so that the Now suddenly stuck out like a sore thumb. It was over. Fuck you, Tenpou; you manipulative bastard. I've enough, drop dead at my feet and I wouldn't have the pity to look down. Likewise, I'd bet...
*****
Litouten had grown unusually quiet and Nataku pretended not to notice, dutifully watching the parade like a dutiful son. Litouten was smirking like a cat who had just swallowed a canary and Nataku just sat there, bored, and dutifully watching the parade like a dutiful, bored son- pretending not to notice the fact that they were one man short. And the place was festive. And the cherry blossoms flew. And the flute sounds danced in the dead wind as the heavy drums beat a dead sound to a happy death march. And in a window across the happy dancing death marching parade, Nataku didn't pretend not to see the glint of metal that reflected off a dead sun. The pointy tip of an arrow pretending not to be there.
*****
And they say that gods can't die.
Hakkai ran.
But surely, gods can bleed.
*****
Where the hell is he? Konzen stalked through the crowd, up and down the street. "Goku!" This day, out of all days, boring day in and boring day out...must be the worst of them all. He looked around him to make sure nobody paid attention, then spat indignantly in a convenient place where people would most likely not walk.
Disgusting, putrid water, not water, the god thought to himself, gritting his teeth and fighting the urge to spit again. It was fine fifteen minutes ago, cool and caressing in his throat when he was still at his desk. Then came an arctic cold chill that threw all the papers on his desk into disarray. He sipped again and it was salty-sour, looked into the cup and it was a crimson red.
"Goku!" It didn't work. Where was he?
Something wasn't right. And if something wasn't right...
Then perhaps, "Tenpou!"
As if he hadn't practiced futility enough. So then there was...but he wouldn't, just wouldn't, by the grace of all things right, he wasn't going to say...
"Kenren-taishou!" Konzen snapped is head up. It was Nataku. Suddenly a wail arose in the crowd. And then another, and another. And then there was frenetic chaos to the tune of a death march. The blonde fought his way against the tide of rushing gods; through confetti and streamers.
"Somebody find a healer!" someone shouted...roared. Goujin was shouting orders. "Surround the premises and find out where this came from!" Konzen followed the voice then pushed through a final ring of people.
He felt the taste of blood in his mouth again which was even stronger this time now that he was looking at it spewing from a real person. Kenren knelt, gaping, his mouth dropping into a horrific 'o'. He was clutching Tenpou's arms, holding him dumbly as he stared at the arrow that had impaled the marshal of the Western army, which, had it not met the flesh of another being, would have taken him straight through the chest.
But Hakkai still smiled. It made the others nervous and they backed away from the pair. He opened his mouth to speak, seemingly unaware of the blood that trickled down his lips.
"Kanzeon...Kanzeon...does this qualify...as..." he coughed; caughed and smiled even as Kenren seemed to be on the verge of...the world blurred. "...as anything too stupid?"
******
Chapter 8: Crossed Nights
The ground sunk beneath him, soft, cold, and invitingly supple. He was hot. But that heat, in turn was driven away from something rough, cold, and gentle above him and all around. A cold cloth, driven by a cold hand worked his face; on his forehead, down his nose, above his eyelids, beneath his chin, under his lips. Hakkai's mind and closed eyes traced the path dumbly as he felt his skin liberated from suffocation little by little. The healer finally got it into his head to speak and even he himself was surprised at the astounding clarity with which he was thinking.
"I do recall you saying that you would 'do no more for me.' A change of heart?"
The hand stopped, if not in surprise, then in amusement, and lifted. Hakkai could hear the water stream down as the cloth was soaked and wrung, the sound echoing off the walls of the bedroom. The freshness was pressed again to his face, traveling down to his neck.
"I took pity on your stupidity." Shien replied, his words as swift and gliding as a paper cut. Hakkai opened his eyes and found that the world had transformed into a dim watercolor; which was made clear again once the other man took the time to replace Tenpou's glasses. "You seem to take your immortality too lightly, allowing your trite display of affection to be transformed into a political statement." he paused thoughtfully. "A dangerous man who does not fear death is a very strong threat."
"I fear death."
"Then you must act like it." the other nearly snapped. There was something behind what Tenpou did that unnerved him and stuck something hollow in the depths of his bones. Unthinking devotion. How he had always struggled to understand why it had more strength behind it than a thousand of Heaven's armies. Why not even a thousand of Heaven's armies could free a mere boy from his imposed and bloody adulthood while a simple paper crane had accomplished the task in a heartbeat. "You truly don't know how much power you wield."
Hakkai kept his eyes fixed to the ceiling, so that Shien was only a voice. The pain in his chest throbbed gently and he had enough sense not to move the injury. It would have killed him, he knew that, but somehow he felt that Mercy was smiling upon him once again. Shien was a voice, nothing else, a comforting un-presence as if he were merely a specter floating beside him- and the gods knew that his ghost has haunted him before.
"Will you not get in trouble for being here?" he asked aimlessly. His body was craving nicotine, but Hakkai sternly told it to shut up.
Shien shook his head slowly and shifted himself slightly, calling to notice that he was now sitting on the bed- or probably had been there the entire time only Hakkai failed to pay attention. "Apparently there is a rumor that I am your new lover, Marshal. Nobody finds it unusual that I have headed towards your quarters. How do you feel?"
"Very human."
"How belittling," the other chided blandly, "but perhaps that is what loss of blood does to one. In all honesty, I never expected you to go that far."
Where's Kenren, he wondered though he didn't bother to voice it. "How far is far?"
"Resorting to human carelessness." the reply was automatic and well programmed- courtesy of Heaven's grooming.
"Who's careless?"
"Risking your life for a subordinate...anyone, it reveals a dependence kami should be above feeling. To debase yourself in this manner..." He was just a voice.
"It makes me feel like myself. Perhaps debased. My face rubbed in the dirt, perhaps. Perhaps with the terror of feeling mortal." A quirk of a smile lifted the sides of his lips. Shien could feel it. "I like it."
"You're nothing more than a human in a god's body." Nataku's soldier replied soberly, without the full knowledge of his words, before standing up and taking a seat by the closed window. He opened it a crack, letting the cool night air waif inside. It ruffled the blankets and the papers of nearby books Hakkai was sure he had shelved earlier that day. Shien must have been here for a while.
"Oh, I think my case is worse than that, but I'm not very interested in talking about myself at the moment. The soldiers..."
Shien was looking out into the distance now. "In the barracks, probably doing as they please. Playing with women most likely. Very animalistic, revolting. I hesitate to speak openly in the court about this...situation. It is not my place."
"This can't end well." Hakkai said.
"It is not my place to think of how it will all end. I take orders from Nataku-sama who, I fear, might not be capable of handling the situation. The farthest I go is informing you."
"So that I can end it."
"If you can."
This was conspiracy, if nothing else. And if nothing else, he was absolutely the wrong person for the job. This was Tenpou's field entirely, a man a trillion years wiser than Hakkai was. Infinitely more skilled in underhanded diplomacy, and an infinite other things that would make way for an infinite number of reasons why the healer should give a flat out: No, do your own dirty work. It was a typically Sanzo-esque reaction, yes, but the priest was, if nothing else...extremely practical and wise in an alcoholic, chain-smoking, and sullen sort of way.
But the thought of Sanzo triggered other things in Hakkai's mind. Made him think of rainy nights when the blonde would sit by the window staring, just like Shien was doing now, waiting for nothing, yet expecting everything to implode at any moment because that was just how he felt because the rain did that and the rain did many things and the rain made many things become remembered even though they shouldn't be remembered. And he remembered how hard it rained that night and how it pained him so much to hear it thundering in his ears like some omnipotent doom that would first seduce him then burn him to ash. Kanan was ash. Burn, burned and then he noticed that it never seemed that heaven would ever ever ever have rain because heaven is perfect and heaven is nice, and heaven is peaceful and heaven is completely oblivious of anything that the humans would suffer down below. Apathetic heaven. Sweet and charming...apathetic...and just for show. Slutty heaven. You deserve your share of heat...
He stopped himself, jerked himself from that train of thought as if he were forcing himself out of an impending nightmare before sleep had completely taken over and he would be rendered helpless. "That's not me either." Hakkai whispered, bringing his hand to touch the uncuffed ear. He suddenly felt like a wolf in sheep's clothing. Hungry like the rest of them. "But still...how can you get rid of the rotten pillars of a pavilion without sending the entire structure crashing down?"
"We'll salvage what we can. Heaven tends to survive that way." Shien sounded nonchalant, as if by giving Hakkai the responsibility, the sacrilege was off his chest. "Heaven itself is incidental. Break it right through the middle. I hold no concern for it for I only serve Nataku-sama and he is not of it."
And it reminded Hakkai of his university days...
The noble human being does not sin, the profound poet wants to tell us: though every law, every natural order, even the moral world may perish through his actions, his actions also produce a higher magical circle of effects which found a new world on the ruins of the old one that has been overthrown.
