asserted; 'and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself. Mr.
Rochester, you must neither expect nor exact anything celestial of me-
for you will not get it, any more than I shall get it of you: which
I do not at all anticipate.'
'What do you anticipate of me?'
'For a little while you will perhaps be as you are now,- a very
little while; and then you will turn cool; and then you will be
capricious; and then you will be stern, and I shall have much ado to
please you: but when you get well used to me, you will perhaps like me
again,- like me, I say, not love me. I suppose your love will
effervesce in six months, or less. I have observed in books written by
men, that period assigned as the farthest to which a husband's
ardour extends. Yet, after all, as a friend and companion, I hope
never to become quite distasteful to my dear master.'
'Distasteful! and like you again! I think I shall like you again,
and yet again: and I will make you confess I do not only like, but
love you- with truth, fervour, constancy.'
'Yet are you not capricious, sir?'
'To women who please me only by their faces, I am the very devil
when I find out they have neither souls nor hearts- when they open
to me a perspective of flatness, triviality, and perhaps imbecility,
coarseness, and ill-temper: but to the clear eye and eloquent
tongue, to the soul made of fire, and the character that bends but
does not break- at once supple and stable, tractable and consistent- I
am ever tender and true.'
'Had you ever experience of such a character, sir? Did you ever
love such an one?'
'I love it now.'
'But before me: if I, indeed, in any respect come up to your
difficult standard?'
'I never met your likeness. Jane, you please me, and you master me-
you seem to submit, and I like the sense of pliancy you impart; and
while I am twining the soft, silken skein round my finger, it sends
a thrill up my arm to my heart. I am influenced- conquered; and the
influence is sweeter than I can express; and the conquest I undergo
has a witchery beyond any triumph I can win. Why do you smile, Jane?
What does that inexplicable, that uncanny turn of countenance mean?'
'I was thinking, sir (you will excuse the idea; it was
involuntary), I was thinking of Hercules and Samson with their
charmers-'
'You were, you little elfish-'
'Hush, sir! You don't talk very wisely just now; any more than
those gentlemen acted very wisely. However, had they been married,
they would no doubt by their severity as husbands have made up for
their softness as suitors; and so will you, I fear. I wonder how you
will answer me a year hence, should I ask a favour it does not suit
your convenience or pleasure to grant.'
'Ask me something now, Janet- the least thing: I desire to be
entreated-'
'Indeed I will sir; I have my petition all ready.'
'Speak! But if you look up and smile with that countenance, I shall
swear concession before I know to what, and that will make a fool of
me.'
'Not at all, sir; I ask only this: don't send for the jewels, and
don't crown me with roses: you might as well put a border of gold lace
round that plain pocket-handkerchief you have there.'
'I might as well "gild refined gold." I know it: your request is
granted then- for the time. I will remand the order I despatched to my
banker. But you have not yet asked for anything; you have prayed a
gift to be withdrawn: try again.'
'Well, then, sir, have the goodness to gratify my curiosity,
which is much piqued on one point.'
He looked disturbed. 'What? what?' he said hastily. 'Curiosity is a
dangerous petition: it is well I have not taken a vow to accord
every request-'
'But there can be no danger in complying with this, sir.'
'Utter it, Jane: but I wish that instead of a mere inquiry into,
perhaps, a secret, it was a wish for half my estate.'
'Now, King Ahasuerus! What do I want with half your estate? Do
you think I am a Jew-usurer, seeking good investment in land? I
would much rather have all your confidence. You will not exclude me
from your confidence if you admit me to your heart?'
'You are welcome to all my confidence that is worth having, Jane;
but for God's sake, don't desire a useless burden! Don't long for
poison- don't turn out a downright Eve on my hands!'
'Why not, sir? You have just been telling me how much you liked
to be conquered, and how pleasant over-persuasion is to you. Don't you
think I had better take advantage of the confession, and begin and
coax and entreat- even cry and be sulky if necessary- for the sake
of a mere essay of my power?'
'I dare you to any such experiment. Encroach, presume, and the game
is up.'
'Is it, sir? You soon give in. How stern you look now! Your
eyebrows have become as thick as my finger, and your forehead
resembles what, in some very astonishing poetry, I once saw styled, "a
blue-piled thunderloft." That will be your married look, sir, I
suppose?'
'If that will be your married look, I, as a Christian, will soon
give up the notion of consorting with a mere sprite or salamander. But
what had you to ask, thing,- out with it?'
'There, you are less than civil now; and I like rudeness a great
deal better than flattery. I had rather be a thing than an angel. This
is what I have to ask,- Why did you take such pains to make me believe
you wished to marry Miss Ingram?'
'Is that all? Thank God it is no worse!' And now he unknit his
black brows; looked down, smiling at me, and stroked my hair, as if
well pleased at seeing a danger averted. 'I think I may confess,' he
continued, 'even although I should make you a little indignant,
Jane- and I have seen what a fire-spirit you can be when you are
indignant. You glowed in the cool moonlight last night, when you
mutinied against fate, and claimed your rank as my equal. Janet, by
the bye, it was you who made me the offer.'
'Of course I did. But to the point if you please, sir- Miss
Ingram?'
'Well, I feigned courtship of Miss Ingram, because I wished to
render you as madly in love with me as I was with you; and I knew
jealousy would be the best ally I could call in for the furtherance of
that end.'
'Excellent! Now you are small- not one whit bigger than the end
of my little finger. It was a burning shame and a scandalous
disgrace to act in that way. Did you think nothing of Miss Ingram's
feelings, sir?'
'Her feelings are concentrated in one- pride; and that needs
humbling. Were you jealous, Jane?'
'Never mind, Mr. Rochester: it is in no way interesting to you to
know that. Answer me truly once more. Do you think Miss Ingram will
not suffer from your dishonest coquetry? Won't she feel forsaken and
deserted?'
'Impossible!- when I told you how she, on the contrary, deserted
me: the idea of my insolvency cooled, or rather extinguished, her
flame in a moment.'
'You have a curious, designing mind, Mr. Rochester. I am afraid
your principles on some points are eccentric.'
'My principles were never trained, Jane: they may have grown a
little awry for want of attention.'
'Once again, seriously; may I enjoy the great good that has been
vouchsafed to me, without fearing that any one else is suffering the
bitter pain I myself felt a while ago?'
'That you may, my good little girl: there is not another being in
the world has the same pure love for me as yourself- for I lay that
pleasant unction to my soul, Jane, a belief in your affection.'
I turned my lips to the hand that lay on my shoulder. I loved him
very much- more than I could trust myself to say- more than words
had power to express.
'Ask something more,' he said presently; 'it is my delight to be
entreated, and to yield.'
I was again ready with my request. 'Communicate your intentions
to Mrs. Fairfax, sir: she saw me with you last night in the hall,
and she was shocked. Give her some explanation before I see her again.
It pains me to be misjudged by so good a woman.'
'Go to your room, and put on your bonnet,' he replied. 'I mean
you to accompany me to Millcote this morning; and while you prepare
for the drive, I will enlighten the old lady's understanding. Did
she think, Janet, you had given the world for love, and considered
it well lost?'
'I believe she thought I had forgotten my station, and yours, sir.'
'Station! station!- your station is in my heart, and on the necks
of those who would insult you, now or hereafter.- Go.'
I was soon dressed; and when I heard Mr. Rochester quit Mrs.
Fairfax's parlour, I hurried down to it. The old lady had been reading
her morning portion of Scripture- the Lesson for the day; her Bible
lay open before her, and her spectacles were upon it. Her
occupation, suspended by Mr. Rochester's announcement, seemed now
forgotten: her eyes, fixed on the blank wall opposite, expressed the
surprise of a quiet mind stirred by unwonted tidings. Seeing me, she
roused herself: she made a sort of effort to smile, and framed a few
words of congratulation; but the smile expired, and the sentence was
abandoned unfinished. She put up her spectacles, shut the Bible, and
pushed her chair back from the table.
'I feel so astonished,' she began, 'I hardly know what to say to
you, Miss Eyre. I have surely not been dreaming, have I? Sometimes I
half fall asleep when I am sitting alone and fancy things that have
never happened. It has seemed to me more than once when I have been in
a doze, that my dear husband, who died fifteen years since, has come
in and sat down beside me; and that I have even heard him call me by
my name, Alice, as he used to do. Now, can you tell me whether it is
actually true that Mr. Rochester has asked you to marry him? Don't
laugh at me. But I really thought he came in here five minutes ago,
and said that in a month you would be his wife.'
'He has said the same thing to me,' I replied.
'He has! Do you believe him? Have you accepted him?'
'Yes.'
She looked at me bewildered.
'I could never have thought it. He is a proud man: all the
Rochesters were proud: and his father, at least, liked money. He, too,
has always been called careful. He means to marry you?'
'He tells me so.'
She surveyed my whole person: in her eyes I read that they had
there found no charm powerful enough to solve the enigma.
'It passes me!' she continued; 'but no doubt it is true since you
say so. How it will answer, I cannot tell: I really don't know.
Equality of position and fortune is often advisable in such cases; and
there are twenty years of difference in your ages. He might almost
be your father.'
'No, indeed, Mrs. Fairfax!' exclaimed I, nettled; 'he is nothing
like my father! No one, who saw us together, would suppose it for an
instant. Mr. Rochester looks as young, and is as young, as some men at
five-and-twenty.'
'Is it really for love he is going to marry you?' she asked.
I was so hurt by her coldness and scepticism, that the tears rose
to my eyes.
'I am sorry to grieve you,' pursued the widow; 'but you are so
young, and so little acquainted with men, I wished to put you on
your guard. It is an old saying that "all is not gold that
glitters"; and in this case I do fear there will be something found to
be different to what either you or I expect.'
'Why?- am I a monster?' I said: 'is it impossible that Mr.
Rochester should have a sincere affection for me?'
'No: you are very well; and much improved of late; and Mr.
Rochester, I daresay, is fond of you. I have always noticed that you
were a sort of pet of his. There are times when, for your sake, I have
been a little uneasy at his marked preference, and have wished to
put you on your guard: but I did not like to suggest even the
possibility of wrong. I knew such an idea would shock, perhaps
offend you; and you were so discreet, and so thoroughly modest and
sensible, I hoped you might be trusted to protect yourself. Last night
I cannot tell you what I suffered when I sought all over the house,
and could find you nowhere, nor the master either; and then, at twelve
o'clock, saw you come in with him.'
'Well, never mind that now,' I interrupted impatiently; 'it is
enough that all was right.'
'I hope all will be right in the end,' she said: 'but believe me,
you cannot be too careful. Try and keep Mr. Rochester at a distance:
distrust yourself as well as him. Gentlemen in his station are not
accustomed to marry their governesses.'
I was growing truly irritated: happily, Adele ran in.
'Let me go,- let me go to Millcote too!' she cried. 'Mr.
Rochester won't: though there is so much room in the new carriage. Beg
him to let me go, mademoiselle.'
'That I will, Adele'; and I hastened away with her, glad to quit my
gloomy monitress. The carriage was ready: they were bringing it
round to the front, and my master was pacing the pavement, Pilot
following him backwards and forwards.
'Adele may accompany us, may she not, sir?'
'I told her no. I'll have no brats!- I'll have only you.'
