cannot tell; but I perceived soon that Mr. Rivers had placed a chair
behind me, and was gently attempting to make me sit down on it. He
also advised me to be composed; I scorned the insinuation of
helplessness and distraction, shook off his hand, and began to walk
about again.
'Write to Diana and Mary to-morrow,' I said, 'and tell them to come
home directly. Diana said they would both consider themselves rich
with a thousand pounds, so with five thousand they will do very well.'
'Tell me where I can get you a glass of water,' said St. John; 'you
must really make an effort to tranquillise your feelings.'
'Nonsense! and what sort of an effect will the bequest have on you?
Will it keep you in England, induce you to marry Miss Oliver, and
settle down like an ordinary mortal?'
'You wander: your head becomes confused. I have been too abrupt
in communicating the news; it has excited you beyond your strength.'
'Mr. Rivers! you quite put me out of patience: I am rational
enough; it is you who misunderstand, or rather who affect to
misunderstand.'
'Perhaps, if you explained yourself a little more fully, I should
comprehend better.'
'Explain! What is there to explain? You cannot fail to see that
twenty thousand pounds, the sum in question, divided equally between
the nephew and three nieces of our uncle, will give five thousand to
each? What I want is, that you should write to your sisters and tell
them of the fortune that has accrued to them.'
'To you, you mean.'
'I have intimated my view of the case: I am incapable of taking any
other. I am not brutally selfish, blindly unjust, or fiendishly
ungrateful. Besides, I am resolved I will have a home and connections.
I like Moor House, and I will live at Moor House; I like Diana and
Mary, and I will attach myself for life to Diana and Mary. It would
please and benefit me to have five thousand pounds; it would torment
and oppress me to have twenty thousand; which, moreover, could never
be mine in justice, though it might in law. I abandon to you, then,
what is absolutely superfluous to me. Let there be no opposition,
and no discussion about it; let us agree amongst each other, and
decide the point at once.'
'This is acting on first impulses; you must take days to consider
such a matter, ere your word can be regarded as valid.'
'Oh! if all you doubt is my sincerity, I am easy: you see the
justice of the case?'
'I do see a certain justice; but it is contrary to all custom.
Besides, the entire fortune is your right: my uncle gained it by his
own efforts; he was free to leave it to whom he would: he left it to
you. After all, justice permits you to keep it: you may, with a
clear conscience, consider it absolutely your own.'
'With me,' said I, 'it is fully as much a matter of feeling as of
conscience: I must indulge my feelings; I so seldom have had an
opportunity of doing so. Were you to argue, object, and annoy me for a
year, I could not forego the delicious pleasure of which I have caught
a glimpse- that of repaying, in part, a mighty obligation, and winning
to myself life-long friends.'
'You think so now,' rejoined St. John, 'because you do not know
what it is to possess, nor consequently to enjoy wealth: you cannot
form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give you;
of the place it would enable you to take in society; of the
prospects it would open to you: you cannot-'
'And you,' I interrupted, 'cannot at all imagine the craving I have
for fraternal and sisterly love. I never had a home, I never had
brothers or sisters; I must and will have them now: you are not
reluctant to admit me and own me, are you?'
'Jane, I will be your brother- my sisters will be your sisters-
without stipulating for this sacrifice of your just rights.'
'Brother? Yes; at the distance of a thousand leagues! Sisters? Yes;
slaving amongst strangers! I, wealthy- gorged with gold I never earned
and do not merit! You, penniless! Famous equality and
fraternisation! Close union! Intimate attachment!'
'But, Jane, your aspirations after family ties and domestic
happiness may be realised otherwise than by the means you contemplate:
you may marry.'
'Nonsense, again! Marry! I don't want to marry, and never shall
marry.'
'That is saying too much: such hazardous affirmations are a proof
of the excitement under which you labour.'
'It is not saying too much: I know what I feel, and how averse
are my inclinations to the bare thought of marriage. No one would take
me for love; and I will not be regarded in the light of a mere money
speculation. And I do not want a stranger- unsympathising, alien,
different from me; I want my kindred: those with whom I have full
fellow-feeling. Say again you will be my brother: when you uttered the
words I was satisfied, happy; repeat them, if you can, repeat them
sincerely.'
'I think I can. I know I have always loved my own sisters; and I
know on what my affection for them is grounded,- respect for their
worth and admiration of their talents. You too have principle and
mind: your tastes and habits resemble Diana's and Mary's; your
presence is always agreeable to me; in your conversation I have
already for some time found a salutary solace. I feel I can easily and
naturally make room in my heart for you, as my third and youngest
sister.'
'Thank you: that contents me for to-night. Now you had better go;
for if you stay longer, you will perhaps irritate me afresh by some
mistrustful scruple.'
'And the school, Miss Eyre? It must now be shut up, I suppose?'
'No. I will retain my post of mistress till you get a substitute.'
He smiled approbation: we shook hands, and he took leave.
I need not narrate in detail the further struggles I had, and
arguments I used, to get matters regarding the legacy settled as I
wished. My task was a very hard one; but, as I was absolutely
resolved- as my cousins saw at length that my mind was really and
immutably fixed on making a just division of the property- as they
must in their own hearts have felt the equity of the intention; and
must, besides, have been innately conscious that in my place they
would have done precisely what I wished to do- they yielded at
length so far as to consent to put the affair to arbitration. The
judges chosen were Mr. Oliver and an able lawyer: both coincided in my
opinion: I carried my point. The instruments of transfer were drawn
out: St. John, Diana, Mary, and I, each became possessed of a
competency.
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CHAPTER XXXIV
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IT was near Christmas by the time all was settled: the season of
general holiday approached. I now closed Morton school, taking care
that the parting should not be barren on my side. Good fortune opens
the hand as well as the heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when
we have largely received, is but to afford a vent to the unusual
ebullition of the sensations. I had long felt with pleasure that
many of my rustic scholars liked me, and when we parted, that
consciousness was confirmed: they manifested their affection plainly
and strongly. Deep was my gratification to find I had really a place
in their unsophisticated hearts: I promised them that never a week
should pass in future that I did not visit them, and give them an
hour's teaching in their school.
Mr. Rivers came up as, having seen the classes, now numbering sixty
girls, file out before me, and locked the door, I stood with the key
in my hand, exchanging a few words of special farewell with some
half-dozen of my best scholars: as decent, respectable, modest, and
well-informed young women as could be found in the ranks of the
British peasantry. And that is saying a great deal; for after all, the
British peasantry are the best taught, best mannered, most
self-respecting of any in Europe: since those days I have seen
paysannes and Bauerinnen; and the best of them seemed to me
ignorant, coarse, and besotted, compared with my Morton girls.
'Do you consider you have got your reward for a season of
exertion?' asked Mr. Rivers, when they were gone. 'Does not the
consciousness of having done some real good in your day and generation
give pleasure?'
'Doubtless.'
'And you have only toiled a few months! Would not a life devoted to
the task of regenerating your race be well spent?'
'Yes,' I said; 'but I could not go on for ever so: I want to
enjoy my own faculties as well as to cultivate those of other
people. I must enjoy them now; don't recall either my mind or body
to the school; I am out of it and disposed for full holiday.'
He looked grave. 'What now? What sudden eagerness is this you
evince? What are you going to do?'
'To be active: as active as I can. And first I must beg you to
set Hannah at liberty, and get somebody else to wait on you.'
'Do you want her?'
'Yes, to go with me to Moor House. Diana and Mary will be at home
in a week, and I want to have everything in order against their
arrival.'
'I understand. I thought you were for flying off on some excursion.
It is better so: Hannah shall go with you.'
'Tell her to be ready by to-morrow then; and here is the schoolroom
key: I will give you the key of my cottage in the morning.'
He took it. 'You give it up very gleefully,' said he; 'I don't
quite understand your light-heartedness, because I cannot tell what
employment you propose to yourself as a substitute for the one you are
relinquishing. What aim, what purpose, what ambition in life have
you now?'
'My first aim will be to clean down (do you comprehend the full
force of the expression?)- to clean down Moor House from chamber to
cellar; my next to rub it up with bees-wax, oil, and an indefinite
number of cloths, till it glitters again; my third, to arrange every
chair, table, bed, carpet, with mathematical precision; afterwards I
shall go near to ruin you in coals and peat to keep up good fires in
every room; and lastly, the two days preceding that on which your
sisters are expected will be devoted by Hannah and me to such a
beating of eggs, sorting of currants, grating of spices, compounding
of Christmas cakes, chopping up of materials for mince-pies, and
solemnising of other culinary rites, as words can convey but an
inadequate notion of to the uninitiated like you. My purpose, in
short, is to have all things in an absolutely perfect state of
readiness for Diana and Mary before next Thursday; and my ambition
is to give them a beau-ideal of a welcome when they come.'
St. John smiled slightly: still he was dissatisfied.
'It is all very well for the present,' said he; 'but seriously, I
trust that when the first flush of vivacity is over, you will look a
little higher than domestic endearments and household joys.'
'I mean, on the contrary, to be busy.'
'Jane, I excuse you for the present: two months' grace I allow
you for the full enjoyment of your new position, and for pleasing
yourself with this late-found charm of relationship; but then, I
hope you will begin to look beyond Moor House and Morton, and sisterly
society, and the selfish calm and sensual comfort of civilised
affluence. I hope your energies will then once more trouble you with
their strength.'
I looked at him with surprise. 'St. John,' I said, 'I think you are
almost wicked to talk so. I am disposed to be as content as a queen,
and you try to stir me up to restlessness! To what end?'
'To the end of turning to profit the talents which God has
committed to your keeping; and of which He will surely one day
demand a strict account. Jane, I shall watch you closely and
anxiously- I warn you of that. And try to restrain the
disproportionate fervour with which you throw yourself into
commonplace home pleasures. Don't cling so tenaciously to ties of
the flesh; save your constancy and ardour for an adequate cause;
forbear to waste them on trite transient objects. Do you hear, Jane?'
'Yes; just as if you were speaking Greek. I feel I have adequate
cause to be happy, and I will be happy. Good-bye!'
Happy at Moor House I was, and hard I worked; and so did Hannah:
she was charmed to see how jovial I could be amidst the bustle of a
house turned topsy-turvy- how I could brush, and dust, and clean,
and cook. And really, after a day or two of confusion worse
confounded, it was delightful by degrees to invoke order from the
to purchase some new furniture: my cousins having given me carte
blanche to effect what alterations I pleased, and a sum having been
set aside for that purpose. The ordinary sitting-room and bedrooms I
left much as they were: for I knew Diana and Mary would derive more
pleasure from seeing again the old homely tables, and chairs, and
beds, than from the spectacle of the smartest innovations. Still
some novelty was necessary, to give to their return the piquancy
with which I wished it to be invested. Dark handsome new carpets and
curtains, an arrangement of some carefully selected antique
ornaments in porcelain and bronze, new coverings, and mirrors, and
dressing-cases, for the toilet-tables, answered the end: they looked
fresh without being glaring. A spare parlour and bedroom I refurnished
